Beast!dazai Is Our Silly Guy But He’s Sadder :( I’d Like To Barge In His Office While He’s Working

How about fem Dazai 15 in this?!

cute

i am aware of the problems. however. i would rather be comfy in my bed. good night.

i think user @stuffeddeer likes dazai

giggling kicking my feetsies fluttering my lashes twirling my hair what gave it away

Dazai's playful grin falters as you chastise him once more, the words punctuated with his name. His last name, once again.

"Why don't you ever call me by my first name?"

Your playful attitude freezes at his question, your fake pout dropping as you turn slack jawed. "W-what?" A stutter passes through your lips as you just continue to stare.

"We've been dating for a few months now, and you never call me by my name." He plays off his words as a joke, something to fluster you, but with the way his fingers slightly pinch and pull at the edges of his bandages, you can tell he's being vulnerable.

An embarrassed blush decorates your face as you just continue to stare at him.

"I'd like it if you'd call me by my name, love." His flirting isn't helpful. From vulnerable fidgets to a cocky grin, Dazai (for once) inaccurately pegs your blush as a flustered reaction, likely feeling shy at the notion he'd now mentioned.

Inaccurate, because it wasn't a matter of not feeling ready, or close enough, but rather because-

"...What's your first name..?"

-you'd forgotten.

Dazai's eyes widen in a rare expression of genuine shock, his movements pausing at your timid question. The embarrassed blush decorating your face that had briefly fooled Dazai only began to grow.

You bury your face in the palms of your hands and let out a groan as Dazai begins laughing: a genuine, gut laugh that you rarely got to hear.

"It's Osamu," he says politely, not wanting to make you any more embarrassed. As you look up from the palms of your hands, you notice Osamu's soft expression and let out a sigh of relief.

You grin. "Nice to meet you, Osamu."

jinshi..... you get it.....

LMAOOO i try 🙂‍↕️

thinking about extremely whipped and easily jealous pm dazai with a big crush on reader who keeps talking to chuuya. he assumes this means they have something that he and reader doesn’t have and gets sad about it. he goes to the bar just to vent about it to chuuya who spits his wine everywhere and tells him how stupid be is because y/n likes HIM more than any other person

extremely whipped dazai… anon you’re speaking my language

Dazai had been drinking more than usual, Chuuya had quickly noticed. While the two were quick to claim that they aren’t friends, it was common to see them sitting next to each other after a particularly long day sharing a bottle of wine and venting. Today was no different, the men relaxing in the ginger’s office on his expensive leather chairs, crowding around his desk. The bandaged man poured himself another heavy glass of the bottle Chuuya had been saving for a while, causing him to grumble under his breath.

“I dunno why you’re so angry…”

The short man scoffed at that, deciding to top off his glass as well while he spoke. “You purposely picked the bottle I was savin’,” reddened cheeks give away his slipping sobriety, “Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

“Wasn’t tryna hide it,” Dazai had let out a scoff of his own, chin resting on the hard wood of Chuuya’s work desk. He glared down at the many signed documents, huffing angrily at the signatures of his rival. “You owe me this, at least.”

Chuuya’s eyebrows furrowed pensively. Owed Dazai for what? “I don’t remember makin’ a bet with ya…”

“Not a bet,” Dazai let out a frustrated sigh. “Listen, you owe me.”

“And I’m askin’ for what!” Chuuya’s hat slipped off of his head as he stood up suddenly, the wine in his glass sloshing as he glared down at the usually-taller brunet.

Dazai chugged the rest of his glass. He’d never been a wine-guy, much preferring a nice scotch to Chuuya’s choice of alcohol, so he stuck out his tongue in distaste after the liquid passed his throat. The sight of Dazai’s disgust made Chuuya grit his teeth. If he doesn’t like it, then he should drink something else!

The two were completely plastered. With Chuuya being a lightweight and Dazai finishing off a few bottles on his own, it was destined to happen at some point. Because of their inebriated states, the shorter of the two misheard what Dazai had poorly slurred out after downing his drink. “One more time?” He asked, still unsure what made Dazai so angry with him.

Dazai’s cheeks flushed pink, and not just from the alcohol. How dare this slug make him repeat himself? “You heard me!”

“Did you say— “

“Yes!”

Chuuya’s mouth opened to an understanding o-shape: so he had said your name. “Okay, but, why do I owe you my expensive wines?”

Dazai grabbed the neck of the wine bottle before standing up himself, towering over the ginger. “Whatever! I don’t even wanna be here!”

“I’m not kicking you out, you moron! Just don’t know why you’re actin’ like this!” His hand reached out to grab Dazai’s shoulder, stopping him from leaving.

“You’re pulling them away from me,” he turned to Chuuya with a pout. “You two are always together acting all buddy-buddy. What do you have that I don’t? Why don’t they like me?”

Glass shattered on Chuuya’s nicely wooden office floor, swearing to himself as the wine within the glass splashed up on his shoes and the legs of his nice desk chair. He was too drunk to be embarrassed over dropping his drink, still shocked someone so smart could be so stupid. “D-Dazai, you’re a moron!” He sputters out, jumping away quickly to grab a broom.

“Yeah,” Dazai sits back on his seat with a sad and defeated smile. “I guess I am a moron.” He takes a big swig from the expensive bottle, finishing off the last few drops. The bandaged man’s eyes closed, letting the now empty bottle fall from his hand and onto his lap.

He barely notices Chuuya kneel back down by the desk, gently using a towel to suck up all the wine in between the broken glass pieces. Just as he begins to brush the shards to the side (he’d clean up properly tomorrow), he looked over to see Dazai’s somber look.

“I know what you’re thinkin’,” Chuuya sighs. “I’m not sayin’ you’re a moron for thinking you have a chance with them. You’re a moron for thinking I do.”

Dazai rolls his eyes. The last thing he wanted was Chuuya’s pity. “Hey,” he grabbed the empty bottle again, shaking it in front of the ginger’s face. “We’re outta wine.”

“We?” He scoffed in reply before continuing. “I’m bein’ serious, Dazai. They’re pretty much in love with you. We talk a lot because they’re nervous you’re gonna figure out their secret. Always tellin’ me about how perceptive and smart you are… Makes me sick, honestly.”

No one knows Dazai as well as Chuuya, and same with the inverse. Dazai knew Chuuya wouldn’t lie about something like this to him, especially after recognizing that he was being vulnerable for a tiny moment. Realiing this, Dazai’s heart fluttered. He turned to look at his rival with a glimmer of hope in his eyes, not saying a word as he silently pleaded for Chuuya to be telling the truth.

“Stop lookin’ at me like that, mackerel. They like you. Dunno why, but it’s true.”

Fumbling with his discarded coat, Dazai stands up abruptly. The wine bottle tumbles towards the floor, causing to Chuuya to panic and quickly catch it. “I need to see them!”

“Sit down, asshole!” He gently puts the empty bottle on his desk, letting out a huff of annoyance. “You’re shitfaced, y’know. Sober up. Talk to ‘em tomorrow.”

Dazai’s heart was beating out of his chest. How could he wait until tomorrow to talk with you? All he wanted in that moment was to hold you close - feel the warmth of your skin, bury his face into the crook of your neck, tell you how much you mean to him and how much you are his…

“Hey, drink some water, ‘kay? Whatever you’re thinking, remember they’re probably asleep right now.”

He groaned in annoyance. What does chibi know, anyway? Chin resting against the wooden desk once more, Dazai’s eyes shut in defeat. “Okay…

“...do they really like me?” He opened one eye for a moment, gazing over once again to see if Chuuya was being honest.

“More than they’ve ever liked anyone, apparently.”

A big grin pulled at his lips once Chuuya spoke, smile barely contained as his non-bandaged eye shut again.

Nikolai Gogol asks you to stay. You agree.

This is part of a series of standalone works about Nikolai Gogol. The rest can be found here including content warnings for each separate part.

general cw: yandere tendencies (possessiveness, manipulation...), very toxic, could be dubcon?, he deffo doesn't ask you to stay he more just tells you to, sorry! "agree" cw: above, he's the best here probably, you might be into it a bit more here oops mb

Pinned down onto Nikolai's couch, he sinks his teeth into you again and again, littering your skin with harsh bruises as he marks up your neck.

"Don't leave," he nearly growls, pressing gentle kisses over the bites.

You shift underneath him, shying away from his harshness. "Nikolai," comes out breathlessly, the sound catching in your throat as your hands grip his shirt tightly to try and keep yourself grounded.

The white-haired man looks at you beneath him as his hands clamp down on your waist, holding you tighter as he moves his lips to your shoulder. For a few moments, Nikolai plants kisses along your neck while you catch your breath. Just before you can fully calm down, his teeth are right back on your collarbone and biting down with reckless abandon.

"Stay," he growls once more, teeth digging in to send another batch of shockwaves all across your body.

You whimper beneath him, thrashing tirelessly under his hold. "Nooo!"

Hot breath against your skin and sharp teeth grazing your flesh overwhelms your senses, sending you into a spiral while his fingers trail up and down your arms gently. It's hard to soothe someone while also causing them pain, but Nikolai's ministrations lead to your thrashing subsiding, chest heaving up and down as you merely breathe against him.

"It hurts?" he asks hoarsely.

The only response he gets is a feverish nod. Your eyes are screwed shut as your hands fumble with his shirt, clenching and unclenching the black fabric. It's an attempt to ground yourself, but your stinging neck keeps it from fully working.

Nikolai looks down at you, his eyebrows raised as he slides his teeth against your neck again, this time applying only enough pressure to be noticeable, ghosting over your bruised and ruined skin.

Monotonously, he replies, "Then I won't stop," as though merely stating a fact and not deciding your fate. Your breath catches, holding it for a moment while he lets out a low growl of satisfaction.

An unwanted hiccup passes your lips, tears spilling from your eyes while squirming beneath him. The feeling of pain clouds your mind, your head spinning from the sensations he's causing.

"Keep struggling," he demands softly while his eyes flare with excitement.

"Niko...lai," you pant.

The man grins excitedly over you, seemingly taking this as a challenge as he increases his biting pressure. Nikolai's tongue licks around the areas he's previously bruised before his teeth sink into you just right, breath stopping again at the pain. The action happens twice more before he yanks on your hair, forcing your head to crane back to give him better access.

A yelp sounds from you as your grip tightens on Nikolai's shirt, knuckles turning paler as the fabric stretches under your hold. You whine out a pathetic pleeease, tears turning to big globs while squirming once again.

He doesn't let up though, choosing instead to slide his mouth down your neck in search of another sensitive spot.

With his teeth hovering over your shoulder, threatening to bite down once again, Nikolai whispers, "Tell me you'll stay.” His voice is soft, the gentle tone he uses making your mind hazy.

You hesitate contemplatively, trying to weigh your options. All you have to do is promise you'll stay and he'll stop, right? That's not such a bad trade. Why did you even want to leave again? He protects you, always doing things in your best interest, right? Sure, he's hurting you now, but it's only because you hurt him first when you tried to leave. If you had just stayed in the first place, this wouldn't have happened.

Honestly, this predicament is entirely your fault, isn't it?

After a brief moment of hesitation, you end up nodding quickly. The motion agitates the bites along your neck, which causes you to flinch and recoil slightly. "I'll stay." The words come out easily, a promise you were sure you wouldn't break. Knuckles loosening, your hands move up from his shirt, the fabric now stretched out and wrinkly as you gently hold his shoulders.

The action makes Nikolai swoon, excited that you finally saw the light- the truth. With a gentle touch, his thumb and pointer finger pinch the chub of your cheek, pulling it out slightly as he smiles adoringly down at you.

"Perfect dove," he says as gently as his touch, voice soft and sweet before he presses a kiss to the side of your mouth. "So good for me."

Breathing more relaxed now, you nuzzle into his hand as it cups the side of your face. Nikolai's sudden loving touches help to calm you down, knowing it's finally over. The hand trails down slightly, palm swinging away from your skin as his finger pads linger just over the highest mark on your neck, made just below where your jaw and neck meet under your ear.

Nikolai can't help but reel giddily as you don't even flinch, just leaning into his touch as he rests it just over where he punctured it. The thought that you weren't even scared of him touching the tender spot and making it sting really solidifies in his mind that, once again, you're his. No more running away, you're more than happy to let him watch over you once again.

"You did so well for me, dove," he coos fondly. "Took it so well, didn't you? Precious dove. Always putting up with me, aren't you," Nikolai adds, the last line not a question.

The white-haired man pauses for a moment, smile fading. It takes him a few moments of gazing at the harsh marks marring your pretty skin for him to decide he might have to apologize.

"And... I'm sorry for that," he whispers, tone much lower than the murmur from a few seconds ago. "I got nervous, you know how I can get," he tries to explain with an awkward and forced chuckle, the guilt he's so accustomed with eating away at him.

Like Nikolai said, you're always put up with him - actions like this aren't exactly new, he just usually knew when to stop. You squeeze his shoulders once. "I know. You're a lot," you speak candidly.

With a wide grin, Nikolai feels immense relief. the guilt is still there, but it's significantly minimized when he realizes you aren't all that upset or scared. "I am!" He grins, fingers hovering back and forth over each wound on your neck. "Too much, right?" Even so, Nikolai can't help the small giggle sitting on his tongue, a glimmer of mirth in his eyes.

"The bites, or you?" You teasingly ask, eyes looking up at him in amusement.

It makes his heart flutter whether he wants it to or not, knowing this was nothing but a footnote in your time together, still as obsessed with him as he is with you. Nikolai shrugs as your request for clarification, not really having an answer anyway. "Both."

"The bites... yes. A bit too much. You?" You pause for a moment, letting silence linger as though building up suspense. "I guess you can be. But it might be a part of your charm."

"Might?" Nikolai pouts before peppering soft kisses along your cheeks, alternating left and right.

He wouldn't let you leave, that's for sure.

Silly elf lil shit (think of Elysia from hi3rd) and Dazai asks them to play with their ears just to get surprised from them saying sure LMFAOOAOS

Also HOW R U POOKIE :3 hope u eat and sleep well !!

THANK UUU i am doing my best 😭 but i’ve been eating and sleeping well 💪🏻 that’s half the battle

Dazai’s mischievous grin had Kunikida sighing. Oh well, at least it's not pointed towards him.

You were working silently on a report, bored out of your mind. If you weren't worried about getting fired (has anyone been fired from the ADA?), you would've pushed it off until tomorrow... or maybe the next day. A sigh passes your lips as you glance up from the computer screen, looking for a welcomed distraction.

Making eye contact with Dazai, you knew it'd be easy.

Pointed ears twitch in amusement, smirking back towards the brunet. His eyes seemed to shine at the movement, standing up to move behind you. "Hello, love," his hands rest on your shoulders, fingers grazing your ears on the way to their perch. It was obvious he had some sort of plan brewing.

"Dazai," you greet curtly. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" You were keeping it formal, sure, but that's only because you knew it'd make Dazai work harder to distract you from your work — something you'd accept graciously.

"So harsh, hm? No pet names, no words of affection..." he pouts, spinning your chair around to look at him. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you don't love me!"

"Maybe that's what I'm trying to achieve," you tease.

Dazai shakes his head, clicking his tongue thrice is disapproval. "The only way to do that is to deny me my next request. Of course, if you want me to think you don't love me..." he trails off, an evil smirk that has you flustered. The smirk is evil because it's so pretty — anyone would have a hard time denying it. ("Not anyone," you hear Kunikida in your head.)

"And what is that request?" Your ears twitch again in amusement, much to Dazai's delight. He doesn't expect you to say yes, but that won't stop him from asking:

"Can I play with your ears?"

It's so hard to catch Dazai off guard, but your easy "Yes," seems to do just that.

He grins so boyishly and excitedly, hands immediately pulling at the pointed tips of your ears (for which you chastise him, pouting about how that hurts) and poking the skin.

You spin around in your chair, letting him mess with them from behind as you turn back to your reports. Maybe now you’ll be able to get something done.

boop bc ur dazai dishwashing fic just made my morning <3 🐾

AWW THANKS im glad you liked it!!!!

ok ok I have more thoughts on Reincarnated Villain Darling for bsd here I goooo

In your first life, you were not a particularly good person. you might not have been on par with the likes of fyodor or the port mafia, but you were infamous enough to be a household name around Yokohama. maybe you were more of a schemer, maybe a brute force type, but you caused your fair share of mayhem on your day.

until you died.

you had, at one time, believed all of your efforts- all the destruction and pain you caused- would eventually be justified. eventually, the universe or God or whatever would finally acknowledge you- and you could rest easily knowing that at least it'd all been for a just cause. but that didn't happen. you were caught, you were defeated, and you were killed- and nothing came of it at all. but now that you've been sent back in time, you can make things right! I mean you weren't sent back far enough that you don't already have something of a reputation but... you can make this work! people start over all the time, you can too!

unfortunately, suddenly deciding to become the next virgin mary in the middle of your reign of terror turns a few heads.

dazai is as hypocritical as they come. sure, HE left his criminal past behind to be a certified Good Boy, but he doesn't believe others can follow this method. hell, I don't even think he believes HES pulling it off. he doesn't trust your sudden shift one bit, so obviously he has to investigate. you don't let his distrusting glares or not-so-subtle digs phase you, though, you have amends to make. of course, the more you prove his suspicions about you wrong, the more determined he is to reveal your supposed "true nature". you think that turning your good deeds to him will get him off your back... but it's quite the opposite, unfortunately. you've only served to get him attached.

fyodor thinks it's rather interesting, especially if you're someone with an ability. an evil ability user suddenly turning from their wicked ways and repenting? how could he not want to see that for himself! while the concept of an ability user going from someone who bombs buildings to a bona-fide Saint who rescues kittens from trees kinda flies in the face of his entire ideology, he's more intrigued by the idea than annoyed by it. and wherever there's fyodor, there's gogol, who is going to be VERY interested in testing just how far he can push your new personality.

gonna cut myself short here but picture: being rivals with akutagawa and atsushi in your past and now the two of them follow you around like lost dogs. chuuya, the guy who you distinctly remember throwing a black hole directly at your face, won't stop trying to get you to agree to go out with him. any character you like! yosano, kunikida, ranpo, mushi, fitz, etc. everyone just HAS to known what's gotten into you lately!

and it seems like they're liking what they're seeing so far.

also while I'm here TELL ME UR YOSANO THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW????? YANDERE YOSANO FOR ME PLS???? ALSO THE CAT THING. IMAGINE BEING INCARNATED INTO BSD AS A CAT THAT DAZAI WONT STOP PSPSPSPSING AT

- 🩹

100/10 would reincarnate as a cat into bsd to get pspspspsed at by dazai <3 and i will never look at him so he feels crushed! slight manga spoilers about jouno's past but his part is at the end so you can stop before it!

ft nikolai, fyodor, dazai, jouno.

cw; yandere character, stalking, jealousy, obsession, manipulation.

it's nikolai who notices your odd behaviour first.

he's close behind you when you cautiously walk into the bank you stole from just two days ago, glancing all around you as you stumble in with the large bags in your arms. everyone around you freeze at the sight of your infamous disguise (nikolai thinks it's rather cowardly of you to not show your real face in public. you should be proud of your villainous exploits!) and your awkward attempts at reassuring them and shushing them goes terribly, as they all fall to the floor with tears in their eyes. still, you soldier on, wincing at the pure terror you see in the trembling figures and loud sobbing, and go to place the bags on the largest counter. the clerk already has his card out, ready to let you into any room you wish to rob, but you shake your head at him.

"no, i'm only here to return this," the clerk's eyes widen at your words, "i'll have the rest of the money i've taken sent to you later today. there was too much to carry," you laugh, and is that nervousness that nikolai senses in your voice? you, the ever confident criminal, are nervous, and in the face of a terrified pipsqueak? "and i wanted to apologize for all the trouble. there's more money in here," you toss another bag onto the counter, "but i would like this to be used for compensation, for everyone that was here last time, and today."

strange, nikolai thinks, even your manner of speaking seems to have changed. your voice isn't as thundering as it used to be, and your words are polite. the words you use are kinder, somehow, and you sound more sympathetic, not as obviously exaggerated.

even stranger is that you do just as you say, placing the money and immediately leaving the building. the police is called, and even a bomb squad just in case this was all a terrible joke, but the money is there as promised, and nothing else. and later that day, huge trucks line up outside the bank and money is left piled up inside, like you had said.

it's not that nikolai doesn't think that people can change, but there's something completely unnatural about your change in heart. nothing in particular seems to have inspired your sudden turnaround, as far as he's aware, you were even planning your next strike the night before, but you woke up and threw it all away, and instead marched yourself straight to the bank.

naturally, he needs answers. so he continues his little habit of following you around. it's a little unusual to see you without your disguise, living a perfectly normal life. you get your coffee from the same place every morning and take the same train and the same path and go to your ordinary job and it's so awfully boring that nikolai can't understand how you can bear it all. how do you go from the thrill of villainy to...this mundane, dull life?

despite all the monotony you've surrounded yourself with, nikolai can't say he finds you boring. he's always liked you, but not enough to want you dead. you're exciting, with your magnetic personality and outrageous stunts. and maybe, compared to the brutal violence by all the other 'villains' of yokohama, your presence is somewhat of a relief to the public. dangerous, but not lethal. if they keep their heads down and let you do your thing, they can leave the scene traumatized, but alive, and you'll leave a happy little bird. nikolai always found that amusing, if a little frustrating at times. why not just go all the way and kill the witnesses?

he listens closely to the boring conversations you have with your coworkers, about the weather and lunch and god how do you bear this? he watches you stand expressionless as you get berated about something by a superior, and finds himself giggling when you later get back at them by mixing laxatives into their coffee when they aren't looking. he's relieved, a light feeling bursting in his chest when he realizes you haven't completely changed for the better. you still have the stray bits of your previous self, and he's not sure why he's so happy to know that.

as time goes by, as he sees you doing more good—selfless acts that you have nothing to gain from, nikolai can no longer hide the curiosity burning inside of him. he wants to know why so badly, wants to know why you threw away all the fun and excitement and the wonderful selfish way of life to turn to this, and why you look happier.

"nikolai," you say when he finally reveals himself, "what brings you here?"

he notices your hand slipping into your pocket, curling around what he already knows is a weapon, and smiles to himself. good, you still had it in you.

"my good friend! how long has it been?" he croons, his voice almost grating like this, "i've missed seeing you around here."

you back away, eyes searching for an exit. before you can begin running, nikolai already has a hand through his coat to drag you to the ground, a malicious grin waiting.

"not so fast," he hisses, the smile widening, "you have a lot of explaining to do."

your last conversation with fyodor still lingers in his mind.

"i'm not interested." fyodor blinks at you, his previous smile having slipped off, "i understand that your values do not align with ours, but this opportunity—" "that's not the only reason," you explain, "not to say it isn't reason enough, but, well, i've decided to give it up. this life of crime, i mean." he stares at you for a moment longer before soft laughter echoes through the alley, "do you think it's that easy?" you glance around you, trying to plan an escape route just in case the man in front of you decides that you've pissed him off too much and turns you into a mess of blood and guts. he didn't sound angry, but the dostoevsky you know, and the one you remember, was very good at hiding his displeasure behind charismatic smiles and disguised threats. "to throw away everything you've worked...i wonder what changed your mind." you step back, "i've been reflecting on myself, and realized that maybe it's not that fun to wreak havoc when people's lives are endangered. turns out, i have tons of other hobbies when putting aside the...criminal acts." "oh?" fyodor's smile widens, and he steps forward, "found something else worth your time? i wouldn't think that saving kittens is all that interesting when compared to the heists you've pulled off." "they make for great company," you ramble, eyes flitting across the narrow path, "not much of conversationalists, but better than hostages. you should look into getting a cat for yourself. or a dog, or something." "thank you," his voice drips with mockery, "i'll keep that in mind."

people can change, of course, but someone like you, getting up and deciding to throw your past away, as though none of it mattered, as though you could bury it and go on...fyodor doesn't quite agree with it. it's quite peculiar. more so because this time, it concerned you. fyodor doesn't waste his time on petty criminals and their little antics, butt he can't say that he's never been drawn in by you and your extravagant performances that only serves to hide the hideous nature of your soul. he can't say it didn't pique his interest to see you destroy the building where government heads were to gather mere minutes before they made their entrance (and if seeing you grin and wave at the blond detective on scene, clearly waiting for you, made something inside him churn and boil, he didn't think twice about it.)

someone as unabashed and brazen as you was now scurrying away from him, hiding beneath a new identity and cleared records. he wonders, for a moment, if the detective killer was involved in anyway. but how would you know, of his ability? even fyodor had yet to make contact with him. when he later finds out that mushitaro oguri had escaped from the organization, he realizes that there's only one person too elusive to be caught after pulling off such an impossible feat.

people can change, he decides, but your change is unnatural, unwarranted. there was no great tragedy, no failed heist, no harsh punishment that had evoked such sudden development. And there was something else, that visceral sense of fear evident in you when he approached you that day—that wasn't normal. not when the last time you met him, barely a month ago on a rooftop while you were on the run, you stared him down with such impudence, your words laced with audacious condescendence while you prattled on about how lame he looked and a string of other insults before running off again. this wasn't the you he met that day; you had suddenly become aware of the danger he posed, your eyes glued to his gloved hands even while talking to him, searching for an exit in between sentences....so, what caused your change?

how normal was it, really? to wake up one day and decide to completely throw away everything about your life so far and turn into a seemingly ordinary person, to suddenly learn about his (and numerous others, if the case of the evidence suppressor was anything to go by) ability? such unprecedented gain in knowledge that was carefully guarded would be impossible by ordinary means. unless of course, you had somehow earned an ability that gave you such insight. there wasn't any definite conclusion about whether you had an ability or not, considering your resourceful arsenal and agility, but if this was the works of a newly gained ability, it would explain a lot. strange, though, that the moment you received a power that should only help propel your crimes to a greater extent, you shut it all down immediately.

but it's not too difficult for him to ease you back into his trap, with the use of the book and his connections. he has nikolai keep an eye on you while he plans your next encounter. he memorizes the way you walk home and studies how your changed personality may affect how you make your decisions now, and has a thousand questions he wants to wrench out an answer from you for in his mind, after imprisoning you.

but when you actually meet again on a particularly cold night, all he wants to know is why. even though he knows you won't give him the answer to the question that's haunting him all this time.

"[name]," he whispers, a hand on your cheek. you are painfully tense, eyes immediately closing when he touches you, and something inside him curls with displeasure, "you're going to hurt my feelings if you keep this up." he wonders if you can hear the bitterness coating every word of his.

"there shouldn't be such distance between old friends, don't you think?"

dazai finds out through ranpo that you've resigned from the villainous life, after the older man insists they didn't have to stake out at a bank for you because you had "given that life up," but even as he stares at footage of police officers claiming you had disappeared into thin air, he can't quite believe it.

until he meets you for the first time since your disappearance, and you're...different.

different in the way you observe the people around you closely, in the way your voice has hollowed out and you look smaller, like you've been eaten away at. what was bothering you, now? most people wouldn't recognize you underneath your disguise, so there was nothing to be wary about, right? he sees you go to work like a regular person, (you didn't work here before, he remembers, you didn't have to) and when you're on your way back and stop near an alleyway, regarding it with an unreadable expression, he immediately prepares to stop you. you were going to go into the alley and slip on your mask before coming out to wreak—you just walk away instead and he's left alone with his thoughts.

he finds out what's been tiring you out when he decides to spend a few more hours watching you after you get home—just in case he gets an opportunity to catch you red handed, of course—and to his delight, you do get suited up before leaving, but not to do what he expects. you're...not disrupting public safety, and he almost can't believe it, but it's you who's cleaning up a smaller street, you feeding the strays and you knocking out a bicycle thief before returning the stolen bike to its previous spot, and what does this mean?!

is it really that easy, he wonders, to give up a lifetime worth of crime and evil? did you never regret it, or miss your past? were you completely ready to embrace this new life, ready to slip on the mask of an ordinary citizen and make up for your past grievances?

(was it only him that struggled to do the same?)

dazai ponders on what could be motivating you, what was so great that it completely shattered every bad bone in your body and set you on the right path again. did you lose someone, too? but, he realizes, it's not melancholy or grief that follows you—it's desperation, that forces you to destroy every thread that links you back to what you used to be, it's fear that lingers in your constant alertness. what were you running from?

later, dazai's convinced that you're doing this to shake off everyone on your tail, lying low and leading the public into a false sense of security before returning with worse crimes than before, even though all the evidence tells him otherwise. your mask is destroyed, your weapons locked away, you even spend your evenings at pottery classes and cooking lessons instead of stalking through the streets of yokohama, looking for your next target. and you're surprisingly well adjusted, polite and coming across as perfectly normal despite your past, and dazai isn't envious about how easy you make it look, while he had to lie in hiding for years, he's just keeping an eye out for the people who may be harmed by you if—when—you decide to make a comeback. (but if someone asked him why he signed up for the evening classes you go for, he couldn't really give a good answer, except for "surveillance.")

turns out, he's not being too subtle.

"is there something you need?" you glance back momentarily, but your steps don't stop, "or are you just stalking me for the fun of it?"

dazai's mind immediately blanks, not expecting to be called out, and he fumbles for the best defense he has, "i am not stalking. i'm just keeping an eye on you, to make sure you don't...revert back to your old ways."

"i won't," he's a little taken aback by how you don't even question how he knew about your past, "but it's hard to leave all that behind when someone won't let it stay in the past."

"people don't change that easily—"

"are you speaking from personal experience?"

dazai inhales sharply, looking almost livid with how he glared at you, "i know you, [name]. you're planning something."

your responding smile is wry, and mocking, "i didn't know you were such a big fan of me. want an autograph while you're here?" but the expression drops immediately after, and your exasperation is only all the more obvious to him as you sigh, "listen, i can't tell you why i made this decision but i can promise that i'll never turn back."

and before dazai can throw out anymore accusations, you've already started walking away, leaving him alone yet again.

but your words echo in his mind, and though you were only trying to convince him otherwise, he resolutely decides that someone has to hold you to your final promise—and who better than him for the job?

jouno has been watching you for a while now, even before you started acting...strangely.

it wasn't anything personal, of course. it was just what he had to do to maintain order—even if he had to wrangle the files away from the investigation unit (after a poorly disguised threat) to begin surveilling you. he had been watching you, and for longer than anyone else, from the start of your criminal history.

with the newly spreading news about your apparent retirement, jouno was simultaneously proud and frustrated. he had always been sure that you were able to throw aside the meaningless life you had lived thus far and work to become a better person, and had been advocating for you from the very beginning. he was the reason, in fact, that you hadn't been thrown into a high security prison after your dangerous stunt involving some of the country's wealthiest and most powerful people. but now that you had changed, as he wished, he wasn't sure he was happy with all the extra attention you were getting. he knew you were about to get proposition by a variety of individuals and organizations, knew you were likely about to be investigated and prodded at by those who refused to believe in you and those who thought you could be won over easily enough, and he didn't quite like that consequence.

he wasn't particularly worried that you'd change your mind and go back to your previous line of work; jouno was confident in your resolve and your decisions, and he wasn't worried for your safety, since you had always done a good job at separating your private and personal life. however, all the new people who were interested in you now, the new eyes scrutinizing your sudden decision and the new faces you had to greet at work, didn't quite sit right with him. it wasn't fair, he thinks, that you had no clue about how much he believed in you, how much he was prepared to defend you.

and a small, dark part of him was a little upset that he didn't need to get involved in order to convince you—it was hoping that if he got to meet you, he could judge that you hadn't completely changed and that you needed him, and his guidance, to help. he was hoping he could have an opportunity to talk to you up close, to memorize the sound of your voice saying his name.

jouno thought he could change you—the fact that you didn't need him to bothered him more than he'd like to admit.

he had it all planned out; you'd have been his first successful recruit. all the other criminals he as tasked with rarely left his interrogations unharmed, let alone with their sanity intact. and you'd have been his subordinate, looking up at him as your supervisor and adviser, tasked to work with him on his missions, though you'd never be a hunting dog. he wouldn't show you his interrogations, not at first, but he'd take you with him when he was hunting down a villain as a reminder of your fate if you ever turned your back on him. and he would teach you, slowly, about military law and code, about the skills you needed to survive. he'd convince you, and the government, that you needed something to tie you down to them—after all, you couldn't exactly be trusted, yet, and if it had to be a procedure similar to his, he could hold your hand and help you through your recovery, pretending to be on your side, and earning more of your trust. and eventually...eventually, the two of you would grow closer, and you would be ecstatic to be with him.

but clearly, you didn't require his involvement.

perhaps jouno should be more concerned about what convinced you to give up the life you had worked so hard to stay on top of, but at the moment it wasn't of much concern to him. there was no secret threats, no sudden deaths of anyone close to you, just you and your newfound fear. not exactly typical, but far from suspicious. many criminals, especially petty ones with no real motive or goal, decided to start anew for seemingly no reason. it could very well be a hyper realistic nightmare, or a close brush with death—or even just a sentimental conversation with a loved one. it as obvious to him, however, that he wasn't the reason.

still, he didn't let that deter him.

because there was still plenty of opportunities for him to involve himself into your life. he could always admit that the government had been surveilling you, and lie that he was sent to make sure you stayed out of trouble, or he could make up a story about how you were being targeted by a notorious organisation, and he was tasked with protecting you instead. he could introduce himself as his hidden past, admit that he too was just like you, that he could help you bury the past, and work out a friendship of sorts.

it was only a matter of which method would be most effective. after he dealt with all the other pests hovering over you, he'd set his plans in motion.