I Really Loved You, You Know?

took a while to find a haircut and outfit for this weird little freak that walks the fine line of cunty and servant of eldritch horror

bonus, edited to silly size

“It’s very important to me you understand that no action I have taken has been controlled. I have done everything because I wished to.”

Jonny Sims: *kills off all your favs brutally*

Also, jonny Sims: "The cat lives. I'm saying this now because I don't want people to worry the cat dies. We don't do that here"

Rewatching TMA and getting to Arachnophobia is a lot funnier when you imagine Jon just having war flashbacks as he reads through this, like, no WONDER the poor man thought that it was some kind of prank

“Can you be haunted by the ghost of the spider that destroyed your childhood ?”

I don’t know, Jon, CAN you ?

Statement of Dolly Parton regarding…”Jolene”

win for traumatised individuals! local eldritch horror is here to rip it all out free of charge

oogh. augh

[check under cut for more]

Hello, Jon.

Apologies for the deception, but I wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself.

I’m assuming you’re alone; you always did prefer to read your statements in private. I wouldn’t try too hard to stop reading; there’s every likelihood you’ll just hurt yourself. So just listen.

Now, shall we turn the page and try again?

Look, TMA is a workplace comedy, but relistening just adds an extra flavor to it. You get moments like Elias telling Jon not to cross the Lukas family and its all ominous and sinister and threatening but then you meet Peter Lukas and he turns out to be a depressed 60 year old man with social anxiety who's trapped in a situationship with a centuries old corpse possessing a stoner so he can cosplay middle management until his apocalypse idea takes off