Coming To Terms With Your Mother's Humanity

mom can you make my favorite ramen? can we go for a walk like we use to mom? can you hold my hand again when we do? mom can you make the pain go away like you did when i was little? mom i'm sorry i'm a bad daughter. can you put oil in my hair and we can watch a movie you like? mom can we try again? i promise i'll be good this time around.

[An overpass with cars driving on it, large buildings an be seen in the distance]

relationships with your mother are so peculiar. you are everything i have, you dont know how to love me in a way that doesn't hurt. your voice soothes me and your tone scars me. we share the kitchen table while you dream about a version of myself i will never be and i read and weep about mothers hating their children.

I need you - I need you to look at me, Mom.

I need you to really look at me and see me.

Mom, I need you to see me.

[A painting of a person on the phone]

I'm sorry mom I'm still trying

My mother and I are so afraid of each other What if I become you, I shout What if you become more, She shrieks

and now that i think about it, i haven't been kind to my mother either.

truly, the art of jabbing knives is hereditary.

[a picture of a farm field, crops beginning to grow, there's a sunset behind the field]

And so, he goes back home. Home home, with his mother. He goes as if he might find an instruction manual there. It's an incurable feeling.

Your mother wouldn't approve of how my mother raised me

But I do, I finally do

Coming to terms with your mother's humanity

@death-born-aphrodite/@bitterl/Supernatural/8.46am on Instagram/Hailey Noecker/Fatima Aamer Bilal/Winterhats, literally from AO3/Mitski

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