Ace: I am at a loss for words!
Winston *narrating*: Despite being at a loss for words, Ace yelled at me for the next ten minutes.
Whenever Technoblade wasn't an anarchist war hero he was the bugs bunny of the dream smp. He hid on a wanted poster of himself. He avoided a death trap by sending skeppy to go in, get exploded off camera and show up covered in ashes until he made it through. He met god and wasted a wish on a bell. Hbomb made him another death trap disguised as a playground and he made it through like it really was one. I am convinced he could have walked out of the prision if he had improvised a dress out of his cape and winked at Sam
this one’s for all the fat girls who’ve cried in dressing rooms 💗
last night I had a dream that there was a tumblr update and the only thing it changed was that for two minutes straight you could sprinkle shredded cheese on other blogs and their posts, and everyone's dashboard was just pandemonium as everyone cheesed each other. two minutes of abominable amounts of shredded cheese raining from the dash. tumblr at its finest. get cheesed
My stomach is growling so loudly and yet I still don't want to eat anything...
I hate being sick
Son of a Tony
Thor: sorry I haven’t been making an appearance. I lost my brother last night.
Peter: you lost your brother?
Peter: did you find him?
Thor: son of tony no….
Peter: oh
Peter, realizing: OH-OH MY GO-I’m so sorry
(frantically checks the name and pronouns of someone i speak to regularly despite knowing them)
So when I'm backstage for the show I'm working on, there's this stage hand that always stands in peripheral as I refuse to look at him and stubbornly stare at the floor, hoping against hope that he'll get the hint and go away
but no, if I don't acknowledge him for long enough he'll just put up a fist and I have to give him a fist bump like I wasn't just blatantly ignoring him
Tell me why, when I introduced my family to discord (because time limits on zoom are dumb), they decided that's apparently the only way that I can be contacted from now on
Did text messaging and phone calls suddenly disappear from existence and I didn't notice
Danny was asked where his in memorium is, after saving another civilian on a JL mision.
Danny in all his glory just "hu?"
"You know, so i can put a thank you for saving me ofrend"
"Oh.. i i dont have one- not even in my secret identidy i had a grave... but thank you so much for thinking of that" the sinsere and melancholical smile that the ghost hero give to the civilian was so full of emotion that even the people acros the screen could feel it.
Not knowing that he was recorded, Phantom guve a false saluted and continued with his work.
The video soon become viral, and with that, little by little a lot of in memoriums and shirenes started poping up all around the globe.
can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??
a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.