I’m Willing To Bet It Won’t Be Long Before There’s Fanfic Recreations Of Points 12 And 14.

Gabriel: If i put the word ‘Dark’ in front of that, will i still be able to transform?

Nooroo: …yes i suppose?

Gabriel: …Cool

I was going to suggest on the OP’s post how to *stop* the children playing in the trenches with the corpses, until reading through the reboots made me realize how funny it was. This one though, I felt the pain of, as I also had a 9 month campaign against giants birds that were slaughtering my peasants when I lived in a savage biome. The birds ruined trade caravans, slaughtered a dozen peasants and a few soldiers, and ultimately left me so demoralized I abandoned the world save until Adventure Mode came out, when I retired it. Apparently the military complex I made in my effort to combat the birds was then hijacked by the king when I left the fort, who turned it into a war machine of conquest and has since begun a war with 2 goblin kingdoms and 2 Dwarven kingdoms simultaneously. This fort was the ONLY REAL SETTLEMENT this faction had and its now a war machine decimating goblins and dwarves alike.

And I didn’t find this out until I started a new fort after a bit of screwing around in Adventure Mode, and went “Why is everyone at war with me?” And then discovered it was because my old fort launched about 8 “conquer and occupy” missions a year

I don't know what kids out there need to here this but

PLEASE STOP PLAYING MAKE BELIEVE IN MY TRENCHES! Goblins could appear at ANY MOMENT and every second you spend there is a second we're unprepared for their arrival!

From that time I opened a sulfur geyser in a oil biome, with a magma leak. Also featuring molten lead because I decided to just keep cranking up the heat so I could double my lead extraction from here.

i think everyone should be at least a little bit fixated on a niche video game that came out like 10 years ago and has never been relevant enough to discuss with people you know in real life. for your health

Got tagged by @noahwithaw (As seen above if you’re not blind)

Relationship Status: Has Girlfriend (As of October 1st, i.e. yesterday)

Favorite Colors: Colors along the blue green spectrum, to specifically name them, Cyan, Teal, and Turquoise.

Wake up time: Typically around 11:00 AM to 2:00 PM. College is great for sleeping in.

Cats or Dogs: I prefer Cats to Dogs. There are a few breeds of Dog I really like (Yorkshire Terriers)

Coke or Pepsi: These two aren’t that different (I can typically tell the difference and really the only thing they affect is what other sodas come with them since Coke and Pepsi are a huge duopoly and such) though I personally prefer Pepsi, both for the other sodas that come with it, and just between Coke and Pepsi. Most Pepsi machines come with root beer (mug typically) so yeah, why am I going to drink Pepsi when rootbeer is an option?

Chapstick or Lipstick: What? Chapstick I guess? I mean why would I want to wear lipstick? I’m a guy. I barely even use chapstick (typically only when camping, and then I try to avoid using it because chapped lips are a sign of dehydration, which means if you drink enough water your lips don’t get chapped. So how I avoid using chapstick is by trying to drink more water. It works as long as water in is greater than water out).

Last Song I Listened To: Well I’ve typically got some music going on when I’m trying to focus on something so I had Lemon Demon’s “I Earn My Life” and at this point “Angry People” is playing and I’m having a hard time not laughing. “Evil Babies with guns. It’s completely normal.”

I’m not really planning on tagging anyone on this really. Most people I have that I follow/follow me, I either already know the answers to most of these, or they’ve just been asked by Noah, or, OR this is the one person I’m tagging, they’re @bumibomber.

Tagged by @k-omerebii aka my bae 
Rules: Tag 9-10 people you want to get to know better
 Relationship status: cuddling my pillow at night 
Favorite color(s): red, faded colours 
Wake up time: lol it rlly depends. School days = 6:45 am, weekends = 8+ am
Cats or dogs: dogs obviously but I rlly love kittens too
Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi 
Chapstick or lipstick: lipstick 
Last song you listened to: Here Comes a Thought from the show Steven Universe 💖

I tag: @hafizzzle @noahweidner and whoever wants to do this

First rule of ranged weapon safety is to have fun

I’m “Tax Fraud” and I’m “a threat to national security” and we’re

Paladins-on their way to earth

Hunk: You are my fire

The one desire

Believe when I say

I want it that way

Lance:Tell me why

Both: Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache

Shiro: Tell me why

All three: Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake

Keith: now number five

Pidge: I never want to hear you say

All: I want it that way

*Bonus*

Allura and Coran: (unaffected)

romelle: is this normal human bonding?

Coran: it’s better to not question it

Winter for a Pine Tree

Disclaimer: Hey this gets dark real fast (0 to 60) and was written primarily to “Balance out the forces of the universe” After a friend of mine took a join project I’d been involved in and taken it off the rails into Wendip Territory (The stories ended up splitting into 2 stories written by two authors each instead of 1 story by 4). Anyways to balance out the force of the universe (and yes, I’m looking at you Graviti and Futur) I wrote this.

It gets dark so I tagged it as Depravity Falls, and spoiler alert, it involves death. So you’ve been forewarned.

It had been three days since Dipper had last seen anyone in his family. The thought was still fresh in his mind as he hollered into his walkie talkie hoping for Mabel to respond. It had also been three days since he’d last eaten as his stomach was reminding him. And well somewhere nearby he could hear some of Bill’s monsters roaming around, possibly planning on eating him. Unfortunately for Dipper, he quickly recognized the creatures coming up behind him as eyebats. With them coming from behind him, his only option was to exit the alley he’d been hiding in and hope that there was a shelter he could hide in elsewhere.

Dipper made a break for it, and saw on the other side of the street the Gravity Falls mall, which fortunately was an indoor mall, so that’d likely slow down the eyebats. After a quick dash across the street, and having to ignore a very annoying monster, Dipper made it inside the mall without being eaten or turned to stone. The mall looked terrible, there was a huge hole in the skylight, the whole place had graffiti everywhere, and the carts, tables, and chairs were all over the place. Everything looked so ruined and abandoned. Except for a single table with a plate of nachos sitting on it under a working light.

Oh thank god Dipper thought, it felt like weeks since he’d last eaten, even if it’d only been a few days. Dipper forgot about almost everything as he ran towards those nachos in complete bliss over being able to eat again. He ran over and grabbed the nachos off the table. Then he noticed the wire that got pulled with the nachos. He didn’t even have to time to scream before he saw the shotgun fire.

The gun had been aimed to hit an adult in the lower crotch to upper leg area. Wendy had figured when she set it up it’d stop just about any attempted bandit or thug from getting to her, and teach them a good lesson too, hopefully without killing the target either. However Dipper was decidedly not the height of the average adult and had instead been shot right in the chest. He screamed out in pain as the power of the blast knocked him of his feet to the floor. He knew right away that regardless of what happened next, he couldn’t survive this. Even before weirdmaggedon his injury was enough to be fatal.

He heard footsteps run into the room and saw none other than Wendy run into the room. Dipper’s head was still ringing from the blast, and he couldn’t clearly hear what she was saying as she entered. She seemed to look pissed, was probably screaming, and had a crossbow drawn in her hand. He then saw as her anger quickly turned to confusion and then horror upon seeing him lying there. Wendy ran over to him obviously upset over something, but Dipper couldn’t make out the words. She was sobbing as she picked him up. The whole world was beginning to get fuzzy, and the pain was beginning to lessen. Dipper was beginning to feel really warm. Really warm and comfortable. Before he lost consciousness, he heard what Wendy was saying to him “I’m sorry Dipper. I’m so sorry.”

Dipper lay there and his last thoughts churned away at those words. He couldn’t make sense of what they meant. What was she sorry for? He really couldn’t remember anymore. His eyes felt heavy but he never built up the strength to close them. Wendy watched as the last signs of life left Dipper’s eyes.

I caught that “Soup Store” reference. I’m reblogging solely because of it

You kind of have to wonder, if 2B had been drawn out over a full season, just how long they could have sustained these two not speaking to each other