Honestly I Totally Get The Appeal Of A Lifelong Romantic Relationship. But Like, I’d Rather Get That

Honestly I totally get the appeal of a lifelong romantic relationship. But like, I’d rather get that by having a relationship that’s so consistently good we never decide to end it, than by having one that’s so good at one time that we decide, in that moment, to never end it.

Does that make sense? One’s saying “yes” to something every day, the other’s saying “yes, every day” to something.

Making it hard to leave takes away a lot of uncertainty. But what if making it hard to leave devalues the staying?

I want anyone I date to know with total certainty that if they wanted to leave tomorrow, they could do it and it wouldn’t be the end of the world, it wouldn’t unleash demons. I don’t want anyone to feel chained to me.

It’s being not-chained that makes staying mean something. I want to make it easy to leave so I know we’re in this because we’re choosing to be, actively. And more than an eternal relationship? I want one where we’re in it 100%.

If we’re both/all completely on board because we keep choosing to be… that’s the kind of relationship I’d be happy to keep doing forever, if it keeps working that long. And if it doesn’t? The goal was to make it a good one, not a permanent one. 

More Posts from Sanyairana and Others

9 years ago

Making Comics Master Link List!

Hey guys, I’m getting a lot of asks about the same things, mostly questions about how to make comics, how to “break into comics” (haha, oh dear), working with publishers, that kind of thing. I’ve done some blogging on many of the subjects, so instead of repeatedly replying in private with links to those posts, I’m going to do a master post thingie with links to all my blogging about how I work. Hopefully some of you will find some helpful nuggets in there! I remember when I first started trying to transition into making comics for a living, and there wasn’t much information about that online. I spent a lot of time wailing about it on a locked livejournal. XD But anyway, I hope my blogs help a wee bit.

Disclaimer: these blog posts are all based on my own personal experiences as a cartoonist, and the advice therein might not work for everyone. The most awesome thing about comics is that there is no one way to make them, nor is there one direct route into becoming a full-time cartoonist. The more pro cartoonists I meet, the more it drives home how different our methods and origin stories are. 

Anyway, here you are! (With all of these, scroll past the placeholder image at the top of the post.)

1) How I make my comics, start to finish (traditional penciling)

1A) How I make my comics start to finish, now with digital penciling!

2) Finding the art tools that are right for you.

3) Working with collaborators.

4) Acting in comics. 

5) The financial reality of a full time cartoonist. 

6) Making a successful graphic novel pitch. 

7) Adapting a prose novel to comics, part 1.

8) Adapting a prose novel to comics, part 2.

9) Very simple tips for drawing a comic that will be published.

10) Working with editors from a cartoonist’s perspective.

10) b) Working with editors from an editor’s perspective (by my First Second editor, Calista Brill).

11) On “Drawing Styles.”

12) Dealing with discouragement (this is probably the most popular thing I’ve ever written XD).

13) On Comic Conventions. 

14) On Being a Pro and Finishing that Comic When You Don’t Want To

15) How I Write My Comics

Okay, I think that’s it! Whew! The remainder of the Friends With Boys blogging archive is here. It has some other bloggings that aren’t advice-related (mostly ramblings about comics I like), if you’re interested. If you have any other comic-related subjects you’d like me to blog about, feel free to drop a suggestion in the ask box.

I hope this was helpful. Share and enjoy! 

Updated 08/12/15


Tags
10 years ago
THERE. IS. A. DIFFERENCE. 

THERE. IS. A. DIFFERENCE. 

10 years ago

telltale: Walking Dead Season 3 confirmed!!

telltale:

image
10 years ago
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Follow Ultrafacts for more facts daily.

9 years ago
2015.
2015.
2015.
2015.

2015.

10 years ago

why are parents allowed to yell and scream at their children and call them names and just make them feel like shit in general…

but when kids try to defend themselves…. its disrespectful?

10 years ago

i came up with sort of an easy to swallow metaphor for my birthname in regards to my transition and it will be worded something like this

"imagine it’s like pokemon.. let’s say you have a pikachu and it evolves.. you’ll still have had it as a pikachu for a while, but it’s a raichu now, and even though it was a pikachu before, you wouldn’t go calling a pikachu raichu just because you knew it as pikachu for a long time. it wouldn’t be right"

10 years ago
As Per Request (thanks, Singingrabbitskull!), I Did A Half-tutorial, Half-sporadic Notes On How I Generally
As Per Request (thanks, Singingrabbitskull!), I Did A Half-tutorial, Half-sporadic Notes On How I Generally
As Per Request (thanks, Singingrabbitskull!), I Did A Half-tutorial, Half-sporadic Notes On How I Generally
As Per Request (thanks, Singingrabbitskull!), I Did A Half-tutorial, Half-sporadic Notes On How I Generally
As Per Request (thanks, Singingrabbitskull!), I Did A Half-tutorial, Half-sporadic Notes On How I Generally
As Per Request (thanks, Singingrabbitskull!), I Did A Half-tutorial, Half-sporadic Notes On How I Generally
As Per Request (thanks, Singingrabbitskull!), I Did A Half-tutorial, Half-sporadic Notes On How I Generally
As Per Request (thanks, Singingrabbitskull!), I Did A Half-tutorial, Half-sporadic Notes On How I Generally
As Per Request (thanks, Singingrabbitskull!), I Did A Half-tutorial, Half-sporadic Notes On How I Generally

As per request (thanks, singingrabbitskull!), I did a half-tutorial, half-sporadic notes on how I generally render basic expressions.

There’s already a lot of cool tutorials that exist on how to do expressions, so I tried to just look at a lot of really minor details that I’ve used but haven’t seen commonly passed down.

required disclaimer: this is just how I go about it, feel free to ignore bits, steal bits, do whatever you want with them. Hope this helps, and if you have any questions scream at my inbox!

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sanyairana - Sanya i Rana
Sanya i Rana

Alyssa | 27 | Trans (she/her)

253 posts

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