It’s Weird What Medicine And Sickness Will Do To Your Dreams Like

Mina: Welcome to internet slang! Today we have Todoroki with us.

Todoroki: Thank you Mina.

Mina: Today we’re talking about tea, and not the hot drink.

Todoroki: There’s another kind?

Mina: Yes indeed! Tea can also refer to gossip. Spill the tea means share the gossip.

Before you were anything, you were a mother.

When the universe began it was you, and the earth was the first of your children. The seas, the skies, everything that walked the earth was your precious offspring. Humanity, however, were the children you were closest with, made in your own image.

The earth could not remain young forever, and as it grew it began to become too much for you to handle on your own. And so, like every god must, you collected followers. Humans who would take responsibility to do your work. In exchange you promised to reward them, giving them whatever they desired.

Children, however, are imperfect, and humanity is no exception. When promised whatever they want selfishness begins to take over, and time and time again that selfishness has stung. For every three steps forward your followers took to helping you maintain the earth, they took one step back with their selfish wishes. Eventually it felt like a chore, to reward them. It no longer felt like a gift to your children but a betrayal of them. Still, a promise is a promise.

When your next follower came forth to receive their gift, you were already prepared for the worst. They had suffered greatly, and those who suffer greatly have the most pain to inflict back on the world. It comes as a surprise, however, when they instead ask for the warmth of a parent’s embrace.

When you wrap your arms around your follower, this broken child whose only desire is to be loved, you begin to remember. You begin to remember that while humans can be selfish and broken they are still your children who wish for guidance and love. You remember that your followers are still young in the eyes of the universe, and do not know how to not be creatures focused on themselves. You remember and you forgive, and you remind yourself and the earth that you are the mother of everything.

Before you were anything, you were a mother, and a mother you shall stay until the end of time.

You are a patron deity that physically appears before your followers in order to reward them for loyal service. Usually, they like to fulfill their darkest desires, so you’re completely caught off guard when one of them asks to feel "the embrace of a parent."

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YOU hates terfs

The dot is the villain, of course. As much as they will deny it, they have loved the hero despite the fact they foiled them at every turn.

With the hero chained up, the villain unveils their masterpiece: a weapon that tracks everyone who loves the hero before obliterating them. The map powers on. “Wait. There’s just one dot.” The Villain says. “…Someone loves me?” The hero replies with hope.

Kirishima: Everyone assumes Bakugou is the responsible one. As his boyfriend I’m here to confirm it’s Sero.

Mina: There is a chart of responsible one. Kaminari and I are tied for last. It goes 1. Sero, 2. Kiri, and 3. Bakugou. Bakugou has had to be responsible before when Kaminari enacted a few bad ideas. He knows this and takes delight in it.

Bakugou, collapsing on the couch: Kirishima could kill me and I would thank him.

Jirou: I feel your pain. Momo giggled and I apologized.

Sero, laying facedown on the floor: Kaminari texted me I was a good friend and I wrote a love poem.

Mina: It's OK my disaster gays.

The hard part is doing this without revealing you are, in fact, a human, since humans are considered to have been dangerous.

The year is 2567, you’re a conspiracy theorist trying to prove that Humans once lived on Earth.