Okay I'm Locking These In Early I Know What's Gonna Happen I'm Calling It Now

Batman isn’t a mask; It’s a leash. In this essay I will—

This is so accurate oml

Pride & Prejudice (2005), dir. Joe Wright

The kids are chaotic and with no idea how they ended up in this situation Talia and Lois did a Wife Swap. Which is very entertaining as Talia canonically have beef with the Superfamily.

Alfred: Going morning Mrs. Lane, apologies that Master Bruce and the kids can not greet you right now. They are training.

Lois: What do you mean training? It's 6 AM.....

Clark: Good morning....Talia.

Talia: Good morning Kent. Though we don't get along I apologize for interrupting your training session.

Clark: Training session? It's 6 AM in the morning.

Talia: Judging by your comment I assume the children are still asleep?

Clark: Yes....because it's 6 AM.

Lois: Does everyone always argue with each other every minute?

Batfamily: We're not arguing!

Lois: Yes you are, my family tends to talk things out calmly.

Jason: We're not arguing it's called playful banter

Lois: Sure....

Jon: Why are you dressed like that?

Talia: Dressed like what?

Kon: Dressed so fancy... we're going to do farm work.

Talia: I am aware of that. This is my farm work attire. Thank you very much.

Clark, Kon and Jon: ......

Lois: Sooooo what do you and Talia do together?

Bruce: Sometimes we like to sit beside each other reading a book in silence.

Lois: ......

Bruce: .......

Lois: Oh! You're serious!

Kon: I was thinking of getting a nose piercing but mom and dads disapprove or whatever

Talia: I reccomend a nose piercing. They are really cute and I have one.

Kon: Coolll

Clark: TALIA STOP TRYING TO INFLUENCE MY CHILD

Lois to the Batfamily: I've always thought that you guys are dysfunctional but looking at it up close makes me realize you are far beyond that.

Well, I finally found out the unidentifiable feeling in my chest every time I see some booktoker post about their version of fanfic.

Thus is amazing

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

Ok, I shall report back soon

Me: wow. I feel really sick and terrible right now, I should watch my confort movie

My friends: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN IS NOT A COMFORT MOVIE

Me, delusional: maybe it will be this time :D

I want all the bats to wake up in a world where Jason never died and Tim never joined the family and it just…absolute chaos. I’m talking like, competent Lex Luther but it’s Tim Drake.

Idk how but he was still trained by Shiva (was going to visit his parents at a dig over holiday and took a wrong turn). And it’s not like he’s a villian. he’s an anti-hero. Morally grey at best. He never stopped with the night stalking, he just expanded it to more than the bats. He is *the* info broker of Gotham City. Nothing happens in his city without him knowing.

The key thing here is that Tim never adopted Bruce’s mission. And as a kid with too much money, too much time, and a penchant for being where he shouldn’t be, Tim grew into the most feral of gremlins.

I’m talking chaos for chaos sake. Pulling one pin out of a well crafted plan by either the bats or the rogues just to see it all fall apart and watch them rush to improvise on the spot. I’m talking blackmailing a boardroom of executives because they voted against creating a skatepark in a lower income area of the city (kids deserve safe places to play). I’m talking catching a wiff of the League of Assassins in his city, tracking down all info on them back to their main HQ finding out about Damian, and calling in Mama Shiva to do a two person wipe out of an entire base to abduct who Tim has officially claimed as his little brother (aka Damian).

And yes, Damian does eventually make it to Bruce, but not before Imprinting on Tim, which is how Tim *finally* gets dragged into the family. Because despite his general ruthlessness, he has not, and probably never will be able to, say no to Damian when he flashes his puppy eyes at him.

Bruce is exasperated. He doesn’t know how to fix this. Jason is kinda impressed. Dick is wallowing because where’d his cute baby brother go. Who is cleverly disguised, feral trash panda.

Meanwhile in the other room Damian and Tim are sitting together sharing a secret smile.

“How long do you think it will take them to realize we’re the same Damian and Tim from their dimension?”

“Depends on how good your acting is Drake.”

“Plsss. I give it 6 months.”

“A year,” Damian challenged. Because it was a challenge.

“Deal.” Tim agreed, because this time around he gets to be a bit more chaotic and also dote on his baby brother without the threat of being assassinated. Oh yes. The younger brothers are going to have fun with this one.

Reblogging so I can see if anything is added

writing a peter parker in gotham fic wasn’t on my to-do list but frankly there wasn’t anything on my to-do list anyway

dapper / disheveled