Im A Fucking Sucker For The “character Gets So Badly Injured That They Can’t Think Clearly And Start

The Baron hitting a weed pen while he watches Feyd fight in the arena gets me every time. The heir to his whole thing is in danger of being gutted like a fish in front of a cheering crowd and he's just ripping a fuckin cherry-flavored melted diamonds cart and going "damn bro this fight is intense"

My Blood Meridian Headcanons Masterpost, order of appearance

Under the cut, see here for my collection of every physical description (or lack thereof) for each major character

The Kid

refuses to shave his shitty teenager mustache wispy silliness and is in denial about how unfinished it is (except for the one time he was kind of made to for a formal occasion)

never can really grow a proper beard, even in middle age, always patchy

bites his nails

light brown, mouse-colored hair

blue eyes

freckles

never had a proper haircut til Chihuahua due to childhood neglect

matted hair before and later after

5.1ft/1.55448m (childhood malnutrition)

Holden

abnormally unaffected by alcohol but consumes it anyway as a social thing

walking around naked was initially a result of him just being incalculably ancient (pre-clothes) and having no internalized sense of modesty due to this, but this soon became a power play similar to Lyndon Baines Johnson's behavior (look up LBJ Jumbo)

everyone's teeth are pretty disgusting, except for his, which are unusually pristine

he maintains his teeth with chewing-sticks and rinses with urine (both of these are ancient practices that are proven to be effective, albeit repulsive to modern sensibilities)

every item of clothing he wears is tailored (otherwise, how would anything fit him?), and his footwear is custom-made (meaning they have distinct lefts and rights to begin with, unlike many premade and military-issued footwear at the time, which had to be broken in and developed lefts and rights over time being worn)

files his nails meticulously and often, keeping them uniformly oval

has gone by the forenames Abernathy and William at times

knows classical Latin not just in the phrases he uses but to the extent of fluency, as well as classical Greek and Hebrew (common scholarly pursuits for men of means at the time)

red-pink eyes

Toadvine

surprisingly low alcohol tolerance

limited mobility in the areas of his face near where he was branded, the skin just doesn't stretch, resulting in limited expression

the sides of his head are not completely flat, he has lumpy bits of flesh and cartilage where his ears were unevenly cut and burn scars from when the wounds were cauterized

due to the burns from cauterizing, his hearing is slightly affected, but generally clear, and he makes up for it by being observant to the slightest sound

he only grew his hair long after his ears were docked, more to push it back and jumpscare people with his ear stumps than out of any insecurity (ego death long ago)

from Kentucky (the surname Toadvine is most common there, and he has canonically never seen the sea until the chapter where he visits California)

black-brown eyes

6.1ft/1.85928m

born 1821

Glanton

files his nails carelessly and somewhat square just so they don't get long and break

knee problems that he just tries to tough out, but he massages them at night when he thinks no one sees

Irish ancestry (his surname is most common in the US as well as Ireland, where it is rare and held only by Catholics, according to census data)

from Georgia (his surname is most common there)

long eyelashes

5.5ft/1.6764m

born 1804

White Jackson

Cajun, looks down on Creoles of color, valuing his culture higher and fearing being lumped in with Creoles of color (Cajuns in Louisiana are Creole, but not all Creoles are Cajun, Cajuns are a White, French-speaking ethnic group descended from settlers in Acadia, Canada from primarily West-Central France who were forced out of Canada by the British, many eventually resettling in Louisiana)

his name at birth was Jean (French variant of John), but others say it as John

his family was poor, and he was looked down on for being Cajun

his aggressive racism is a result of deep insecurity and a need to feel superior (NOT JUSTIFYING, JUST THEORIZING MOTIVATION)

from Louisiana (his surname was most frequent in the US there according to 1880 census data)

thick, dark brown hair

medium brown eyes

5.7ft/1.73736m

born 1824

Black Jackson

self-emancipated at a very young age by escaping to the West

he was given a stupid, humiliating literary name (common at the time) and was unimaginative, so he changed it for John

gave himself his surname too, ironically out of admiration for Andrew Jackson, who he knew little about but he had heard propaganda about him and did not know Jackson had a plantation, having heard of him as a rugged man of the people from the frontier and the scourge of Natives, nothing more

you just know he was ashy and unmoisturized and didn't know how to take care of his hair, so he just cut it short

resents Christianity (see: his drunken threat to shoot the ass off of Jesus Christ) due to it being used as justification of slavery, and the Bible being used to sell the idea that being Black was the mark of Cain or something

never talks about his past, as it would just be used as ammunition against him

illiterate (as per Southern law), too proud to admit it, let alone ask anyone to teach him

whip scars, though not as severe as some well-known images

5.8ft/1.76784m

born 1828

Bathcat

surprisingly low alcohol tolerance too

cuts the whites of his nails with a knife, which is careful and practiced, never bleeds from it

bi, see that one scene where he was asleep with his arm around one of the musicians

ear necklace made Toadvine flinch just slightly before he could catch himself when they first met

Bathcat, noticing Toadvine's lack of ears, torments him with it initially but gives up when Toadvine shows no reaction after the first

the offense he was sent to Van Diemen's Land (now Tasmania/Lutruwita) for was S/A or similar

his hand injury is from unsafe working conditions when performing unpaid prison labor

his eye injury is the result of violence from another inmate

realized he was into men too in prison and just saw it as a natural result of separation from women

tonedeaf (cannot distinguish musical notes by ear or repeat/carry a tune)

knows some Welsh from his childhood, mostly songs and expressions

naturally thin, blond hair

grey-blue eyes

5.7ft/1.73736m

born 1807

sent to Van Diemen's Land 1829

Tobin

raised as a charity case by the Church rather than by family at times

former choir boy, still sings and hums when he thinks no one can hear

quit seminary due to struggling with celibacy and certain moral things justified in the Bible that seem contradictory to restrictions for Priests, as well as the Bible being used as justification for slavery

closest thing Black Jackson has to a friend in the gang

bad back

after he disappeared from the narrative, he returned to ministry

he no longer believed after everything he had seen, but wanted to provide aid and comfort regardless

from Massachusetts (his name is most common there in the US)

greying, balding ginger hair

blue eyes

needs reading glasses

5.8ft/1.76784m

born 1803

David Brown

from what became Arkansas (canonically never saw an ocean before he went to California)

blond

hazel eyes

nearsighted (things that are further are less clear)

5.6ft/1.70688m

born 1818

James Robert Bell

severe Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, his older brother has a more mild form which is visible in subtle features but not significantly disabling, their mother's alcoholism worsened by the time she had James

his mother died as a complication of alcoholism

his consumption of fecal matter is a result of having been starved in the past (see: Blanche Monnier)

his brother trimmed his nails for him so he wouldn't hurt himself or others

Holden did not, but watched Bell at all times for entertainment, as Holden did not sleep, and would physically prevent severe harm (to prolong his entertainment)

muscular atrophy due to being kept in a cage, resulting in posture and movement difficulties, as well as exhaustion (see: the "Genie" child neglect case)

his being drawn to the river and to fire was not mere curiosity but a desire for death

thin, dark brown hair

born 1830

Maturing is realizing that Kureo Mado is funny as hell. Like did he murder a lot of people in horrific ways then use their corpses to murder their families? Yeah. But was he probably the biggest menace the CCG bureaucracy has ever seen and the reason several HR representatives quit their jobs? Also yes. Akira had to get her freak behavior from somewhere

Today's vibes are grooming, incest and abuse 🥰

You love blood too much

But not like I do

Not like I do

PINKERTON'S FAVORITE WHORE

He Paid to Be Betrayed

I can’t stop thinking about that girl. That shot from the credits — where the Pinkertons approach her with a casual smile, while she’s servicing another client. I’m absolutely sure Charles had been with her more than once, not just during that mission in the Valentine saloon. We’re not shown everything, right? We don’t see how the gang members spend their downtime, when they go into town, who they spend it with.

I’m almost certain Charles wasn’t the only one. Half the guys in the gang clearly had a thing for whores. And that woman — that prostitute — I’m sure she was one of the people who gave information to the Pinkertons. Maybe even about Charles himself, though he managed to leave Beecher’s Hope. In the end, she definitely helped lead them to John.

Working girls don’t care what they get paid for — whether it’s to spread their legs or spill someone’s secrets. Especially if they get paid twice as much. And her clients — even Charles — couldn’t really hide their identity from her. Sure, he’s the quiet type, but if you watch that saloon scene before the cutscene triggers, you can clearly see him talking nonstop to the girls — his mouth never stops moving. We don’t hear any of it, but his lips are constantly moving, like he’s deep in conversation. Javier, by comparison, barely moves his mouth.

Prostitutes aren’t stupid. They take mental notes on their clients — who they are, how much they’re worth, and whether there’s more to gain than just cash. So here’s what I’m thinking… I once read this crackpot theory that Charles was the real rat in the gang. Probably a joke, because the arguments were like: “He drinks coffee. Dutch drinks coffee. Boom — traitor.” Seriously.

But my theory? The girls — the prostitutes — were the real rats. Or at least, they played a way bigger role than anyone realizes. Maybe that sounds even more insane, because I’ve got no hard evidence — except for that one frame in the credits, where she’s clearly giving information to the agents. Maybe not directly about John, but about Charles and Javier? Very likely. And if so, all she did was pass along what the guys themselves told her — in drunken confidence, far too trusting of their smugly satisfied, rented companion for the night.

Where the Gang Fell Apart

We only see things through Arthur’s eyes, but we have no idea what the others are doing. Dutch told them to blend in, act like civilized workers, and find ways to make an honest living. But he didn’t tell them to get black-out drunk, hire whores, and start bar fights. And yet that’s exactly what they did — so recklessly it borders on stupidity. When you’re that drunk, you don’t care who’s listening or what you’re saying.

There’s even a line in a conversation between O’Driscoll members, where they say Colm ordered them not to mess with whores until their job was done. And honestly? He was right. A drunk man whose dick is doing the thinking is no friend to his own brain. And yes — scientific studies confirm that sexual hormones impair both cognitive and physical performance. Aroused men are less rational, more impulsive, and their coordination drops. (This is a bit of a tangent, but it fits.)

So, is it possible that one of the biggest reasons behind the gang’s constant failures wasn’t just Dutch’s madness or Micah’s betrayal — but the reckless, indulgent lifestyle of its men? I’m not blaming them for wanting to satisfy basic urges. But, seriously — showing up as a group of four (Arthur, Javier, Charles, Bill) at the saloon, all of them among the most wanted criminals in the country, openly using their real names, and then starting a fight?

That’s not just carelessness. That’s self-destruction.

Literally me (pls someone save me from myself)

in the most literal sense, i need to be embraced by the judge’s immense and terrible flesh. i need to push my face between his man tits, feel his big ol arms & his dainty little hands wrap around me, and just be swallowed by the darkness of his black oilskin coat. or he could just be half-naked like usual, idgaf. him crushing my spine is a need methinks.

#107

literally addicted to him!!!!!!

! i do not endorse any harmful or bigoted ideologies !

Blood meridian is so funny to me. Imagine being a kid and meeting some strange man who you immediately kick in the head then get your ass beat. Then! Then you two are gonna go kill a man together. Good luck. Found family.

Only girls with crushes on soldiers who died 80 years ago knows real frustration