Sorry I Haven't Been Posting A Lot.i Really Want To But I Have Zero Ideas.i Litterly Started A Different

★𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Wordcount:1163

Proofread:meh

Warnings:kissing,lying and just cutness tbh

A/N:I’m so embarrassed at how long it took for me to make this...🌚.btw this is pt 3 for On camera so if you haven't read that then you should do so:)

𖦹 𖦹

The drive home wasn’t much different from the video we had just filmed.awkwardness not filling the air for a second.except for with Chris.he was almost the opposite as he just was a minutes ago.atleast he was responding to Matt and Nick though.he hasn’t even said a word too me since the video ended.

I said a few things to him but only got small hums in agreement back.nothing like how he was just acting.like a switch flipped in him. “Do you wanna sleep over y/nn?” Nick asked which broke me out of my confused thoughts.

“Uhm yea if that’s alright, nothing to really do at home anyways.”I responded, throwing a shrug at the end of sling sentence to not be boring.a sleepover would be nice.I haven’t got out of the house at night time in a while anyways.

Nick didn’t respond, simply nodding up and down and then turning to Matt and yelling to turn the music up louder.

At the house

“WAIT” Nick yelled before I went upstairs to his room so I could crash a burn. “my room is like super messy right now gimme a second to clean it”he continued.I don’t know why he all of a sudden cared about him room being dirty.I’ve seen his room messy many times before.he must have a reason thought so i just backed away and let him scurry upstairs.

Matt had already entered his room, grabbing something from the fridge and going back into hibernation.this left me and Chris in the kitchen alone.I hated the fact I knew if we were normal right now this awkward silence wouldn’t have even existed.but it wasn’t my fault.he was the one acting all weird.

He was probably just in a bad mood or something so I didn’t wanna pry, if he wanted me to know what was going on he would’ve told me.

Going through with my morals I picked up my phone and leaned on the counter, scrolling through it mindlessly, Chris doing the same already across the island from me.

Abruptly he set his phone down on the counter. “Y/n, can we talk.” he said causing me to pick my head up from my phone.

“Uh yea sure what’s up?”i replied.fully turning my body to face his.making eye constant with him was difficult,too awkward to go through with.

“I’ve been feeling these things lately, weird, complicated things”he began,pausing his sentence to think about what to say “and I don’t really understand them I guess, I’m just really confused right now and…”he trailed off.

“You know you can always talk to me if somethings going on right?”i responded.

“Yea i know that but…..it’s about you.”he answered seriously.I was now nervous.had I done something?did I upset him?was he mad at me?

Worry filled my head,causing my face to contort into one that matched how I was feeling. “I’m not mad at you or anything”he backtracked. “I just…I think I’m in love with you.” The pale boy who stood across the island confessed.I was shocked.we had been friends since 7th grade.every time people would say ‘you guys would make a cute couple!’ Or ‘I know you like eachother.’ He was always fast to shoot it down.faster than me.

He had just recently broken up with a girl, Chloe.not only did she not look or act anything like me but he would often express during late night talks how much he missed her.this crushed my heart.knowing he wanted another girl the same I wish he wanted me was demeaning to say the least.

“I don’t believe you”I whispered.it didn’t make sense.how could he go from one girl to the other in such short time. This is probably some sick joke that I’ll go home and cry about while listening to Lana del Rey at the loudest volume possible.

He seemed hurt at what I said.I didn’t want to hurt him.I would never want to hurt him.I started to silently panic.scared he might take back what he said just because my words were misconstrued. “I don’t mean it like that it’s just.weren’t you taking about Chloe like the other night?don’t you still want her.you cried for like an hour when you guys broke up.” I rambled on.

“I couldn’t give a fuck about chole, I..forced myself to love her cause I knew we would never get together.I broke up with her because of you.I’ve loved you since we first met.your the only one I want.”he passionately answered, raising his voice slightly.not out of anger but as to show how serious about this he was.he slowly made his way toward me while saying this.now he stood right infront of me.eyes searching mine for some answer of any kind.but I didn’t have one.

yes I had felt the same why he’s describing now but was a relationship worth risking a 7 year long friendship.all good things come to an end.he’s talked about how he doesn’t want to marry.then even if we did we could always divorce.he has no problem lying to girls seeing as he pretended to love chole and then told me she broke up with him.or we could just realize we’re not as attracted to eachother as we thought and slowly drift apart.I’ve only known him as a friend, a great one yes but Lord knows what he’s like as a boyfriend.he’s never even acted that way slightly towards me.I have no clue what to expect

Too many idea and worst case scenario’s.the pressure cracking down on me slowly.tears began to well up in my eyes subconsciously. He took my hands into his lightly.“You don’t make have to make any decisions right now I know this is a lot and-”the blue eyed boy began before I cut him off, grabbing his face and pressing our lips together.

He melted into the hungry kiss.hands going to my waist and placing me up and onto the counter.he situated himself in between my legs,not breaking the kiss once.I ran my fingers through his hair.normally he would be upset if anyone touched his hair but right now he couldn’t care less.we had been waiting for this kiss since we were13.

“I love you too”I breathed out once we broke apart.thankful to finally get that off my chest.

“So you wanna be my girlfriend”he asked, acting as if we were still in middle school.

“Yea”I smiled ear to ear as the words left my mouth.I could now, after all this time, call him my boyfriend.hell yea.

★𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫

𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Proofread:sorta

Wordcount:308

WARNING: mentions of murder,stabbing and someone going missing.kissing/making out.it sounds like they’re having sex but they’re not, just making out.

A/N:I love like dark Matt.not necessarily tough Matt but like 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌 Matt ykwim.

𖦹 𖦹

My body began to heat up as our toungues danced passionately.my weight in his lap never seeming to bother the boy.I ran my fingers through his hair in order to bring myslef down to earth again.I slowly moved up in down.His hands made their way to my waist on instinct.

I pulled away when I ran out of breath.once I regained awareness I stared at him.taking every feature of his in.his messy dark brown hair.his pink cheeks that stood out compared to the rest of his pale complexion.his blue eyes that pierced my heart like icicles.everything I about him was perfect.

“I would kill for you”the boy who I was admiring abruptly said.he’s always been a romantic like that.

“Oh really?how would you do it?”i asked teasingly.

“I would stab them and then burn the body”he said as if it was something I should’ve known.

“Oh wow that was fast.you think about this a lot huh?”i asked again.not thinking anything he was saying meant much.

“Everytime i see you with another guy”my boyfriend answered.

“Well if you burn the body then they would just be missing and the cops would find out.what about that hm?” I questioned. at this point I really did want to see how much he’s thought about this.

“They wouldn’t give a shit.”he answered nonchalantly. “Unless its someone important they look for like a week and then give up”

“Okayyyy but murder is a sin.”I stated, hoping it would throw a wrench in his ‘plan’.

“All sins are forgiven baby”he darkly retorted.not giving me time to ask anymore questions before he pulled me back into a kiss.his tongue hungrily searching my mouth.

The thought he would kill for me was really hot.it was also reassuring to know we share that same idea.he’ll never know that though.kinda like how nobody knows where his ex went.

★𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

proofread: yeaaa

word count:4k(lol plz send help)

WARNINGS: pt2 of jealous girl, toxic!Chris, smut but like for the plot yk, p in v, dick suckin, unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex kids😁👍), praise and degrading, crying, mentions of possible cheating, reader talks about being insecure, swearing, pet names, reader is def not standing on business.

A/N:here u gooo @urfavstromboli !this is too long holy shit.the smut part was so strange to write bc like I don't really like writing smut but I had to for like the story.also im sorry this took so long to makes started working on it right after pt1 and just forgot it was in my drafts LMAOOOO. also peep the special banner(I couldn't find any good lyrics).ok ill stop yappin and let you read.

𖦹 𖦹

✧SATURDAY

my heart beat sped up as I slammed the door in Chris' face.never being this upset with him in my life. I mean I never really thought he would choose another girl over me.Especially not one that has problems with me for no apparent reason. As I broke down into sobs I pulled out my phone and ironically called Nick, Chris' brother, knowing he would comfort me.

"Hey what's up?Did Chris apologize?" Nick asked through the phone.Once my crying was heard I think he got the hint of what had happened though.

"Can you uh..can you come over please really just... need someone right now."I stifled out as I paced around my living room.too many yet not enough thoughts running through my head.

"yea of course, do you want me to grab anything on the way?"Nick questioned sympathetically. I only responded with a small 'the usual' before we promptly said goodbye and I hung up.

✧NICKS POV

I heard the front door open as I shuffled down the stairs,Chris huffing and puffing as he stepped into my view. "How'd it go?"I asked even though I already knew how it went.I wanted to see if he would lie to me.

"horrible, its not even my fault though, shes acting like an insane bitch and is trying to make me choose between her and ash.fucking stupid.she needs to get over herself." Chris spat out.i was shock at his words about a girl who he used to love so much.the only time he talked about her behind her back was when he was saying how pretty she looked or how kind she way or how funny she could be.all of those feeling were now replaced by cold, rude, bullshit.

"don't talk about her like that, dickhead." I retorted.yes he's my brother and I'll love him no matter what but there is no way I would let him talk about her in such a way.especially when I knew that wasn't what he was like at all.

"what?! How am I the dickhead?" he yelled out as I turned my body to Matt's room in order to ask if he could drive me to y/n's.rolling my eyes and choosing to ignore the boy who had very clearly lost it.

"Can you drive me to y/n's?"I asked while poking my head into Matt's dark room. a small 'yea sure' being the answer as he got up from his desk.walking back into the kitchen area I was met with an angered Chris. God he was acting like such a child.

"don't ignore me,"he slightly shouted. "If I'm really a dick then there must be a reason!" my youngest brother said, looking at me soullessly.

"you literally were flirting with Ashley the other day, didn't  say anything when she insulted your girlfriend, when y/n confronted you about it you don't even care, and then when she asked you to make the very reasonable decision of either her or Ashley you get all pissed and start calling her an insane bitch, so yea I think that makes you a dick."I rambled on frustrated.

Chris didn't say anything before I walked toward the front door.or maybe he was going to but just didn't because of the situation.either way I don't think he really needed to say anything else.as I was getting my shoes on I could faintly hear Matt say "I know your my brother but if you hurt her anymore after today I'll kick your ass." which was followed up by my silence and footsteps towards Chris' room.

Matt huffed as he walked down the stairs and walked out the door to his car with me.Once we got in the car we both sighed deeply. "He's so stupid sometimes."Matt breathed out as he started the car and began to back out of the driveway.

"seriously, also we need to stop by the gas station."I replied.even though I was going to her house in order to comfort her and hopefully make her realize he's not treating her well and that she should just leave I know it would be to no avail.shes a hopeless romantic and there not much I can do about it.

✧YOUR POV

tears sprung out of my eyes like frogs with no hesitation. “Please please please let me get what I want” by deftones playing on my speaker. I looked into the mirror across from my bed as I laid on my side, locking eyes with my own reflection.I slowly picked my body up and now simply sat on my bed.still staring at myself intently.

I found myself simultaneously messing with different parts of my body and face.silently wishing they would morph to look like Ashley.she was perfect.the perfect weight,perfect skin,flawless makeup, model like hair.no wonder why Chris didn't mind her being on top of him.he probably wanted people to think that was his girlfriend.not me.why would anyone wanna be seen with me anyways.

The doorbell ringing for the second time this night broke me out of my thoughts.I slowly brought myself to my feet and dragged myself to the front door.as I opened It I was met with a sympathetic looking Nick holding a gray bag. "hey girl..."he slowly said.

I'm not sure if it was just my brain trying to distract me or what but I couldn't help but notice he had dyed his hair red again. "your hair...its not blonde anymore..."I quietly said.my words making Nick smile

"Yeah I know, just kinda felt like another change, i don't know.do you like it?"he questioned.

"I love it, looks really cool man.''I answered, tired eyes looking at him and realizing he was still outside. "oh shit sorry"I said while moving out of the way. as he stepped into my house I made eye contact with Matt who had most likely been waiting for Nick to go into my house.I waved to him with a small smile as he reciprocated through his car window.

I sighed heavily as I shut the door.remembering what happened earlier. "Okay so I got you red bull, skinny pop, oreos, mints and Lindt chocolate, oh and I got nerds for myself, you can have some though."Nick said once he walked over to my kitchen table, placing the items on said table as he listed them.I don't know how he remembers what I like to eat when I'm sad but this does happen a lot I guess.

I put my head in my hands and let out a deep breath.trying to unwind somehow.a ping was then heard from across the table.i knew it was Nick because my phone had been left upstairs. "Oh God, look who it is."Nick said as he turned his phone to face me. it was Ashley.she had sent him something on snap.

'half swipe it."I said as I made my way around the table, peering over his shoulder to see his screen.

"I don't know how."he responded, panicking.

"Just pull it from the left." I tried to explain.my help wasn't very useful though because he opened it instead. 'Are you mad at me?' read the message "is she fucking stupid.of course your mad at her?"

"She is stupid, that's why she looks like that.im just gonna say no to see what she says."the boy next to me said as he typed out 'no' followed up by 'why would I be mad at you?'.

she immediately opened the message and began typing "wow I'm surprised she opened that fast, probably cause she has no life."I snakily said as we both watched her bitmoji type.

''Oh bc of what happened with y/n the other day. 'she clarified. He was about to start typing again before she beat him to it. 'yk when she was a psycho bitch for no reason' was the next message. "psycho bitch?!oh I'll show her a psycho bitch!"I said as I shot up from my leaned over position on the counter. walking angrily towards my front door.

"y/n you are not going to fight her right now, especially not when you look like that.'' Nick reasoned as he set his phone down. "just forget about her.she's just an irrelevant cunt that has nothing better to do with her life but hate." the red-head said.

he was right.i don't know why I cared what she thought.but when I really think about it,I don't.i couldn't give less then a fuck about how she saw me.it was Chris' opinion I cared about.i wanted him to think I was beautiful, funny and kind.i wanted him to think i was perfect.i wanted him to be able to see me over Ashely.

"did Chris say anything about me?"I asked.switching topics to something more relevant in my head. The face he made when I said this made my stomach drop.Mainly because I knew how mean Chris could get at times and considering what had happened earlier tonight I don't think he said anything good.

"Do you want what he should've said or what he did say?"he asked as I made my way back to my previous placement.

"Tell me what he actually said."I answered.feeling like I was taking a leap of faith.but I knew if I wasn't told the truth then I would never have a chance of getting over this man.

"he was all like 'it went horrible, it’s not even my fault though, she’s being an inane bitch and is trying to make me choose between her and ash.she needs to get over herself.'"Nick said, mimicking Chris' voice to make it more light hearted.it was a little funny but the words made my eyes well up with tears nonetheless.

I was feeling so many different things.sadness, anger, stress but most of all betrayal.i mean he said it wasn't even his fault basically saying it was mine.my fault for being upset for a little bit.he would rather call me an insane bitch then just admit he was wrong and stop being friends with Ashley.that fat pig.

"what!?Ugh I hate him so much!!Why do I even like him?He treats me like shit,never listens and is always on top of other girls?!I don't even think I've heard him say he loves me in like 3 months!? do you think he's cheating?oh my God he probably is!"I rambled on.placing my head in my arms at the end of my words.i slowly began to sob into my own arms.once Nick heard my sobs he hugged my hunched over back.

"no don't say that.he's obviously not cheating on you."he reassured.his words didn't do much though because my cries only got louder and more emotional.my best friend ushered me up so he could hug me normally.i pulled away from the hug  once I was able to actually breath.looking up at Nick with tired, sad,eyes.thankful for him being here but also embarrassed for crying over his brother. "wanna watch a movie?" the boy sympathetically asked.i nodded a small yes before I grabbed all my snacks and headed over to the couch.

watching the movie was a good distraction for some time.but nonetheless I found myself thinking of him. how much I missed him and just wishing he was here right now.im not going to apologize though.I did nothing wrong no matter what he thinks.so if that means that we never speak again then I'm fine with that.oh who am I kidding, I'm definitely not fine with that.

✧THE NEXT DAY, SUNDAY

'come over please' and 'I miss you' were the two messages I had been staring at for at least five minutes.the sender being chris made this all the more strange and confusing.i mean he was just calling me an insane bitch yesterday and now he wants me to come over.but for some reason I caved.maybe he wanted to apologize or something.

I threw a zip up over my lace tank top and tied my gray sweatpants.sliding my crocs on as I stepped outside started walking to my car.

Once I began driving I found myself more fidgety in anticipation than what felt like ever before.fingers tapping against the steering wheel rhythmically and constant glancing at the ETA were I knew this.

As I entered the house using my key I felt anxiety rush over me.Matts keys weren't here and neither was Nick's jacket which he never leaves the house without during this time of the year.meaning that it was only the two of us in this house.

My footsteps felt heavy as I walked down to his room.something I had done many times now feeling unfamiliar.I knocked on his bedroom door lightly once I approached it. though as the door was opened I wasn't even aloud a greeting before he placed his hands on my hips and smashed his lips onto mine hungrily.i wish I could say I rejected the kiss but I couldn't.it was like he had put a spell on me.

he walked backwards as we eventually crashed onto his bed.i straddled over his lap as I deepened kiss.he swiftly flipped me over onto my back and moved me so I was sat up a little.i took the hint and unzipped my hoodie, throwing it off to the side while trying my best not to break the kiss.

he then removed my tank top.now revealing my bare chest to him "no bra huh?so you are still my slut." he said as a smirk formed on his lips.

"I was actually about to go to bed but whatever you wanna believe."I retorted.

"do you want me to fuck you or not?"he questioned, looking into my eyes.i stayed silent though.letting the wetness between my legs make my decisions. "that's what I thought."he darkly said. pale arms taking his own shirt off.toned body now all in view for me.

"you know what to do.''was my signal to take my pants off.i undid the tie on my sweats and slid them off.leaving my white laced panties on. "sit up and go on the side of the bed"he demanded.i did as he said.sitting on my knees a on the side of the bed I was closer to.he then came around to the side I was facing.once he was directly in front of me he dropped his baggy jeans and boxers at once, cock springing free.all 8 inches now stood in front of me.his pink tip leaking pre-cum.

I looked up at him innocently.as if I had never done this before.i then, on instinct, began to pump him with my hand slowly.my actions making his breath hitch.i placed my lips on the tip and began to lower my head.pace increasing every time I brought my head up.eventually his hands made their way to my hair and began to push my head into his cock roughly. "fuck just like that.keep going.use that perfect little mouth for something good for once."he harshly spat out looking down at me as he said that.i ignored his words though and continued to suck him off.

This feeling being lost on me for almost a week made my throat sting pleasurably.his grip on my hair tightened which told he was close.the signal making me go faster.if even possible.small whimpers fell from his cherry lips as I continued to work. “Oh God yes,please I’m…I’m almost there”he mumbled out, the words working as encouragement for me to keep going.then without warning I felt his cum shoot itself into my mouth.the salty savory flavor touched my taste buds as I swallowed.

Once he came down from his own high he looked down at me.i kept my eyes on his.looking up like a lost puppy. "fuck your so hot" he said as he grabbed my middle area and situated me on my back and so I was on his bed longways.once he laid down with me he whispered "sit on my lap baby"

I complied and did as he said.placing myself more on his legs then his actual lap because I knew he wouldn't be that easy. "you want me to fuck you?"he asked.i nodded 'yes' in response. looking down at him with pleading eyes even though I was on top right now. "use your words.you had so much to say before, what happened to that?"he teased.

"please chris just fuck me, ive been waiting for days!"I squealed out.thankful there was nobody else home right now. 

"good girl.."he hissed out.his words being my command to lift my hips up and hover over his cock.then without warning he thrusted up into me after lining himself up with my entrance.the sudden feeling making me yelp.he continued to buck his hips up into mine as I bounced simultaneously, placing my fingertips on his chest for some sort of stabilization.

moans that were higher pitched than my actual voice spilled out of my mouth along with swears and small pleads.my body was hot as I went up and down on him.his hands were at my waist, guiding my every move harshly. The pale boy grabbed my waist hard, making me wince at the pleasure mixed with pain.the idea that the boy who I was crying over last night was ramming himself into me right now made me feel guilty.but I can't help it.his touch is intoxicating.

my jaw fell open as pornographic noises flowed from my lips.eyes screwing shut and head being now hung low.i was so caught up in myself that I didn't even register the small whimpers coming from the boy underneath me. The noises being my key to realize he really did miss me.at least a part of me. "keep going baby, don't stop, i'm gonna-"I rambled on before being cut off by my own already familiar noises

"Me too..shit.."he whispered.

"chris fuck fuck fuuuuck"I strung out as I came undone on top of him.laying my body on his as he thrusted up into me again,chasing his own high. Whiny whimpers made their way into my ear as I felt him twitch inside of me.knowing he was close I decided to tease him a little by kissing his neck and leaving a trail of hickeys.my sensitive body not mattering at all to either of us.

"fuck baby" he groaned out as I felt his load shoot into me, coating my insides.we sat there in silence.sweaty bodies catching their breath.once we calmed ourselves he pulled me off him and situated me so I was laying on my side, facing the boy who replicated my current position."lemme get you a towel."he said before promptly getting up, putting his boxers on, and doing as he said.

When he came back and cleaned me up I couldn't help but stare at him.all his features slithering into my eyes. "Can I have a shirt?"I asked softy.not wanting to put my tank top back on because of the temperature.he only hummed an ‘mhm’ before tossing me a random black shirt with a white design on it.

"Can we talk? ''he awkwardly said as we both were now sat up and at least partially clothed. I nodded my head to signify I was listening."listen y/n im...im really sorry about earlier.i was a dick and I shouldn't have acted like that.i know you don't like Ashley and i'm totally fine with dropping her.i would rather lose her then you any day and i'm so sorry if I made you feel otherwise.a-and if your ever upset again don't be afraid to say something cause I promise I won't act like a dick again."he nervously rambled on.

I wish I had it in me to stay mad at him but I couldn't.i know this apology was just so I wouldn't leave him lonely and he would pull something stupid in a few weeks.but I can't help it.i'm in love with him and there's nothing I can do about it.

✧MONDAY MORNING

my eyes screwed shut almost immediately after they fluttered open, the bright sunlight causing this.i turned my head around to the best of my abilities to see if chris was awake and it didn't seem like it. I turned my head back and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. "you're finally awake."Chris said from behind me,startling me a little.

I hummed a small 'mhm' before trying to get up but to my dismay he pulled me back down to my previous spot. "I have to pee."I giggled.

"pee later"he mumbled, pulling me closer if possible.

"yea no thank you"I said before breaking out of his limp arms grasp and standing up to go to the bathroom.taking a mental note of my sore legs from last night.

"I see you limping!"he teased once I got into the bathroom.

"oh fuck off"I lightly shouted back.once I washed my hands I began walking towards his door, the idea of food in mind.

"Where are you going?"he asked from his now sat up place.holding himself up on his elbows.

"I'm hungry"I said while throwing on my sweatpants that had been tossed here last night.

When I got up the stairs Nick turned his head to me.shock and disappointment coated his face. "Okay I thought we agreed you hated him?"he questioned.Keeping his voice low knowing Chris was still in the house.

"ugh I know but he texted me last night and told me to come over and then one thing led to another and...look he apologized."I tried to reason.nick though, was not having any of this.i made my way over to the fridge and grabbed my strawberry smoothie from Thursday that had been left here by accident.Taking a sip from it while I turned around to face my best friend again.

"yea and he apologized last time, and the time before that, and the time before that.you have to let him go y/n.he's not good for you."Nick explained to me.I know he was right but I couldn't just get over him.I wasn't the type of person to just get over stuff like that.

"Well last night seemed genuine, okay?I seriously think he meant it.''I said before footsteps were heard coming from chris' bedroom which ended me and Nick's conversation.

Chris hugged me from behind and kissed the top of my head.nick shot me a "you need help" look and I couldn't do much besides give him a "yea I know" look back.the brothers began conversing but it was more like background music to me.

I know nick is right, he’s not good for me.but I can't help it.everytime I look into his eyes I feel like i'm sinking deeper in this pit of love I dug so long a ago for him.i hated that I loved him and how I knew he was gonna do me wrong.but with his arms wrapped around me like they were right now I can't help but leave that as a problem for future me.

The fact that I’ll never actually be able to date and eventually marry any of my celebrity crushes keeps me up at night

★𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞

Matt x fem!reader

Proofread:mhm

Word count:1443

WARNINGS:drinking/being drunk, cheating,physical abuse mentioned,depression themes,self destructive reader,reader is kinda dumb at the end tho

A/N:I don’t think Matt would ever do this but idrc.I wanted to write some sad angst shit yk.anyways yea I don’t think Matt would ever cheat or hit his gf so like don’t come after me.Also tysm for 50 followers!!kinda crazy since i only started writing on here abt a month ago but yea, TYYY💗💗

𖦹 𖦹

No thoughts consumed my head as I took another swig of vodka.the tv was on but I wasn’t tuned in.i’d been on this couch for God knows how long.my legs feel numb.another sip.

Food would be scarce if I was hungry.eating never crossing my mind which was only replaying what had gone down two days ago.me and Matt got into a fight.not just any fight.he hit me.not just a small grab or a light smack on the arm,he full on smacked me across the face.another sip

I was shocked at first but my shock turned into anger.what we were fighting about in the first place was trivial now.I had been holding back at first but him striking me set me loose.I screamed at him louder than I think I ever have.nonsense spilling from my lips.another sip.

He was stunned by my rage filled yelling.only whispering small ‘sorry’s and ‘are you okay’s.I never got angry at Matt.he could step on my heart and crush it into a million pieces and I wouldn’t be that mad.well that’s what I thought until yesterday.I’m so stupid.another sip

I found messages.messages between him and another girl.one he called “my love” and “princess”.the guy who I thought was the sweetest boy and was the best boyfriend I could ever ask for was actually a lying ,cheating douche bag.it’s my fault for falling for him.another sip.

I was so stuck in my own head that I didn’t hear the front door open. “Y/nnnn” as all I heard.the sudden voice would normally make me jolt my head towards it but I found that nearly impossible with the state I was in.another sip

Matt stepped into view.now in front of me.he gave me a look.I couldn’t tell if it was disgust or sympathy.I didn’t know anything about him anymore. “What”I slurred out.another sip

“Have you been drinking?”Matt asked.dumb question for someone who was smart enough to hide another woman from me for months.

“Yea no shit genius,fuck do you want”I spat out sharply.

“I want to talk”he answered.his fist clenched as he said this.

“Get out Matt ''I barely got out as I smiled drunkenly.I don’t know why I was smiling.just felt right.

“No I’m not getting out, we need to talk and you need to sober up so we can have a proper conversation like grown adults” Matt said as I took another sip.I tilted my head back and he snatched the bottle out of my hand.

“Fuck you Matt”I flipped him off as my head went farther back into the arm rest of the couch.

“I’m not gonna let you destroy yourself, this is like the worst version of you”he said, frustration filling his voice.

“You bring out the worst of me baby”I replied.my response making Matt go silent.he ignored my comment.not saying anything as he bent down to pick me up bridal style.i was too tired to protest against this.

Matt mumbled some incoherent side comments under his breath.I didn't care enough to ask for him to repeat himself. "where are we going"i said lightly as i placed my head on his chest, my neck too weak to support the weight of my own head.

"You need a shower, you smell like vodka and sweat"Matt answered my question.he was probably right.i haven't really moved off the couch in at least a day. "can you stand?" he followed up as we entered the bathroom.

"probably not"i said with a slight huff coming out my nose.barely laughing at my own joke.he didn't say anything in response,lightly setting me down.i stabilized myself on his shoulder as to not fall over.once i caught my balance i let go of him.now being able to stand up straight.

"ill uh turn around so you can get undressed if you want" matt said wearily.not to get into any detail but we've been dating for 4 years, he's seen me naked before.so i said just that.

"i dont really give a fuck, i mean youve seen me naked before, not like much has changed in 6 days"i said,the alcohol making me more bold.if i we're sober then i wouldve mumbled a small 'no it’s ok..'

I pulled my white tank top off weakly.my arms and fingertips were asleep. "how you been?" matt asked as i took of my pj pants.i gave him a full blank stare.he knew how i'd been doing. "right, sorry, dumb question" he backtracked

"listen y/n i'm sorry about-"matt started before i cut him off annoyed "can we talk about this later, i just wanna take a shower right now"

“Yea thats…that’s fine”the blue eyed boy said as he left the bathroom,closing the door on his way out so i could clean off my body in privacy.

𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫

I shivered as I stepped out the warm shower into the cold which had been awaiting me.I was now sobering up.becoming more aware of my surroundings and what i was actually doing.

After I dried off I began to put on the clothes Matt had left out for me.not even noticing him doing that earlier.I got goosebumps as I pulled the hoodie he left out for me over my head and onto my body.I couldn’t help but realize it was his hoodie.

I wiggled into my pajama pants and began to do my hair like normal.my skin care was the same routine as always too.nothing abnormal,

Once I was done I walked over to the door and opened it attentively.my eyes were met with Matt sitting on my bed scrolling through his phone.I didn't say anything though.simply walking over to him and laying down next to him awkwardly.

He set his phone down once I sat on the bed. “How do you feel?”the taller boy asked while looking at me.I muttered a small ‘better’ as I began staring off into the distance.wondering how the fuck I got here in life

“Listen y/n im so so sorry for everything I’ve done to you.cheating was stupid and I realize that.I blocked her on everything.the only girl I want is you I swear”Matt started “I mean your litterly perfect and I know this is cheesy but I’m so in love with you God I mean I wake up everyday thinking about you and I go to bed at night doing the same.your the only girl I’ve ever felt this way for.I couldn’t even bare the last 2 days away from you.the whole time I was sat in bed missing your laugh,and your eyes, and your personality,fuck I missed you.I thought I would be ok but I was so so wrong.please y/n forgive me,I seriously can’t live without you”he finished off

I took a moment to respond.not exactly knowing what to say. “Well then why did you hit me?”I said blankly. “If all of that is true then why did you hit me?” I questioned again, now going into more detail.

“I-I don’t know, something just came over me.you know how I am sometimes.please y/n I really do love you.there’s nothing I want to do more then spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Can I just think about this please,this is kinda a lot to take in and I’m really tired right now.''I said, excusing myself from this whole conversation.

“Yes of course”the boy next to me said as he began to get up and leave.I wasn’t going to say anything and just let him leave as if I don't care.but that wasn't the truth.and I feel like we’ve had enough lies between each other the last few days.

“Can you stay please,I’ve missed you too”I caved in honestly.

“Oh sure”he replied hesitantly as he walked back to his previous spot.we don't say anything else from there.simply laying down and getting as close together as possible.I missed this, and even though I can’t read minds I think he missed this as well.

★𝐎𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐚

Chris sturniolo x fem!reader

Proofread:Yupp

Word count:559

WARNINGS:nothing!

A/N:this is pt2 of love birds so if you haven’t read that then you should bc it’s like the set ip for this, also it’s just rlly cute so yea.btw I’m working on the pt2 for ‘jealous girl’ I swear, I just don’t know how to end it rlly😭

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“Jesus it’s cold as fuck in here, can someone turn the heat on” I asked once I got in my seat.i don’t even know how the two boys were in here for so long.it was like 30 degrees.Boston winters are too much sometimes

“Nah cause the heaters super loud and the camera will probably pick it up.”Matt responded as he set up the camera in question.I didn’t want to be rude so I just nodded and opened my phone to answer some snaps while Matt placed the camera on the dashboard and went outside to check if we were in focus.

“You can have my hoodie, I don’t really need it.”Chris suggested, probably not realizing the camera was on.before I could even answer he was taking his sweatshirt off and passing it back to me.

I thanked him as I slid it on.the smell of cologne hit my nose almost immediately. “Cold as fuck out there jeez”Matt huffed as he got back into the car.

“It’s not that bad”Nick, who was decked out in warm clothing, responded.

It had been about 5 minutes now and I realized that I hadn’t opened either one of my drinks yet.when I was in the store I didn’t realize that the Fanta I had picked up was in a can,meaning I couldn’t open it due to my nails.

“Matt, can you open this?'' I asked over Chris and Nick bickering back and forth about if dogs were really dumb or not.normally I would’ve turned to my right and just asked Nick but I didn’t want to interrupt this sibling bonding moment he was having.

Matt didn’t respond in words.only showing me his freshly painted nails which were black and white.there was no use in asking Nick seeing as he was knee deep in his run-on sentence at the moment.

Chris, who was actively making fun of his brother, was my last option. Just as he was about to yell back at Nick I tapped his shoulder.halting his sentence.he turned his head back to look at me.

“Can you open this for me”I said in a regular tone in contrast to everyone else in the car.his face softened once he saw me.his hyper,loud personality dropped as he answered my question.

“Yea sure”he said in a normal voice as well.his actions were simple.he grabbed the can, popped it open and then handed it back to me.such small,basic movements but charming nonetheless.

We were now on the outro.Matt had grabbed the camera and turned it towards Chris, expecting him to do something weird like he always does.but instead of that he was turned around again,talking to me.

“Did you do something new with your hair,it looks nice.''was all he said.no more than 15 words but enough to turn me a flushed color.

The look in his pale eyes was genuine.not a glimpse of anything but the truth in them.something I wasn’t used to with him.we would make fun of each other constantly.compliments either way we’re weird.maybe if he saw how I felt for him and we became something more they wouldn’t be as rare as they were right now.

★𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝𝐬

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Word count:540

Proofread:yesss

WARNINGS:tooth rotting,feet kicking flufff

A/N:i wanna do like a small pt2 to this of just chris being a little cutie pie like in the video but idrk yet.

𖦹 𖦹

"still don't know what you want?" my best friend Chris asked, coming up behind me.he most likely wondered this because of the indecisive state i was in, attempting to make the choice between dr pepper and orange fanta.

"I don't know what to get, I want them both '' I replied,still staring at the drinks. "ughhh why am I like this? '' I said, turning around with a stressed out pout.

"I don't know man but you gotta be quick cause Matt and Nick are already in the car" he said, blue eyes staring back at me.I hated that I was holding everyone up but I seriously just couldn't decide.

"what do you think i should get" i said finally just wanting to get out of the CVS.

"I think you should just get both," he said back with the smallest smirk.

"Well I can't afford to get both and my candy" I quickly replied matter of factly.

chris gave me a 'are you serious' look and answered my problem with "its fine ill pay for you".i will admit i do have like a pretty big crush on chris.so seeing him just immediately offer to pay for me made my cheeks heat up.to my demise chris noticed this reaction i had and sarcastically said "what you never had someone pay for you or something?"

"Well yea I mean not really, it's just never something that comes up when I'm with friends...''I said nervously, avoiding eye contact with the boy in front of me.

"well remind me next time we go to dinner"he replied as he began walking to the register at the tilt of his head.i followed after him with a large smile painted on my face.my heart began beating faster as i caught up to him until i was finally next to him.we had walked next to each other countless times but this time was different.this time i felt things i hadn't felt before.

Once we made it to the register I placed the drinks and snacks on the counter, Chris doing the same a second later.as the scrawny teenage boy began scanning the assortment of foods I saw Chris pull out his wallet out of the corner of my eye.his silver nails pulling out his card.

After we paid we grabbed the bags and left.the parking lot was surprisingly busy for it being so late at night.cars zooming past us as we waited on the sidewalk. While we waited for someone to let us cross Chris grabbed my hand on instinct and walked across the street with me at a regular pace.

My head had been down but I shot it up once I heard Nick scream "hurry up lovebirds, we've been waiting forever" from the car with his phone pointed at us.my face was heating up again at the name he had given us.

"oh fuck off"chris said back as we got closer to the car.i expected for him to have an upset look on his face but to my shock he was smiling that same stupid smile that made me fall in love with him.the one that makes me smile 10x more.

★𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐠-𝐦𝐚𝐧

Triplets x fem!reader|platonic|

Proofread: eh sorta

Word count:611

WARNINGS: swearing!reader is mentioned as having a light skinned brother,if that doesn’t make sense like for you then he’s your step brother.also reader is mentioned as dating Chris but it’s not big to the storyline.ok ALSO nick says like “both my brothers”but he just means Chris and Matt😁👍

A/N: been wanting to do sum where Nick is actually a prominent character so here you goooo

𖦹 𖦹

The awkward silence in the video needed to be filled.especially since the topic of conversation, old crushes.“Nick had a crush on my brother”I blurted out.chris and Matt laughing at the comment and its abruptness.it was true though.

I wasn’t surprised when he told me he liked my brother.He was sorta nicks type I suppose.curly hair,lightskin,goes to the gym.he was a ladies man too, always having a girl with him.most of my friends have liked him at some point in time so this news wasn’t shocking.

“Bitch you had a crush on both my brothers”Nick retorted.The claim caused the boys in the front to turn around sharply.

“Wait what?!”Chris asked, shocked.

“I thought you guys knew this.”I said with my face heating up.I could’ve sworn we’ve had this conversation before

“Uhm no we didn’t”Chris,my current boyfriend said, matter of factly.

“I liked Matt in like junior year, and well obviously I like you your my boyfriend”I confessed.I knew Chris wasn’t actually upset.he was just being dramatic for the camera,and probably cause he felt like it too.

“Wait I’m sorry I just processed this, you liked HER brother?!?”Matt was shocked as well.The boy's reaction was insane to me seeing as I thought they were already aware of all of this.

“What's that supposed to mean?”I budded in.my response made Matt laugh.

“Nothing I just didn’t think Julian was his type,like at all”Matt said putting his hands up in his own defense “yes he is hello?”i said back. “You think I don’t know my own brothers type?”matt responded

“You didn’t know I liked y/hc girls”Chris said,proving my point.I gestured toward Chris to show how he was proving my point.

“Ok we’ll in my defense-” Matt began before I cut him off “guys do not believe shit that Matt is saying,nick likes light skin curly head dudes over the age of 18, go hit him uppp!!”i said hyperactively

“WOAH WOAH Y/N.” Nick said loudly as he put his hand over my mouth to silence me.at this point everyone else besides the two of us were dying laughing.

“I’m literally your wingman dude like trust me.''I began “you've been single for way too long”I said as I looked at him.Nick was holding in his laugh like crazy.

“Ok Matt your next, what do you like fuckin Pokémon?” I asked jokingly.not getting a response from Matt.only laughing being heard coming from him as he covered his face. “Ok so Matt wants to fuck Pikachu guys so if your over the age of 18 and look like that than slide into his dm’s ”I continued too joke around.

My laughs were threatening to join everyone else in the car but I had to keep the bit up. “Alright guys so vote me #1 wingman in the world, I’m out” I said as I flicked the sunglasses from the dollar tree down to cover my eyes and stepped out of the car.

“Where is she going?”Chris said weakly.Nick pulled out his phone to record me running away through the open door.Once I felt that I had gone far enough away I scurried back to the car,cold and scared of the dark parking lot.

“That was a bad idea”I said as I sat back down in the car, rubbing my arms roughly for friction and eventually heat.my actions making everyone in the car,including me ,laugh again

Hey lovely I js found ur account and I was wondering if there's gonna be a part 2 to jealous girl? Or is there already one?

Yup the pt2 is this!💗

YALL ITS HAPPENING.SOUND THE ALARMS!!!!!