WHY NOW OF ALL TIMES IT COULD HAVE BEEN EARLIER OR IT COULD HAVE WAITED ANYTIME BUT NOW PLEASE

Maybe you can’t let it go because you know I genuinely care and I’m working on it.

You know that I’ll get better

You know I’ll never do it again

SHE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND IM NOT INTERESTED

sometimes i question how im alive

like damn bitch you live like this?

I can do better to stay out of sight. Would that be good?

Even they told me “You are just naturally good at disappearing”

I can do that again. I can disappear.

someday, everything is going to turn out okay. you'll wake up with no blisters, no bruises, no scratches. you'll go about your day like normal, surrounded by people who care for you. you'll laugh and joke with them like you always have, and it will be easy to forget the hard times you had before.

it's all going to be okay.

stay safe.

thank you so much. there's so much going on that i don't even put in my blog but words like these make me feel cared about. I know there are people supporting me out there more then ever right now. Thank you for your kind words.

God im so selfish, maybe if i had stayed, if that coin flip had failed, both of them would be okay.

I could have stayed.

I've done it before

Staying for the greater good even though I was hurting.

I should have stayed, then I'd be the only one hurting. Nobody knew because I was masking.

I would never have done this again.

I despise the person I was and the way i treated you.

Taking time away is the only way for progress to be made at this point. My emotions are numbed for now but I know I’ll have a few breakdowns. That’s okay though. I have my brothers and I have my distant friends. This is the way I will grow. I don’t need to recover to progress with growth. The recovery can happen at the same time. I have lots of time, I don’t need to rush it.

As for my plans for school in the meantime, I think I’ll start hanging out with my classmates for once. There’s a few of them who interact with me on a normal basis.

I left some people waiting for me but I won’t rush to them. I need some time.

I will probably be posting some terrible stuff soon but I can almost guarantee I won’t act on any of my urges.

make sure to think about them too, not just me

i don't think they'd want any parallels either...

sorry if thats not what you meant im crashing out and dealing with social interaction at the same time rn so idk what you really mean

Oh no not again why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why