Thank You All, Now I Know What To Look Out For.

this is probably the cutest thing I've ever read on my dashboard.

Today I saw a leaf that looked like a frog and I was like haha nice and then it hopped because it WAS a frog and I started crying bc life is really full of everyday miracles including but not limited to experiencing frogs

lifehacks from the greatest

ways i have tricked people into thinking i am competent:

bought a really nice looking fountain pen

that sounds like a joke but fountain pens are cheap as shit and when you use one people look at you like you’re a fucking wizard

this hero 901 cost me $3 on ebay and i don’t know why people assume that this is a pen for intelligent people but they do

it works better when i am using a nice notebook and not the avengers notebook that makes it look like the hulk is grabbing my sweet pen

i write in code which for some reason leads everyone to assume that i am some kind of da vinci motherfucker, instead of the reality, which is that i am writing about dicks and don’t want anyone to know

it looks like i am constantly taking notes on everything which is both intimidating and inaccurate, just the way i like it

i bought a usb clicker/laser pointer for $11 and now it seems like i’ve got this shit on lock, like i am so pro at giving presentations i even own accessories

holding a clicker makes you seem at least 10% more like you know what you’re talking about i’m pretty sure

i check the weekly freebies on creativemarket every monday so now i have a huge folder of pro-looking website themes and powerpoint templates and fill-in-the-blank resumes (also a lot of autumnal clipart and watercolor flowers and script fonts but that is less relevant)

i bought a ceramic coffee mug at world market years ago and it makes me look like a productive coffee-drinker because no one knows it’s full of hot cocoa

i don’t know why drinking coffee makes you look busy it just does even though i’m pretty sure it statistically reduces productivity

bonus: not only does no one know i’m just drinking Depression Chocolate but they think i am being Environmentally Conscious rather than Poor As Shit

extra bonus: i can take a sip whenever it looks like someone is going to ask a question and then they ask someone else

i almost never have to answer questions and i leave the room a lot because i have to pee constantly so double extra bonus

“That’s a very good question, and one that deserves an in-depth answer, so if you’d like to leave me your card I’d be happy to discuss it with you later one-on-one” aka “how DARE you suggest i waste everyone’s time answering this question right now” aka “lmfao i have no fucking clue what you just said please let me secretly google that okay”

bonus: now it seems like you are a sophisticated grownup who assumes everyone has A Card and if they have to settle for writing their email on a scrap of paper you can feel smug about it even though in your heart you know that you are no better

i’ve got anxiety and poor impulse control and anxiety about my poor impulse control so i generally say jack shit about shit and this constant silence is often misinterpreted as aloof observation

no one knows that my air of mystery is actually a bad case of the shy and i am too shy to correct them so it works out

when i’m on my laptop and i don’t want anyone to notice how much i’m dicking around i turn the brightness way down so they can’t snoop without being obvious

at least one window of notepad++ with some random html page or css stylesheet in it makes randos assume you are some kind of genius doing some genius shit, unless they are CS major randos, in which case i guess find an intimidating looking excel spreadsheet and hope for the best

I require headcanons based off of spider-boi or else I will perish in approximately 45 time units

OH DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU!!!

Taranza and Sectonia met as children in school and they’ve been besties ever since

Taranza knows how to sew!

(Gijinka) He occasionally wears a pair of mary-janes that he and sectonia got so they could match like twins. Comfortable and stylish!

He’s not scared of storms, but he does have a bit of a discomfort with lightning and the loud booming thunder just because it’s a loud and sudden sound and he’s an anxious boi...

He’s closest with Susie, Magolor, Kirby, and Morpho.

He loves to visit the library and just pick out a book from each genre

Actually if Dreamland was a capitalist utopia where money was needed for everything, he’d probably be a librarian or a full time gardener/florist

He and Kirby sometimes make cakes together when they hang out

He has problems with remembering to eat sometimes when he gets wrapped up in reading, gardening, or on the off days when his depression isn’t as well manageable

His appetite is also really small and he hardly ever eats in big amounts even when he is aware that he’s hungry. He needs to eat-

He sometimes helps king dedede and brings him some nice tea imported from Floralia!

I’ll reblog you some more but here!! Take my Headcanons!!! Will gladly talk about the boy for 0$!!!!

-Mod Taranza, back at it again with the hyperfixations🕸

who the fuck made this

Hey. You there.

Do you think you’re safe?

Okay, so kill all of them quickly and painlessly. Got it.

Treat spiders the way you want to be treated

this is the same thing I did as a child except it was a yoyo

@divinelowblood

my third braincell at 2 AM

One of the ones me and my friends play is called "Fish Fry" which is basically the more intense form of Two Truths and a Lie. You tell three crazy stories about things that happened to you in your life that your friends or other players have never heard you talk about, and then have them guess which is a tall tale.

ok so there’s a game me and my friends play called “don’t get me started” and basically someone gives another person a random topic and they have to go on an angry rant about it and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us at parties and car rides so I highly recommend playing sometimes with your friends

oOH, BABY, I FOUND ONE-

Ok so, I have some wedding bouquets:

Pick which one (Y/n) should have.