Thesadpandagod - The Sad Panda God

Every time I see someone who is dealing with an issue with abuse come up on the news, I am bombarded with the simple reality that the society I live in will always perpetuate abuse, and reward abusers.

The social response to the #MeToo & BLM movements are the easiest (for me) to point at, but are definitely not the only ones. Victims of abuse are the unwanted voices in the social sphere. We break the belief that the world is just. We must be brought in line. Discredited, muted, obscured.

"It was just a joke. You're overreacting."

"Well, you did drink too much that night."

"I mean, you did do weed / cheat / drink / shoplift when you were younger."

"You wore that? No wonder."

"Well not all christians -"

"You can't call them narcissistic / an abuser / a rapist / a racist -"

"I've met them and they were lovely, you must have done something / be lying."

"They never beat you or anything, right? You should just forgive them. They're human, after all - we all make mistakes!"

It is an odd thing. Piling onto abuse, to preserve an illusion that there is none.

and its free

For every reblog a trans woman gets a hug and a penguin

Your heart aches for the bitter work that lead you down this destructive path.

This is what happens when white guys listen to Indian music

wake up babe new jesus just dropped

Abuse has a goal behind it, and a lot of the time, it's about changing the victims behavior. If someone screams at you for not doing X activity, eventually you learn to do X activity. If someone hits you when you defy them, eventually you learn not to defy them. If someone abuses you frequently enough, and you begin to break down to their will... It is possible to reach a point where it may seem like you're not being abused anymore.

They don't yell anymore because you stay quiet and do what you're told. They don't threaten you anymore because you don't voice even the slightest disagreement or need. What used to be screaming fighting arguments have become lectures at your expense. They may even praise you for doing what they want you to. And all those mundane moments - breakfast, the rare kind act - stand out more. Your perception of the relationship skews even more. It's all normal now.

And it's still abuse. It's just reached its end goal - wearing you down so badly that they don't need to overtly abuse you anymore to get what they want. All they need to do is make a joke, or complain to guilt you, or tell you want to do/not to do, etc. etc. The fact that's all it takes now doesn't make what's happening to you less severe - if anything, it means you're in much, much more danger than you could realize.

It's abuse. It's horrific. It's just not obvious anymore... and that's terrifying. You deserve so, so much better. You deserve to truly be safe - not to have your wellbeing held behind fearful compliance. That's not safety. That's not love. That's abuse. It being psychological doesn't make it less dangerous.

I've been thinking a lot about queerness lately and I keep getting stuck on how deeply I want it to be normal. I want little girls to come home excitedly telling their parents about a pretty new girl in school that they have a crush on. I want young boys to have their first kiss with another boy and be able to tell their friends about it. I want them to be impressed and slap him on the back and say congrats. I want to bring home a woman to my family and have my father give her that whole fake threatening, "you better be good to my daughter" speech before offering her a handshake and a beer. I want people everywhere in the world to be able to hold hands in the street and not even think twice about it, not have to feel afraid, not have to feel like they're making a statement. I want so desperately for the world to catch up with something that so many of us already understand as normal. I don't want to be merely tolerated, and I wish pride wasn't necessary. I wish that having confidence in myself wasn't a revolutionary act.

i love my lesbian mutuals esp gnc lesbians esp he/him lesbians and nonbinary lesbians i hope youre all having a good day