Can We Stop Acting Like Two People Deeply Loving Each Other Has To Mean They Have Something Romantic

Can we stop acting like two people deeply loving each other has to mean they have something romantic or sexual going on? Can we stop talking as if platonic love just can't be that deep? Because that's not true. Platonic love can be just as deep, and sometimes even deeper, than romantic love. What I'm saying is, we need to stop putting romance on this pedestal and act like every other form of love is less important.

How to Write Strong Female Characters

Even if you write female protagonists all the time, subconscious biases can make them weaker than we intend. How can you make sure you write strong female characters? Use these tips while cretating your protagonists and supporting cast members so readers admire and connect with your story.

Note: This article is about writing cisgender characters and the stereotypes regarding them. To read more about writing incredible trans women characters, this post and this article are some great jumping-off points. A future post from me about writing trans protagonists will give the subject the space and time trans characters deserve.

1. Write Human Flaws

Women are often written as perfect or near-perfect characters. People expect so much of women in the real world—we want them to be attentive, fun mothers while being sexy spouses and respectful daughters. They have to succeed in their careers to provide for themselves and their family, all while fitting within the feminized constructs that make toxic male egos feel safe around women.

Basically, it can make writers create essentially perfect female protagonists. They handle everything well and when they can’t, they always find an answer to their problem.

Readers will connect more with female protagonists who are flawed. Your female protagonist should get angry, say the wrong things, make bad choices, and put herself first sometimes.

2. Avoid Objectification

Objectification is anything that makes a person feel less than fully human. It’s the scenes we’ve all read and movies we’ve watched where the female protagonist does something incredible—they save the world or take down a supervillain—and their partner, stunned in a love haze, says, “God, you’re beautiful,” before they kiss.

Complimenting female characters like this after they reach their resolution belittles their achievements. It means that even with their brilliance and courage, they’re still acceptable because they’re beautiful. Their beauty is ultimately the most important thing about her and the best way to remind her of her worth.

Other forms of objectification can sneak past a writer’s mind. Watch for these stereotypes as you work through your initial draft:

Describing her body parts as she gazes in the mirror

Saying she’s “different,” “odd,” or “unique” because she does a stereotypically male hobby or wears clothes that aren’t feminizing

Mentioning body parts in comparison to food

Making female characters manipulative for the sake of tricking people and not for any character growth goal/antagonist priority

Creating moments of immaturity that are seen as sexy (like whining being cute or pouting being hot)

3. Assign Individual Goals

Women are often written as self-sacrificing characters. They give up their time and energy for other characters because it’s what people expect of women in real life. Strong female protagonists need goals for themselves. If they don’t have an individual dream that makes them fulfilled or excited, they’ll swim through your plot exclusively for other characters’ arcs.

4. Watch for Female Cliches

Female characters often fit into specific cliches that are easily digestible for readers with conscious or subconscious sexist views. See if your characters fit into some of these common cliches to add the right flaws or arcs to make them fully human:

A symbol of purity: this protagonist never makes mistakes, is always sweet, and doesn’t have any sexual desires.

Femme fatale: this protagonist fills every room with sexual energy, only wears revealing clothes, and kicks ass with unearthly sexy grace.

A heartless bitch: this protagonist is always miserable for other characters to be around for no explainable reason, snaps at everyone, and basically takes on the role of a gradeschool bully at any age.

A pixie dream girl: this protagonist has no goals or arc of her own, exists to inspire other (mostly male) characters, and functions primarily as a plot device.

A Mary Sue: this protagonist can do nothing wrong and solves problems that she’s unqualified to do (minor example: Anastasia Steele in 50 Shades of Grey running a publishing business fresh out of college, where she didn’t study as a business major).

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Writing great female characters isn’t impossible. You only have to be aware of how those characters have been written poorly in the past. Watch for cliches and learn about examples of characters gone wrong to make your protagonists feel authentic, no matter what your plot has in store for them.

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sun-rush

1 year ago

I am a big fan of platonic expressions of love, as there are very few things that make me feel happier than when I am with my friends. I also like thinking, and so I have put my thoughts into words.

I am easily taken over by the devotion that I feel towards the people I love.

I want to give all of myself to the little family that we’ve made together, the one not sharing the blood that I have, but the one that has come together to be what it is now.

Occasionally I am afraid that they do not see me like this. I feel as though I may come off as too strong at times, and I don’t want them to see me in that light. I want to spend the rest of my life with them because I love them. I love being near them. I love being their family. I love devoting my whole world to them and our future.

Perhaps I am too wishful? I don't want to be. I want this to not be a dream. I want to make it real, and I can with time and hard work. I can carve out a future for us if they will let me.

I cannot let myself fear a future without them by my side, so I put myself in the present, and I see them and I know that they are there and real. I sit there with the little family that I helped create, and I let myself know that fear will not stop me.

I will take the future and make it into another day's present.

how to grow the fuck up

Now, let’s hop into making it lively, shall we?

1) PUNCTUATION

Commas and punctuation are your best friends! Use them. Use the crap out of them. Many people will say commas can’t go here and they can’t go there, but I say, in dialogue, it doesn’t matter. If you want your character to pause but you don’t want to use an ellipsis because it feels too long, use a comma. Put them wherever you want. Wherever your character pauses. If your character is rambling or talking really fast, take them out. It’s your dialogue. Use any and all punctuation to bedazzle up your lines. There is never too many or too little of anything if you want it that way, folks.

Keep in mind, punctuation can change the whole feeling of your sentence and the way your readers imagine your character talking. For example, your punctuation should differ between an excited and a sad line.

Here is the example sentence, punctuated in two different ways. “I know it’s real, I saw it!” Nico said. “I know it’s real… I saw it,” Nico said.

Can you see how just the change in punctuation changes the way you imagine him saying it? Really hone in on how your character is speaking and punctuate it to show that. (Keep in mind that this is your story and your character. You don’t have to obey punctuation rules and writing stereotypes, your story obeys you.) Put whatever punctuation you want there. Use thirty commas in your sentence. Use an ellipsis after every word. If it makes your character sound how you want them to sound, go for it, friends!

2) ITALICS

Some people hate reading over-italicized works, but that’s their own preference. Italics is a great way to add interest, movement, and a characters natural inflection into your dialogue. (I freaking love italics.) Italics helps readers understand what the character is focused on, and how they’re speaking. Again, people will say not to use it too much or only to use it so many times in a paragraph… but the key here is still to write it how you like it. Italics can make your sentences sound more human and more authentic.

Here is our pair of examples, now with punctuation and italics. “I know it’s real, I saw it!” Nico said. “I know it’s real… I saw it,” Nico said.

Take a minute and read through the example dialogue, imagining each word italicized one by one. Pay attention to the meaning and context it gives it. (For example, if the ‘I’ at the beginning is in italics — I know it’s real — that could imply that he’s talking to someone who doesn’t know or believe whatever he’s talking about is real.)

3) DIALOGUE TAGS

Tags. Tags, tags, tags! Tags are so important! Tags are brilliant for clarifying and identifying exactly how your character is speaking and how they intend for the statement to come across. If you ignore every other tip in this post, don’t ignore the tag! There are so many different words you could use instead of said that give life and context to your lines. Muttered, mumbled, yelled, shouted, exclaimed, whined, groaned, whispered, and a ton ton ton more. Use these to your advantage, like an outline for your dialogue. The tag is undoubtedly the easiest way to make your lines come across the way you want them to.

Here’s the examples with different tags! “I know it’s real, I saw it!” Nico defended. “I know it’s real… I saw it,” Nico mumbled.

Don’t be afraid to move your tag around, either! Sometimes, in order to make your conversations less repetitive, moving your tags are nice. You can put them at the beginning, middle, or end! (Middle tags are my favorite, I use them a whole, whole lot…)

Here’s the example sentence with a tag at the beginning and middle. Nico growled: “I know it’s real, I saw it!” “I know it’s real…” Nico muttered. “I saw it.”

Don’t forget, tags don’t always have to be how they’re speaking. It can also be what they’re doing or how they’re acting, which can be just as telling as other tags. (I use action tags sooooooo much. Action tags in the middle of dialogue is my jam.)

The example sentences with action tags: Nico crossed his arms, huffing deeply. “I know it’s real, I saw it!” “I know it’s real…” Nico averted his gaze, staring down at his shoes instead. “I saw it.”

Or, you can mix them both! An action tag plus how they’re speaking for maximum impact and description.

Here’s the example sentence with both! Nico rolled his eyes, hissing: “I know it’s real, I saw it!” “I know it’s real…” Nico uttered, poorly stifling a shudder. “I saw it.”

4) DESCRIPTION

Describing the way your character looks, moves, speaks, etc etc before and after the line can further help your readers know how they feel about what they’re saying. This is especially important if the character is not the main character and doesn’t have internal dialogue. Body language can explain things voices can’t or won’t. You can explore putting these descriptions before the line, after the line, in the tag, or after the tag. Whatever you prefer!

Here’s the sentence with descriptive sentences with it. I did one before the line & tag and one in the middle! He was practically fuming, his eyebrows knitted so closely together they looked like a single strip of hair. His eyes were flicking between his friends like he was trying to determine if they were joking, blue irises blurred with a rage-fueled haze. Nico finally rolled his eyes, hissing: “I know it’s real, I saw it!” “I know it’s real…” Nico uttered, poorly stifling a shudder. His eyes never left the floor, and he looked smaller, younger as he spoke. His breaths weren’t exactly even, but they weren’t too quick, either. “I saw it.”

Look at those two very different scenarios we got out of the same base line! This is the power you hold, folks, the power to un-bland your dialogue and make it into something intense and memorable for your readers! The power to make it portray exactly what you want it to portray! No more worrying how your readers took that line, because you set in stone how it was presented.

Remember, making a paragraph like that for every line might get tiring or repetitive to read. Sometimes tags alone are good enough in fast-paced or long conversations, and sometimes, if the dialogue makes it clear who is speaking, the line can suffice by itself!

If you have any writing tip requests, drop them in my inbox!

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