"The Old Gods May Be Great, But They Are Neither Kind Nor Merciful. They Are Fickle, Unsteady As Moonlight

I can't deal with physical loss. I'd rather lose you to someone else than lose you to the earth. Come back, love.

'I can't. It's too risky,' I tell myself, as I back away from the wings that lay in front of me, the ones that I yearn for, hope for. Live for. Those wings.

'I'm so close,' I argue, 'I've always wanted this.' Those wings.

I can imagine Icarus smiling at the stars burning in my eyes.

'Come,' he would say, 'Fly.'

I smile, closing my eyes, keeping those stars going supernova to myself. And I walk away. Those wings.

'I am no Icarus.'

02.05.23

So, I've been pretty productive today. Did groceries and attended the lectures. Need to do a chap rn. I need to study and do well. I'll study till 9pm and then, sleep. Slept a good 10 hours yesterday. Sleep is the most important thing ever.

"Do you know how to live three hundred years?” she says. And when he asks how, she smiles. “The same way you live one. A second at a time."

- the invisible life of Addie LaRue by V.E Schwab

But books, like people, die. They die in fires or floods or in the mouths of worms or at the whims of tyrants. If they are not safeguarded, they go out of the world. And when a book goes out of the world, the memory dies a second death.

- cloud cuckoo land

But the world is strange and endings are not truly endings no matter how the stars might wish it so.

- Erin Morgenstern, The Starless Sea

We are all stardust and stories.

- Erin Morgenstern, The Starless Sea

When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist.

- Madeline Miller, Circe

02.03.23

So, today, I got done with a lecture that I've been putting off since December. Feel much more productive. I have a long day tomorrow. I have 2 more lectures to go through and a 5 chap test of physics tomorrow.

02.08.23

I studied for 6 hours today. It feels so good to study. I wish for academia to take over my life and consume me. I want to be a workaholic.