I Have Had Only Halbarry On My Brain For 3 Days Straight

I love that Dc is recognizing Dick's leadership qualities:

And we also have a proud dad Bruce:

Holy shit I love Ninjago

bernard: i just love true crime, don't you?

tim, trying to impress him: i may or may not be a war criminal with a hypothetical body count in the triple digits who's trained under multiple trained assassins as their apprentice

bernard: ???

Solomon: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

MC: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Solomon: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

MC: But I heard a siren.

Solomon: That was Mammon.

Mammon: Sorry, I got nervous-

——

Belphegor: If we put Solomon and Barbatos in a room, who would come out crying first?

Diavolo: The room.

——

Barbatos: Where's Satan..?

MC: Doing stuff.

Barbatos: I don't like the sound of that. Where's Lucifer?

MC: Trying to stop Satan. from doing the stuff.

Barbatos: And Asmodeus?

MC: Trying to stop Lucifer from stopping Satan. from doing the stuff.

Barbatos: I see. And what are you doing here, MC?

MC: I'm supposed to stop you from stopping Asmodeus from stopping Lucifer from stopping Satan, from doing the stuff.

——

Mammon: You can trust me! Let's not forget who pulled you out of the river when you were six.

Levi: let's not forget who pushed me in

——

Lucifer: You don’t want MC to die

Simeon: Right.

Lucifer: And I don't want MC to die.

Simeon: Right.

Lucifer: So we just have to make sure MC doesn’t want MC to die.

Simeon: Wonderful plan, but have you met MC?

——

Asmodeus: Do you think I’m ugly?

Solomon: It’s not about looks, Asmodeus. What’s valuable is on the inside...

Asmodeus: Aww.. Sol...

Solomon: For example, someone's heart.

Asmodeus: Aw... Stop it-

Solomon: It could be purchased for more than a million dollars, you know.

Asmodeus: Seriously, stop it.

——

Diavolo: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-

MC: Eyy, homie!

Leviathan: But then there's cootie...

Belphegor: Die.

——

Lucifer: Who broke the toaster?

Satan: It was Mammon.

Asmodeus: It was Mammon.

Beelzebub: Mammon broke it.

Mammon:

Mammon: ...yOU PROMISED-

——

Luke: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not!

Simeon: Luke, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday.

Luke: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it!

Solomon: ...It was a bug…

Luke: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not!

Solomon: ...

Simeon: ...

Luke: Stop looking at me like that!

——

Asmodeus: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.

Lucifer: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

——

Mammon: I'm not that stupid!

Lucifer: Mammon, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.

Mammon: BELPHIE TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

——

Mephisto, referring to MC and Mammon: Those guys are dorks.

Lucifer, insulted: Yes, but they’re my dorks.

the bats being asked how they would feel if they became their moms:

Bruce: sobbing

Dick: I'd be okay with that, she was truly a great mom... before she and my father were tragically murdered....

Tim: yea, I think I'm good. I loved her and all but I'd prefer not

Duke: maybe, you know, before she was jokerized and trying to kill me

Steph: fuck no

Damian: ....

Cass, after being reminded that her mother exists, silently stands and leaves to go and fight Lady Shiva again

Jason: look me in the eyes and ask that question again

BatFamily and Their Batman Ship:

Alfred - BatCat. Even though he disaproves of Selina's criminal life he enjoys her company enough it doesn't really matters. He thinks Selina and Bruce are perfect for each other.

Jim Gordon - BatCat and BruHarvey before discovering that Batman and Bruce were the same people he kindda just belived Catwoman was Batman's soulmate and Harvey was Bruce's tragic soulmate. Is more inclined towards Bruharvey because he thinks Bruce is the only one who can get Harvey's back and he and Harvey really bonded working together and he saw Harvey as an younger brother before Two-Face.

Dick - BatCat or SuperBat. He loves both Clark and Selina and both were basically parents for him in a way or another. He is very disapointed in Bruce for never acting on either of his two very obvious crushes. He is even more disapointed after Khoa breaks Bruce's heart.

Dick is an anti-GhostBat and Khoa will have to do a lot of work to prove his worth to Bruce's eldest child. He also disaproves of BruHarvey.

Barbara - BruHarvey or BatCat, just like Dick she grew whatching Selina sending Bruce the heart eyes and also respecting Selina as the ultimate girlboss. But while Dick was seeing Superman sending his dad love eyes, Barbara was seeing her uncles Harvey and Bruce weirdly pinning. And while Dick and Harvey never got along at all, Harvey was very close to the Gordon family as a whole and used to babysit Babs a lot.

Jason - Brutalia and WonderBat. He accepts some of Bruce's other love interests, but he doesn't like them. Talia means to Jason the same that Selina means to Dick, she is basically his mother and he adores her.

While Jason would support Wonderbat as well is important to add that he thinks Diana could and should do better. He thinks the same of Talia, but he also knows how much she likes Bruce and believes Bruce does act better when with her. He is starting to think BruHarvey is also not that awfull of an idea.

Cassandra - She saw most of Bruce's romantic phases with people and she has no fix idea. She just wants Bruce to be happy. If she had to choose one option would probably be Talia, but in parts is because she has a tiny crush on Talia.

Tim - None. Tim doesn't think anyone is good enough for Bruce. Or better put he thinks Bruce is too emocionally fragille for a relationship. Anyone who dates Bruce will have to deal with an overprotective Tim.

He specially distrusts Selina. The closest to a Bat ship he has is BatLatern cause Tim was the Robin during the time Bruce and Hal were having the weird "chair" friendship and it kindda reminded Drake of him and Kon. Still he is very anti Batman dating and will make a PowerPoint presentation of "things I'm going to do with you if you ever hurt Bruce."

Stephanie - Thinks Bruce is too much of a loser to date. Does ship BatCat. She likes Selina and like all Robins saw her and Bruce weird flirt, she thinks they match. She also supports Brutalia, mostly because Damian convinced her. She just really doesn't care. Will write trash fic about Batman and his Rogues. When Riddler was living at her home she would specially make fun of his crush on Bruce. But is more her being a little gremlim than anything else.

Damian - Brutalia. Duh. He wants his parents to be an item and he wants it now. Will do a parent trap if necessary. Sees good points in other ships, he actually gets along well with Selina and with Clark, but I mean, he is on his mother's side.

Duke - Coudn't care less. There is only one superhero love life he cares and it's his own. He loves Bruce but that man's love life is just too messy for him to have an opinion on and my man knows his priorities. While not as protective as Tim, Duke is still very protectice of Bruce.

Bao - GhostBat. This child of divorce just wants to see his parents get back together and he will fight the other child of divorce (Damian) over it.

[I can't imagine neither Kate nor Helena even participating on such debate because both are really not intererested in Bruce's weird love life. I also have no idea what Harper, Cullen, Maps or Luke would think].

All members of the batfam hate BatJokes.

Disclaimer: there is very specific situations with different ships, for example I personally believe that Lego Dick does shipp BatJokes and Unburied Babs ships RiddleBat. But this are very specific versions of the characthers and not the general norm.

excited for this dynamic in the new xmen comix

forever a “Zane was the first ninja Lloyd trusted” truther