Grrr, Those Soles Need Such A Licking And Tickling (and Locking In Stocks)

Tanner Braungardt feetz - imagine the hammock's a bondage sling and those soles are getting mercilessly tickled and licked while he squirms helplessly

Tanner thought neck beard improved this photo but I disagreed so I thought we might better appreciate the good parts without it.

If only he'd realised his meal had been laced with a mild sedative to prevent him putting up too much of a fight when some local men came to drag him from his hotel, chain him up in their private "milk den", and endlessly pump all the thick fresh cream from his balls into jars...

Tanner posted some old pictures to show his progress and as is usually the case when one does, ended up showing how great he looked before his progress. Not that he doesn’t look great now, but pics 2 and 3 clearly establish he was doing juuust fiiiiine before putting on the weight he has now.

There was a rare Dylan sighting in Oklahoma the day before Tanner’s birthday.

Tanner just spent $350k on a car he’s convinced himself for years is his dream. I think there’s a chance that after all these years he’s mentally strong enough to handle achieving this goal, but the Tanner I’ve long known would definitely be headed for a spiral into depression because now that he has it what is there left to live for. I consider it a blessing that no vehicle impresses me and find the concept of a dream car ridiculous. I think it was a mistake but I also think maybe he has the perspective to get some enjoyment out of it and then sell it and move on, so I’m trying to reserve judgment. If he hasn’t already figured out a car won’t make him happy, he’s about to find out. He might already know but then why buy it. He’s done a lot of dumb things but none this expensive.

‘Hey, hey, let go!’ yelled Tanner, as two guys who’d been hanging around the trampoline park grabbed him mid-jump and carried him to a van outside to be hogtied, gagged, and driven off to a quiet little dairy farm to be milked of all his thick, delicious “Kansas Kreme”…

Tanner is getting back to his routines after recent travels but the Midwest Meetup which is usually close to his birthday is coming up. Usually this means a lot of cute flippers show up in Kansas.

Tanner displays several items he’s offering for sale. Sadly the nips were not among the auction items but here as evidence that he knows how to market his equipment.