Something Is Wrong With Cas

Something Is Wrong With Cas

Okay before I get started I just want to say sorry for all the bad gifs and how bad I explain things. This post is going to be terrible cause I made it, but I’m trying. Anyways, now onto the point of this post.

Something is wrong with Cas. He is in a really bad headspace right now. More so than usual. He is pushing down all his feelings the worst he ever has at the moment and there are many reasons why I think this.

Reason One. His fucking species is dying out. He also probably thinks its all his fault to and is blaming it all on himself. He talks to Naomi and says that there is a way to fix this but Naomi thinks there really isn’t and tells him so. He responds with…

The look on his face and the way he says this. He looks scared and almost desperate and worried and kinda terrified all at the same time. He looks like the last little drips of hope left in him vanished right at this moment and he is trying to desperately cling to them. Naomi again with the optimistic response…

Cas’ response is even more heart breaking…

Again with those hopeless looks. The way he looks off into the distance and then at the ground in pure defeat as he says these words in a quiet gloomy voice screams no more hope here. He stopped clinging to those last bits of hope just as fast as he held on. He looks defeated and depressed and just downright exhausted. He looks like he is going to cry, but is holding all the tears in.

After this Naomi tells him that the gates of heaven are going to stay closed until they find and get a solution to the angel shortage problem. She leaves and the door closes behind her. Cas’ reaction breaks your heart even more.

He literally picks some sand up in his hands and throw it back into the sand box, but its not a lazy throw and an emotionless throw. Its full of emotion and its the only little bit of emotion he will let out. Its forced and kind of aggressive and he looks like he is holding back a lot more anger. After he throws the sand he has another heart wrenching look. He looks like he is about to cry, but just won’t let himself cause he is an honorary Winchester and that’s what they do. Repressing feelings is one of their talents. He looks like he is watching the world, his world, the world he loves so fucking much, crash down around him in chaos. In just five minutes he has learned that his fucking species is dying out and that heaven is dying with them, and quick. The place he has spent 90% of his very long life is dying and he has no clue how to save it and isn’t sure if he can. He still represses every little bit of those emotions as possible, though.

That’s not all. He doesn’t tell Sam or Dean. Fucking Dean. The one person he tells absolutely everything to. Even if it’s this personal he tells him. I believe Cas is even suicidal right now, and the last time he was feeling this way you know who he told? Dean. He told Dean. He didn’t tell Sam. He didn’t tell anyone else but Dean. He loves Dean either platonic-ally or romantically he still loves him and hasn’t told him his motherfucking species is dying out. Maybe because he thinks Dean won’t care (which is not true) because Cas thinks he is unimportant to Dean at this point or maybe because he doesn’t want to give Dean another problem to deal with. Or maybe there’s another personal reason idk. He tells Gabriel because he could be the solution to this problem, but Dean still doesn’t know.

Reason Two. Cas kills AU!Cas, but there’s something that happens to him in this moment. He has AU!Cas pinned down with an angel blade to his throat and this exchange happens…

Another heart shattering look. AU!Cas says they are the same basically saying they both hurt and torture people. Cas fucking agrees then kills him. He doesn’t just stare at him and then walk away like he usually does no he looks over his shoulder to see if anyone saw that. He looks worried and utterly terrified. Terrified that he actually is like him. Evil, kind of psychotic, hurts people for fun, is really good at hurting people, just terrible. He thinks he is this way when he isn’t and that’s unbelievably concerning. Oh and again with the not telling anyone. Except this time absolutely zero people know. He doesn’t want any one to know and also think he really is like AU!Cas. He’s scared, no, he’s terrified.

Reason Three. Everyone makes it back to the bunker and they all are celebrating and Bobby gets up to make a little speech. This part is the part I wanna talk about, though.

To Sam and Dean Winchester. What the fuck about Castiel you idjit. He helped too. Bobby only welcomes Sam and Dean into the family and only thanks them. Cas looks like he noticed and looks hurt by it.

Look at that. Another one of those looks. He looks as if a little bit more of his self value and hope slips away if possible. He looks like he is currently telling himself that he wasn’t mentioned or thanked or welcomed because he’s just not important enough. He looks as if he is trying to once again contain all his feelings so he can’t feel them and no one can see them. He’s so under appreciated its insane.

Reason Four. He was kept in Asmodeous’ prison for four episodes and the boys didn’t even notice. That probably was a giant blow to his already small ,self-esteem. He has now lost his title as father to Jack which again probably hurt like a motherfucker. That must of been like being punched in the gut a thousand times.

In conclusion Cas doesn’t seem to be doing to well. He looks even suicidal to me. I am worried to all of hell about him and just with for him to get some sort of win soon make Destiel canon you cowards . Something is wrong with Cas. He is depressed possibly suicidal and not even telling Dean about it and is repressing his emotion so bad, the worst I have ever seen him repress his feelings.

I am worried about Cas so much and don’t even get me started on the season finally coming out THIS THURSDAY!! I will now leave you to ponder this your selves

                                                                     -Muzy

Started- 10:17pm

Finished-11:18pm