Latest Posts by spectrum-speculation - Page 3
Ah-meen
“Nothing would mean anything if I didn’t live a life of use to others.” — Angelina Jolie
Ah so romantic
Sigh
By RedREn_레드렌
Getting ahead of myself
So it’s Monday evening and I say to myself: Good grief, it’s already Wednesday! It seems that way because I’m thinking: tomorrow I’ll have to start worrying about my Japanese class, which meets on Wednesday evening; but with that thought I realize that I’m already worrying about it now. So Tuesday is already part of Wednesday, and so is Monday. And that’s how the timeline collapses.
Poor excuse
I could have been a great success...if only I had been someone else.
Two books I got in the mail today What a great combination
quelle jolie fille
tbh i think im gonna skip uni today and go to the museum and draw instead because honestly im really not in the mood for (life) the noisy and bright illustration studio
i’d much rather see the illuminated manuscripts and walk by the river than spend 8 hours at uni in an unworkable atmosphere only to come home overloaded and exhausted i just cba!! im tired
good advice
Hey megs, if you do, how do you deal with feeling unproductive? I get sick a lot in the winter and also can’t work as much as others as I’m autistic and I never feel I am doing enough and it’s especially bad when I’m ill (I have poor attendance in college) as I try and do anything but it’s nothing and I’m not even in school. thanks :)
hi! i also struggle a lot with fluctuating health and energy levels, especially where uni and work are concerned. i try to keep myself feeling positive and motivated (and in turn productive) by tricking myself into doing fun but productive things e.g. watching a documentary when at home so that im learning while resting, going to museums to recharge and draw for fun (getting outside and learning while also getting in illustration practice), changing up my environment (healthy habit) by going to a coffee shop to work for a couple of hours instead (or if im not up to working, then to read for an hour), going to the botanic gardens for an hours walk on days when my head feels too foggy and i’m restless, etc.
i also try to be really kind to myself and mindful of my thinking habits. i work really hard to not ‘beat myself up’ mentally- if i don’t do anything at all productive in a day, i dismiss it and instead think “ok well thats happened. what can i do now to better tomorrow?” and though it was really hard at first, it’s definitely gotten easier with time and i’m hugely better off for it. there’s no point dwelling on things that have already happened.
i also try to be mindful of my autistic health (though its a bit harder because alexithymia). i try to be as productive as i can until 5pm, then in the evenings i make time for resting, stimming and engaging in special interests. i find that special interests are really important in helping me feel positive and motivated in general, so relaxing in the evenings helps me to feel much better the following day, and i always prioritise/value this time, no matter how little work i got done in the day etc (i never ‘punish’ myself for not doing well).
if i feel that i’ve had a particularly bad or unproductive day, i tend to sit down with my planner/bullet-journal for a while and just sort of dump my brain out- making lists of priorities and out-standing/unfinished work/tasks. getting it all out onto paper helps me to remember and feel more on top of my to-do list, even if i’m not actually getting /that/ much done. sometimes when i’m doing particularly badly, i’ll rewrite these lists 3 or 4 times a week + it just helps me to feel grounded and aware.
i dont know if any of this will be helpful to you but i hope it is + i wish you the best
me: *gets scared that i’m wasting my life* me: i’m gonna deal with this feeling by taking a long nap in the middle of the day
Peony and Iris by Hanne Lore Koehler
Maybe next month...
Autistic culture is being proud of yourself when you take a shower
さむい by りー
i want to be in this band
red velvet x high cut
same with other special interests
me talking about kpop to my non kpop friends
ok u know what, no more of those depressing bpd memes, lets make recovery memes a thing, here i’ll start
an inconvenience: happens my malfunctioning brain: time to die i guess me, using DBT skills i’ve learned in group therapy: it’s okay, i can work my way around this, i am a Capable Adult
words of wisdom
emotionally manipulative things you should never say to people:
“i would kill myself without you”
“everyone leaves me, don’t leave me like they did”
basically anything that guilts the other person into staying in a relationship with you
The psychological concept of mindfulness is yet another concept that I just… can’t really apply to myself? I feel like you just have to be allistic for it which is Not Good™, for the majority of anti-stress-therapy is based on it.
Anyone here in the community who made some experiences with mindfulness? If so, how tf were you able to align it with being autistic?
[Image description: a huge whirlpool of blue water with white waves and ripples. It looks like the ocean is draining out like someone pulled the stopper out of a huge bathtub. End of image description.] VORTEX DAYS A vortex day is a day where one appointment suck all your energy up for the entire day before and after. For example, today I went out for Japanese class which I really enjoy, but from the moment I wake up I have to start fighting with my own irrational negative thoughts that say: “No, it’s too difficult, it’s not worth it, no one will miss you if you don’t go, just stay home.” Then in the midst of this tug-of-war, practical preparations have to be made: my hair is a mess; where the heck is my hairbrush? Oh no, better feed the cat first. I should wash my face...but ugh, no, I don’t want to see how ugly I am. Let’s have a Klonopin and sit down for a while. Oh no, I fell asleep! I’m already late! Rush out the door tripping over things and cursing like a sailor. I do enjoy Japanese class, but when I get back the rest of the day is devoted to recovery. Curl into a ball, pull my hat over my eyes, twist and turn my tangle toy into and out of a thousand knots. Light my butterscotch scented candle, turn on the humidifier, turn on the air purifier and the white noise machine. Ah, finally I’m back in my space capsule. Expeditions to Earth take a lot out of a fragile alien visitor like me!
I know that. Oh I got a text message from the cute girl I met at anime group! She likes me!! I’m finally going to have a friend!
Two days later: Why hasn’t she texted me back? I must have said something to turn her off. I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life!
that feeling when you’re hit with a manic wave of affection and positivity that you know will pop the moment something minutely goes wrong
Beware of the hare that starts and stares in the glowing gloom of the moon!
playing with charcoal pencils in candlelight
executive dysfunction
I am a difficult person for me to manage.
autistic culture is being an adult but still having to choose every night which stuffed toy to go to bed with (and ending up with the whole pile because you love them all)
it’s noble to put others first, but remember that if you don’t take care of yourself you won’t be any use to anyone. If you disable yourself then someone has to take care of you!
Autistic culture is taking care of your friends even when you can’t take care of yourself.
real intimacy
I love when you become so close with someone that you can see parts of each other in one another and you begin to say the same things and steal lines from one another and have a similar sense of humor and can exchange an inside joke with just a glance you don’t even have to talk because you have such a strong connection with them and you can sit in comfortable silence but also talk for hours it’s really hard to find that kind of compatibility
Alhamdulillah for the flaws that keep us humble.
(via islam-reflections)
i’ve got plenty of those
yep that’s how my brain works
me: i’m going to clean my room! i’m going to take a shower! i will wake up early and take care of myself! brain: u know whats fun? rotting.
so handsome!
keira smirking with those cheekbones: im gonna give the gays everything they want