Also The Original Tweet Never Specifies Straight Or Cisgender Women. So. You Know.

Oh I'm going to be seeing this show later this month!

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

As someone who was there back when this happened, no, the chat type post came after the shoelaces / stole them from the president. Tumblr chose that flavor text because of the meme.

there is something so darkly comical about tumblr potentially outliving twitter

tumblr, which is held together with duct tape and madness, run by three raccoons in blood stained Yahoo! hats and a handful of crabs, its only discernible source of income the sale of shoelaces from an inside joke so inside no one knows the original source anymore and fake blue checkmarks... that website still lives on

truly the cockroach of social media and I love it for that

The first time I ever got drunk I pulled up the last scene of Twelfth Night on my phone and passionately recited it, voicing all the characters. And apparently this was totally unprompted. There was a lull in the conversation and I just went for it.

I used to have the entirety of Queen Mab memorized but I’m still salty over being harshly graded for that school project and because

“And I, most jocund, apt, and willingly, / To do you rest a thousand deaths would die.”

“Where goes Cesario? / After him I love / More than I love these eyes, more than my life, / More by all mores than e’er I shall love wife“

Is the sexist SEXY-EST thing in all of Shakespeare.

Um no offense but why doesn’t anyone memorize passages from books and then recite them aloud for everyone at parties anymore.

Once my sister entered my house (where she did not live at the time) at 1:00 am, accidentally waking me up.

The next morning (a weekend) she woke me up at 7:00 am (too early) to ask me, politely but firmly, to make her breakfast.

I told her we had eggs, cereal, and yogurt.

She asked if I could please make her something.

I told her we had eggs, cereal, and yogurt.

She told me she wanted something hot, but not eggs.

I said, "That sucks."

She said please.

I said fine, I recently (two days previously) learned an amazing grilled cheese recipe.

(It had been practically the only thing I ate during those two days.)

I made her grilled cheese.

Brie, with the lightest amount of jam, fresh strawberries, and thin slices of apple.

She thanked me profusely, said I was the best sibling ever, and that it was the best goddamn grilled cheese ever.

It makes for a great story, because that's such an absolute bat shit thing to do.

So, yes, I, non-binary, would make my spouse a sandwich if woken up at 3:00 am and asked to do so. I would only do it the once, and I would be laughing at how absurd and profoundly self centered the request was at every possible moment.

My parents think my response to when a women asked me the following question question is why stopped being pursued in my Catholic community. It was a lighthearted discussion but maybe they are right lol. Although every single happily Godly married couple who I asked this question to (seperately from each other) has given the same response, my parents included.

So, the question:

No nuance button because nuances is already baked in. We are assuming both spouses are able to make a sandwich (nobody is in a full-body cast or had brain cancer or whatever).

AND NO NASTINESS

Hook it before putting it on.

I was planning to cast my uterus in glass once I’m finally able to get my hysto, but if anyone wants to pay for my surgery $14k they can have it instead.

I won a book from a contest at my library. I have dyslexia and they were able to get an audio book for me. Ella Enchanted was the book I picked. I still sometimes listen to the back half when I'm having a rough time.

Do you ever think about how hostile todays world would be for Ella (Enchanted) what with modern advertising? Adblockers MANDATORY lest she enter financial ruin. She couldn’t drive down the road without horse blinders on. I think about it all the time.

Also she’d have to get Mandy to vet all music for her. I feel like she’d just do a lot of movie soundtracks and classical.

Yeah, they never really get into how music with lyrics works for her, do they? I mean, she lives in a world without recorded sound, and medieval(?) music wasn't known for having as many imperative phrases as the modern sort often does.

We know she can resist commands directed at other people that she happens to overhear- the part when she reflexively fastens her mother's necklace around Hattie's neck and then realizes the order was for Olive -but so many songs are just directed at the generic listener.

Would she be stuck with flu symptoms from inability to lick Cardi B's neck, back, etc. until someone came in and countermanded WAP for her?

I had a seizure in response to dental epinephrine. That provided some solid insight into the fact my body was already reacting horribly to my natural adrenaline / epinephrine. I freaked my poor, poor dentist out so badly.

So I go to the dentist and the appointment I had was not the appointment that I thought I was going to have (normal maintenance vs deep clean) so i warned the dentist "hey heads up I burn through dental anesthetics super quick and also I'd like to use as little as possible because putting the dental anesthetics in my body is the most painful part of the process unless I'm having a root canal or something" and she's like "Hmm. Okay. Is it just the injection site?" and I was like "no, it will feel like burning on the opposite side of my face and in my nose and eyes and stuff." And she was like "Hmm. Do you turn really red when this happens?" And I was like "I don't know, I can't really see myself when it happens." And she was like "are you willing to experiment with this a little?" And I was like "sure, no worries" and she injected me with one anesthetic and it hurt like a motherfucker and she and the assistant both went "OOOH" and she was like "Yeah you got really red right away let's try the other," and it was the same thing and then she was like "okay I think this is the one that will work" and it hurt a little bit but it was fucking NOTHING compared to the comprehensive full stabbing burning facial pain from the others and long story short the dentist was like "You're reacting to the epinephrine in these other anesthetics," which I guess is fairly common for people who have autoimmune disorders.

So I guess this is to say: If you get spreading, burning, stabbing pain when you are being injected with local anesthetics it's not supposed to do that and you should say something.

I'm on the East Coast, went to sleep at 9 pm, hoping to sleep through the night. Nope, nightmare and awake at 11:00 pm.

People are freaking out based on these early results and I just can't with that shit tonight. We know how it goes - Republicans look like they're doing well early on, then as more votes are counted and more polls close there's the shift. And yet every time we lose our minds.

I believe the water mark on this photo reads “Shand and Her Dogs”. Reverse googling the image does not come up with the instagram account that I believe this photo was originally posted on. This is a new challenge in sourcing stolen and unaccredited art work that I have not come across before.

More photographs from this artist can be found here. Beautiful work.

Edit: Confirm, this is in fact the artist! And here are more photos from the shoot! X X