As Someone Who Does Not Like Poetry, You Have Opened My Eyes, This Is Beautiful.

I've seen a lot of people hating on Ray, and it's honestly baffling to me.

As someone who has loved, and been loved by addicts -- someone who was raised by an addict -- it's honestly infuriating and painful to see so many people write Ray off as just a selfish drunk.

At first, it was clear that most people have never met or loved an addict. But it's become more and more about just straight up dehumanizing addicts, as though Ray's alcoholism makes him a bad person who doesn't deserve to be happy.

And like, fuck. If people can't see a character as sympathetic as Ray as a whole person, Ray, whose motivations and hurt are so clear and easy to understand, then what about the people in your lives who are addicts or otherwise struggling with mental illness? What do you think about strangers you might encounter who have fucked up their lives or relationships because of addiction? What about the addicts who aren't so easy to understand and want better for? What hope and care is there for them in your eyes?

Do they not deserve to recover and make amends with those they've hurt and be met with understanding -- not even necessarily forgiveness! Just acknowledgement of their struggle and their attempt to get and be better!

What about the addicts that never really make it out of their addiction? Do they not deserve basic compassion? Yes, even the ones who are mean in their inebriation. Even the ones that can't see or can't care about what they're doing to the people around them.

Ray is easy to understand, and he's easy to love, and some of y'all are holding him to standards the rest of the characters don't have to meet, and it is 100% because he chooses alcohol to cope with and avoid his pain. And I just think you should take a few to really think about why that is.

(it's interesting that Ray's friends and his dad all do this to some degree, this dismissing his worth because of his addiction and reducing him to an inconvenience. That they all dismiss his feelings and his ability to feel, and even tease him about his need to be loved. They all refuse to see when he's trying to be better and making progress, because they've all decided that he can't change, that he can't get sober, and that means they don't have to stop encouraging and enabling his drinking; they don't have to care about him.

Mew gets a pass for his drinking and drug use and assholishness, because they can blame Ray for it.

Sand has been the only person to see Ray as a whole person, and to love him anyway.

It isn't easy, loving someone so deep in their addiction. But Sand knows who Ray is, he sees Ray, and has let himself love him anyway. And some of y'all have decided this means Sand is being stupid, or that Ray has manipulated him into it, and this means they're terrible and toxic for each other.

It's interesting that some people find so little likeable about Ray in particular when the whole lot of them are such a mess.

They're all selfish and destructive in their own ways, but Ray is the one who gets talked about like he doesn't deserve to be happy or redeemed. Because people can't understand why an addict behaves like an addict, and doesn't just choose to stop.)

Anyways, this got away from me.

The way this show is portraying young people living with addiction is so real and accurate, and it's difficult and painful to see Ray and his addiction be treated like he is by the people in his life, and in discussions about him.

I sincerely hope that the people stuck on characterizing Ray as less than never know the pain of addiction, but I really really hope that any addicts in their lives/ who may come into their lives get better from them than they're giving this character who is so clearly good, who is trying, who is so easy to understand; because those people deserve better.

welcome to the “its not gay?” series

hard on sk8 orv and nana

i refused to read orv because for a long time i thought it was a poorly written bl

i got baited so hard for nana

This is how everyone is about maomao and I love it

i think we should all start using arabic words and phrases more often because its a beautiful language and also theres not really. english equivalents that have the same vibes

theres also the comedy potential of it. you guys dont know the joy of having your muslim friend text you "hopefully the racists in our city will all get sick and cant go to the protest" and you, as a pasty white guy, responding with "inshallah they get covid"

its a one hit KO every time. its fucking hilarious. theres no english word that has the same effect.

he also once texted me that he got over a mysterious illness he came down with (i think? i cant remember the exact context) and i responded with "subhanallah he is cured"

again, one hit KO. he lost his shit.

what im saying is we gotta normalise arabic. its just a language like any other, and it has some great words. its just like saying "thank god" or whatever, but theres so much variety and nuance. its beautiful

Genuinely forgotten how to flirt, calling people bro isn't getting me far.

You are really on to something here

I'm almost positive the aggressive sexual visions Great is having is because his future self, the one flatlining in the hospital, is trying to push him towards Tyme faster. Almost everything the visions have allowed Great to correct lead him to Tyme, save lives, and more importantly, establish to Tyme that he has a much better character than the one he saw in the first timeline.

Great helps pick up the papers instead of dashing off.

Great leaves the flowers to be delivered, instead of going in the room, pressuring the woman, and taking a photo.

Great saves Dome, which will have doubtlessly allowed Tyme to overhear that Great was intervening to save a life during his argument with Title, establishing that he isn't like him. It also allowed Tyme to gauge his personality much sooner, as when he gives him stitches, he gets to see a fairly shy and quiet character, and not a mafia don.

For a character that seems to have a bone to pick with Great's family, Great getting to go back and establish he's a good person that just got in over his head feels important. I think that's why episode 2 took care to establish Tyme could fight before showing him intervening to protect Great. I think him protecting Great was a distinct change in their previous timeline. I think future Great was counting on past Tyme to do this with the benefit of hindsight at his disposal.

I think future Great wants to correct the mistake of handling too much on his own, because it's quite clear this is a very isolated and internal character. A lot would have probably been different if he'd opened up to Tyme sooner and made better choices. Given Tyme is also suffering the consequences of the choices made, I really do think future Great is making himself miserably horny using the visions to push his past self into Tyme's path quicker. I think that's why in the clips of the NC scenes we see, particularly the one where Great is riding Tyme, we see his sex face during the exact moment Tyme finally gets it in. I think it's the visions telling him, "Look how great it'll be if you just give in." He's quite literally breaking himself down, which is dark and I love it.

It seems like future Great believes he can protect them both if he puts out sooner, is basically what I'm saying.

This is a truly blessed year for BL.

Its me i am crying

I love the KNH/TAD community bc in one hand, you have anime onlys watching season 2's second ending song saying "oh wow I love Maomao having friends" and then you have LN readers crying and screaming bc of Maomao's friends.

It was good of Bison to make a visual schedule. Having met Style, I’m also not convinced he can read

Maomao knows what it is to be loved. Luomen loves her. Her big sisters love her. Lakan loves her (though she has no interest & may not believe he actually does because of thinking he'd abandoned her & her mother). Those who love her aren't perfect, but they want what's best for her.

And then there's Jinshi.

He has no idea if the people who love him actually do, or if it's because of his position/title/looks. He doesn't have good reason to believe people's feelings about him, because there's almost always going to be a condition to it, or some intention to use him. Even people like Suiren, who do love him, can't love him fully because of who he actually is

And I think that's why he falls so hard and fast for Maomao. Here is this woman that has no interest in his flattery, no desire to climb the social hierarchy at all. She doesn't sugar coat things. Jinshi knows where he stands with Maomao. All the tricks of the trade that he knows don't work on her, but what does work is when he drops the facade & is genuine with her.

Think about the scene when he gives her the hairpin.

It's the first time she's really seen him be himself. There's even a line in it where she is startled by the fact he's being sincere. I think up until that point, she thought he was just a vain & shallow guy. He'd really given her no reason to believe there was anything else to him. She likes seeing him be himself, not some sparkly shell of a person.

Yes, Maomao goes hard with the denial, but she also does show him real feelings. She gives him a measure of grace & is willing to forgive. Most of the time the feelings he gets from her are frustration/aggravation. Other people don't give him that. When she tells him she'll keep his secret & that he'll always be Master Jinshi to her, he doesn't doubt it. He knows he can trust her. In fact, I think he trusts her more than he trusts anyone else in his life. He knows that no matter who he becomes, she's still going to know who he actually is, warts and all.

He is so desperate for real, human connection. So desperate for real love (not even necessarily romantic love, though that's definitely something he wants). I think he's smart enough to know Maomao may never love him the way he loves her. Knows that hoping she will may be little more than a fool's hope. He knows that whatever he does get from her is real, and knows how unlikely it is he'll find anyone else that will be that real with him.