I Can’t Deny These Tag Team Episodes Are Fucking Fun As Fuck. Seeing Yami And Kaiba Go Off On Each

I can’t deny these tag team episodes are fucking fun as fuck. Seeing Yami and Kaiba go off on each other is hilarious. Their facial expressions makes it too~!

Episode 71, part 1, this is the worst double-date I’ve ever seen!

It is also the worst double-date Yami and Seto have ever been on. I don’t think the fact that it’s the only double-date they’ve ever been on OR the fact that it’s not actually a date would prevent either of them from characterising it as “the worst double-date I’ve ever been on”, I mean, look:

That mutual awkward boredom in both their expressions is the very essence of terrible double-dates.

And then there’s these assholes.

Yeah.

So, Yami and Seto have been forced - by a string of embarrassingly overwrought and ostentatious kidnappings - to duel Tol and Smol Ghoul on top of this incredibly high skyscraper. When someone hits 0 LP, a BOMB explodes the glass under their feet, sending them hurtling down the centre of the architecturally-impressive skyscraper to their presumed deaths. Why not just use the bomb to kill them? That would be TOO FOOLPROOF.

(I’m pretty sure Kaiba’s the only one in actual danger of dying though, since the Ghouls - spoiler alert - have an escape built in, and Yami’s Puzzle is supposed to protect him from cowardly attempts on his life. So yeah, Kaiba’s the only one. Although, that presumes that he is not able to use that ridiculous coat as a parachute, and that is obviously a very flawed presumption.)

The Ghouls - you’ll never guess this - have a THEME to their deck that matches their villain personas, and their theme is masks. Janky, janky masks…

THIS mask has bolts for eyes, which is a marginal improvement on having arms for eyes, but still lags way behind having eyes for eyes, in the eye department. It prevents Yami’s Mr Magnet (not real name) from being able to attack OR defend AND it deals 500 points of damage to Yami every turn, because it is broken.

Yami’s observing their strategy…

(Light guy is Smol) The Ghouls are playing a tight team game, where Smol plays buffs and traps and shit and Tol plays mostly monsters.

Yami can’t use Mr Masked Magnet to attack or defend, but Kaiba thinks that if he sacrifices it….

Yami, meanwhile, thinks “I have a bad feeling about this” but, if there’s one thing Yami’s better at than overdramatic posing while dueling, it’s figuring out there’s a trap and deciding the best way to deal with it is to immediately trigger it on himself, and he is REALLY good at overdramatic posing while dueling.

SO good, his jacket pales into a white sleeveless cape in shock

also #figureskatingau

Sadly, he’s also very good at triggering traps…

And obviously smarmy sausage-finger fuck-face Smol Ghoul is all “oh you ~fell for it~” like, STFU asshole, there are only like four ways to summon things in the game and sacrificing is maybe the most common, it’s not ~falling for~ your super ~cunning trap~ to just … play the fuckin game…

But yes…

… due to the effects of another very overpowered mask-themed card, Yami and Seto can no longer use sacrifices, which basically means they can’t summon any decent monsters.

They’re in a tight spot, and Yami makes his boldest move yet: attempting to reason with Seto Fucking Kaiba.

In this moment, it’s clear that Kaiba and Yami share a bond that transcends 3000 years, 9000 kilometres, and Kaiba’s own alarmingly constipated emotional defensiveness, because they understand each other perfectly.

Sadly, in the moment immediately following, it’s clear that Kaiba is an angry, emotionally constipated asshole.

SO CRANKY

SO POUTY

Okay so, Kaiba’s abysmal people-skills aside, Tol Ghoul goes to attack Kaiba and Kaiba’s in peak sass form today.

And Yami is in peak ADORABLE SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIEND FORM

ahhhhhh he’s so fuckin cute!

Especially since the Japanese for “alright!” sounds like “YUS!”

So Kaiba triggers a trap of his own, the Grenade Necklace (not real name)

Grim.

“Both players” in this case referring to opposite players, in the tag duel, so both Kaiba and Tol Ghoul.

But!

(I like the eye-segments!)

Smol Ghoul changes the target of Kaiba’s trap to affect Kaiba’s Monster instead, and Yami realises neither of the Ghouls seem to care that Tol Ghoul is open to damage from the trap either way so he tries to warn Seto…

And Seto TAKES TIME OUT OF HIS TURN to be a jerk about it.

Seto Kaiba has less than no chill.

Does this look like the face of a man with any chill?

>:D

Kaiba’s terrifying grin is quickly wiped off his face however, as Yami is proven correct…

… Tol Ghoul uses a magic card to swipe Kaiba’s own Trap Protection Flower (not real name).

So Kaiba takes the damage from and loses a monster to his own trap…

“Well, would you look at the time, it’s fuck this o clock.”

…and Tol Ghoul follows up with an attack aimed directly at the now-defenceless Kaiba, with easily enough firepower to wipe out his lifepoints and send him falling through the ceiling with only his parachute-sized coat to save him.

… This really doesn’t seem like the best way to kill a man you need to immediately take a trading card from post-defeat (remember their primary goal with Kaiba is get Obelisk) but OKAY.

Tol Ghoul launches his attack…

And Kaiba stares it down, presumably reevalutating his choices since Yami’s his only chance to avoid death and he literally just got done explicitly telling Yami to mind his own damn business

IS Kaiba finally about to die due to his own rudeness? DOES Kaiba even care or is he like “worth it”? WILL Yami be the bigger (smaller) man and bail him out? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON PHARAOHSPARKLEFISTS WATCHES YGO