I Have Never Felt As Mature As When I Finally Understood (through Therapy) And Internalized (through

TW: Pedophilia

Teenagers are rarely taught the reason why they can't consent to sex with adults.

And that's because teaching them that would completely unravel our coercion-based society.

It can be difficult to explain in detail the exact reason and all the specifics in a way that they will understand. But the simplest way to phrase it is that in some cases, even when someone agrees to something and even when they appear enthusiastic about it, there's too much of a power imbalance that it's no different than forcing them. Also, having power and being abusive doesn't require a conscious expectation to be obeyed.

Imagine a world in which every teenager understood that and was easily able to call out anyone who tried to convince them otherwise.

They'd know that there's no such thing as an employee consenting to working for a poverty wage, working in unsafe conditions, working long hours, or working without taking breaks. They'd know that there's no such thing as consenting to paying a bank overdraft fee. They'd know that there's no such thing as consenting to student loan debt. They'd know that there's no such thing as consenting to medical bills. They'd know that there's no such thing as consenting to generating profit for banks or landlords in order to have a place to live and being evicted or foreclosed when you lose your source of income. They'd know that there's no such thing as consenting to a police search. They'd know that there's no such thing as a child who's okay with their parents spanking them. They'd know that being dependent on someone does not mean that you can never criticize them. They'd know that if it's considered abusive to simply play along when someone obeys, then it has to be much more abusive to actively expect to be obeyed, which many adults do to them.

And people who benefit from a society based on coercion masquerading as freedom wouldn't like that.

So instead, teenagers are taught something dismissive. They're taught that what they want doesn't matter. They're taught that they're too young to know what love is. They're taught "it's the law". They're taught things that are insulting to their intelligence, which they'll naturally rebel against.

I'm so glad she's comfortable and strong enough to say I need a break. that's such a difficult thing to do, especially with the external pressures that she's facing. I'm glad she's prioritizing herself and setting such a good example for future athletes. I'm happy that mental health is something that we're taking into account now and hopefully this trickles down to college and high school athletes who follow the examples of Simone biles, Naomi Osaka, and the queen miss press.

In this house we always support a queen taking time for herself 👏👏👏

Sending all the love and good vibes

kara "excuse me sir thats mine" danvers

I shall add “fist bump” to my caregiving matrix

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wait why am i getting emotional over the fact that this is christen’s first major tournament in the solid starting position that SHE ALWAYS DESERVED

Dear Beatrice,

Have you ever been to IKEA?

I saw a movie once where this couple was pretending to live out their lives in a bunch of fake IKEA sets and in retrospect it was a little weird, probably, and super inconvenient for everyone around them, but that’s the point, right? That they were so in love with each other that they were selfish in a way that was okay.

I want to go to IKEA and not care about anyone else or anything else. I want to be dumb and cheesy. I want to inconvenience people in ways that doesn't lead to the world ending. I want to get a free pass for being young and stupid and in love. I want to be selfish like that with you.

Do you know where I’m going with this?

I don’t. Not really. Not right now. But you will, by the time you’re reading this. Because I’ll have told you that I want you to go to IKEA and dance in the rain or share a plate of spaghetti with someone under the moonlight or spin around on hilltops while singing about the sound of music or spread your arms out wide and shout something from the front of a ship. Or… honestly, hopefully I’ll have told you something way better than all that because I’m still working on how I’m going to tell you and I don’t think movie references are the way to go. But you know what I mean. Hopefully, I’ll have told you that I want you to do the things I couldn’t, that you couldn’t, that we couldn’t do together. Hopefully, I’ll have found a way to tell you that doesn’t sound stupid or make you cry or make it seem like I'm taking the easy way out. Hopefully, by now, you’ll know that I love you and in a movie, that would be enough to change the universe and give us a happy ending. But here, we are what we are, and it isn’t.

That’s okay. Or… okay, fine. It’s not. It’s bullshit! It sucks! I want to be selfish and I want to be with you and I want to do all this stuff together! But it is worth it. I’m not going to make it through this, but if you’re reading this letter, that means you do and that’s worth it. Though... not fair. I know it’s not fair. But I’m doing this so you can live your life.

Maybe that’s what I’ll say to you. Because that’s actually pretty good, isn’t it? And it’s the truth too. I’m doing this so you can live your life. It doesn’t have to be the movie stuff that I always put on my dumb to-do lists. But it has to be something. The only way I’ll be able to do this is if I know that you’ll go on and do something that will make you happy. That’s a pretty shitty burden to place on someone, I know. But you can handle it. You can handle anything. (I'm sorry, but that's the truth too.) And I think it’ll be less of a burden in the end, because I think you’ll find something beautiful out there.

So… go to IKEA. Get a tattoo. Help a baby turtle make its way back to the sea. Spend an entire day reading in bed and eating ice cream. Swim with whale sharks. See the northern lights. Go to a drive-in theater and see the end of that stupid movie that I don’t remember the name of.

Live your life, Beatrice, and I promise you’ll find something every day to keep living for. Because the universe owes you that much. And by now, it owes me that much too.

I love you. If you’re right about everything that happens afterwards, then I’ll still be loving you when you read this. I think maybe I’ll love you forever, even if you’re wrong.

A compilation of my magical ocean-themed illustrations - all of these and more are available as prints until Nov 26th in my store here!

The depth and important messaging and often overlooked nuance in these subjects that Azie Tesfai brought to tonight’s Supergirl… bravo. Genuinely amazing.

By the way… the little girl. The Kelly/Alex convo. And the hair moment. Powerful.

The ep was beautifully written and executed. Alas it was also a frustrating reminder of what the show could and should have always been (and at one point was), if handled with more care by people who truly understood the characters and stories and messaging that they tried to touch on but instead so often misfired or took the silly, superficial, or even at times outright offensive route for.

Speaking of, that promo gave me whiplash. I went from tears in my eyes and feeling intense awe to making a wtf face and shaking my head, right back to my usual annoyance. Can’t believe I’m saying it but no promo would’ve been better than that promo, after that incredible episode.

Anyway, back to what matters most right now: Azie Tesfai, everybody. 👏