Whoever Designed The Back Cup Holders In The Benz Needs To Die

My ancestors watching me not having an allowance/not knowing proper etiquette: Peasent bitch

My flexing my head still being attached: Fuck you too lmao

What if

Ssk fic

Mmm

Yea fuck it we ball

Me? Writing an entire essay in an hour? When I had 2 WHOLE FUCKING WEEKS to write it??? I could neverrrrrrrrr

(The shit I have said to myself)

Its....So cold........I can see it...The red light at the end of the tunnel.........

Someone compared moldo to Jesus (hecame back to life) when trying to find out if his trial would count as murder or attempted murder

(They eventually determined it would be murder)

Things that happened in chemistry today:

1. Teacher said this weekend was better than any weekend he'd ever had

Why? He took his baby to this gymnastics thingy (valid)

This was rated better than:

1. When he beat an American record in pole vaulting

2. When he played in Germany for American pole vaulting

3. His wedding

4. When he took said baby home for the first time

2. A mole went 'missing' for st.patricks day

3. Said mole is apparently named Moledo (Like waldo)

4. Teacher apparently lets Moledo go out at night to catch worms n shit

5. Moledo is dead. He was murdered.

Teacher said his goodbyes to Moledo

We couldn't hear him cause he was in the courtyard and we were in the halls

6. We were sent to investigate Moledos death

7. We were the only class to sprint (If we collected the evidence cards in under 7 min we got extra credit)

RIP Moledo

He will be missed 😔

ITS A 737 BOEING

FUNNNN (SARCASTIC AS SHIT HOLY FUCK)

Going on a flight!!!!!

With an airliner I've never been on before!!!!!!!

My totally-not-flight-anxiety is having a fun day :D

I see way too many posts about being really affectionate with your friends and if you aren't hugging and kissing your friends then you don't really have friends and you should be in love with your friends a little bit and it annoys me so here's a post that shouts out non-affectionate friends. shoutout to the people who don't like affection or hugging or being super gushy with each other but still love and appreciate their friends dearly. shoutout to the people who find it really hard to be emotionally vulnerable and sweet but are still always there for you in a crisis. shoutout to people who don't have to be hugging you constantly to prove that they care about you

gas pumps are sexual in the way that gasoline smells so good and the nozzles are inherently phallic yet society says you cant do anything about that

A very rare sighting of this DOA trio

kasane teto I love you more than anything