I Agree With The Bite As I Am A Person Who Got Bitten By A Praying Mantis Two Times (because My Idiot

Poop, poor consulting detective... Want me to bite and poison the stairs for you, @consult-sherlockholmes? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍😌😁😉☺️🥲😳😅😭✨👉🏻👈🏻

And thank you for taking care of Sherlock for me, @consult-johnhwatson! 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍😌😁😉☺️🥳🥺🥹💯✨😭👈🏻

In case anyone claims I fell down the stairs, no I did not fall down the stairs. There is no evidence for that. I am much too agile and have too fast reflexes to do such a simple mistake as slip on the stairs.

NSFW Christmas headcannons? Love you Jas!

(Creepypasta x Headcanon) NSFW Christmas Headcanons -

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Aw, I love you too <3 

~~~

- Jeff and BEN makes a whole tray of d*ck shaped cookies, despite what Slender says about it, then they laugh whenever someone eats them. smh

- Dr.Smiley likes to watch 50 Shades of Gray with some hot chocolate while everyone is asleep or gone. If anyone catches him, he’ll threaten the Pastas to keep quiet. 

- Always on Christmas day, Smile Dog and Grinny Cat go out and try to find a mate. Their way of mating is not a pretty sight. Jeff once walked into a room with Smile Dog with another poor dog, he wishes he could unsee everything. 

- A few years ago on Christmas Eve, Sexual Offender put rose petals on Slender’s bed, thinking it was one of his victims, not his brother. Slenderman still doesn’t understand how Offender didn’t realize. 

- Toby, Jeff, BEN, & Laughing Jack always try to embarrass each other on Christmas Day with NSFW stuff. Who can get the most embarrassing dirty gift? Who can say the most embarrassing dirty thing to Slenderman without chickening out? It drives everyone up the wall, but it’s fun to hear what they have to say.

I would love to join! The cases and scientific explainations you may share might be interesting! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘😚😌☺️😁😉✨💯👉🏻👈🏻

Community

I have been notified of a new feature on this website, so I decided to make a little experiment and create a community of my own. Although I am usually not a very community-oriented person as you all know and rather a recluse, I am still ready to experiment with new features. Maybe it turns out to be useful or fun, who knows.

But anyway, if you want to join and become a part of the only consulting detective's community, you may comment on this post and I will send you an invite. For whatever reason it only works when I send an invite, which is quite tedious.

That's okay! Thanks for the tipps anyway, Doctor! ...I also think I may or may have broken my scapthoid when I was was driving around with one of those e-scooters in my human form the other day. ...And I may or may not have waited for the symptoms to becomes better when they only became worse for five weeks! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘😚😅😬🥺🙃🙂🥲🥹☺️😌✨👀💯👉🏻👈🏻

Hello doctor Watson! Just a quick question; How often should a hip normally be able to move out of socket (thanks to hip dysplsia)? 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘☺️😉😌😁😳😭😅🥺🥹😇👉🏻👈🏻

😃😧😰

If you have a diagnosis then your doctor should know severity and those questions should be directed at them. If it's a severe anomaly then there are treatment options/surgery.

It's important to talk about options with your doctor early as this is a classic condition that worsens over time, especially if you develop arthritis. Surgery is far more successful in those without arthritis in the hip.

So, please make sure to check this out with your doctor sooner rather later. As much as I'd love to help, I'm not sure I can work with such small equipment for your tiny arachnid body.

*Throws snowballs at @consult-sherlockholmes, @criminalisticonsultant and @consult-johnhwatson* SNOWBALL FIGHT!!! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😏😁🤭😋😌😉☺️🤣😂👀👉🏻👈🏻

It's about to be a white Christmas...😏

Slender Brother Headcanons

-They are German(Because the first ever ‘picture’ of Slenderman was taken in Germany). Just imagine Slenderman going off on long tangents in German when angry. -Splenderman insists on monthly picnics/outings in human form. The other three aren’t crazy about them because they’re busy and Offender thinks he’s too macho and cool but they all go anyway because they cannot say no to Splender. Mostly because Splender is bloody terrifying when mad. -Trender and Offender are twins. -Splender loves Death Metal. It pretty much shocked the living fuckery out of Offender and Trender when they walked in and discovered Splender listening to it really loud through his earplugs. Slender was just calmly-and smugly-knitting in the armchair next to him. -As different as they all are, they care about each other AND IF ANYONE TOUCHES SPLENDER THEY DIE. -Trender likes to dress the other three up. -Slender and Offender love Disney and get together weekly to watch some. Trender and Splender are just nice enough to keep their secret. (Slenders favourite is Cinderella and Offenders is Tangled) -Whenever anybody tries to bully Trender, they expect the other three Slenders to get angry but quickly find out that Trender does NOT need protection… -Only Slender is allowed Proxies. The other three would be way too stressful… -Slender. Mansion. Prank Wars. (Imagine with me, Jeff hiding under the house with a bucket over his head because Trender threw Slenders tea in a harbour somewhere and Splender made condom balloons and L.J PLEASE COME QUICK SAVE ME) -They often listen to each other’s thoughts. Except Offenders thoughts. No one wants to listen to that. No one.

(I have more! Ok, here we go~) -Most would think that Slender gets along best with Trenderman, no? Because they could both sigh and shake dissaproving heads their silly brothers but nope! Slender gets along best with Offender. They often get together to talk about their victims and Slender usually does very well with holding Offenders leash when they go out and Offender is very good at getting Slender to have a little fun. -Trender is very tolerant of his brother’s antics, so he doesn’t really mind when he goes out with his siblings and it ends up with Splender covering everything with glitter, Offender having to be restrained and Slender hiding. Mostly because Trender is a very good actor, he just pretends he doesn’t know them. -They are each from a different time(Ignoring the fact that Trender, Offender and Splender are all merrily parodies of Slenderman). -Slender does drugs sometimes(He is a very stressed man, having to make sure none if the other, more reckless Creepypasta’s aren’t caught) -Whenever a Non-Creepypasta guy attempts to hit in or flirt(Innocently or not) with a Creepypasta Girl(Jane, L.Jill, Candy Cane, Clockwork, Judge Angel, Nurse Ann, Sally…ect) Offender hates it and will always put a stop to it(Most girls get angry with him over it because MAYBE THEY WANT A BOYFRIEND or THEY CAN PROTECT THEMSELVES) and he gets absolutely furious when said Non-Creepypasta guy ever tries to hurt one of them…Whether this is because he actually has a soft spot or he see’s them all as his no one knows, they just know that Jane ain’t getting no boyfriend any time soon.

Nsfw Masky and Toby?

u//w//u

Masky

Tim prefers to be top dog in and out of the bedroom.

It helps him feel more in control of situations he normally wouldn’t have.

Even though he has a more dominant personality, he’s not much of a rough guy.

But shit, if his /o wants it rough he’ll give it to her.

He’s kind of big tbh

Run your hands through his hair, and give it a reassuring tug, please!~

He’ll melt like puddy at your touch.

And he loves it when you cover him in hickeys, love bites, and scratches.

He might admire it in the mirror afterward with a cheeky smile.

He likes missionary more just so he can feel your legs squeeze tight around him when you cum.

Oh, yeah, he’s a moaner too. Very vocal.

Mostly grunts and light growls in the act, but when he cums it’s drawn out along with each final thrust.

But he’s also open to places outside of the bedroom like couch and kitchen.

If you want a quickie he knows how to bend you over and pound relentlessly into your g-spot.

Because a quickie has to be quick, right?

He’s fantasied about spying on you masturbating before, and then you ask him to come in. It gets him off every time.

I can also see him being into cock warming when you cuddle afterward.

Which is always a must.

Masky is more rough and dominant, maybe even animalistic sometimes compared to Tim.

He’s rough, dominant, and won’t be afraid to shove your face into the pillow while pounding you.

Or spank you until your ass is red if you’ve been bad.

He’ll growl into your ear and bite at your sensitive skin.

And yes, the mask stays on.

Toby

Surprisingly a switch, it really depends on his mood.

One moment he’s happy to pin you down face down, ass up and go to pound town.

Other times he’s extremely vanilla and wants you to ride him into tomorrow until he can’t moan anymore.

His member is bigger than average, but he knows how to use it after he gets some experience.

He has a praise kink, and don’t tell me otherwise.

It doesn’t matter if he’s domming or subbing, if you praise him expect the countdown to cum to be split in half. But praising might mean he’ll start to lean towards subbing.

“Toby you’re doing so well, I can barely keep still~”

He likes to hear that he’s the one pleasuring you. That he’s making you squirm under his touch and feel wave after wave of bliss.

He’s not fond of hurting you,

But let me tell you,

This boy can fuck f a s t. His hips will meet yours at insane speeds when he’s in the zone.

Sex is passionate for Toby, and he loves when your eyes meet. He’ll also press his forehead against yours after he finishes.

Toby can literally go until his muscles give out. He doesn’t feel the pain of his muscles protesting against his actions, so he can go as long as his body allows.

Loves shower sex. It’s just so hot and steamy, and you don’t even have to move too much after you both finish bc the shower is right there.

Also, he gets to kiss your neck and wash your hair for you which is cute as hell.

He needs to cuddle afterward or else it’ll be sad boi hours.

Well, then I think it's time for you to deduce and find out! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘😄😁😆😉😌☺️🤣😂💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

... I can't even send a gif? Boooring!

Fascinating that you have been testing it.

Are you bored or are you jealous of the new case I'm working on?

I'm here! Fashionably late, but present! 🕷️❤️😘😍🥰🥹🥺🤣😂😅👀🥳😉😁😳😏🙂👉🏻👈🏻

14 tell me 14

14: Do you miss someone?

It's usually the other way around.

If you could assign the BB cast basic minimum wage jobs for this holiday season, where would they work & how long do you think they'd last before getting fired (or quitting in a blind rage)

Ciel Phantomhive = buying christmas tree decorations. He would get fired for shouting at people, from having bottled up his angry.He would last about ½ weeks at the most.

Sebastian Michaelis = christmas chef. He would quit, Sebastian would not get fired, he’s perfect. He would quit after a week.

Alois Trancy = Being in charge of a christmas bake sales. He would be fired for always shouting at the customores and using fowl language. He would last 4 days.

Claude Faustus = Cleaning up after christmas dinners. He would quit, from just getting tired of everyones bull shit. He would last 2/3 weeks.

Ronald Knox = He would be in charge of being a bar tender at a cheap bar. He would be fired, because he was caught trying to poison one of the annoying customers. He would last 6 days.

Madam Red = Wrapping gifts for charitys. She would be fired, after she started bitching at a person who demanded to have 4 gifts for her 2 kids, even tho you can only have 1 gift per child. She lasted 5 days.