Sunny-downpour - Books, Bands And Bad Decissions

all these unfunny jokes about how german is such a hard and awful language >:(

well, can your language do this?

Laurent of Vere be like

(Seriously we need more art of Laurent in this pose👀)

~✧°+* 30/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

02.09.2023

It's Simba's birthday!!

The girl, the queen, the goddess turned 6 today! She greatly enjoyed her birthday egg.

Other than that, it was a very slow day. Did some paperwork and organizational stuff.

I also finally got Lakeburg Legacies!! I've been waiting for this game for forever. I came out a few months ago but I finally had the funds to afford it now :D

Positive things I did today:

did the laundry

cooked dinner

played a boardgame with my siblings

did some admin work

Hours slept:  ~8hrs 30mins Screentime: ~6hrs 45mins Steps taken: ~500

~✧°+* 1/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

27.07.2023

It's been very rainy and quite cold for the season here and the drastic change in weather (it was incredibly hot and humid before temperatures dropped) really affects me. I've been sleeping a lot more than usual which makes being productive difficult.

I try not to beat myself up about not getting things done easiely; or not getting things done at all. Instead, I take breaks when I feel like I need them and try getting back to work once I've had a little rest. And that seems to be working (somewhat).

I got a history exam this coming monday which I've barely done anything for. It's open book, so I hope it'll go alright reagrdless but I'll still try to revise all the slides over the weekend.

Positive things I did today:

did the dishes first thing in the morning

finished work for my professor

started revising history of witch hunts notes

went grocery shopping

kept the duolingo Spanish streak going

enjoyed an iced coffee while playing some animal crossing new horizons

Hours slept: ~9hrs 30min

Screentime: 6hrs 10min

Steps taken: ~4.800

imagine if you (a neurodivergent) joined a band and then tried to keep it going and made mistakes along the way but generally stayed positive and created a safe space for a ton of people and helped create and perform amazing music and kept with it through breakups and splits and of course you weren’t by any means perfect but then you got older and finally produced another album but it wasn’t what your “fans” were expecting, even though you were really just pursuing a passion and writing songs and you don’t owe anything to the world, but these people still absolutely slandered it to the point that you gave up because that’s what these people who once upon a time adored you now wanted. imagine how broken you would feel

~✧°+* 28 & 29/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

31.08.2023 & 01.09.2023

The essay is done! I handed it in Thursday night and while it for sure wasn't my best work (the first 5 pages were alright, then it went downhill a lot) I am glad to have it off my desk. I don't care too mugh about the grade either, or at least I'm trying not to. It's for a module in which I already have one very good grade and the Hamilton grade will just be added on. So even if I don't do well, the final module grade should turn out alright.

Taking my meds again also helped getting being sick back in check. I'm not feeling great yet, but we are getting there! Nothing comparable to two days ago.

On Friday I didn't do much. I played Sims (got the new Sims 4 Growing Together expansion, which I really enjoy) and spent some time with family. I'll be taking the weekend off and get back to studying on Monday!

I also got the worst haircut I've had in years. I was really bummed about it, but I'm hoping it'll grow on me with time.

Positive things I did these past days:

finished the Hamilton essay

spent time with family

got a haircut

rested

Hours slept:  ~7hrs 45mins & ~7hrs Screentime: ~3hrs 15mins & ~7hrs Steps taken: ~600 & ~1.200

~✧°+* 41/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

13.09.2023

I had one of the most stressful e-mail exchanges ever today. It was with a professor of mine (the dean of the English department and therefore also technically my boss) and it was... a truly surreal experience. It was basically just both of us trying to be as polite as possible which, in the end, lead us to basically get nowhere with that conversation. It was so strange it was funny, but I hope something like that never happens to me again :')

Other than that my day was mainly filled with chores. Sadly, I still haven't managed to fully get back to my academic tasks. I want to but I just can't concentrate. On Sunday I'll be going back to my appartment and things should improve from there! Next weekend will also be super packed (more birthdays and plans with friends), which gives me a nice, gentle personal deadline.

Positive things I did that day:

did two loads of laundry

went grocery shopping

fed the pets

cooked lunch for the family

started doing some paper work

watched 2 episodes of the Netflix show Liebes Kind (very good so far!)

Hours slept: ~ 8hrs 30mins Screentime: ~7hrs Steps taken: ~1.000

an incomplete list of unsettling short stories I read in textbooks

the scarlet ibis

marigolds

the diamond necklace

the monkey’s paw

the open boat

the lady and the tiger

the minister’s black veil

an occurrence at owl creek bridge

a rose for emily

(I found that one by googling “short story corpse in the house,” first result)

the cask of amontillado

the yellow wallpaper

the most dangerous game

a good man is hard to find

some are well-known, some obscure, some I enjoy as an adult, all made me uncomfortable between the ages of 11-15

add your own weird shit, I wanna be literary and disturbed

Aurora's concert in Madrid was amazing!!! Seeing her live has changed my life. Listening to her powerful and lovely voice, seeing her making eye contact with me... I'm just grateful to be alive

~✧°+* 33/100 days of doing better*+°✧~

05.09.2023

(this post is written several days in retrospect)

Whenever I visit my family for longer periods of time it's usually around bigger events. Christmas, Easter, birthdays. This time around it's my sibling's birthday and an air of planning, organizing and setting things up in advance controls my day. In all actuality, it has more of an indirect effect on me. I think what I'm experiencing is called waiting mode? This state your in when you have something planned later in the day and can't do anything in the morning because of it. That's what I'm going through at the moment, just that what I'm wating for is days ahead.

Positive things I did today:

put some things up on ebay

did the laundry

Hours slept:  ~9hrs Screentime: ~6hrs 30mins Steps taken: ~700