Some Of My Personal Favorite Underrated Kaz Moments From The Books.

TRC ANIMATIC :))

Idk what's happening my animatic keeps disappearing from tags, I'm trying to upload the yt version to see if it shows this time

If you come across this I hope you like it anyway :)

Guys!

I was so drowned with finals I slept less than 5 hours a night for two weeks,, but now I'm done. So I finished that animatic I started in December (what a bad idea to start this with that much work tbh), had so much fun doing it! All I could think of the last four weeks was this haha

I will finally add that the lyrics are very much linked to the scenes so make sure to listen to them

KITTY TRIES TO SUMMON BARTIMAEUS AFTER PTOLEMY'S GATE

“You don’t need me here." 

He looks exactly as she remembers him, or rather exactly as she remembers him. Same stupid coat, same long fingers and pale skin with the ink under the fingernails, the same bags under his eyes. (Except his eyes, instead of brown, they’re black, the same black of Ptolemy’s eyes, black you could fall into and never hit the bottom.) 

She chokes on her words, so carefully prepared, that rebuilding is a lot fucking harder than it should be, that a sudden influx of Polish immigrants has everyone on edge, petitions being signed for the previous government back, the good old days. a tenth of the city, including rebecca piper, has come down with a strain of the flu that’s left doctors baffled. kitty hasn’t slept more than three hours a night for the last week and there’s a pain in her chest that she’s been staunchly ignoring for too long now. and, most of all, people look up to her, people depend on her, and she’s helpless to help them. 

"i just missed you is all,” she says, shocked by how small her voice is. (shocked and angry. she’s better than this.) 

bartimaeus gives her a small smile, and suddenly half of nathaniel’s side is drenched in blood, his leg is twisted at the wrong angle, his hair is matted with dirt and sweat. (he’s still in better condition than when they found him.) “i’m tired, kitty. let me go.” 

she does. she hears — or at least pretends she hears — before he leaves: “but i’ve missed you, too.”

Can you hear your characters?

I have a whole lot of trouble making my dialogue sound natural if I don’t know what my characters sound like. Having a strong sense of their voice can help distinguish your characters from each other, show their personalities, and make them more engaging to readers. 

Here’s some details to think over if you’re trying to nail down a character’s voice:

Speed

Pitch

Volume

Accent

Vocabulary

Amount spoken

Willingness to speak

Stutters

Hesitations

Repetitions

Quirks 

Common phrases 

Other questions to ask:

Do their voices or the way they talk change depending on who they’re talking to or the situation they’re in? 

How can their personality come through their voice? Their sarcasm, empathy, awkwardness, etc. 

What in their backstory contributes to the way they talk? 

When they make a statement, how often does it come off as unsure or questioning, versus confident and factual? 

How does their voice relate or coexist with their body language? 

How to Improve Your Dialogue

As an editor, one of the biggest problems I see in beginning fiction writers’ dialogue is a lack of conflict.

(Come to think of it, one of the biggest problems I see in general is a lack of conflict, but that’s another post.)

Good dialogue, like a good story, should be rich with conflict. There are exceptions – most notably in a story’s ending or in brief, interspersed moments when you want to slow down the pace. But as a general guideline, dialogue without conflict gets boring very quickly. Here’s a classic example:

“Hi,” Lisa said. “Hey,” José said. “How are you?” “Fine. You?” “Doing all right.” Lisa handed José a turkey sandwich. “Would you like a sandwich? I made two.” “Sure, thanks.”

Okay, that’s enough. I won’t continue to torture you. Not only is there no conflict between the two characters who are speaking, but there’s no conflict anywhere to be seen.

The bad news is that if you write something like this you will bore your reader to tears.

The good news is that there are lots of ways to add conflict to dialogue. Once you know how to do it, you can make just about any scene pop with tension.

Of course, you don’t want to add conflict just for the sake of conflict. Whatever conflict you choose should be relevant to the story as a whole, to the scene, and to the characters.

Here’s my first tip: Have your characters say “No” to each other

One of the easiest ways to give conflict to a scene like this is to have your characters say No to each other, metaphorically speaking. In other words, to push back against the first character instead of just agreeing with them and refuse to have the conversation on the terms that the other character is proposing.

This is sometimes called giving characters different scripts.

Doing this creates an immediate power struggle that not only creates a more interesting story but can be really fun to play with. Here’s an example of how this idea could improve the scene between Lisa, Jose, and the sandwich:

“Hi,” Lisa said. “You forgot the mustard,” José said. Lisa thrust the turkey sandwich across the counter. “I’m fine, thanks. How are you?” “I don’t want it.” “I already made two. You should’ve said something earlier.”

Did you catch all the “No”s in that dialogue? Here it is again with my notes:

“Hi,” Lisa said. [Lisa is offering a friendly exchange.] “You forgot the mustard,” José said. [José refuses the offer and changes the subject.] Lisa thrust the turkey sandwich across the counter. “I’m fine, thanks. How are you?” [Lisa refuses to change the subject to the mustard, offers the sandwich as-is, and – bonus points – answers a question that hasn’t been asked.] “I don’t want it.” [José refuses to take the sandwich that’s been offered. Interestingly, though, he doesn’t try to take the power back in the situation by offering a new proposal, so he opens himself to a power grab from Lisa.] “I already made two. You should’ve said something earlier.” [Lisa acknowledges what José has said, but refuses to give into him by, for example, offering to make him another sandwich, add the mustard, etc.]

A big improvement, right? Dialogue like this makes us lean in and ask: What’s happening? Why are Lisa and José so testy with each other? What’s going to happen next? Will they make up? Will they come to blows?

If a scene like this comes midway through a story, we might already know that José is mad at Lisa because she didn’t come to the opening of his play last Saturday, and that Lisa, let’s say, has a bad temper and a history of throwing punches at José, in which case the dialogue becomes a great example of subtext.

Instead of having Lisa and José talk directly about the issue at hand (also called on-the-nose dialogue), we watch how the tension surfaces in their everyday interactions.

We get to become observers – flies on the wall – to their dramatic experience. In classic terminology, we are shown and not told the story.

Another thing to notice about this example is the use of gesture to enhance the dialogue’s conflict. Notice how when Lisa thrusts the turkey sandwich across the counter, it gives us information about her emotional state and implies a tone for the rest of her lines that we can hear without having to resort to clunky devices like “Lisa said sarcastically,” “Lisa said bitterly,” etc.

I have a few more tips about how to add conflict to your dialogue, but I will save it for another post. Hope this helps!

/ / / / / / /

@theliteraryarchitect is a writing advice blog run by me, Bucket Siler, a writer and developmental editor. For more writing help, download my Free Resource Library for Fiction Writers, join my email list, or check out my book The Complete Guide to Self-Editing for Fiction Writers.

Question!!! But how do I integrate subtlety into my writing? Like I have a hard time picking up on it and I annoyingly have a tendency to tell not show, so I wanted to know if you have any advice!

Writing with More Subtlety

-- Getting the hang of "showing vs telling" is a great place to start if you want to integrate subtlety into your writing. Saying, "Moonlight glinted off the lake," is more subtle than, "The moon was shining."

Guide: Showing vs Telling

-- Learning to evoke emotion and ambiance with sensory description is another way to write with more subtlety. After all, saying, "The house was scary looking," is not as subtle as, "Thick fog curled around the decaying timbers of the once grand Victorian home."

Horror by Darkness Horror by Daylight

-- Knowing what internal and external cues can be used to illustrate your characters' feelings is also helpful, because, "Sarah was sad," is not as subtle as, "Tears pooled in the corners of Sarah's eyes, and she bit her upper lip to keep it from quivering."

Showing a Character's Feelings The Subtle Signs of Romantic Interest and Love

-- Learning to weave details into your story is also helpful, as it's more subtle to work details in naturally than to do a big info dump.

Weaving Details into the Story

-- Finally, learn to drop hints rather than declare something outright.

Dropping Hints without Giving Everything Away

I hope that helps!

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Hey there! I just came across this blog and im wondering if I could get some advice. I have a lot of trouble keeping motivation for a story. I'll have a new idea that im really excited about, ill write 10-20 pages of it, and then get bored of writing it. Any tips on how to keep myself invested in writing my own stories?

5 Reasons You Lost Interest in Your WIP, Plus Fixes!

It's not uncommon for writers to lose interest in their WIP. Staying on track, or getting back on track, are skills you'll acquire with time. Here are some of the reasons you might have lost interest in your WIP:

#1 - You're Not Sure Where the Story is Going. When you figure out a way into a story you're excited about, the beginning can be a piece of cake. It's all set up and inciting incident, which can be really really fun to write. But if you're not sure what needs to happen after the inciting incident, you can find yourself meandering and get bored quickly.

Fix - If you're writing a story that is plot-driven or a combination of plot-driven and character-driven (as most stories are these days), it may help to familiarize yourself with Basic Story Structure and also have a look at my post about How to Move a Story Forward.If you're writing a character-driven story, you can adhere to basic story structure or a more loose structure, but your character's arc will be the focus of the story. If you think plot and structure may be what's holding you back, you might spend time on my Plot & Story Structure post master list to read some of the other posts there.

#2 - Something Isn't Working. Stories are often like a house of cards in that one misplaced "card" can bring the whole thing crashing down. Sometimes you lose interest because an element or event didn't quite work, and you can feel in your gut that something's not right, so your brain interprets that as losing motivation. It's not really that you've lost interest in the story... it's that you've lost interest in the dead end path it's on.

Fix - Go back through what you’ve already written and look for something that’s not pulling its weight. It could be an unnecessary character dragging the story down, a subplot that is cluttering up the story or drawing attention away from the main plot, or it could be a scene/scenes that don’t add to the story. It could even be a combination of these things. If you can find it and fix it, your motivation may return.

#3 - You're Just Not in the Mood to Write. It could be that your interest in your WIP is just fine, you're just not in the mood to write. Our brains aren't always great at interpreting signals from our bodies, including other parts of our brain. The thirst signal is sometimes misinterpreted as hunger, which is why if you're feeling hungry when you shouldn't, you should try drinking a glass of water. Sometimes, in the same way, we're just not in the mood to write and our brains misinterpret that as a loss of interest in our WIP.

Fix - Consider what's going on in your life at the moment. Are you stressed? Are you distracted? Are you not feeling well? Sometimes you just need to give yourself a few days or weeks to let things resolve, and then you'll find your motivation has returned. Try doing things to Fill Your Creative Well in the meantime, or try some of the exercises in this post: Getting Unstuck: Motivation Beyond Mood Boards & Playlists

#4 - You're Overly Focused on Quality. One of the biggest WIP interest/motivation zappers is focusing too much on quality in your early drafts. If you're fixated on things like description, flow, theme, symbolism, grammar, etc. in your first draft, you're going to mentally

Fix - Remember, your early drafts should be more about getting the story down and working out the kinks. Don't worry so much about things like description, grammar, details, etc. until you've got all of that hammered out. And remember that the whole point of editing and revision is to polish your draft. You get the story down and make it pretty later.

#5 - You're Letting Yourself Get Distracted by New Ideas. The thrill of coming up with a new idea is part of the fun of being a writer. One of the pitfalls of being a writer is new ideas sometimes distract you from your WIP. We can be completely into our WIP, then a new idea comes along and our brains say, "Ooo! Look at the shiny pretty!" And off we go. Some writers, particularly seasoned ones, are able to work on multiple WIPs at once, but you should focus on one WIP at a time if you commonly lose interest before they're finished.

Fix - When you get a new idea, write it down in a notebook and/or in a document on your device. Once the idea is "down on paper," just forget about it. Imagine that it vanishes once it's recorded and you close the notebook/document. It takes practice, but you'll get better at ignoring the pull of a new idea.

Here are some posts from my Motivation post master list that might also help:

Guide: How to Rekindle Your Motivation to Write Feeling Unmotivated with WIP Getting Unstuck: Motivation Beyond Mood Boards & Playlists Getting Excited About Your Story Again

Have fun with your story!

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