I Wish To Be Like A Cold Winter’s Day. Atmospheric Frozen Solid. An Optimistic Indifference. I Want

what are some really good female led horror films? i know some classics but im only now getting into horror and ill take any rec (can be as obscure as u want, idk)

shock (1977), carnival of souls (1962), nekromantik 2 (1991), baby blood (1990), opera (1987), black christmas (1974), the blood spattered bride (1972), cat people (1942), the entity (1982), the haunting (1963), dans ma peau (2002), kissed (1996), let’s scare jessica to death (1971), the night of the hunted (1980), daddy’s deadly darling (1972), hausu (1977), lisa lisa (1974), der fan (1982), the witch who came from the sea (1976), the living dead girl (1982), thirst (2009), possession (1981), suspiria (1977), the beyond (1981), raw (2016), daughters of darkness (1971), dumplings (2004), the demon (1963), cathy’s curse (1977), taste of fear (1961), messiah of evil (1973), symptoms (1974), absentia (2011), starry eyes (2014), bug (2006), the iron rose (1973), lake mungo (2009), the grapes of death (1978), night of death (1980), the birds (1963), alice sweet alice (1976), the long hair of death (1980), the house on sorority row (1982), alucarda (1977), kitchen sink (1989), a nightmare on elm street (1984), a tale of two sisters (2003), images (1972), may (2002), femmine carnivore (1970), dark water (2002), phenomena (1985), one missed call (2003), the slumber party massacre (1982), blood and roses (1960), the psychic (1977), ms .45 (1981), hotel (2004), full circle (1977), macabre (1980), vampyres (1974), lisa and the devil (1973), the house that cried murder (1973), succubus (1968), i walked with a zombie (1943), tomie (1999), the seventh victim (1943), the obscene mirror (1973), all the colors of the dark (1972), the girl who knew too much (1963), daughters of fire (1978), the diabolical dr. z (1966), the perfume of the lady in black (1974), evil dead trap 2 (1991), dream demon (1988), folies meurtrières (1984), fatal frame (2014), the queen of black magic (1979).

I just recently started listening to Hozier. And like... I get it now

The faintest whisper of rain, and a distant clap of thunder. It is here that I find my peace. Underneath the weight of pressure changes am I released.

I don't know always the directions I'm meant to move in. But I do know the distance is either damned or darned by your dictation.

My astigmatism sometimes might exaggerate her radiance with spears of light and halos. However my myopia only makes me nearsighted not shortsighted.

If a single grain of rice can tip the scale then a single act of kindness can change the spirit.

So I am gonna define a word here. Philosophy. Which meaning is regularly used as " A particular system of philosophical thought". I'm going to challenge that definition and modify it to this. "A particular system of thinking, feeling, or believing.". Now I'm going to explain why.

A philosophy, I believe, is the internalized intention. It is your thought processes, your reasonings, your logics, your feelings. These are not apparent, visible or measurable by any metric, rubric, or standard. After a certain age they become the basis for most of your meaningful actions, or at least for some of us.

Now your actions are separate from your thoughts and likewise vice versa. I am sure you have had an argument where you have you been "Oooh I could just throttle you right now.". But you don't, or won't. Another example you have probably have told yourself to get out of bed, or goto the gym. But your body for whatever reason didn't. Or at least I have that problem. I can think of one example of where my father in a moment of frustration slammed his fist into a pinball machine that he was repairing, breaking it more. His intention was to fix the problem. His actions complicated it further. (He later fixed the problem he caused, and the original issue as well)

Actions are Separate from Thoughts. They are, however, also something important, they are the externalized expression. These things are physical, they can be seen, felt, or heard. They are measurable. They are at times distinct and at other times subtle.

There is this age old question, "Who are you? Your thoughts? Or your actions?". I say to you, both. These things together, your philosophies AND your actions are who you are. If you made a Venn Diagram of these two things, that space where the two overlap is what I'm going to call "Thee Identity". These two things are symbiotic. They work off each other, they benefit from each other, they evolve and become more complex together. Or they should at least.

The integrity of who you are is based on how much those two things overlap. Think of Integrity like its a boat. If you puncture the side of that boat, you have now compromised it's integrity. It is now sinking. That's an exaggeration for dramatic effect, but if who you are becomes compromised. It's comparable to that.

Now to summarize. Your Identity, who you are, is a beautiful mixture of two contradictions. How you think, and how you act. The immeasurable and the measurable. Integrity is how much those two things overlap. It No matter what you believe, your experiences or your biases, your identity if formed by those two things. It is your DUTY as a living person to think about your actions and to act by thinking.

I had a pretty terrible day yesterday. I woke up in the middle of the night, and my brain was like "Why don't you make a self portrait but make it plum?" So I did. And this is what I landed on. I made this after a terrible day in a terrible year, where I have felt lost and confused. What I've learned while making this is that Identity and Narrative are things you have to give to yourself.

Damn the stars that shine. Damn the lies that were mine. Damn the lover’s love.

I'm gonna go on a rant here, and its another long one, so just bear with it and sit with me a minute longer. Its been rough couple of days for me. And I have been tired and irritable. Its one of those moments where I find myself asking for guidance. And I found it this morning sitting on the couch watching TV. There's this one bit in The Phantom Menace when Anakin is placed before the Jedi Council on what I can only describe as an interview, and the Jedi Masters are questioning him, testing his abilities. Yoda asks Anakin how he is feeling, Anakin being the kid that he is, he answers that he is cold and he is missing his Mom. Yoda professes that they can see right through him, that they can sense great fear and anger in Anakin. Anakin kinda just shrugs it off like what does that have to do with anything. "Everything" Yoda says "Anger leads to Hate, Hate leads to Suffering." And in all their combined wisdom of that council they decide that Anakin is not fit to be trained as a Jedi. They refuse this boy, who had only known the labours of slavery, and the heat of the two Tatooine Suns on his brow. Despite them knowing at that time that his midichlorian count was the highest ever seen, and they themselves seeing his 'attunement' with the force during their tests. He was prophesied, he was the Chosen One. They failed that boy. Qui-Gonn Jinn intercedes again in this boys life, he kinda just tells the council to shove it where even the two Tatooine Suns can't shine and he's gonna train that boy whether they like it or not. Qui-Gonn is killed shortly after that by a Sith. For some reason even after Qui-Gonn's death they reluctantly allow Obi-Wan Kenobi to train Anakin as his Padawan Learner. Emphasis on the Reluctantly. Every step of the way, one master or another is hounding him and scrutinizing him. Their own misdeeds and failures lead Anakin down a path that becomes the Dark Side of the Force. They tell him everything that he holds dear is wrong. Despite his feelings just being Human, he misses his Mom. He loves Padme. He's scared that hes gonna loose them. He's told he shouldn't be those things, and he's wrong for doing so. For a group that says only the Sith deal in absolutes, they have a lot of rules that say that this is thee correct way of doing things. I feel like if Qui-Gonn had lived Anakin would have gotten the support that he needed proper, and he never would have turned down the darkside. That is not to say Anakin is innocent in his future actions at all. But, he was almost only ever given fear and anger. And those things did lead to Suffering. For him, for his wife, his children. His friends, and ultimately the whole galaxy. I've spoken recently also in exhaustive detail about how I've been angry. It's a burden on my spirit. I am not comparing my anger here to a Sith Lord, but offering alternative solution one that Anakin was probably never given that wasn't in some pompous speech. You have been told that Anger leads to Suffering. But thats an abosulte. There's another choice. Forgiveness can also be followed by it. That is not to say to drop your resolve, to make the so clearly bloodened hands stainless, or the guilty blameless. But to Forgive, is to not feel Anger over it any longer. To not let resentment control you. And instead of teaching that Emotional Attachment becomes the Fear of Loss, they should have taught that there is No Such Thing as Seperation. Even in their tenets it says that there is no death, there is only the Force. And that if Love meant or was worth anything that it would still be worth something after they are gone. Fear and Anger are only falliable and Human. But to Forgive is something far greater. George R.R. Martin once wrote "The Gods have fashioned us for Love. That is our Great Glory." Hatred, Yet Forgivess. Anger, Yet Peace. And Love, even so come despite all these things. These things are that great Glory that we were fashioned for. This is the way.