There Are Over A Billion Bugs In The World (some May Even Say More Than A Quintillion), And They All

WAIT NO FUCLK I MEANT TORTELLINI. I GOT THAT FUCKIGN TORTELLINI IN MY POCKETS.

got that fuckign. ravioli in my pockets.

I'm here to send flare and be queer. ✨

best way I have found to comfort people who are endlessly apologetic of things outside their control (often as a result of shitty relationships) is the jokingly hyperbolic accusation of [gasp] "so you're behind it all!"

like someone giving me directions who starts apologizing profusely when I miss a light as if it's their fault--[gasp] "it was you who petitioned city council to build this intersection in 1893!!" because it snaps them out of it and they laugh like. oh yeah. that's a ridiculous thing to blame someone for. I'm not that guy. you're not that guy. it works.

JUST SAW A CAR WOTH THE LICENSE PLATE "BRM BRM" IM CRYING THIS MADE MY DAY

About to do my first illuminate mission!!!! I'll update y'all about how it went afterwards.

Its my birthday today!!!!! I even got a party hat. I can't wait to celebrate the fact that everything is slowly being widdled away by time and that change is an inescapable constant of the universe over some cake!!

me irl

she vend on my machine till i-

OH GOD DAMMIT

it got- fucking....

It got stuck in the fucking mACHINE AGAIN

I JUST WANT MY SNACK. CANT I HAVE ANYTHING IN THIS CRUEL HEARTLESS WORLD ‽‽‽

reblog to diminish the horrors from the person you reblogged from

I WAS ONLY O. TUMBLR FOR LIKE 5 SECS YESTERDAY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS A BOOP ?!?!?!???!!?????????!!!!!