*Dismissing Cicero*

““i could just listen to ranboo talk all fucking day””

— wilbur soot the beloved

Sam: So, I have to go to the eye doctor this week.

Jack: Yes, you need to get your vision orbs checked.

Sam: Ah... yes. My vision orbs..

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

Void Stiles: We could work in some of the ideas I've been suggesting?

Derek: Those aren't ideas as much as they are random acts of violence.

The Doctor: *exists*

The Master every few centuries: I want to crawl inside your body.

God I need Crystal's wardrobe.

Stiles: *pokes Theo*

Theo: do you want to die

Stiles:

Stiles: kinda idk lol

Theo: stiles, we talked about this-

… Are you having fun there, Cicero

Incorrect Quotes 4

Chuck: okay, who broke this

Michael: Gabriel

Lucifer: Gabriel

Gabriel: Gabriel

Chuck:

Gabriel: fuck

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Gabriel: how sad

Lucifer: are you okay?

Gabriel: I wanted to take Sam out for dinner but I don't have any money

Lucifer: no problem bro, We're best bros right? I'll take out your boyfriend for ya

Gabriel: really?! Thanks Luci

Lucifer: That's what bros do

[Later]

Gabriel:

Gabriel: wait a damn minute

---------------------------------------------

Jack: Dean I need help with my new poetry course! Can you tell me one rhyme quickly?

Dean: let's see...

Dean: roses are red, I ate a burrito, poetry has no sense, Despacito

Jack: why are you like this?

------------------------------------------------

Charlie: you know we can find and follow phones by the GPS right?

Dean: wha- really?

Cas: don't worry I know you stop in the donut shop when you go for a walk

Dean:

Dean: I don't even go walking... I go by car

----------------------------------------

Jack: everyday I take one dollar from Dean's wallet

Jack: I've been doing this for three years

Jack: now I have more than 1000$

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Cas similing:

Dean: I'm gonna punch him in the face

Sam: what the hell, why?

Dean: he is very cute and his smile is brighter than the sun

Dean: I'm gonna hit him

Sam: or maybe you can confess your feelings to him...

Dean:

Dean: no.

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Cas: the food is too hot. I can't eat this

Dean: you're too hot but I still eat you

Sam: ONE DINNER, GUYS. I JUST WANTED ONE. FUCKING. DINNER.

--------------------------------------------

[texting]

Dean: hi

Castiel: hello

Dean: hola

Casyiel: come eat ass

Castiel: NO

Castiel: estas***

Dean: HAHAHAHHAHA THAT'S IT I'M DONE

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Sam: Hay can you move away from me? I'm claustrophobic

Gabriel: what does claustrophobic mean?

Dean: it means he's afraid of Santa Claus

Sam: no, you idiot

Gabriel: OH OH OH

Castiel: STOP IT GABRIEL YOU'RE SCARING HIM

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Castiel: how do you feel?

Dean: I do not

i want tapl on the dsmp, but instead of as a regular character, i want him as a god. but unlike dreamxd, i would like to see him taunting the other characters to go to the end (more specifically ranboo)

just imagine this 13ft tall deity with an enchanted netherite hoe, giving eyes of ender to the local enderman hybrid and saying “don't you want to see where you came from? don't you want to see where this world begins and ends? don't you want to find new ways to protect your family?”