My Cousin Would Not Sit Still For The Face So Here You Go

life can be pretty cool because we get good omens s2. but there’s also the horrors

here's a bug as compensation

as a celebration of ao3's bday i got some of the best out of context quotes from the site (I'vebeen keepingthis im my notes since 2019 so this is not at all the only ones lol) read under cut!

if you want kidneys we got so many dead bodies around here

I am going to set this school on fire!""...That's kinda hot,"

he looked like he had been caught chugging milk by the ghost of Hitler

"I think I'm balding and I'm not sure whether it's the stress or the genetic mutation.

i couldn't have a seizure, i just dont have it in me

"What more do you need?" "Proof"

CAN you beat someone to death with a paper napkin?" "I'll have fun trying."

he doesn’t think that killing himself counts as suicide, at the very least.

“Uh,” he says, intelligently“What took you so long?

“Motherfucker broke my arm

Why do you have contacts in the Italian mafia?” “Why don’t you? They have really good food.”

Pardon my language, sir, but are you fucking kidding me

it was probably best if the media didn’t know their biggest lead on the case was human experimentation.

in the eyes of the law I'm a useless rug.

“Are you ok?” he gave her a shaky smile, then promptly passed out.

AND NOW the tags

I respect women so much i don't even go near them

wanna see how a icecream shop starts the next war?

two four six eight who do we appreciate?Not the government!

how long do we have to wait to joke about traumatic experiences?

That could potentially be a health concern… but hey, why worry about things like that?

I look like a hobo and have the personality of decaf coffee.Try and call me out like that. Little shit. I know you read Twilight . Fight me.

Cross my heart and hope, hope, hope to die

i was very confused and upset when i found out about heterosexualsthe

future is meaningless but pasta is now

Everytime i do that, i swear to myself i would never do it again, and yet here i am. Doing it

If i didn't know i was the best, i might be tempted to think i am an idiot

On top of all that the fucker couldn’t breathe right.

when you start to die...don't

Why weren’t words working the way they were supposed to?

there is no point in holding in my rage, since it may as well be everyone’s problem

yeah cus he'll just say "wait and see ;)"

we ask for breadcrumbs because a birthday cake is way to ambitious

Hello Neil Gaiman :D

After watching Good Omens just about 20 times all the way through there's still a question that sticks with me every time I watch episode 6.

When Crowley (in Aziraphale's body) and Aziraphale (in Crowley's body) buy ice cream are they eating the flavour of ice cream they themselves like to eat or are they eating the flavour of ice cream the other would want to eat because they are in each others body and want to keep up appearances?

(hope that wasn't too wordy anyway have wonderful day!)

It's very hard to keep count of the questions that come in here, but I think that must be the most-asked question. Certainly it's in the top three.

I love that it's the thing people wonder about the most.

have you tried to use youtube without an adblocker recently? i guarantee you’ll be leaving bombs and spraying question marks around the city like the riddler

all I want is to be cunty but I'm too afraid. I'm in my twenties and I'm too afraid to serve

oh..............

CAN I HEAR A WAHOO MADAFAKAS!!!

tell me where tf my grandmother found raunchy furry art of a springbok and decided the family gc was the best place for it