If You Don’t Terrify People A Little Bit Then What’s The Point.

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one of my greatest hits, tbh

take me with you. : road trip plot where muse a and muse b are like college roommates/best friends x1000 like they practically spend every moment with each other and everything and stay up all night watching reruns of their favorite shows, sharing almost every meal bc they’re cheap like that and don’t mind, having shitty jobs with huge dreams and all that. muse a has a long distance high school sweetheart bf/gf who moved across country for school/job and when their relationship starts to strain, muse a reallllly feels strongly about driving across country to see them to try and fix things (they also might suspect the person is cheating on them). flying ain’t an option bc they’re intensely scared of being in the air & also they have no car. that’s where their partner in crime, muse b comes in. muse b has the car, soundtrack, and the navigational skills, muse a has the money, the lively company, and the snacks. they ditch classes for about a week or something and plan it out vaguely but end up just bullshitting the rest of the trip there. 

attention: this is the MEAT of the plot!!!!! they go clubbing, visit lame museums, become extras in a movie, get kicked out of zoos/parks or some shit, stay in crappy motels, get stalked by someone who muse b is convinced a total psycho, attend festivals and act like total kids, are forced to take lots and lots and LOTS of detours, end up fixing the car once or twice, go camping in an abandoned barn/middle of nowhere/other shady place, crash random weddings, get arrested, almost start the apocalypse, and so much more. 

of course tons of weird, sexual tension and maybe even some things happen on the trip that they don’t wanna speak about which kind of adds some tension there (hell tbh they might not even reach their destination and decide to turn around) BUT if they make it to where they need to go in a matter of what was supposed to be a week trip ( now probably 2 or 3), muse a goes looking for their long distance bae when they get there and then gets their heart broken while muse b is there to help pick up the pieces. and then muse b picks this time when they’re gong back home to confess how they’ve always loved muse a but the past week(s) they’ve started to really, really fall in love with them and they don’t wanna ruin what they have and blah blah. muse a is confused, vulnerable but can’t deny that they’ve always felt this stronger connection with muse b compared to everyone else in their lives. then the two of them start to figure out their lives from there and learn how to love and give and GROW and accept and celebrate and so many fluffy and angsty things. FUCK. 

bonus points if: 

it’s a f/f or m/m plot and they have to do a lot of coming out to each other and then to family and friends back home

muse a does not feel the same way when muse b confesses their love at first and they have a really big, emotional, enlightening blow-upppp

when/if they get back home, muse b’s ex comes back in their life and becomes an obstacle between them and muse a

like or reblog if you use this!

𝖉𝖔𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖊 𝖉𝖔𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖊, 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖘  — nate’s audition for macbeth.

alriiiiiiiight, so! a few ooc notes: nate loves macbeth, but i genuinely don’t think he ever really considered he was the protagonist/hero type, so that’s why he chooses to steer away from those roles. should he have given it an honest shot? i’m not sure ─  i don’t think he’ll know what to do with himself if he even got the title role, macduff, or even malcolm. frankly, i just don’t think he’d be inspired enough by them to put his all into it. anyway. enjoy! // triggers: mentions of drug use. word count: 1400+? google doc for better viewing!

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im so miserable but i laugh at everything

New year writing goals

Trying to write more often is self-care. We write because we love it. Let's not make it a chore.

There is more to writing than getting words on the page. Research, plotting, outlining, daydreaming, making moodboards... all that is writing.

Not being able to write some days is NOT failure. Breaks are essential to refill your creative energy. Maybe just listen to your writing playlist and relax a bit or read a book or watch a show that inspires you.

Word counts are not absolute. If you realize you can't achieve your word count in the set timeframe, revise it. It's NOT failure, it's being efficient and aware of your own energy.

Be kind to yourself. Not finishing your goal is okay. Just engage with your creativity. Your mental health is more important.

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the thing I can’t get over about you’re the most caring man on earth, you are the most selfless, loving human being is that the narrative really decided that yes, in fact, this deserved to be acknowledged, out loud, definitively, as an absolute truth. this singular man, out of every person in every universe, is constructed of such a deep wellspring of tenderness and love that the mere act of speaking the fact of it, with no expectation of return, could be a moment of pure happiness simply because it needed to be said. that this man who has had practically everything stolen from him, been manipulated, battered, betrayed, abandoned at every turn; who has endured and witnessed darkness that would swallow anyone else whole, who tries to mold himself to whatever others require or any situation needs, who lives with the constant weight of the evil of the world, and the impossible fight, and the mistakes, and the abuse, and the sacrifices and the catastrophic self-loathing, that he still stands there and radiates such a powerful love that it causes other beings to love the entire world through him and because of him. 

that the other emissaries of heaven were threatened because they can’t comprehend that love; that certain agents of darkness were drawn in because they’re deprived of and crave that love; that it could cause an angel to break ranks and choose him, that it would scream from his skin like a siren song, that it would keep time in his heart and measure the beats through every action. that his love is alluring and irrevocable and galaxy-defining. that this story’s God would be petty and jealous and deceiving, act as a puppet-master, and not know love at all, be an almighty moving his chess pieces dispassionately, and that even he would see Dean as nothing but a weapon, his blunt instrument to wield, and because this God can’t fathom what this one man is capable of, he fails to control him. because the rage and the loss and the responsibility was foisted upon him unfairly, was part of the plan, but the spark of his soul was not. the capacity of his love and compassionate courage is all his, is all him to the essence.

and so he’s more than everyone, even the author himself. more acutely human. more radiantly holy.

and as someone who’s argued this point for years, waxed poetic about it and wept over it and clung too closely to his character because of it, been frustrated when the narrative tried to sublimate it and yet knew it always burnished his being, hearing it spoken aloud was like exhaling and then catching your breath when you didn’t even realize you were drowning a moment earlier.

I’ve used that Siken quote (do I apologize for being that girl, that cliche? never) forever -  Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. It’s like a religion. It’s terrifying. and it his religion, his true faith, his freedom and authenticity lives in it. it’s a transcendence. it’s so big that Cas, a soldier meant only to serve that controlling, capricious God, looked at that love and saw actual divinity, and it was transformative. love is Dean’s religion - but Cas’ religion is Dean, and then the story’s underlying text is that, because it’s an act of free will, everyone else’s faith should be rooted there too. you can die for love, they all have. Dean deserves to live for it, because the world needs it and is better and more beautiful because of it.

it’s such a profound concept in the narrative and so huge and metaphorical, and such a radical departure from any stereotype that stories usually rely on for heroes like Dean, that Dean becomes something else altogether. he’s a unique being not only in his own universe, but in ours. it’s. whew. it really is the beginning and the end of everything.

boy: send nudes? ;)

me: *sends a picture of stars*

boy: um wtf is this?

me: its me. its us. its humanity, stripped. this is our true nakedness- we are painted with stars and consumed by the cosmos, only to come back again brighter than before. my heart is the sun and my soul is the void.