We Need Some Mediocre Nat Fluff Now To Hear Us From That Stab In The Heart Fic

we need some mediocre nat fluff now to hear us from that stab in the heart fic

gotchu baby

content warnings: nsfw i sprinkled in some porn so, as usual peak mediocrity

she brings white claw to meet ur friends<3 and youre like i set a low bar for you and youre playing limbo with it. and yet ur friends are like so impressed by her because shes an avenger and she just smirks at you over the table

you ask her why she doesnt speak russian to you regularly and shes like well u dont speak clown to me regularly? and u whack her stomach but she just pulls u in for a hug and ur like ur so annoying but u kiss her anyway

when u go for a walk w her through the park and u see an ice cream truck ur like go buy us a cone and shes like wtf why dont U buy it bitch and ur like u wear the strap, u pay the bill

shes just like :| but goes and pays for it anyway but before u can even take a bite of it, she eats the whole thing and shes like yeah look i need the energy, i burn so much of it putting up w ur ass

you rolling ur eyes: you love putting my ass up

nat: very true<3

sometimes u take naps in her office and she comes in and wakes u up and is like come eat me out under my table and ur like ??? u didnt even say hi bro tf but like ur a slut so yeah

sometimes u show up to bring her lunch so she makes a joke about how its reciprocal: she eats something and u eat something

when halloween rolls around and they have those fake decorations, u buy a bag of spiders and u find her at the gym and u throw them at her and ur like "for halloween im you, i attack people with my spider bullshit" she gets u in the ring and slams you on ur back and ur like "i still dont regret doing that" and she sits on your waist, straddling u and rolls her eyes but shes smiling fondly down at u and she kisses u and then grabs ur face and says Get the fuck out. and youre like no<3 and she says And stop visiting me at work. and youre like No<3

nat and her cock gag<3 when u dont stop irritating her she tells u to open up baby, spits in ur mouth, shoves it in, and pats ur cheek twice, says ur so much more bearable like this

when ur nice to her she'll let u braid her hair so she'll sit cross legged on the floor while netflix is on and u play w her hair and sometimes you'll yank her head back by the braid for a kiss and she doesn't say anything about it until it comes time for a spank lmao she counted.

she will show up at ur job too, hand u a wrap or a sandwich she bought for like $3 and then talk u into making out in her car or in a storage closet, every time u leave the other hanging -- either ur break is over or she has to go or smth

u send her memes about being a boomer and she says shut up and ur like ok cradle robber. she says u like me w a cane. u tell her ur looking at her respectfully bc u always respect ur elders. she dresses up as steve for Halloween and tells u its because shes dressing her age. and by steve i mean she just wears a tight shirt and flexes all the time. u have no complaints

at the pool she pushes u in and ur like I'm drowning i need mouth to mouth and she obliges because she saves lives u know<3

ok soft gfs sometimes when shes out of the country you'll call her and ur sleepy bc its weird timezones and ur like pls be safe. come back soon. and nats like side eying her coworkers bc they cannot see her emote like this so shes like "um yes i like mac n cheese" and ur like "and thats i love you in repressed russian spy right?" and shes turning around to face a wall and smiling and going "yes it is" and when she comes home u hand her a microwave mac n cheese and she kisses u at the door and u tell her so sweetly that shes washing all the dishes from the past week bc she cannot skimp out on chores and shes like sure ok but i have a lot of laundry for u to do:) don't get stuck again. Or do. i don't mind

inspired by tiktok for ur anniversary u both agree not to buy each other gifts but ur bored one day and make a macaroni frame and u put in a picture of u both and ur like Sike i got a gift for u <3 and shes panic buying shit like brand name clothes, make up, a brand new sex toy, and ur like ......nat i literally just got u this.

shes so unimpressed she says shes going to return everything u don't deserve ANYTHING but she lets u kiss her jaw and her cheek and her lips and u tell her thank u baby and ur like :) ily and shes like ok fine.

mediocre nat is really just a simp ngl

More Posts from Seera-li and Others

3 years ago

Y/N: You are pretty cute when you are nice

Natasha: what am I when I’m not nice

Y/N: hot as fuck

Natasha:*smirks and blushes*


Tags
3 years ago

HI HAPPY NEW YEAR- mediocre nat and r having a night out and r saying goodbye after nat drops her off but not saying she loves her and nat is like ?? hello??

hello thats very cute and in character but i am so tired ive been ready to collapse for like over a day so whatever tf im writing after this is what ur getting

This Friday date night goes a lot better than Nat's McDonald's fuckery from last week. You take her to that bar she likes near work, paying for the french fries you shared and the first two rounds. There was some game playing on the TV that you don't really follow but Nat clearly does because she laughs every time one of the teams fails. You don't think she really has a sports team she roots for and she admits she just picks the one with nicer uniforms to care about anytime sports comes on the TV.

When her team of the night wins, she plants a kiss on you that has someone at the bar hollering. You wince when she pulls away to glower at the man.

After that, you'd looped your arm around hers and you'd had a nice walk through the park. Skipped rocks in the pond. She had done a better job. In character, of course, but annoying nonetheless.

Tomorrow, she leaves for a mission, so she has to head to the tower tonight to pack up her gear and you've got an empty house for the foreseeable future.

It's sad.

You spend the car ride to your house gripping her hand and staring at the streetlights. Nat turns up the radio and taps the steering wheel to the beat of the song.

Nat leaps out of the car the moment she pulls into your driveway while you twist around to grab your tote bag from the backseat. When Nat comes and opens your door for you, you smile and take her hand.

Still, there's a sense of melancholy falling over you already. You sigh for the fifteenth time tonight and Nat just squeezes your fingers.

"I'll be back before you know it," she says into your shoulder while you fish your keys out of your bag.

"Now I have to take the bus to work," you say, sullenly.

"Tony would probably get you a car service if you asked."

You huff. Sometimes, you can't tell if she's fucking with you or if she's really that dense. One of the downsides of how casual the two of you are with each other, how often you poke fun at each other.

"What?" she huffs when you stomp to the living room to throw your bag on the couch.

"Now I have to fuck myself if I get horny." You spin quickly to glower at her. "And don't even say anything about Tony. We both know you'd probably commit some sort of atrocity if I ever did that just because you're emotionally constipated."

Nat scowls too. "Pot kettle black much."

The both of you squint at each other for a few long moments before you give in--always you first--and cross the distance to where she's leaning in your doorway.

Nat watches, impassive, as you pick up her hands. Lets you tug her closer to your body. "You know I own a cellphone, right?"

"Phone sex?" you mumble into her shoulder. "On the job?"

You can basically hear her eye roll. "No. You are so not getting off while I'm gone. But you don't have to act like I've got a terminal illness just because I'm going on a business trip."

Business trip. As if her business trip isn't some life-endangering superspy mission in god-knows-where, Europe, involving superhumans and, like, missiles.

"Come on," she says, pulling back so she can bump your chin up with your linked hands. "Send me pictures of your meals or whatever the hell normal people do."

"You'd just leave me on read," you grumble.

"I'll send you pictures of MREs so you can ignore me too." She's aiming for levity.

You are too down in the dumps to do anything but force a tiny smile and lean in for a quick kiss. She has to go soon. Too soon.

Nat tilts her head to catch your eyes. There's a hint of concern on her face. "Back before you know it."

"Don't break into my house again," you say, hoping your smile is more convincing this time. She's a superhero. No need to worry about a clingy girlfriend.

"No promises." She presses in for another kiss before stepping back, releasing your hands. "Bye, baby."

"Okay," you say with a heaving sigh, leaning on your door. Usually, you would watch her get in her car, wave at her through the window, and then disappear down the street.

Today, Nat does not move an inch. Looks at you expectantly.

She raises her eyebrows. "...bye."

You frown. "Bye?" you say slowly.

Still, she waits.

"Don't die," you offer. No movement. "...I would be sad."

Nope.

"I might even cry."

"Jesus," Nat growls out, spinning on her heel and storming off your porch. She's actually mad. You can tell.

You fumble with the door, making sure it's unlocked, before chasing after Nat. She's already at the wheel by the time you're knocking on her window.

She gives the wheel a look so searing, you're surprised it still has the gall to exist. Then, she rubs at her eye with an aggravated fist. Then, the window rolls down and she looks over at you with a tired look.

"What did I do?" you ask immediately, hands curling over the car door.

"Nothing."

You reach out to touch her cheek, something inside your chest aching something fierce when she flinches. "Nat," you say softly, voice thin from how much this hurts. Unexpected hurt, really. Pot kettle black, indeed. "Come on."

"I," she starts, stops to wince, continues with more gusto: "I will miss you."

"I'll miss you too," you reply quickly, hand tilting her face to look more fully at you. "If you died, I think I would never recover."

"I won't die," she murmurs into your palm, eyes pinned on you now.

"Promise?"

Nat smiles, a small roll to her eyes. "Sure, I promise."

"Okay." You nod, tipping onto your toes and tugging her face in to meet you in a chaste kiss. "I love you, okay? If you break your promise, I'll kill you."

Nat looks at you like you've hung the moon and the stars in the sky. Disguised, of course, by a wry shake of the head. "Haven't broken a promise to you yet. Won't start now. But also that made no sense."

"Get off my property, truther."

Nat grins, then, yanks you in for another hard kiss before letting you back up a few steps.

Her taillights disappear around the bend. Your heart feels heavy in your chest. She'll be back before you know it.


Tags
3 years ago

Casual dating

Casual Dating

Pairing: Natasha x reader

Word count: 2795

Genre: fluff/a lillllll bit of angst

Request: yes

Warnings: slight mention of eating disorder + over exercising

A/n: I HAVE RETURNED. Just when you thought you had gotten rid of me I jump right back like a boomarang. Fun fact, we had a boomarang and I wasn't allowed to throw it because it was 'decorative' or something so I pushed a chair over to where it was hung on the wall, smuggled it out to my garden and threw it. It didn't come back to me but its probably because my technique was off right? It also has a tiny dent in the back where I threw it too hard and it bounced on the apple tree.

You and Natasha were casually dating. It's what you had both agreed because why put a label on something when it might not even last due to busy schedules? It was a mutually shared idea that had popped up on the second date.

The two of you were sitting, eating candy floss with a large stuffed bear sitting between the two of you.

"Nata-"

"So I've bee-" You both started to speak at the same time, laughing gently when you realised what you had done.

"You go." You said.

"No it's okay. You go first."

"Okay... How do you feel about all this?" You waved your hand between the two of you, accidentally hitting the bear over the head.

"It's nice. It's good." Natasha said. "I don't think I want to..." She trailed off, biting the inside of her lip as her eyes darted about slightly. She was nervous.

"Label it?"

Natasha's eyes were drawn back to you, her head hung a little in shame as she slowly nodded.

"Thank god." You breathed out, tension releasing from your shoulders. "Me neither. I'm happy with just casual dating."

"Exactly!" Natasha was a lot more animated once she realised her views were shared. "Besides, I'm an avenger and you're an agent, it's easier if we keep it casual so we don't feel pressure to constantly be with each other."

"I'm so glad you said that! I've been stressed about this since you first asked me out on the first date." You smiled easily, the both of you content to not force yourselves into a relationship.

~~~~~

That was 3 months ago and in that time you had been on one other date. Sometimes you wondered if the reason you were both so happy to not get into a serious relationship all those nights ago was because neither of you had anything to base a stable relationship off of. Your parents were emotionally distant and so you became hyper independent from a young age. Of course it was nothing compared to Natasha's experiences in the Red room but it certainly wasn't a walk in the park. In fact, if you really thought hard, you couldn't think of one real relationship you had been in. Sure you dated, had sex, and led people on for a mission but you had never had someone to call your own, never had a significant other. Hell, you didn't even really know what your sexuality was because of the lack of real relationships you had. While you had only had one other date with Natasha, it didn't stop you from being tangled in each other's limbs at least twice a week. You had a free day and you were sure Natasha did too so you sent her a quick text asking if she wanted to go out that evening, or even afternoon, before getting back to training.

You had finished your training session 3 and half hours later and still had no answer. You figured you must have read her schedule wrong which was entirely possible considering you literally just glanced at it. You chugged some water as you made your way to the showers. It was there that you saw a flash of red hair and you followed it.

"Hey Nat."

"Y/n"

"Did you get the text? I was wondering if you wanted to go out on another date tonight."

Natasha let out the tiniest sigh and you watched her tense up. You thought that she probably didn't want you to notice but you did. You bit the inside of your cheek, maybe you were being too needy. Yes. Definitely too needy.

"Actually never mind! Enjoy your shower." You spun on your heel and got into a shower.

~~~~~

You thought about the interaction the whole way home, hearing your phone buzz multiple times but ignoring it because you were a nice, safe, driver. Well that and because SHIELD had fitted a black box into your car after you got one too many speeding tickets. Those totally weren't your fault though, you had to save the cat. The fines for knocking off the occasional cyclist might have been a little more your fault. You grabbed your phone as soon as you were parked and saw that the messages were from Natasha and they weren't all that nice.

The other spider: we literally just went on a date a few weeks ago

The other spider: I thought this was supposed to be casual dating

The other spider: cause this doesn't seem very casual to me.

You felt your chest tighten unexpectedly as your eyes began to burn the tiniest bit. You clenched your jaw. You survived two parents who didn't want a child and multiple near fatal injuries.

Y/n: You're right. I'll see you Monday.

There was no way you were spending your Friday night in.

~~~~~

One of the benefits of being a super secret agent, was the lean body you were forced to have. Now, don't misunderstand, you hated working out with a passion. It often reminded you of a dark time in your past where you would over-exercise and under eat because all you could see in the mirror was someone that wasn't really there. It wasn't even that you thought you were overweight, you just wanted to see how slim and muscular you could go.

Still, when your physique meant you could get a date in less than 12 hours, you were inclined to be a little kinder to yourself. His name was Dave? Darron? Derrick? It didn't matter. He was hot and you were bored. You had arranged to meet at a small diner you had never been to before. Yes, you knew it was a little more dangerous but you had most likely killed men bigger than him with little more than a lanyard so you figured you were pretty safe. The date itself was rather boring but it did the job and got you out the house. The was nothing particularly wrong with the man, if anything he was rather sweet. He didn't seem to realise his good looks and you wondered if he had only recently grown into them. He was the perfect gentleman and in a different life, you could see him making you happy. Seeing Peter and MJ was rather cute too. Peter blushed profusely when he saw you there too but you just laughed, patting him gently on his back when he made you promise not to tell Mr Stark.

You left the diner with no intention to go on a second date.

~~~~~

It was Saturday evening, two weeks after the date with Darren? and you were bored again. Natasha had been on a mission all week and so you sent her a text, asking if she wanted to have a chill drive-in date. You added on the end that there was no pressure if she was too tired.

You were left on seen.

You weren't too sure why you kept trying with Natasha. If it had been anyone else, you would have gotten the message and fucked off. Maybe it was because Natasha was a woman? Maybe you were only attracted to women. With this newfound need to test out your hypothesis, you got back on your phone.

This time, it took you 5 hours to find someone to go on a date with. The sayings weren't wrong, lesbians really do move fast. You were dressed up and ready to go, having both decided to meet at a local coffee shop only a few blocks away from the SHIELD agency. This was done strategically as you were technically supposed to be working but it was your lunch break so fuck 'em. Sophie? Sandra? Sapphire? was nice. She laughed at your jokes and told jokes that made you laugh too, she insisted to pay and pouted when you snuck your card over the card reader. You were having a fun time and didn't notice a pair of green eyes burn into you. You cut the date shorter than your counterpart would have liked but you were already running late for work.

Perhaps it wasn't the gender, perhaps it was the fact none of them were ex-assassins with fiery red hair and a personality to match. Perhaps you couldn't remember any of their names because they weren't called Natasha.

Once again, you had no intention of going on a second date.

~~~~~

The change in Natasha was noticeable. Perhaps only noticeable to Clint and possibly Tony, but it was noticeable. She was quieter but not in her normal brooding spy way. She was a loud sort of quiet. The kind of quiet you are when you have millions of thoughts buzzing about your head. Natasha had many more than millions of thoughts and none of them were nice. She knew what casual dating entailed and she knew you were more than within your right to date someone else, as was she, but the burn when she saw you with Sophia made her feel sick. Natasha didn't like people eating her cereal, she didn't like people stealing her weapons and she most certainly didn't like people having you. As a person who grew up with barely any possessions, it had made Natasha jealous and possessive. Normally she could hide it. Normally it was over normal things, like socks. But normally, it didn't involve people. She was confused. She was overjoyed when you felt the same way about casual dating but seeing you with someone else made her feel a possessiveness that she hadn't felt since Stark had tried to take the last serving of golden boulders. She knew you weren't a cereal, that you were a person but when she saw you with someone else, all she could think was how much you were hers.

~~~~~

You were invited to a Stark party by an anonymous source. You had little to no idea who it could be. If it was Natasha, she would have just texted you and you weren't very close to any of the other Avengers. You didn't really care though, just happy to let loose as everyone knew that Stark's parties were infamous for their freeing atmosphere.

Turns out, the anonymous source failed to mention it was a rather intimate party with only the core Avengers, Maria, and Carol. You wondered, as you scanned the room quickly, whether or not it was too late for you to sneak back out. Unfortunately it was as Peter spotted you and enthusiastically waved you over to the group.

"Y/n! You made it!" Peter's exclamation made Natasha's head snap around.

"Shouldn't you be studying for a test?"

"Shouldn't you be going to less shady places for dates?"

You raised an eyebrow. Oh. So spidey boy wanted to play did he? You gave him a smug smirk and watched as he realised what he had just said "And how do you know about the shady places I go on dates young Peterson?"

"I- um- well-"

"How many other 'dates' have you been on?" Perhaps if Natasha was in a better state of mind, she would have asked it with a faux nonchalance but she was far too hurt for that.

"What's with the inverted commas? They were dates." You were a little upset that Natasha didn't think you were going on real dates.

"Sure."

"What, don't believe me?"

Natasha let out a short breath of air "No."

Your jaw clenched in a way that Natasha found delicious and she found herself momentarily forgetting why you were arguing until she then remembered that others may have seen your clenched jaw and thought the exact same thing she just thought. It made her blood boil ten times hotter than it already was.

"I thought you guys were dating?" Steve said, confusion written all over his face.

"Casually. Although right now, it doesn't seem very casual to me." You threw back the words that Natasha had texted you all those weeks ago, putting a little bite into them.

Natasha visibly tensed up as she realised just how neglectful she had been. She thought back to all the times you had asked her out and it made her feel sick. Her face slid from shock, to realisation, to guilt, to sadness all within a matter of milliseconds before finally resting on careful neutrality. "Well maybe we shouldn't casually date anymore."

"Just what I was thinking." You were not, however, thinking the same thing. Natasha meant it as 'we should stop casually dating so you can be my girlfriend and I can leave my mark all over you so no one ever even thinks of you without realising you're not single again' and you meant it as 'we should stop casually dating because you're slowly ripping out my heart and it's scaring me because you don't feel the same way I do.'

Normally, Wanda kept others thoughts from wandering into her head but she was a little more than slightly tipsy and both your thoughts were very loud.

"Wait nooo." Wanda's words slurred together as she grabbed your wrist, stopping you from getting up. She tugged you, trying to get you to lean closer but underestimated her strength, causing you to fall into her.

Natasha let out the most animalistic sound you had ever heard from a human. You had never heard anyone growl before and Natasha had never done it before but she was too mad to even realise what she had just done.

"Relaxxxx. I'm fixing it." Wanda waved Natasha off "Who do you think invited them anyway?"

You looked at Wanda in confusion. "But we don't even know each other."

"No." Wanda giggled. "But Peter and Clint were worried and Tony was sick of walking on eggshells around Natasha and Steve was tired of not knowing what was going on and-"

"Okay" You laughed, cutting her off. "What's your point sweetheart?"

"Natasha lovessss youuuu" Wanda giggled, her head rolling back as she looked up at the ceiling. "Come on guyssss its time for the birdies to sort themselves out."

"Birdies?" Thor looked over at her in confusion. "There are no birds here."

"She means lovebirds Thor." Carol laughed.

"How does a woman who's spent less time here than you know more?" Maria laughed as she ushered the others out, grabbing Carol's hand.

You looked over at Natasha once they had all left. "...What?"

"I thought we were saying we shouldn't casual date anymore?"

"Well me too."

"So why were you all over Wanda like a rash?"

"...I'm sorry, what? When you said 'no more casual dating', what did you mean?"

"Well I was asking you to date me properly, so I could be your girlfriend... What did you think I meant?"

"I thought you meant we had to stop doing this."

"Oh."

You both sat there in silence until you realised that your silence could be interpreted as not wanting to have her as your girlfriend.

"That's much better than what I was thinking."

Natasha gave you a light smile, her eyes searching yours for any signs that you might be lying.

You knew that she might need some encouragement to show her that you were telling the truth so you continued. "I want to see you most days. I want to label this."

"I want to see you every day Y/n. I want to wake up next to you and fall asleep next to you. When I saw you with Sophia..."

"Who?"

Natasha looked at you blankly. "What do you mean 'who'? The woman you were out with at the coffee place."

"So that was her name..."

"I seriously cant believe you... I literally stalked that woman and her family and you didn't even remember her name!" Natasha looked exasperated.

"...Well she wasn't you..."

Natasha closed the space between you until you were both inches away from each other. "Can I kiss you?" You nodded as she surged forwards and captured your lips with hers.

It was vaguely strange that she asked for permission this time when you had kissed each other so many times before. You only realised why, when you noticed that the pace of this kiss was different. It was slower, like she was taking her time memorising every little line on your lips and every tiny ridge in your mouth. Natasha asked permission because it was her strange, completely Natasha way of asking if you were okay with her. With being in a relationship. You melted instantly and your heart swelled. It was then that you realised that no matter how badly your parents had fucked you up, how badly the Red room had fucked up Natasha, that the two of you had found each other and were prepared to heal together.


Tags
3 years ago

Natasha: In February you’re supposed to be in the house, violently moisturising, punching the window to threaten the plow. Nobody smiles in February!!

(Bonus)

Wanda: What’s wrong with her?

Y/N: She’s cold.

Wanda: But she’s Russian-?

Y/N: Don’t even get me started.


Tags
3 years ago

I love the banter between them they're assholes for eachother in the nicest way possible lmao💕 Natasha avoiding chores and casually talking about killing a man is just so funny😭 Also the mommy kink... Her calling us a good girl I cant do this today😭😭

idiot4idiot

pairing: nat/f!reader

summary:

Natasha Romanov: superspy extraordinaire, Avenger, routine trespasser, and chore-avoider. Oh, and a romantic.

notes: fluff, couldnt get mediocre gfs out of my head<3

series: one, two, ao3

Keep reading


Tags
3 years ago

The way she said sever the nerve rhymed w the music 😩

lord the sexiest scene i’ve ever seen in my whole life

3 years ago

Nat to Y/n: Why are you crying?

Y/n: Shows Nat her phone*

Y/n to Wanda: Wanna hang out..

Wanda: I can’t tonight

Y/n: oh thats fine!

Wanda: Hey vis, I’m bored wanna come over? ;)

Y/n: ..

Wanda: Shit, Y/n I’m sorry..

Y/n: It’s okay :)


Tags
3 years ago

GL Webtoon Masterlist

Hello, welcome to the post where I share girls love (yuri/wlw) comics you can read on the Webtoon app! Some are focused on romance while others are more plot-heavy.

Links are included. Personal favourites are marked with a heart emoji.

I do not to include webtoons that are discontinued, on hiatus, have not been updated in a long time or have few episodes, but other than that, feel free to make suggestions and I will add them to the list. 

Side note for those who are new to Webtoon, series on Webtoon are divided into canvas and originals. Originals are published by authors that are employed by Webtoon. Canvas series are self-published, so sometimes they update irregularly and might end up being discontinued, unlike originals. Sometimes Webtoon picks up a popular canvas series and employs the author. The series then is re-released as an original.

Hope this helps, please enjoy!

Keep reading


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3 years ago

The Elements Of Us || Masterlist

The Elements Of Us || Masterlist

Author's Note - SURPRISE!! Me and the absolutely fabulous, and talented, @p0orbaby have decided to work together to do a collab! We've had this planned for a little while, but we're now ready to reveal it to you lovely lot. Please follow them if you haven't already!

Summary - When an unexpected misunderstanding turns into a blossoming relationship, it’s hard to remember that the outside world exists. Follow the journey of two idiots in love as they navigate their new lives with each other, but not without their pasts rearing their ugly heads.

Pairing - Older!NatashaRomanoff x Younger!Fem!Reader

Warnings - Each chapter will have its own individual warnings. but adult themes will be written throughout.

Prologue || 22/01

Chapter 1

more chapters coming…

--


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3 years ago

Fleeting

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 561 words

A/N: Have forgotten how to write because I have the mind of a fish. trying to get back into it. Fluff.

You notice one day that Natasha is insecure.

 It’s almost funny to you, the concept is so surreal.

Her confidence is why you started talking.

She’s driving you home and she glances over.

Her smile is nervous and you don’t understand why.

Before she pulls up outside your building, she tells you thank you.

Her voice is hoarse and you’re surprised.

You give her a gentle smile back.

Your eyes meet. 

Understanding settles between you.

Natasha kisses you.

Your voice is hoarse when you murmur thank you too.

Natasha stays over that night.

Your lives starts tangling together.

It feels good.

She taps your waist when she walks around you. 

The gesture is light as air, it makes you feel settled.

Natasha sings when she cooks.

You ask her if it makes the food taste better. She sticks her tongue out and offers you a forkful.

Natasha tells you that you’re shit at video games. 

Her voice is so pitying that you feel like you’ve been diagnosed with ineptitude.

She plays Mario Kart with you every single night.

She teases you about your driving, but her smile is excited.

She keeps asking you to play again.

She straddles you on the sofa and tells you that you’re a danger behind the wheel.

You are her friend. 

You are more than that too.

But, being her friend feels special.

You want to celebrate every part of loving her.

She trusts you.

You don’t realise at first.

She starts telling you about the missions she goes on.

At first, she only tells you vague locations.

Then, she starts to debrief little fragments. 

One day, you find her caught in a silent storm of tears.

She lets you hold her.

Things are different then.

She invites you to sleep over more and more. 

You start splitting your time between apartments.

One afternoon, you arrive earlier than expected.

Natasha glances guiltily at the sofa when she lets you in. 

You see your usual pillow lying there.

You realise that she holds it when you’re not here.

That night you tell her that you love her.

Her smile is wide. 

Her eyes fill with relieved tears.

She was waiting for you.

Natasha starts holding your hand when you walk together. 

She asks your opinion about everything.

She starts playing your favourite music.

Natasha gives you her favourite book. 

The pages are worn and you feel like she’s written on every page.

You borrow her laptop and learn that she’s looking at new apartments.

You think she’s moving away. 

Natasha finds you crying.

She starts crying too.

You’ve never seen her so scared.

Her words are disjointed when she tries to tell you about family.

About what she’s never really had.

About what you mean to her.

Natasha tries to tell you that she wants to live with you.

She can’t meet your eyes.

Her fingers are tapping, and the sound slips from rhythmic to compulsive.

You wonder if she’s counting out your last seconds together.

You watch her wait for you to leave.

Things slide into place.

Your voice is careful, but it’s also certain.

You ask if you can be her family now.

Natasha cries harder.

You touch her tapping fingers and they stop moving abruptly.

You kiss her knuckles.

Natasha is not a time or place.

Natasha is not fleeting.

Natasha is your family.


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seera-li - Seera-li
Seera-li

Sera they/them |adult| I apparently write smut now so a reminder that your media consumption is your own responsibility :)

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