I TRICKED MY TEACHER INTO THINKING I WAS HER CAT, BUT THE CHIEF OF POLICE IS IN LOVE WITH HER?! (EMOTIONAL)

I just realized something. And of course this would happen. But Stanley won the Tumblr competition. On weed day. He swears up and down that he doesn't smoke weed, but considering how rank his bedroom smells, I'd say this makes perfect sense.

Happy weed day, Stanley.

hear me out: the one piece. once it’s found. no clue what it is but why not?

Well, I do love a bit of mystery. I suppose I'll hear you out.

reblog if you have skilled writer friends and you're damn proud of them

We just got our dog back from the kennel after vacation, and apparently he though we were just leaving him. On the way home, Stanley went into Subway, and now Marshall thinks he's being abandoned "again".

He's been panting and whining for the past ten minutes.

Also, we did end up taking the seat belts off of the windows. They're no longer necessary.

Here

Stan is hot.

Dipper is adorable.

And you

Are

Cute.

"Cute" is a word one would use to describe a puppy or one of those strangely structured math equations that spell out love notes.

I am not 'cute'. There are no compliments regarding physical appearance that I will ever agree with aside from "vaguely resembling a human".

I am, however, highly intelligent, and I unfortunately must say, that is the limit to my 'good qualities'.

My hair is curly. I'd say about 2c, maybe even more if I actually spent time doing one of those ridiculous hair routines.

Stanley keeps telling me that my hair isn't fluffy, it's actually curly and I'm just "not taking care of it". I said that wouldn't make sense, because almost no one else in our family has curly hair. We all have fluffy, unkempt hair. He said to just try washing my hair without aggressively brushing it out afterwards, "and even if it doesn't work, just do it to prove me wrong".

I am going to wash my hair, and I'll come back to tell you all when it inevitably turns out to just be a fluffy mess again.

He was such a good man, aside from the fact that he was a criminal on the run and spent half of his entire life committing identity fraud 😢

YOURE ALIVEEE

WH- DIDJA THINK I FUCKIN DIED??

Your tags have me imagining Robotnik hanging onto Stone like a koala while Stone makes him a latte (I headcanon Stone as being ridiculously strong, because how dare he lack the strength required to carry Robotnik when he doesn't want to get up!)

Then Robotnik realizes one horrible thing when Stone hands him the latte. He needs both of his hands to drink it (since he drinks like a little gremlin that just found treasure), but that would mean being put down. But he really doesn't want to wait for Stone to find a chair.

So he makes Stone sit on the floor so he doesn't have to get down.

Robotnik does this to make people uncomfortable and no other reason.

Grunkle Ford, I keep being harassed by different versions of Bill

Let me consult the moss.

"slurp their eyes through silly straws"

Okay, not consulting the moss. Maybe just ignore them. When I ignored the Bill in our universe, the worse that happened to me is I got an embarrassing tattoo and a nail stuck through my hand.

Please vote Stone. Please. He is obviously the superior choice. I am actually begging.