In My Fic, Luz Thinks Of Herself As A Bad Person Trying And Failing To Be Better. That's Her Core Character

In my fic, Luz thinks of herself as a bad person trying and failing to be better. That's her core character trait, her innermost motivator: the ways people hurt her and what she had to do in order to survive have imprinted upon her as evidence that she's irredeemable, but it doesn't stop her from trying. She can't help her past self, so she seeks to help everyone else today and will never feel like it's enough to make up for what she's done. The fact that no one is condemning her is drowned out by how much she hates herself first and foremost among the humanity she hates at large. When they broke her, they broke her faith in people. She gradually regained her trust in others with the unconditional love of Eda and her owl family, but that faith in herself remains shattered. She is Broken and Beloved.

The People I Love Don’t Hate Me Enough

the people i love don’t hate me enough

More Posts from Sanmei and Others

9 months ago

Whenever my squish and I are watching something, inevitably one of us turns to the other and stage whispers, "Make it GAYER."

I took this to heart with my fic.

sanmei - An angel who used to be a library
sanmei - An angel who used to be a library
sanmei - An angel who used to be a library
sanmei - An angel who used to be a library
2 months ago
Awesome Girlfriends Dancing

awesome girlfriends dancing

3 weeks ago

Willow is the best!

Willow, My Beloved.

Willow, my beloved.

I was watching some toh video essays and got reminded how cool Willow is. I love her character arc and (not to sound too preachy) it’s cool to see a character that has a body type more similar to mine be a major player in the story.

(And a reminder that if you think this looks cool, I do ✨commissions✨)

3 weeks ago

Twenty-one sheets of paper. She'd started with just drawing the symbol—there had to be a better word for it. Rune? Glyph, maybe?—over and over, trying to recreate it without a reference this time. The first few didn't seem right, but the fourth clicked somehow. Her lines weren't perfect; the drawing lessons her father had given her so long ago were muddied by years without practice, but there was apparently some amount of leeway permitted.

A single tap and the paper crinkled upon itself and expanded into a dull glowing ball of light, and for a wonder, it didn't even hurt her eyes that much. In fact, she liked it so much that she drew it again and made another light, and then another, and then another, and before long she could draw the glyph from memory.

Twenty-one pages, twenty-one lights. If the light really had played any role in Eda's transforming back, Luz was certainly making extra sure the effect lasted as long as possible. Practical applications, practice makes perfect and all that. She wasn't just making lights for the sake of the sheer giddy joy of doing magic. Just... academic reasons.

sanmei - An angel who used to be a library
sanmei - An angel who used to be a library
sanmei - An angel who used to be a library

Tags
5 months ago

I love these two, even if I put them through way more angst than they deserve.

Veesha My Beloved 🙏🙏🙏 I Love Them Sm, Literally One Of My Favorite Ships.

Veesha my beloved 🙏🙏🙏 I love them sm, literally one of my favorite ships.

I head cannon that vee uses she/they btw!

4 months ago
Last One For Tonight But This Glitradora Cuddles Request Had Me Literally Screaming As I Worked On It

last one for tonight but this glitradora cuddles request had me literally screaming as i worked on it dfjghjdfhgjdfhg

9 months ago

Oh good, I'm not the only writer to realize all these kids should have trauma after everything they've gone through. :)

sanmei - An angel who used to be a library
sanmei - An angel who used to be a library
1 month ago
I Imagine Luz Had A Bad Time During The TTT Timeskip Trying To Keep Up With School While Hosting 5 People
I Imagine Luz Had A Bad Time During The TTT Timeskip Trying To Keep Up With School While Hosting 5 People
I Imagine Luz Had A Bad Time During The TTT Timeskip Trying To Keep Up With School While Hosting 5 People

i imagine luz had a bad time during the TTT timeskip trying to keep up with school while hosting 5 people and being very depressed

3 weeks ago

"I'm the King of Demon Island and I can have hair as long as I want!" Eda leaned out the door to the lounge, wearing a scowl and an apron which read Over Thirty and Still Flirty in a saucy red font. "Yeah, but can the King of Demon Island reach the freezer to get his own popsicles? Checkmate, monarchists." - Six Tropes, chapter 2


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4 months ago
Gives Them A Tiger Blanket,

gives them a tiger blanket,

they deserve it

Zzz

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sanmei - An angel who used to be a library
An angel who used to be a library

A toaster which creates universes from within a tesseract

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