You Were Alive In 2006? How Old Are You??

Hawke's job is so much more interesting than mine. It pays better too. Come watch me be jealous.

I have no idea how old your book rant post is, but here I am, about to be your problem

I HATED THE SUNBEARER TRIALS

Yeah, okay cool, it’s a book with a trans author and trans main character. EVERYTHING ELSE WAS TRASH

It starts off great, with the MC graffitiing (spelling???) a wall with two birds and then he never does anything interesting again in favor of pining over/think about/hate a guy from his childhood that was mean to him once ten years ago. Before you go thinking the MC’s hatred of him is justified, just know all that is because the guy pulled a mean girls and said YOU CANT SIT WITH US a literal decade ago.

His best friend is a part of a group he hates, but it’s okay because she’s one of the good ones

And now: The cardinal sin

THIS BOOK IS MARKETED AS PERCY JACKSON MEETS THE HUNGER GAMES YET HAS NO CHARACTER DEATHS AT ALL AND SAYS **** IN THE FIRST LINE

WHO IS THIS FOR????????

I adore Hunger Games, but I mean it when I say that if I could travel back in time to stop those books from ever being published, I would do it in a heartbeat just so I would never have to see a book marketed as "X meets Hunger Games" ever again.

If you put even the slightest hint of competition in a YA or YA-adjacent book, it gets called Hunger Games. I could write a full rip-off of Bring It On, but the competition element would guarantee that it would be marketed as an HG style book.

The same thing happens with Mean Girls. Does your book have teenage or early 20s girls being in proximity to each other? Well it's Mean Girls now.

And it's really not doing these books any favors. Cause people pick them up expecting something in line with the brutality and messaging of HG, and end up disappointed as hell when that's not what they get.

I think publishing houses might actually be my mortal enemy

⬆️ Me fighting publishers for all the bs they pull (especially Red Tower - hate them)

Cassandra Clare drives me insane. Like. Her books had me insane for years. Then I read Queen of Air and Darkness and. Honest to god that ending.

So. I don't remember most of the books story (let alone how it made up 3 books over 400 pages at the minimum) except that if you were legally recognised as best friends you couldn't fall in love. No one knows the cost of this. The cost turns out to be turning into giant flaming naked people.iirc. That's the ending. No destruction, no one is saved. It's just a thing. That happened.

AND LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK. It's so anticlimactic. I don't get it. I don't get where it came from. I don't get why this was so foreboding. BESIDES THD YKNOW.

Also. What's the trigger for this to happen. Because Alec loved Jace (his legally recognised best friend) but that ended fine. Was it because it wasn't required? Because Alec fell in love with Magnus at the end? IDK. but also in the upside down world, they acknowledge their in love and have sex. Which a) really bad priorities. They're in a world where the villain of the Mortal Instruments committed mass genocide and they're having sex. b) WAS IT JUST SEX STOPPING TBEM?

I'm certain there must be an explanation in the books. But I was so confused even when I was reading it. So either this was made up on the spot or I'm going insane.

Oh my God, I just found out, like today, that the entire Mortal Instruments series takes place over five months!! Five!! Months!! That's it. That is so much in such a short time.

At some point, I am going to have to sit down with those books and comb through them to lay out the time line.

Cause I feel like this is going to be a Pretty Little Liars situation where they acted like Caleb was in Ravenwood for at least a year, but because of the PLL time line, he only visited for like a weekend.

Oh, Jace and Clary are so in love....girl, you have known each other for like a day, sit down.

Also, Clary is a stupid name that I will never take seriously. My brain always autocorrects it to Celery.

VAX-SamWilson/CaptainAmerica by batmankm on DeviantArt

Streaming now!

all the “weird” content on tiktok feels so fabricated and performative. whereas on tumblr you’ll meet someone who will casually admit they eat paint

Hate the Maximum Ride series I hate it. It had so much potential but James Patterson wouldn’t know consistency if it hit him in the face. Like the part where the gang went to Antartica? It felt like I had missed a book with how much had happened. And Izzy’s mom going from dead to actually being married and thinking he was dead? Whack. Within a couple of chapters too like. I could be remembering wrong but what kind of inconsistency was that?

I've never read this series, but because my brain is utterly broken, I have watched multiple hours long videos about it. And even then, with all that knowledge, having it all condensed down to it's most straightforward and coherent, I could in no way give you a cohesive plot summary. Like, I think they stop the apocalypse, stop the climate crisis, and then it doesn't matter because the apocalypse happens anyway? Maybe? I don't know.

I don't think even James Patterson knows.

I'm starting to think he's not even a real person. Just every now and then, a book appears in the world with that name on it. It never goes to an editor, no publishing house actually handles it, it's never even been to a printer. It just appears in bookstores and we as a society just don't question it

his thumbs they went up im so proud of him

adhd makes you have purple eyes no body hair and no period

People either forget or don't care that defense lawyers are the foundation of our justice system. 'innocent until proven guilty' doesn't work without them

You know our society is fucked up when people seriously think being a criminal defense attorney is like. A moral evil. Like people seriously jump to “wow you defend murderers” as if the majority of “crime” that happens on a daily basis isn’t literally stuff like addicts being caught possessing drugs or homeless people being arrested for loitering or fucking poor women stealing food and clothes for their kids like… the average person is just one or two paychecks away from also being deemed a “criminal” by society but yeah sure you should definitely act like needing to be defended against the state makes you an automatically morally bad person