What if Bruce actually gives the best hugs but barely anyone (except Cass, Alfred and Dick) knows this. Bruce thinks he sucks at hugs because no one ever asks for them.
YOOO WHAT, dude you're not gonna fucking believe it but that's literally the first headcanons I ever wrote in my headcanon list, wait let me get the actual thing I wrote
Here it is, anyway Bruce is a great hugger and his family wishes he would hug them more
OKAY SO I FOUND OUT BRUCE DOES THIS SHIT β¬οΈ THANKS TO THIS POST
And you cannot convince me he doesn't use it to protect his birds when they're in danger. Something's been tossed at one of his kids? He tackles them and cocoons them up with him for safety without hesitation. You could almost call it a panic response, if you could get him to admit that he panics.
Their reactions:
Dick: "I've been doing this nearly as long as you have, remember? I could have dodged that, but I appreciate it." Or "If you wanted a hug, dad, you just had to ask."
Cass: if she's in a good mood she's okay with it. A bad mood and he gets glared at and pinched because she can handle this dad, come on.
Jason: always starts cursing and wiggling around trying to get free before begrudgingly settling down and just accepting it. Never minds it as much as he says he does. Bruce would hug you more often if you weren't allergic to admitting you want him to you silly boy (he gets cocooned a lot so Bruce can hug him anyway).
"Are you alright, son?"
"god DAMN it old man!! Let me go!!!"
"I can't yet until I know you won't be in immediate danger."
"ARRRGHHH"
"Jaylad, I'm just trying to keep you safe."
"I don't need you to--!"
"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you again."
"..........." Sigh. Cue a little more wiggling and an intentional elbow to B's ribs as Jay gets comfortable. His siblings are gonna tease him mercilessly later, he just knows it.
Steph: spends the time roasting him into oblivion and annoying him in the hopes he'll stop doing it; has yet to learn that he does, in fact, value her safety and well-being over his pride. Shocking, I know.
Tim: grew up pretty touch starved so while he finds it annoying, he also doesn't complain beyond a bit of half hearted grumbling because by god he needs the hugs.
"was this really necessary?"
"yes"
"π"
"How did you--"
Duke: What is this??? What is happening??? Why's it dark??? Straight up blinds Bruce in surprise every time which just leads to him being cocooned longer because now Bruce has to recover before he can tell if it's safe.
"Son, your powers are incredible and we're very proud of you but please don't use them on me"
"Sorry B, my bad."
"I'll admit that's a useful startle response though."
"Right?? Some asshole at school tried to sneak up behind me as a joke and had to go to the nurse and I didn't even touch him."
"Hn."
"Uh, I mean, I don't use my powers at school at all. Ever."
Damian: gets cocoon tackled the most because baby. That's his baby, people are throwing things AT HIS BABY--! Fucking HATES it. Will straight up start gnawing on Bruce's arm if cocooned too long.
"FATHER RELEASE ME AT ONCE"
"Not until it's safe"
"I WAS TRAINED BY--"
"I don't care."
A sulking puppy for a little while that will never admit to enjoying the affection, but still, only for so long. There is a quota and once it's reached, It's like Bruce has trapped himself with a rabid raccoon.
Why are his children like this.
Based on a conversation I had with my friends today
Dick: Why are you crying?
Tim, crying: I just rewatched TASM 2 and Gwen didn't deserve that
Jason: [on his phone walking by] and you have a chemistry test tomorrow
Tim: [wailing harder] and I have a chemistry test tomorrow
He should shatter his spinal cord
As a treat :)
jason todd should get to shoot the joker.
as a treat.
Jason should be able to bend all of the jokers joints (yes ALL of them) backwards
As a treat π
i drew this and it looks adorable ngl
Ok but pattinson!batman in the justice league would be hilarious. like he would be a stoic, confident, strong minded scary leader who would be quiet and smart and everyone would respect him but than if he had to take of the cowl he would be some young guy with make up, unable to make eye contact, stammering about and nearly bursting into tears immediately because people could see him
obsessed with the idea that bruce acts like lucille bluth when he's being airheaded socialite brucie wayneπ
here's a bonus brucie with reporter clark kent:
Bruce fall in love
i am a private person who doesnβt like talking about their life but who also compulsively overshares at any given opportunity. hope that helps
Damian: [trying to stab tim]
Tim: [yelling] where did he get a knife?!
Jason: [reading a book] from the kitchen π