Steve Isn’t Coping

Angst idea 😈💕

Steve cutting off the party after he continuously is attempting to show hints he’s not ok emotionally and needs someone but keeps getting brushed off. With the passive “oh we all feel like that” “is it really that big a deal still” “so? We survived right” “oh just let it go” all about hinting he’s still not ok from the upside down but the others have each other, everyone has someone. So Steve just starts closing off and it starts with not coming to things all the time, then doing the bare minimum of driving the kids, and just going to work on a loop until he stops all that too. Robins been off work now too since she’s packing for college with Vickie. So literally no one notices until Eddie does….

Hehehehe ideas Lexi ideas 😈 was gonna do anon but fuck it

This ask is over a month old because I’m so goddamn behind on these, but here we are! Some angst with a dash of hurt/comfort for my favorite lil angst gremlin💛

Steve Isn’t Coping

It starts small.

Being around his friends and the kids doesn’t sound as fun anymore. It’s feel draining and like maybe he should’ve stayed home and wallowed in bed instead.

He still shows up to things for a while, determined not to let anyone see that the world feels like a heavy burden resting on his shoulders alone. He’s strong though. A leader in the group. The brave and fearless one. Cracking isn’t allowed.

So Steve agrees to driving The Party places and he shows his face here and there as much as feels necessary so that nobody finds out.

But it’s hard. Getting dressed is hard. Taking a shower is hard. Being around people who love him and think he’s indestructible is so fucking hard.

And Jesus Christ, he actually does try to speak up a few times about what he’s feeling. It comes out in the way he asks that the lights stay on during movies, too afraid of the things that hide in the shadows now.

Instead of understanding, he’s met with laughter by some of the kids. With being brushed off or minimized for his worries.

“Steve Harrington, slayer of demodogs and demobats, scared of the dark? Yeah, right… Good one, dude.”

He covers his watering eyes with his own chuckles. They’re probably right and he’s just being a baby.

Despite this failure, Steve tries again when he asks the older teens if they ever think about how different everything would be if the upside down hadn’t opened up. He confesses that he’s afraid and that he still jumps at loud noises sometimes. He talks about how he’d change it all if he could.

Again, he’s pushed aside with, “That’s all in the past now. Let it go, Steve. Dwelling on it won’t help anyone.”

Steve tries.

He tries and tries, but nothing works.

Then he stops showing up, stops answering his phone when the kids ask for rides, stops going to work until he gets a message on his answering machine telling him that he no longer has a job. Robin might’ve noticed, but she’s days away from leaving for college and things have been going so well for her that he’s been extra careful when she’s around.

Steve dreads the day that she leaves and he’s all alone again, but he wants her to be happy.

He hardly sees anyone else, to the point that when he hears a knocking on his front door, he just assumes that Robin forgot her key at home and he opens the door without checking who it is.

Eddie of all people is the one standing on his front step, looking concerned and even a little agitated. Steve hasn’t the faintest idea why he’d be at his house now that he’s finally graduated and working at the new record shop in town. They hardly see each other except in passing interactions. Still, he allows him into his home.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Steve flinches at the accusatory tone, crossing his arms on his chest for some illusion of safety.

He knows exactly what’s being asked, but he can pretend. Just a little while longer, just until Robin is away from Hawkins and can stop worrying about him. He can be normal.

“I don’t know what you mean, Munson. I’m fine.”

Eddie scoffs, coming closer and gently gripping Steve’s shoulders, his gaze bouncing all over the place as he studies Steve intensely.

“You look like shit.”

“Gee… thanks, man.”

He rolls his eyes, releasing Steve to place a hand on his lower back instead as he begins leading them both to the couch in the living room like it’s his house.

“It’s not like you can deny it, Steve. You look like you’ve not slept in forever and you quit your job. I’ve been trying to figure out what your deal is for weeks. When you didn’t show up today, I figured there had to be a good reason and it seems I found it,” Eddie explains, further confusing him.

“Show up to what?” Steve asks, slumping into the couch as the exhaustion he was ignoring takes hold of him.

Eddie’s arm wraps around his shoulders, pulling him closer into a side hug that feels too nice to pull away from. This is more physical contact than he’s had in weeks and it seems to hush the buzzing in his brain.

He seems to hesitate before replying, “Robin’s going away party.”

No.

Oh God, no.

How could he possibly miss something so important? His best friend is leaving for college in two days and Steve was more interested in crying in his bed than showing up for the one person who’s never let him down.

Fresh tears spring to his eyes and Eddie quickly pulls him into a full hug then, shushing him softly and starting to rock them back and forth slowly.

“Hey, you’re okay, sweetheart. Robin isn’t upset with you, she’s just… she’s scared, Stevie. We all are. This isn’t like you.”

Steve nods into Eddie’s shoulder, not sure how to even respond to that. He’s a disappointment and a failure, unable to cope with things like everyone else seems to so easily. He feels weak and like the title of hero belongs to anyone but him.

“I’m so scared, Eddie,” he confesses with a broken sob. It all comes pouring out then. “I’m scared of everything and I can’t even sleep without all the lights on and my bat next to my bed. I can’t tell Robin because she has to go be her own person and I don’t want to hold her back from that, but I’m alone. I’m so alone now.”

A gentle kiss being pressed to his forehead manages to surprise him, but he still doesn’t pull away. The action is so loving and affectionate, full of comfort from someone he’d never imagined getting it from.

Now that he has it though, Steve doesn’t want to go without.

“It’s okay not to be okay.”

That pulls another sob from him.

“I don’t want to be broken anymore. I want to be normal, Ed.”

Eddie’s voice comes out shaky, but honest when he tells him, “If you’re broken, then so am I. Stevie, I haven’t slept in the dark in months and I never let my guard down anymore. I don’t think we can go back to normal with all we’ve been through, but… if you need someone to hold you for a while and help you sleep, I think I can do that.”

Steve allows himself to melt completely into the embrace, finally letting his body relax fully and he’s rewarded with more kisses to the top of his head.

“I wouldn’t want to be a bother,” he protests half-assedly.

Instead of being told that he’s not an inconvenience or that Eddie doesn’t mind having to deal with him, the man says confidently, “I want to be the one to hold you, baby. I want to take care of you and show you how much you matter to me. Broken or whole, you have my heart, Stevie.”

Steve has every intention of returning the favor.

That’s the night he starts to feel again, the night that the numbness begins to fade away and he falls in love once more.