Who The Fuck Just Called Me A Slutty Little Candy Man

Curious Thought

I wonder how many people like the boom and the clash of the thunder and the anticipation of seeing another lightning strike like I do.

LMAO

Never forget the time Benson went undercover as an early 2000s raver.

S2E16

Period Cycle

1 week before Body: hey so you're bout to get your period so imma send you some mild cramps as a reminder. Me: okay thanks for the update. 3 days before Body: *cramps get stronger* Hey..this is just another reminder that the time is near. Me: *screams* Day of Body: Sending in missiles of mass destruction in 3...2...1... Me: *battle cry* BRING IT, BITCH.

The Thing About Break Ups

The thing about break ups is that they are competitions to see who can care less.

You know how canaries were historically brought into coal mines, because if the mine was full of carbon monoxide the canary would die first and the miners would be able to escape before they died too?

I just found the greatest thing.

This is a canary resuscitator.

When the miners notice the canary getting sick with carbon monoxide poisoning, they can close that circular hatch so no more gas gets into the canary cage, and open the valve on that oxygen tank to keep the canary breathing. In other words, they made a spacesuit for birds.

By immediately giving the canary access to clean air, the miners can save it from the poison. The bird lives. To be clear, this is not for economic purposes, this was specifically created because the miners felt bad and wanted to save the bird.

Isn’t that just the perfect demonstration of what humans are like? We started sacrificing small creatures to save ourselves, and then felt bad and spent our valuable resources on saving the critters too. Because yeah the canary was the only way to test for CO, but it’s a living creature too, dammit!

😍😞

I can't even.

christmas is in 2 days what the actual glittery fuck

Someone spilled their dunkin donuts coffee in the school lobby so this kid got out his dunkin donuts uniform and started directing traffic around it saying things like “Ma’am watch out, this is a DUNKIN DONUTS MATTER”