Not Gonna Lie This Guy Has Grown On Me So Much As A Character

EVERYONE NEEDS TO LOOK AT HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON UNTRAINABLE THE STAGE PLAY RN

You can tell a lot about the health of a civilization by their warning signs. Places with a lot of dumb folks will have very broad, very dumb warnings in public. "No feeding the birds." "Stop swimming in this drainage pond." That kind of thing.

Advanced civilizations have very precise signs. They've covered the bases of their regular, run-of-the-mill idiots, and now they're working hard to cover that other end of the bell curve: the talented idiot. When I was in Germany last time, there was a big warning sign that consisted of a 76-letter-long word that means "stop bothering this particular goose, Sven." I don't know who Sven was, but the goose looked pretty calm. It worked.

Now, I have a secret to tell you. You can just make your own signs. There's no law against it, except perhaps "littering," and the municipal sign factory doesn't have very good security. If you show up there past close and put in the door code that you shoulder-surfed off one of the employees returning from lunch a week prior, you have all night to fuck around with their sign-printing machine, making the most official-looking placards you can think of.

Is this wrong? I don't think so. It's a public space, and being able to put up an aluminum sign that says wacky crank shit is your right. For instance, just last week, I banned pickup trucks from parking by the playground. The cops figured out something was going on, because they didn't get any calls for toddlers getting backed over for a couple of days and sent a patrol truck to investigate. Took my sign right down.

What I discovered after that is that nobody keeps records of what signs are supposed to be there. Why would anyone put up a sign for no reason? They cost money, after all. The city is now suing the shit out of that officer for stealing the "no trucks" sign, thanks to an anonymous tipster who called in the theft. Guy wearing a reflective vest came by and put like four more of them up after the lawsuit made the news, just out of spite. I'm not entirely sure if he's actually a city worker; we ran into each other at 3am at the sign factory and just grunted. He was working on some really crazy signs about not feeding a particular swan. Probably German.

fun fnaf idea:

right so, both the original trilogy and the movie had a theme of afton kidnapping kids which is (as far as i know) never shown in the games lore in any way.

i was watching the last gtlive video reacting to dual process theory and he brought up a part about if he'd kidnapped michael and that's part of the reason for his treatment of him.

in the books, (spoiler alert!) charlie has a brother named sam (a twin if i remember) who got kidnapped by afton at a young age and i was thinking that it would be pretty cool if that was a michael backstory for the games.

obviously. before anyone comes after me, i have thought it through and it is very non-lore compliant and this isn't an actual theory. it's more of a funky lil' 'what if' scenario that appeared in my head.

it could have been shown in the books if henry had two kids and william had two kids as well (both a girl and a boy so it would be charlie and michael as henry's and cassidy (?) and elizabeth as william's), which isnt actually factual to the books but it would have been pretty cool like i said.

anyways yeah. funky idea

nothing that a haircut and a wardrobe update and a detox and a sex change and a fake ID and getting medicated and selling all my stuff and faking my death and moving country can't fix

we haven't had fnaf lore teaser images since december 2021 and i am in mourning for them.

me and my buddy used to have so much fun looking thru source code for lore and editing images to look for hidden messages

revisiting dreams/a dream idea

okay for context. sometimes i have a dream or a series of dreams in the past that i wake up without the memory of (not useful but it happens a lot given that i barely remember any dreams). anyway so, the plus side of this means that i can 'revisit' dreams that i don't completely remember having but will regain the memories of all the past dreams during the 'revisit'. The downside of the revisits is that i don't ever (as far as i know) ever get to return to that universe ever again.

last night's one has been the first in a couple of months (if anyone's interested i can talk about it later or maybe i willl anyway). the summary is kind of hard to describe because it's like a murder mystery except there's no murder and it's more of an arg hunt type thing. Think Cicada 3301, leaving their qr codes across countries in the 2010s. But the thing with this is that it's linked to this one website for the town/towns which is run by a group of kids, who everyone thinks is behind all this shit. for some reason, i know they aren't.

anyway, i was only back for part of my dream last night/ this morning and it was sort of like i was in the future of that dream, which is what also happened last time. and in the time in between the original and the revisit the 'clues' had either stopped turning up or people had chosen to ignore them.

the premise of these clues changes quite a bit, there's supposed to be a specific way to find them and they're in different places. sometimes it's a book code, sometimes its as easy as reading letters and putting them in the right order and sometimes they're really difficult to solve. At least a few of them have some disturbing words nearby in,,, like fridge magnet letter but if they stuck to walls. like the big clunky fridge magnets. maybe i'll find a pic later. last night's one was slaughter. don't know what that was about and don't want to know.

another general point that an area is part of a clue is that it will have a little spray paint or doodle of a specific animal. don't know if it was the same in the original but this one was a green owl. think duolingo green and i can't really remember the owl but it wasn't cartoony, it was really subtle.

i had to wake up before anything really happened but i solved that clue and it opened up something else/revealed some items or something (kind of video game style). i got a walkie talkie and some other things that i can't remember but were like survival type things maybe (a torch, etc.).

the follow up move was going to be using the walkie talkie to talk to the person(?) behind the entire thing(?) to find the next clue to go to and solve. (this one was in an alley way for some reason)

i think the reason i was doing it was to find out who was truly behind as i somehow knew it wasn't the kids (my friends?) behind the website, which was an orange and green coloured, tourist-style website.

the only real reason i'm telling you is because i know i won't return and i want to remember.

TL;DR: some sort of irl arg mystery following someone finding clues in random areas signified by a duolingo-green owl mark that has links to a website, made by kids who have nothing to do with it.

Idk if anyone else remembers, but Batman canonically carries around Bat-cookies according to the Batman/Scooby-Doo crossover.

I LOVE to think Batman carries them around as snacks for Robin. I love it even more to think he uses said cookies to bribe Robin into good behavior in a similar fashion to Scooby Snacks.

Little Dick Grayson: I don't wanna go to some stupid Gala! U can't make me!

Bruce, in desperation: would u do it for a bat-cookie?

Dick: woah! Bat-shaped! Cool!

Bruce: andddd you can have another one after the party

Dick, mouth full of cookie: okay :)

Bruce, internally: thank fuck a parenting hack that works

Batman: stop! Don't kill him!

Red Hood: and why do I give a fuck what you-

Batman: would u spare his life for a Bat-cookie?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: I'm not a kid anymore-

Batman: they're fresh, look, still warm

Red Hood: ...

Red Hood: this works ONCE. This ONE time. Gimme that damn cookie.

Batman: of course

Red Hood: Fuck I've missed these what the hell does Alfred put in em

Bruce: go to sleep, Tim

Tim: I'm almost done-

Bruce: go to sleep now and you can have a bat-cookie

Tim: a what?

Bruce: a bat-cookie. See? Here, first taste is free. Try it.

Tim: bribery? Really?

Bruce: positive reinforcement

Tim: giving me treats like I'm some kind of dog?

Bruce: try it and then we'll debate the ethics

Tim [eats cookie]:

Tim:

Tim: okay

Bruce: Okay?

Tim: if I promise to sleep a full 8 hours I want two more and a glass of milk

Bruce: u drive a hard bargain but I accept

Dick: aw, c'mon, Damian. One picture. For me, to remember your first day of high school. Do it for a bat-cookie?

Damian: -tt- I've heard of these so-called "bat-cookies" Insulting. I am not a child. I refuse to participate in such an asinine tradition.

Dick: shame. Alfred made animal-friendly ones so you can share with Ace and Batcow. I guess they don't get any treats either, then

Damian: well

Damian: since it would please you so very much, I will overlook this patronizing lapse in judgment

Damian [tries one bite of cookie]:

Damian:

Damian: given Batcows higher food intake requirements, I will require at least a dozen.

Damian [takes another bite]: perhaps two dozen

Duke: you agree I did a good job today?

Bruce: yes? I suppose. Earlier, when you stopped that-

Duke: shut it. Don't care. Cookie me.

Bruce: excuse me?

Duke: I know about the cookies, old man. You've been holding out on me. The cat's out of the bag. I did a good job, I get a cookie. That's how it works, right?

Bruce: uh well

Bruce: that was a long time ago

Bruce: i had to discontinue that method after-

Duke: are you saying I'm not a valid member of this family because I was never Robin?

Bruce: of course you are! But I don't have any on me-

Duke: don't. Lie. To. Me.

Bruce: Okay! Okay. You're right, I'm sorry. Here, take it. Just... do me a favor, and don't go announcing to the whole cave you got-

Duke: YES. MY FIRST BAT-COOKIE! SCORE!

Every batmember in the vicinity: BAT-COOKIES ARE BACK????

Bruce: NO! stay back! Stay back you animals! Alfred! Alfred! It's happening again-

Alfred, sighing: I'll preheat the oven, sir

Seth better start dressing Paul in immaculate gay ass fits like those posh people do with their pomeranians