You've Been Hit By...

i like my skeletons in my closet. not out of it

there are only so many times one can crash leonardo da vinci's first flying mahcine before you lose your mind

Jason is in civilian clothing absolutely plastered at a Crime Alley bar when Joker breaks out of Arkham, and while still drunk he abruptly decides he’s sick of all this dramatic bullshit and just. kills the Joker. tracks him down, kills him without any fanfare, and ditches. it was executed flawlessly, incredible really considering his intoxication levels at the time. he only slipped up a teeny-tiny amount.

because he got seen leaving the murder scene. in civilian clothing. and then got caught once more via a security camera as he was disappearing back into Crime Alley. and the bats fucking saw that footage.

Bruce Wayne, an emotional wreck, just found out that Jason is alive, apparently just murdered the Joker, and is now living alone in Crime Alley (and who knows in what conditions?! he’s legally dead, there’s no legal way for him to make money, his poor son might be homeless.) and for some reason he isn’t coming home. Bruce is in despair, getting worse the longer they can’t track Jason down. finally, at his wits end, he decides to ask the help of the one other vigilante figure that seems to know Crime Alley better than the bats, and that might have some less-savoury contacts that could be of better help tracking down a legally dead boy.

the Red Hood, struggling not to laugh hysterically in Batman’s face, has never been more excited to accept a job in his LIFE. he has no plans on how he’s going to fuck with Bruce just yet, but by god is he going to do something.

I like haunted things. and what happens when you like haunted things a little too much you say?

.....you start creating a google sheets database of haunted locations and info on them which you've dubbed "the haunted index" is what happens.........

honestly I think this is a build up of watching sam and colby, garrett watts, twin paranormal and project fear lmao - at least it gives me something to do

“omg you’re so creative. how do you get your ideas” i hallucinate a single scene in the taco bell drive thru and then spend 13 months trying to write it

if anyone has some good french dishes, please hit me up with recipes. my life would be yours

when i say my gender changes to the tune of the bit i mean a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and if he can’t then god forbid women do anything

The kids of Casper high were going through a slight religion change. You see most kids in Casper high were fans of Phantom and the hero seemed to be spending time with alot of greek figures. Many people had seen him in the park with a tall Greek ghost woman called pandora, and if that was thee Pandora then phantom's dog, cujo, must be a hellhound. So if Phantoms was greek or a Greek spirit them maybe that could work for other people to.

It started during a football game and Dash saying a quick prayer to Ares for strength and Athena for strategy. That would work right? Or maybe Nikke? He didn't know but they won so I must have worked!

Then it was Star. Who was having trouble with a poetry project from Mr.Lancers English class. So a quick prayer to Apollo. And OMG look!! She got an A!

During a big thunder storm Kwan sent a prayer to Zeus for clear weather. Then it cleared! So it must have worked.

Mr.Lancer got wind of this, so when the teachers went out for a couple of drinks and a small party. He sent a small prayer to Dionysus for a good time. He woke up the next day with a huge hangover and a new girlfriend.

Walking down the hall Dash sent a prayer to Ares, then went after the 3 losers. After a quick fight he knocked Fenturd out clean.

Danny woke up later thinking He'd been slammed through building and cratered into concrete. How did DASH knock him out?!

Diana Prince, also known as Wonder Woman, was ecstatic! The Gods of Olympus were acting apon the world once again. But why were they so centered on a town called Amity Park?

You can tell a lot about the health of a civilization by their warning signs. Places with a lot of dumb folks will have very broad, very dumb warnings in public. "No feeding the birds." "Stop swimming in this drainage pond." That kind of thing.

Advanced civilizations have very precise signs. They've covered the bases of their regular, run-of-the-mill idiots, and now they're working hard to cover that other end of the bell curve: the talented idiot. When I was in Germany last time, there was a big warning sign that consisted of a 76-letter-long word that means "stop bothering this particular goose, Sven." I don't know who Sven was, but the goose looked pretty calm. It worked.

Now, I have a secret to tell you. You can just make your own signs. There's no law against it, except perhaps "littering," and the municipal sign factory doesn't have very good security. If you show up there past close and put in the door code that you shoulder-surfed off one of the employees returning from lunch a week prior, you have all night to fuck around with their sign-printing machine, making the most official-looking placards you can think of.

Is this wrong? I don't think so. It's a public space, and being able to put up an aluminum sign that says wacky crank shit is your right. For instance, just last week, I banned pickup trucks from parking by the playground. The cops figured out something was going on, because they didn't get any calls for toddlers getting backed over for a couple of days and sent a patrol truck to investigate. Took my sign right down.

What I discovered after that is that nobody keeps records of what signs are supposed to be there. Why would anyone put up a sign for no reason? They cost money, after all. The city is now suing the shit out of that officer for stealing the "no trucks" sign, thanks to an anonymous tipster who called in the theft. Guy wearing a reflective vest came by and put like four more of them up after the lawsuit made the news, just out of spite. I'm not entirely sure if he's actually a city worker; we ran into each other at 3am at the sign factory and just grunted. He was working on some really crazy signs about not feeding a particular swan. Probably German.