New watch list! After the weird and off-putting poorly handled abuse analogy that was Nosferatu 2024, it’ll be nice to see some classic vampire media again.
hello and welcome to my 100% Scientific Evaluation of Various Dracula Films! my credentials are that i recently read the novel and am now firmly in the clutches of a vampire obsession, have too much free time, and never grew out of my goth phase.
ill be rating each adaptation (using a completely arbitrary and subjective 10-point scale) on how faithful it is to the book, how gothic it is in terms of aesthetics, and how much i personally liked it overall. ill also be rating - and this is crucial - how hot each film’s version of count dracula is, because im gay and i have a crush on him.
spoilers ahead.
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🍑 💍 ⚡️ LISA FRANKENSTEIN (2024) dir. Zelda Williams
shinagahara,,,,,,,,,gokuinagahara,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,gonmta shhinaga
Since Goku//naga unfortunately makes me a tad uncomfortable I think the thought of Kiyo being a middle man for them is incredibly quaint and balances it so perfectly;; touch-starved lanky lad with two extremely affectionate partners of absolute opposite heights who are just constantly all over him,,,my brain is ROTTED.
Usually all my Shinnaga polyships are of Kiyo and Angie flustering the hell out of the third, very intimidated, member; but this one really gets my braincells running SO FAST with Kiyo being the flustered one for once 😭
I love these two idiots
Hellraiser 1: we'll kill you if you screw us out of this deal, kirsty
Hellraiser 2: NO DEALS, KIRSTY. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT
Hellraiser 6: I'm gonna drag you into hell with me kirsty and NOTHING WILL STOP M-- oh a deal? Of course babe whatcha got
Genderbent Skulduggery Pleasant that nobody asked for,
Bonny- beautiful, attractive, one letter away from bony
Legerdemain- in French literally “light of hand”
"The domino scene, where V tips over black and red dominoes to form a giant letter V, involved 22,000 dominoes. It took four professional domino assemblers 200 hours to set it up." V For Vendetta (2005) dir. James McTeigue
I’ve reblogged the Black butler characters, and now I reblog the Gotham characters - do you see that I am easily amused?
No joke, these are so accurate.
It’s nice to see some of the smaller, season 1 era characters, like Gertrude - I often get caught up in the season 4-5 section, especially with the whole Jerome and Jeremiah thing. Am currently rewatching season 2 on TV (because it’s airing on TV for some reason), and I forget how much I love this show!
silly thingy for pride month hehe :3
This is totally my experience. Every piercing that I’ve had (I’ve been going since I was nine) has gotten infected - never terribly, and it’s always calmed down after a while and eventually heals, but it’s still an annoying process. I follow the instructions, and clean it, I don’t sleep on it, and still my ears hate me…
I bet my body fucking hates it whenever I get a piercing. Poor thing is like HEY THERE'S A PUNCTURE WOUND. IN THE FACE. A FOREIGN OBJECT IN THE PUNCTURE WOUND. And I'm like oh yeah lmao I know, it's there on purpose. THE FUCK YOU MEAN IT'S THERE ON PURPOSE?? Yeah I got it put there on purpose, just heal around it. THE FUCK YOU MEAN IT'S THERE ON PURPOSE. WHY IS THERE A PUNCTURE WOUND WITH AN OBJECT IN IT. ON PURPOSE.
And I'm like chill, it's sterile, we're gonna clean it twice a day so it won't get infected. I DON'T FUCKING CARE THAT IT'S STERILE. And I'm like wow the fuck you mean you don't care? Do you want it to get infected?
YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD ALSO MAKE IT NOT GET INFECTED? NOT. HAVING. WOUNDS. WITH. FOREIGN. OBJECTS. IN THEM.
Fascinated by the decision to give the blind man a white cane in the 19th century. Just in case the reflective glasses and the way he clearly couldn’t see anything on screen in front of him wasn’t enough.
Big fan of the foggy/grainy exposure on the nighttime outside scenes.
Also very impressed by Mrs Hyde’s impromptu dress making skills from a curtain.
Not to mention, Jekyll’s intense joy at transforming himself into Mrs Hyde and delighting in her femininity and being horrified by the re-growth of his masculine body hair.
“I was caught in a terrible trap. To continue my work I needed Sister Hyde yet all the time I became more and more aware of her growing dominance within me, a dominance I no longer had the strength to fight, contain or control.”
Being a grandpa theory diehard is all about walking the fine line between Yana's same face syndrome and Francis actually looking like Undertaker