A Few Variants Of Guinevere's Name And My Thoughts On Them:

“Dagonet the Fool” by Susan Spilecki

They call me "little man," "King Arthur's fool,"

And "simpleton," those lackeys at the court,

But this fool's mother had the Second Sight,

And sometimes when I caper for the king

I see more than Taliesin the bard

And Merlin the enchanter can, combined.

I stand before the dais, juggling:

The red balls first, then yellow, green and blue,

And when I add the gold and silver spheres,

The oval blur between my hands takes form.

A glowing, rainbow mirrow it becomes

Through which I see the king an older man.

His beard is shot with grey. Astride his horse

He sits up straighter than he would on land

When all the kingdom's cares, some awful guilt,

And the death of all his dreams lie on his back.

I see two rows of soldiers and a snake,

A sword unsheathed to kill it, turned on him--

I drop the balls and stammer out some jest,

A wish for pardon, while the courtiers roar.

He does not laugh. He sees my face go grey

With terror. Arthur thinks I fear his wrath.

He hands me the gold ball, rolled to his feet,

Says, "Dagonet, all people make mistakes."

He glances at his wife; she looks away.

Fool I may be, but even I can tell

There's something wrong when Guinevere looks down

Among the milling courtiers at one knight,

The tallest, bravest, handsomest in spurs:

At Lancelot, who never makes mistakes.

I scramble for the balls. He looks at me,

Then looks away, and shrugs his lion's mane.

Dismiss me as a fool, Sir Lancelot.

Better a fool in small things all my life

Than a great lord who, with one folly alone,

Casts all he loves to ruin at life's end.

Wait a minute...

Edward the Third was an Arthuriana nerd who named his son after Sir Lionel, and...

...made up a title for him, which....

...had previously existed in Arthuriana and didn't refer to a place. Coincidence?

Probably.

Well, darn. That would've been very interesting. Then again, maybe the knowledge that Edward III was such a nerd he named his son after Sir Lionel is enough to ask.

POLL 5❤️✨️🐓🌳

It's TIME FOR ANOTHER ROUND OF... Who do you think is Welsh mythology Arthuriana's most sexy man, lady, God or dubious entity (Part 5)

Notes:

Cerridwen/Taliesin: these two go hand in hand. Cerridwen is seen as the goddess of inspiration and healing who looks after the cauldron of Awen (Inspiration in Welsh). She's best known for being the mother of Morfran and Creirwy as well as for being the main instigator of the potion of inspiration debacle. Cerridwen was trying to brew it for her son, Morfran, to offset his hideousness. It didn't quite work because her servant, Gwion, accidentally splashed his finger with the hot liquid when he was stirring it and Cerridwen WENT APESHIT. Long story short she and he have a battle of sorts where they shape-shift into various animals until Gwion eventually transforms into a piece of grain and hides amongst the grain. Cerridwen, not be outdone, transforms into a hen and swallows Gwion-as grain. Nine months later she gives birth to Taliesin. She can't bring herself to kill Gwion/Taliesin so she throws the baby into a river. Happily, he gets discovered by Elffin - son of Gwyddno Garanhir - and is adopted. His name means radiant brow and he's the chief of bards. Is hot shit. He haunts me. Accompanied Arthur on his quest to Annwfn and wrote about it presumably in a fugue state.

Tristan/Esyllt: U know the drill: boy loves girl, girl loves boy, girl is given away to boy's ass-earred uncle. It all ends unhappily right? Right? WRONG!!! Esyllt and Tristan run to King Arthur after being outlaws and are like 'EXCUSE ME CAN U TELL MARCH TO S T O P?' Arthur is like 'okay one of U can have her when the trees have leaves and another can have her when they don't.' March chooses the second option cuz the nights are longer and Esyllt is like 'SUCKS TO BE U. There are three trees that are good of their kind, holly and ivy and yew, which keep their leaves as long as they live. I am Trystan's as long as he lives.' #GETREKTMARCH!!! Also, Tristan HAS INVUNERABILITY and is besties with Gwalchmai.

Finally, King Arthur. Here he is. Portrayed as both a warlord and a noble, level-headed lad in later stories Arthur is many things and one of them is Dumbo. I love him. He's a himbo. Goes on a quest and doesn't do anything, tries to kidnap a lady and his two besties have to drag him off, battles a guy (Hueil) and kills him cuz Hueil has the audacity to try and mack off with his mistress and thus incurs Gildas' wrath. Has a fuckin huge dog (Cafall) and a fuckin huge horse (Llamrei.) His wife is a giantess and Arthur recognises he's punching above his weight with her. Has Caledfwlch - his sword- and Rhongomyniad - his spear - and a fuckin boat that he loves more like his wife. He also fucks off Cai with an englyn so bad it makes me genuinely want to hit him with my shoes. Be nice, Arthur. Cai, by rights, should've lopped off his head. Is probably Wales' best boi after Cadwaladr, also has two gods in his retinue and I will take every opportunity to yell about that until I fuckin DIE.

The two with the most votes go through so vote, vote, vote!!! (Also no poll on Sunday! We chill on Sundays!)

Arthuriana ask game!!

bc why not

♘ Favourite Knight/King

🫅Favorite Lady/Damsol/Queen

💚 Favorite Quest/Story Arc

✒A Medieval Text You Like

📚A Retelling/Modern Work You Like

📽Recommend a book/movie/tv show etc

💛A Sibling Group/Dynamic That IS NOT The Orkneys

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿Okay Now You Can Talk About Orkneys

😤Your Most Specific Nitpick About Your Fave (anything from "Gareth would not have a beard" to "this is basically a different guy")

🥰An Arthuriana Headcanon

😏Gawain?

🥖Favorite French/du lac (Lancelot, Hector de Maris, Bors, Lionel, Galahad, ect)

👨‍👦Favorite Parent

🗡️Who Are You Betting On In This Month's Tournament?

🙏Pick A Grail Knight

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿Pick A Pelli Spawn (Percival, Aglovale, Tor, Lamorak, Aylane, Dindrane, Donar, ect)

💏Crack Ship (s)

🫂Platonic Ship(s)

Sir Kay is what happens when the Planeteers put together their rings without Ma-Ti

Kwame: Earth!

Wheeler: Fire!

Linka: Wind!

Gi: Water!

Kwame: Uh, didn’t we forget someone?

It is too late. They watch in confusion as a figure in antiquated armor rises from the ground.

Kay: With your powers combined, I am Sir Kay!

Linka: Who are you?

Kay: I am one who may endure Fire and Water like no other and grow as tall as the treetops.

Gi: We were trying to summon Captain Planet. Not that we’re not glad to see you. Um. Will you still fight with us?

Kay: Yes, but I will complain constantly and bully the younger ones.

Kwame: Heart. We forgot Heart. HOW ON EARTH DID WE FORGET HEART?!?

A few hours later…

Wheeler: Has it ever occurred to you that you’re a jerk?

Kay: Has it ever occurred to you that you’re me?

arthurian characters tier list... I feel like I forgot someone

(tier list here)

Hi-Lo Arthuriana

Have a high interest in Arthurian Legend but low readability?

Here's a collection of adapted or abridged books to help ease you into the literary tradition. This list is ordered from simplest to most complex, beginning with picture books and ending with "translations" of Middle English texts into modern English or abridged versions of longer texts such as the Vulgate. Books in a series are numbered.

As always, if the book is still in print, I link to the Internet Archive to read, Goodreads to learn more, or where you can purchase. Supporting living authors is very important! Otherwise, enjoy a PDF, on me, to keep the legacy of these authors alive.

Picture Books

Young Merlin (Young Series #1) by Robert D San Souci & Jamichael Henterly (1989)

Tales From the Mabinogion Gwyn Thomas, Kevin Crossley-Holland, & Margaret Jones (1992)

Sir Gawain and The Loathly Lady by Selina Hastings & Juan Wijngaard (1985)

The Quest for Olwen by Gwyn Thomas, Kevin Crossley-Holland, & Margaret Jones (1988)

The Kitchen Knight by Margaret Hodges & Trina Schart Hyman (1990)

Sir Gawain and The Green Knight by Selina Hastings & Juan Wijngaard (1991)

The Tale of Taliesin by Gwyn Thomas, Kevin Crossley-Holland, & Margaret Jones (1992)

Young Guinevere (Young Series #2) by Robert D San Souci & Jamichael Henterly (1992)

The Knight with The Lion by John Howe (1996)

Young Lancelot (Young Series #3) by Robert D San Souci & Jamichael Henterly (1996)

Young Arthur (Young Series #4) by Robert D San Souci & Jamichael Henterly (1997)

Sir Gawain and The Green Knight by Michael Morpurgo & Michael Foreman (2004)

Perceval: King Arthur's Knight of The Holy Grail by John Perkins & Gennady Spirin (2007)

Comics

Prince Valiant by Hal Foster & many others (1937-present)

Camelot 3000 by Brian Bolland and Mike W. Barr (1982-1985)

Arthur, King of Time and Space by Paul Gadzikowski (2004-2014)

Tristan & Isolde: The Warrior and The Princess by Jeff Limke (2008)

Muppets King Arthur by Paul Benjamin & Patrick Storick (2010)

Gradalis WEBTOON [carrd] by @kochei0 (2021-present)

Chivalry by Neil Gaiman & Colleen Doran (2022)

Children's Chapter Books

The Adventures of Sir Lancelot the Great (The Knights' Tales #1) by Gerald Morris (2009)

The Adventures of Sir Givret the Short (The Knights' Tales #2) by Gerald Morris (2009)

The Adventures of Sir Gawain the True (The Knights' Tales #3) by Gerald Morris (2013)

The Adventures of Sir Balin the Ill-Fated (The Knights' Tales #4) by Gerald Morris (2013)

The Legends of King Arthur: Merlin, Magic, and Dragons (#1-#10) by Tracey Mayhew (2020)

Intermediate Retellings

The Idylls of The King by Alfred Lord Tennyson (1859)

The Story of King Arthur and His Knights (#1) by Howard Pyle (1903)

The Story of the Champions of The Round Table (#2) by Howard Pyle (1905)

The Story of Sir Launcelot and His Companions (#3) by Howard Pyle (1907)

The Story of The Grail and The Passing of Arthur (#4) by Howard Pyle (1910)

Hero Myths & Legends of the British Race by M. I. Ebbutts (1910)

The Squire’s Tale (The Squire’s Tales #1) by Gerald Morris (1998)

The Squire, His Knight, and His Lady (The Squire’s Tales #2) by Gerald Morris (1999)

The Savage Damsel and The Dwarf (The Squire’s Tales #3) by Gerald Morris (2000)

Parsifal’s Page (The Squire’s Tales #4) by Gerald Morris (2001)

The Ballad of Sir Dinadan (The Squire’s Tales #5) by Gerald Morris (2003)

The Princess, The Crone, and The Dung-Cart Knight (The Squire’s Tales #6) by Gerald Morris (2004)

The Lioness and Her Knight (The Squire’s Tales #7) by Gerald Morris (2005)

The Quest of The Fair Unknown (The Squire’s Tales #8) by Gerald Morris (2006)

The Squire’s Quest (The Squire’s Tales #9) by Gerald Morris (2009)

The Legend of The King (The Squire’s Tales #10) by Gerald Morris (2010)

Abridged Medieval Literature Translations

Sir Gawain and The Green Knight (Unrepresented #1) by Jessie Weston (1889)

Tristan & Iseult (Unrepresented #2) by Jessie Weston (1899)

Guingamor, Lanval, Tyolet, Bisclaveret (Unrepresented #3) by Jessie Weston (1900)

Morien (Unrepresented #4) by Jessie Weston (1901)

Sir Cleges, Sir Libeaus Desconus (Unrepresented #5) by Jessie Weston (1902)

Sir Gawain At The Grail Castle (Unrepresented #6) by Jessie Weston (1903)

Sir Gawain & The Lady of Lys (Unrepresented #7) by Jessie Weston (1907)

The Story of Sir Galahad by Mary Blackwell Sterling & William Ernest Chapman (1908)

The Romance of King Arthur and His Knights of The Round Table by Alfred W Pollard & Arthur Rackham (1917)

Le Morte d'Arthur by Keith Baines (1962)

The Lancelot-Grail Reader by Norris J. Lacy (2000)

Lancelot and The Lord of The Distant Isles by Patricia Terry, Samuel N. Rosenberg, & Judith Jaidinger (2007)

The Wedding of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnell by David Breeden (????)

Informational Resources

Warriors of Arthur by John Matthews, Bob Stewart, & Richard Hook (1987)

The New Arthurian Encyclopedia by Norris J. Lacy (1991)

The Arthurian Companion by Phyllis Ann Karr (1997)

The Arthurian Name Dictionary by Christopher W. Bruce (1999)

if the sight of a jew doing culturally jewish things and/or practicing the religion makes a person go 🫵 POTENTIAL EVIL LYING CHILD KILLING ZIONIST, APPROACH WITH CAUTION🫵 they are already antisemitic. and it’s going to take a lot of research and self-reckoning and uhh talking to jews in good faith for them to come back from that mindset. and many won’t undergo that process because it’s uncomfortable and shame-producing. and i honestly can’t show grace to folks who have unknowingly fallen down that rabbit hole because the conflation of “jewish” with “evil and bad” has already gotten jews killed this year. and it’s gotten jews killed for thousands of years. and unless gentiles start unpacking that long-ingrained cultural assumption that Jew = Suspicious, Probably Evil, Destroy Now we’ll see more pogroms in the future.

and before you come into my mentions with “but israel,” please understand that gentiles have never needed proof to believe jews are evil and murder them. right now, antisemites are gleeful that they have a “reason” and too many of y’all are just following their lead because you refuse to engage with this information. because you’re not an antisemite, right? you just hate zionists, not jews. and you definitely know what zionism is and you definitely can surmise when zionist is being used as a dogwhistle. right! of course! there is no historical precedent that would lead me to not believe a single word you say.

so like. if you truly want to help fight antisemitism, you have to engage with these ideas even if the process is uncomfortable and shame-producing. you have to unlearn 2,000 years of lies about us and the deeply ingrained instinct to believe we are evil. idk why i’m making this post i just wish gentiles would be believe us when we say It’s Really That Fucking Dire.

Veronica Whall’s depiction of Galahad ascending, from King Arthur’s Great Halls at Tintagel

At this point, my categorized Arthurian theme song list has spiraled entirely beyond reasonable proportions. If it’s taught me anything, it’s that at least two thirds of Imagine Dragons’ songs seem like they could be about Mordred.