Timetobetraumatised - TimeToBeTraumatised

“oh no, my audience has begun to guess the big twists of my story and are accurately predicting what will happen!”

incorrect response: write the rest of the story to be as twisty, shocking and counter to expectations as possible, regardless of whether this is a logical or satisfying way for the plot to go

correct response:

If a girl feels uncomfortable hanging out with you alone, and you get so offended by that, it makes you angry, she probably made the right choice.

People who don’t want to read The Martian in case the science is too complicated should be informed that it contains the lines “The best way to store the ingredients of water is to make them be water”, “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft”, and “If I cut a hole in the wall of the hab, the air won’t stay inside any more”.

i do think it’s interesting that in less than a decade after reviving both the jurassic park movies and star wars franchises, universal and disney, respectively, have fucked up what could have been never-ending theatrical cash cows to the point where the jurassic franchise is ending in critical disgrace and star wars has been relegated almost exclusively to disney’s streaming platform. how badly do you have to fumble bags that are mostly just “people and aliens in a far off galaxy and space” and “dinosaurs! what would happen if dinosaurs?” that the franchises became so devoid of any redeemable value that people are eh about seeing a cultural icon like darth vader wield his lightsaber or a website like rotten tomatoes, which grades on a heavy curve, especially for nostalgic projects, has your film at a 37% critical favorability and is being accused of making dinosaurs “uncool”. it’s fascinating. i hope the bubble bursts for marvel next.

genuinely fucked up that if i want to interact with someone online i have to say words and have a conversation instead of just mashing my face against them like a cat

For anyone who hasn't seen them before, Hidden Search Operators are handy tricks you can use when you're either searching or filtering AO3.

summary: string is a generic way of explaining that you can search AO3 for a specific word that appears in a summary. You can do this from the search bar in the header, from the Any Field box at the top of the Advanced Search form, or from the Search Within Results box at the bottom of the filter menu.

Examples:

summary: Bruce

summary: "Bruce Banner"

summary: Bruce OR summary: Banner OR summary: Hulk

You need to put quotation marks around your search term if it is more than one word. The quotes make sure that the site searches for those two words together.

The other two operators listed work best in the Search Within Results box.

expected_number_of_chapters: 1 will return results where every fic has only 1 chapter currently posted.

You can use expected_number_of_chapters: -1 if you want results where every fic has more than 1 chapter currently posted.

otp:true will return results where there is only 1 relationship tag on the fic. If you want results where there are 2+ relationship tags (and no fics with only 1 relationship tag) then you can use otp:false

me walking into the grocery store to buy everything bagels

OMG the backstory behind the whole boop thing is amazing.

i’m sorry but the point of this website is to make jokes and have your dash be unusable while said joke pops off and if you’re not doing that then you’re using it wrong

Hey bro/ster I'm super sorry to have to be the one to break this to you, but uh sometimes being a socialist means, you know, putting your dreams of terrorism down for a minute and talking about public policy and how your proposed form of government would like, uhhhhh................ work.