hoping to post part 3 of smoke & light this weekend! pls send lots of good vibes and encouragement đ”âđ«
GUYS SHALL I REPOST PLUG AZ TOMORROW
SURPRISE!!
I couldnât hold onto this any longer!!
Remember kids, five finger necklace ALWAYS
Kloartz did such an amazing job on this I literally couldnât wait!!
Support on Instagram here
DO NOT REPOST
giiiiirrrrrlllll a fall out with the best friend sucks.. I canât say I blame you, Iâve had my friends go spread my business before and it never ends up pretty, Iâm so so sorry that youâre going through that on top of a huge work change.. sounds to me like you need to get zooted many a times this week.
and spicy depression is the only term for it, I fear that I was blessed with bipolar 1, generalized anxiety, and a panic disorder đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ș
Yeah sheâs the biggest gossip I know and that shouldâve been the only red flag I needed to see but clearly, I had to go 5 years deep and allow her into every aspect of my life đ
Girly pop snap with the anxiety and panic disorder! Do you find anything in particular helps? Bc since I was like thirteen my go to coping mechanism was cleaning or writing fanfic because it gave me control LOL
Half rewritten an old bisexual!reader smut đ€© hoping to have it finished and posted tomorrow night angels!!
I told fwb az that I shit my pants and he chuckled and took me home to clean me upâ€ïž he's a keeper I fear
HAHAHAHAHAHAAH
THE MAKEOVER LOOKS SO GOOD ML!! <333
THANK YOU I LOVE YOU!! đđ
should we do a blurb night soon?
SUMMARY: Harnessing your power is growing easier by the day, and Madja finds out some interesting things about witches souls.
WARNINGS: swearing, mentions of torture, kissing, teasing, fingering, handjob, oral (female receivingâall of this is somewhat public), mentions of death
WORD COUNT: 6.4k
Series Masterlist
Cassian struggled against the vines that wrapped tight across his midriff, his muscles flexing with power but nothing shifted as they tightened with his every move. His golden skin was coated in a thin sheen of sweat, his shoulder-length hair damp with excursion.Â
You were no better. Your chest rose and fell rapidly, your skin flushed as your knees began to buckle. Hold it. Rhysandâs voice had continued to purr into your mind throughout the session, guiding and commanding every step of the way. He worked you from sunrise to breakfast, then again from dusk until nightfall.Â
It had been your routine for the past two weeks, and with every session, your power and control grew stronger. You could now detain a being with nothing but your mind, could bound and gag with vines and soil. This session, however, was different. Because it wasnât just vines that wrapped across Cassianâs arms and legs and torso.Â
This time, the vines had thorns. And they pierced his skin deeper with every movement he made.Â
It had taken an additional two weeks to get to this point. Two weeks of introducing the Inner Circle to your magic, of slowly allowing them past the protective walls your abilities offered. You no longer had to keep your distance from your friends and family. It appeared the only time your magic attacked on its own was when you were startled or afraid.Â
Youâd been at it for sixty minutes already, your brows dotted with sweat. Rhysand continued to slowly pace the training ring atop the House of Wind. Feyre stood off to the side, a towel in one hand and a glass of water in the other. Nesta watched from beside her, arms crossed against her generous chest as she squinted at the way her mate seethed in discomfort.Â
So far, Cassian had not been able to break free from your bindings, nor had he been able to move a single muscle more than an itch. And Rhysand was more than impressed.Â
âGood,â he complimented, a noticeably proud smile on his face. At that, you slowly released your power and took a heaving breath of relief. The vines lazily slithered from Cassianâs body, the thorns leaving scratches in their wake that healed almost immediately.
âYouâre presenting incredible control. Tomorrow, Iâd like for you to make those thorns bigger. And by next week, Iâd like to see if you can implement a slow releasing toxin or poison.â
Cassian widened his eyes at his High Lord. âIâm not volunteering for that.â
A smile found your lips as you took a few breaths to settle your lungs again. You had never expected training to be this rewarding. Rhysand was nothing but attentive to your powers and how they worked. He made sure you felt comfortable with everything you tried and he never once tried to push you beyond your limits.Â
When you expressed you first wished to harness your power in a defensive way, he was more than happy to oblige. He agreed that perhaps it would be the best way to learn control, and then you could go down the route of healing, learning how to harness it for remediation, too.
And Cassian⊠well you were unsure if you would ever be able to thank Cassian for the trust he had for you. To allow your wild magic to bind and hurt him, not knowing if you could reign it back if it got too much.Â
Rhysand chuckled at his brother. âWeâll work something out.âÂ
If it were Rhys, heâd practice on one of Azrielâs prisonersâdraw out their pain and suffering with toxins and thorns. It would make a great interrogation tactic. But it wasnât him. It was you. And Rhysand was not prepared to present that situation or idea to you. Not unless you came to him and it was exclusively your suggestion.Â
For now, he would figure out another way.Â
And Elain had told him as much before she and Lucien left just a week ago, claiming she had to reason to remain. You were safe, you would learn control. And she would visit after her and Lucienâs travels.
Feyre approached with a glass of water, handing it to you and dabbing your damp skin with the towel. From his seat across from you, Cassian gawked and scoffed playfully. âI didnât realise Y/N was the one to be bound and pricked for an hour.âÂ
Nesta rolled her eyes. âIllyrian baby. As if you havenât endured worse.âÂ
Despite the chuckle leaving your lips, you still offered him the rest of your water, which he happily took with a cheeky wink. You returned the sentiment with a half-smile, your body still struggling to recover from the energy the session took from you.
As much as you were enjoying itâhoning your power and taking controlâyou couldnât help but yearn for more. You understood the strength of your mothers magic was enhanced by your fathers Fae heritage, and you had been practicing winnowing with Mor whenever she had the time to spareâŠbut your motherâŠ
âIâd like to learn more about witchcraft.âÂ
All eyes turned to you, some wide, some weary. You cleared your throat, shifted your weight from one foot to another. âAs thankful as I am for thisâand as much as I am enjoying itâIâd like to learn the other side, too. Rituals, spellsâŠâ
No one spoke. You met Rhysandâs eyes and something akin to regret was lit. Your shoulders slacked at the sight. âNone of us are exactly versed in witchcraft. And it has been a long while since Iâve met a witch who doesnât feel inclined to eat me.âÂ
An attempt at a joke, you understood, but it did not relieve any of your disappointment. Three weeks ago, Madja had confirmed that out of all of your cousins, Elain was the only one to share similar markers in her hair and blood as you. Markers of wiccan ancestry. Rhysand had been the one to suggest Elainâs presence and similar magic may have been what awoke you.Â
It had been known that when she was tossed into that Cauldron, it took something from her. Through Madjaâs research, she was led to believe it had taken that power and replaced it with her Fae abilitiesâkeeping that nature element but changing its course completely.Â
Which meant you were alone. With barely any clue where your ancestry stemmed from, it was useless to even ask. But your mother had been a healing earth witch, that much you were certain of. Surely there had to be books somewhere, even if just to intrigue you until Madja concluded the rest of her research. Â
âGwyn may be able to help,â Nesta spoke.Â
You turned to her. Yes, youâd heard of the young priestess, a fellow Valkyrie of Nestaâs. Your cousin had told you much about her position in the library within the House. Yet that was as far as your knowledge on her went.Â
Still, it awoke that small shred of hope within you. Hope that one day you could feel close to your mother again.Â
Azriel took a sip of his tea, lounging back at the dining table as he watched Cassian shovel heaps of eggs and bacon into his mouth. The shadowsinger couldnât help but quirk a brow at his brother. Cassian had always eaten like a starved male, but this⊠Azriel was certain it had been minutes since he stopped to take a breath.Â
âItâs not going anywhere,â Azriel quipped above the rim of his mug but Cassian did not slow. He chewed as his gaze met his brothers and spoke through a mouthful of his breakfast. âYou let Y/N bind you with her vines and prick thorns into your skin for a solid hour, then you can comment on my eating habits.âÂ
A smirk kissed at the corners of Azrielâs lips at the thought. He would be more than willing to allow his body to you for practice. Though he wasnât sure heâd want an audience. Especially not with how his scent was already beginning to shift at the thought alone.Â
Gods, after four weeks of tasting you and touching you, he should have his hormones under control by now. But he was no better than any other Illyrian brute. He was starved for you all hours of the dayâcompletely insatiable. He had never experienced such hunger before. It was completely overpowering.Â
The sound of Cassianâs plate sliding across the table broke him from the sinful thoughts, and he looked at his brother who now seethed. âReally, Az? While Iâm eating my breakfast?âÂ
Azrielâs smirk faded as his brows rose, taking a sip of his tea. âAre you forgetting about the time Nesta was choking on your cock, right before I was about to eat my dinner?âÂ
Heat rushed to the apples of Cassianâs cheeks, not from embarrassment, but from the thought of his brother seeing his mate in such a compromising position. And not because he did not trust Azriel, but because he knew that at one point, Nesta had considered the shadowsinger for herself.Â
The general cleared his throat and shifted, attempting to reign in that mated protectiveness. âWhatâs the deal with you and Y/N anyways?â
Azriel took another sip of his tea. âWhat do you mean?âÂ
Cassian scoffed. Azriel always did that. Played dumb or completely ignored any conversation when it came to his love life or bedroom habits. âI hear you both, going into each other's rooms at night,â Cassian admitted, âyouâre not sneaky.â
Azriel hid his smirk behind his mug. âNot trying to be.âÂ
The general's eyes squinted. He was used to his brother deflecting, ignoring. He was not used to him being so truthful and open, despite him only saying four words in response, Azriel did not deny his involvement with you.Â
âYou like her?âÂ
Azriel remained quiet, watching Cassian with a blank expression.Â
âSheâs been through a lot,â Cassian probed, noting the way Azâs grip on the mug tightened.Â
âI know,â he got out.Â
âAnd this is all pretty new to her⊠I imagine it's very overwhelming, too.âÂ
Azriel narrowed his eyes. âWhat are you getting at?âÂ
Cassian shrugged, slouching back in his chair as he crossed thick arms over his muscular chest. âNothing. Sheâs grown a lot since coming here, and sheâs growing more every day. I wouldnât want her to feel like sheâs just a secret to you.âÂ
Raw pain sliced through Azrielâs chest at his words. He knew you did not feel that way, knew you were always so open and honest and comfortable with him. Yet Cassianâs words still stung. He could have brushed his brother off, claiming he didnât know what he was talking about. But that would mean downplaying what he felt for you.Â
And he was not prepared to even entertain the idea of that.Â
âWeâre not keeping anything a secret.âÂ
Cassian smirked. âSo there is something going on.â
Azriel finished the rest of his tea, set it on the table and a scarred finger traced the rim of the mug as he considered his next words. He did not have words to describe what continued to bloom between the two of you. Longing stares, subtle touches, heavy kisses and passionate intimacy until the early hours of the morning.
And yet you had not crossed that line, not with him. He would not rush you, would not pressure you. Azriel accepted anything you offered and gave back everything in return.Â
âSheâs been through a lot,â he repeated Cassianâs earlier words, âI want her to understand that sheâll never have to experience that type of control ever again.â
Cassian did not need to ask anything further. Partly because he understood what Azriel was insinuatingâthat he was allowing you to set the pace and decide whatever you wereâand the other part because it was not his place to press for more information. It was your life, your story and your trauma. He would not invade your privacy like that.Â
Cassian respected you far too much.Â
So, he nodded his head, pulled back his plate of breakfast and heaped another spoonful of eggs into his mouth. He would not push on the matter, but that didnât mean he couldnât toy with his brother a little.Â
âY/N mentioned she wanted to learn some witchcraft. You know, spells and rituals that her mother mightâve used.â Azriel hummed, gaze fixed on the table. Cassian bit back his smirk. âNesta suggested taking a look in the library for some old books. Gwynâs going to help.â
Azrielâs eyes snapped to Cassianâs, his face paling just slightly. Bingo.Â
The shadowsinger swallowed. âWhen?âÂ
Cassian ate another spoonful. âTheyâre already down there now.âÂ
Azriel did not bid his brother a goodbye before his shadows guided him to the library doors within the House. His heart was thumping against his chest, an anxiety like no other streaming through his veins. He was yet to tell you about his infatuation with Mor, his brief involvement with Elain, and he had not yet disclosed the same about Gwyn.Â
The last thing he wanted was for you to hear anything outside of anyone elseâs mouths. It was for him to explain. No one else.Â
He entered the library quietly, dismissing his shadows so as to not fright the priestesses. He passed Clotho first, offering a subtle nod in greeting before sauntering further into the dim library.Â
Perhaps Azriel should have mentioned this place to you sooner. Despite your love for books, maybe knowing this place was available could have helped with your healing. But you had done so well without it, and Azriel had very selfishly enjoyed every moment of your presence.Â
It did not take long to find you, your scent still lingering in the air and he followed that trail to one of the higher levels. There was where he found you. Alone, eyes gleaming in happiness as you looked through the archives of rituals and witchcraft. You already had two books in your arms and Azriel did not hesitate to take them from you as he approached.Â
His presence took you by surprise, only for a moment and you offered a wide smile, your chest feeling warm. As it often did when you spent time with the shadowsinger.Â
âAz⊠what are you doing here?â you asked in a way of greeting.Â
He held booth books in one arm and offered a grin at the nickname youâd taken to calling him. Gods, he had only seen you yesterday evening and yet it felt as if it had been days. You looked even more beautiful today, the gentle glow of Fae lights casting over your skin. Though he could notice a hint of exhaustion in your eyes, likely from your training with Cassian and Rhysand.Â
Az stepped closer. âCass mentioned you were down here looking for some grimoires. Thought Iâd offer some help.â
You squinted your eyes at him playfully, cocking your head to the side. âDidnât Cassian tell you that Nesta was with me? And Gwyn?â
Colour stained his cheeks. âYes. But an extra set of eyes and hands never hurt.â He looked around then, in search of his brother's mate and the young priestess that he had saved those few years ago. âWhere are they anyway? Nesta and Gwyn.â
You shrugged, returning to look at the bookcase before you. âNesta wanted to look at some romance novels, Gwyn mentioned she saved a secret stash of the smutty ones for her.âÂ
You did not mention the way the priestess had looked at you with guilt or embarrassment when Nesta told her Azriel was quite fond of you. Your cousin did not need to say anything for you to understand. There had clearly been something there in the past, something Gwyn felt wrong for. She had no reason to.Â
But you did not speak those thoughts to her. Instead, you offered a beaming genuine smile and thanked her for offering her assistance. You had promised to come and visit the library again, and had suggested bringing lunch next time.
It was clear to her that her past involvement with the shadowsinger did nothing to sour your current one. And she was more than thankful for it.Â
âAnd youâre not interested? In the smutty novels, I mean.âÂ
You turned to Azriel with a smirk, a knowing gaze in your eyes. He mirrored it, cheekily. Gods, he would never fail to make you melt beneath that hungry stare. âSomething else has been keeping my interest instead.âÂ
A grin, and then, âIâd like to keep your interest tonight, if youâll let me?âÂ
You quirked a brow, the books long forgotten as you faced the handsome male before you. âOh? And what did you have in mind?âÂ
Everything with Azriel had felt so easy in the past weeks. Even this, the flirty⊠it seemed to fall naturally between you both. Never once had you experienced an uncomfortable silence or nervous pause.Â
It felt right.Â
Az closed the distance between you, reaching a gloved hand for your waist as he leaned down to brush his nose against yours. âI was thinking of taking you to the Rainbow⊠more specifically, to the theatre.âÂ
A grin spread across your full lips. âReally?â Your excitement was palpable, and Azriel had no doubt that if his shadows were here now, theyâd buzz around your small frame with adoration.Â
He nodded, planting a slow kiss to your mouth. Your lips puckered against his, following his lead. There had been more of this since that fruitful night he touched you at the townhouse.Â
Kisses and touches when you were alone, lingering glances when in the presence of others. Often, your nights were spent with him, in his bed or yours, in the private library or in the gardens.Â
You had allowed him to touch you, taste you⊠he had allowed you to do the same. Azriel had given you full control over every situation, every interaction. Whatever this was between you, you could not get enough. Â
âIâd like that,â you whispered into the kiss, feeling his mouth stretch into a smile before he kissed you once more.Â
You leaned into him, melting under his attentive touch when someone cleared their throat and he gently broke his mouth from yours. Nesta stood to the side, a pile of books in her arms and a brow quirked.Â
But Gwyn⊠she did nothing to hide her grin, the flush of her cheeks or the happiness that glimmered in her teal eyes. You knew she knew of your story, your trauma. And you knew her happiness came from a place of understanding.Â
Understanding what it took to break through the past and live in the present. To move on. To heal.Â
âNeed I remind you that this is a library, not a brothel.âÂ
You rolled your eyes at your cousin. âYou best scamper off with those books then, Ness.âÂ
She scowled at you playfully when Gywn breathed a choked laugh. Azriel watched her then, his body stiffening just slightly before you. But enough for you to notice, to feel it.Â
âItâs good to see you, Azriel.â She offered politely.Â
He dipped his head. âAnd you, Gwyn. Thank you for helping Y/N with the grimoires.â She brushed him off with a waving hand and turned her bright attention to you with a smile.Â
Azriel felt his tension slowly dissipate, watching the way you both seemed to communicate with your eyes alone. You knew, he could tell. And you did not think of him any differently.Â
Not one bit.Â
The play was wonderful. Well, as much of the first half that you had seen. By the time the curtain pulled for a short break, Azrielâs hands had begun to wander. Beginning on your knee and ending between your thighs.Â
He had gotten you seats in Rhysandâs private booth. And when darkness shrouded the theater during the interval, his shadows encompassed you both to hide you away from the public.Â
His lips were hot on yours, his tongue licking sensually against your own. Your small hand had wrapped around his thick shaft, pumping the way you had grown to know he liked. And his fingers curled deliciously at that spongy spot within you.Â
You did not stop when the curtain opened and the play resumed. Neither did he. Azriel had instead lowered to his knees and pried you thighs open, rolling up the fabric of your dress as he stared into your soul.Â
Then his mouth was on your aching cunt and your head was rolling back against your seat. His tongue worked meticulously, licking and swirling, his mouth closing to create suction on your throbbing clit.Â
Your fingers curled into his hair, tugging at the roots and fingernails scratching at his scalp. The first time Azriel had tasted you, he had you reach that high three times before stopping. And every time since, he had done the same.Â
Though this time, you knew you had to keep quiet. Your spare hand covered your mouth, your teeth biting at the palm of your hand to stifle the moans and whines that threatened to escape.Â
Your hips bucked into his face, his guttural hum sending vibrations through your veins. He was a starved male when it came to you, and you feared you would never get used to that hunger.Â
His fingers continued to pummel into your cunt, curling and scissoring to stretch you deliciously. The sounds were obscene, wet and quiet but everything was far too amplified. You only hoped his shadows could also offer some form of soundproofing, too.Â
âAzâŠâ you barely managed to whisper, forcing your eyes open to watch him.Â
He was already looking at you, his pupils so blown in arousal that you could sparsely see the honey you loved so much. You had never experienced such desire before. Even in the other times you had been intimate with him, it never felt as strong or as dire as this.Â
Because this had you wanting to damn any consequences. Damn any trauma you had once experienced. You wanted him, every part of his body and mind and soul. You wanted to feel his thick cock stretch you out, fill you until you were crying and pleading for him to ravage you.Â
Youâd never once felt such primal need, and Azriel noticed the shift in your scent. Noticed how it changed from arousal to a diabolical sense of unravelling. Youâd never looked at him with such ferocity before.Â
And Azriel feared he would lay down his life in that moment, if you so asked.Â
You tightened around his fingers, your legs trembled. You bit down harder on your palm as undiluted pleasure seized your body. As you cried silently, as your thighs shut tight around his head. As he sucked on your clit at the same time his tongue rubbed against it.Â
You came harder than you ever had before. And by the way you heaved a breath through your nose, you knew Azriel had reached his high with you.Â
With his hand fisting his long cock and his pleasure dripped down his scarred fingers. Perhaps it was that hunger that remained that had you reaching for him⊠that had you guiding those fingers to your mouth as you cleaned his come with your tongue.Â
He mirrored your actions, removing his digits from your cunt and stuffing them into his own mouth to suck them clean. You watched one another, chests heaving as your pussy throbbed and Azrielâs cock twitched.Â
Youâd go again, youâd force him into that chair and straddle him, sink down on him until he was buried so deep within you, you didnât know where you ended and he began.Â
And Azriel appeared to have sensed your thoughts and shook his head. He pulled his fingers from his mouth, but you kept his in yours. âNot here. I wonât take you for the first time in the fucking theatre.âÂ
A grin spread across your lips and you released his fingers, now clean as the faint salty taste of him stained your tongue.Â
You batted your lashes down at him. âWhat if I asked nicely?âÂ
He huffed through his nose, though a smile graced his face. âDonât tempt me. You deserve more than that.âÂ
Your expression softened at the kindness of his words. He always knew what to say, his actions always followed his verbal promises. Another thing you had never experienced before. But Azriel seemed to take pleasure in showing you how you should be treated.Â
âYou deserve everything,â he whispered.Â
You reached for him then, for the knitted wool of his sweater and he followed your lead when you met him in a searing kiss. No words could convey what this male was beginning to mean to you. How strongly you felt for him.Â
âI only want you.âÂ
Azrielâs heart remained steady, despite his mind's racing. He would give himself to you in a heartbeat. All you had to do was ask.Â
He was about to tell you as much, when a gentle call of his name sounded in his mind. Azriel took a brief moment to compose himself before allowing his High Lord into his mind.Â
Apologies for interrupting. He purred. Azriel fought the urge to roll his eyes. But Madja has concluded her research. Sheâd like to speak with us, weâre awaiting your return.Â
You noticed the distant look on his eyes, the one he only sported when Rhysand called for him. Your stomach dropped slightly, not ready to end the night just yet. But the smile on Azrielâs lips suggested it would not be for the worst.Â
âMadja has some information to share. Theyâre waiting for us at the House.â
He had winnowed you almost immediately to the bottom of the ten thousand stairs. Only then did he take a moment to fix both of your flushed appearances and plant a tender kiss to your mouth.Â
He had flown you both to the balcony, gently settling you to your feet. Though your arm remained looped with his as you walked into the House proper, where Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian and Nesta awaited with Madja.Â
The elder healer offered a smile in greeting as you entered the lounge, and your arm slipped from Azrielâs.Â
âYou will be pleased to know that I have finally exhausted all avenues for this research. I have some interesting things that I think would help and that Iâd like to share.âÂ
Your heart thundered in anticipation. By the look in Madjaâs eyes, you knew you were about to learn everything. She set three old books onto the table, their pages thick and discoloured. They must be at least five centuries old, but you would not be shocked if their age preceded that.Â
âI finally managed to trace your heritage back to your ancestors through your blood and hair samples.â She paused, as if waiting for everyoneâs undivided attention.Â
âYou are a direct descendent of Mother Garmelhia. She was High Witch of the Elesendray covenâa coven of earth witches. They were healers, though through her blood, the abilities were not always passed down to the offspring. Your mother was the first in two centuries to present these gifts. Her sisterââ she turned to Nesta and Feyre, ââyour mother did not possess such abilities. Elain inherited a drop of those gifts, which the Cauldron quickly took, but youââ Madja looked to you again, ââyou are blessed with the rawest form. The same as your mothers, but stronger.âÂ
There was no hiding the silver than lined your eyes. A storm of emotions clouded your vision, your mind. Your mother⊠your beautiful motherâŠÂ
âFor some their abilities lay dormant until something triggered it. For example, Elainâs did not trigger until forced into the Cauldron, and even then, her power had shifted when Made Fae.â
You processed her words, everything made sense. Your magic had been buried so deep within you, with your mothers mark. But you wondered if your power would have shown had she not glamoured it.
âSo mine triggered the moment I passed the wall into Prythian?â you asked.Â
Madjaâs tight lips quirked to the side as if in thought. âIt would appear something happened when you passed through. And with your Fae heritage from your father, that would have also played a part. Do you remember exactly when something felt differently?â
Your mind carried you back to that night, when Nesta took your hand in hers and guided you past that shimmering veil. When you were shoved to the ground and your hands touched the grass for the first time. You shared a look with your cousin, cocking her head to the side as if she was also trying to pinpoint it.Â
âUm⊠right after we passed through. After that creature attacked us. Everything felt clearer, but still slightly hazy. I could sense things but I didnât know what. I thought it was just because the land held magicâŠâ
Rhys took a step closer, his hands stuffed into his pant pockets. There was a gleam in his eyes, one that demanded more. âDid you find anything else?â
Madja nodded, reaching for the top book of the pile and flipping it open to a random page. Indeed, the book was old, yet it somehow held the scent of something you had never come across before. Something slightly familiar, yet not at all.Â
âYes⊠have you ever heard of soul-ties?â
Something in your stomach almost exploded. Azriel took a curious step closer, eyes scanning the pages but they were all in ancient tongueâone that Madja clearly spoke or at least understood.Â
When nobody replied, Madja went on. âWithin the Elesendray coven, and many others in history, soul-ties were the equivalent of a mating bond. Through the brief history I could find, it is said that a witches soul calls to another. Not just any soul. The other half of theirs.â
âSo⊠like a soul-mate?â Cassian piped up.
Madja nodded and she did not break your gaze. She knew something, something you did not.Â
âWhat does that have to do with my abilities?â
âIt doesnât. Not directly at least. But it is also said that when a witch finds their soul-tie and their souls are merged whole again, it is a tether so unbreakable that it exceeds even the strength of a Fae mating bond. And unlike the Fae mating bonds, if a witch does not accept their soul-tie, they will cease to exist entirely.â
Everything went silent and your heart refused to beat.Â
âWhat are you saying?â Nestaâs tone was not one to play with.Â
But Madja took a breath and laid a withering hand over the page Azriel could not take his eyes off. âI believe you have found your soul-tie, Y/N.âÂ
No. There was no way. You didnât dare look at Azriel. You couldnât. You didnât know what it was that grew between you, you did not know where you stood in that sense. But the relationship you had ran deep. Deep enough for you to fear losing whatever he was to you.Â
You begged your power not to act, begged it not to show the fear that began to cripple you. You had already once been bound to a man you did not love, a man that did not love you. You would not be forced into it again, with a powerful male this time who could do unimaginable things if he wished.Â
You stuffed that fear so far down you almost choked on it. âHow do I know who my soul-tie is? I didnât think there were any other witches in Velaris?âÂ
âIt doesnât have to be a witch.â Madjaâs eyes bore into your very spirit. âA soul-tie would be someone who endured the same agony as you to trigger an ability, to become who they were fated to become. Nothing is by chance, the Mother forges what is meant to be. Especially for witches.â
You were too overwhelmed, scared. âBut passing through the wall triggered my powers? Who else would have done that?âÂ
You were in denial, refusing to believe that this was to be your fate. But it was Rhysand who took a step closer, his lips parted and eyes clouded.Â
âYou always had your power, passing through the wall just awoke your senses, because of your Fae father. Your motherâs magic was truly triggered when we burned your mark.â
You watched as Rhysandâs eyes drifted to Azriel, to his hands. Your lungs seized, your chest ached. You could not look at him, could not dare meet his desperate gaze when a lone shadow slinked to your hand and weaved between your fingers.Â
âHoly Gods,â Feyre breathed.
Azriel remained still, aloof. For if he moved even an inch, he was sure to crumble. He knew. At that moment, he knew. Heâd always had his suspicions, even when you were human. His soul called to yours. The missing half of him.
Rhysand came closer again. âWhen your stepbrothers burned your hands when you were a child, when you were locked away, your ability to wield shadows was triggered.â
Shadowsinger.
You stared at his handsâthose beautiful hands. You had not known of Azrielâs story, had not ever wanted to pry. You never felt the need to ask, never considered his hands were anything abnormal. His step-brothers had burned them. He was a child.Â
And your magic⊠burning the mark to set it freeâŠ
It was silent for too long, like it was some sick dream and joke and the Mother only ever intended for you to experience pain and agony in your life. But it made far too much sense for it to not be true.Â
You had never felt so at ease with anyone before. Had never experienced such comfort and safety than in his arms. You did not need to pretend with Azriel, you did not need to hide or apologise. You just existed. And that was enough for him.Â
Because you didnât feel a change when you passed through the wall, when that creature died. You felt it when you heard something in the sky. When you heard Azriel.Â
You dared a glance at him then, at the male you were destined to be with. The one the Mother made for you. The other half of your soul. His beautiful hazel eyes stared at you with such unyielding clarity, like every ounce of pain he had ever endured was worth it. Because it brought him to this moment. To you.Â
It almost seemed too good to be true. That he was for you. That he was your fate. Yet your mind would not allow one single negative thought to grow. No seeds of doubt planted, not even one. Because your soul knew, you knew.Â
You had no fear in that moment, staring at him. For Azrielâs own eyes mirrored your every thought. For this first time in his life, he truly felt worthy. His mind did not allow his past to dictate if he deserved that happiness. His heart did not allow a beat to falter out of place. Steady, calm. Yet a storm raged in his soul. As it had done for the past eight weeks in your presence.Â
Nothing in his life had ever felt so right before. So meant to be. He damned himself a fool for his past behaviours, for ever chasing or entertaining the idea of another.Â
Azriel had never truly understood what it felt like to have a home. Not until Rhysandâs mother took him in. But even then, he felt he did not deserve such kindness, that the Mother did not grant him a home of his own for a reason.Â
He had always deemed himself unworthy, such a fragile mindset had taken over his entire life.Â
But she granted him you. A friend, a lover, a connection so strong it exceeded even his brothersâ bonds. A soul-tie. The literal missing half of him. He had felt honor many times in his life, had felt wanted and needed and appreciated.Â
But up until this moment, he had never felt worthy.Â
He did not shy from your gaze, from his family watching the scene unfold. He took a step closer as a tear slid down your warm cheek. His soul sang for yours, bellowed and beckoned and begged. Thatâs what that feeling had been. His soul had been yearning to reunite with yours the whole time.Â
âI do not know how much time youâll have if the soul-tie is not accepted.â Madja broke through the silence softly.Â
Azriel took a step closer, almost reaching you. He shook his head. âThat is not something to worry about.âÂ
Your chest ached, your throat burned. You could not look away from himâdid not want to. If you had, you wouldâve noticed the lack of your family. Would have seen them fade into the shadows with such admiration and happiness in their eyes as they left to give you both privacy.Â
Madja had remained, though neither of you offered your attention. She smiled to herself, and piled the books atop one another again. âWhen you wish to accept the soul-tie, there is a ritual you must follow. I will be happy to guide you when you are ready.â Her words were white noise in your ears as she retreated.
You were almost shrouded in darkness now, Azrielâs shadows working to cocoon you both in a haze of privacy. Words failed you, unable to conjure even a sentence. He was so beautiful, gazing at you with such longing, as if youâd singlehandedly placed the stars in the sky.Â
He was closer now, the toes of his shoes mere inches from yours. You could feel his warm breath on your face, feel a scarred hand reach to cup your jaw and his thumb brushed gently across your cheekbone. You melted into his touch, fighting to keep your eyes on him.Â
âHi,â you breathed.Â
A wide smile pulled at the corners of his full lips, a row of white teeth peeking through. Your heart trembled. This beautiful male was yours. Yours.
âYou want this?â He was not asking for clarity, no. Azriel had no doubt in his mind. But he would be damned if he did not make it clear that you still had a choice. No matter what, you would always have a choice.Â
Your head bobbed in confirmation, a smile of your own tugging at your mouth now. Azriel grinned wider, the tip of his nose bumping yours.Â
âYeah?â he asked in a whisper, and you were giddy with excitement.Â
Your eyes fluttered closed as your mouth met his. A kiss so tender and soft that your souls hummed in unity. Azriel did not need to look at you to know that flora had tangled in the strands of your hair, in the strands of his.Â
Time seemed to stand still as you kissed him. And the realisation that he would get to do this with you forever⊠Well, it was something that finally made him thankful for his step-brother's cruelty.Â
Because what a beautiful thing it was for this to be his fate.
A/N: so this is pretty much the end of the series!! It is very much open to a bonus epilogue chapter in the future that will potentially contain their soul-tie ceremony and shit loads of smut, but for now, my babies are healthy and happy!! Thank you all so much for the incredible amount of love and support you guys have shown on this series, it truly does mean so so much to me!! <3
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