*laugh Track Plays, And The Title Card “everybody Loves Frank!” Appears*

Him tiny

[3 AM]

Mason, rolls over and nudges Woods: If spiders were the size of a cat would they be more, or less scary? On one hand, they wouldn't be able to get into your house easily, but on the other hand? Once they're in there... oh boy...

the button

marlon:FRENCH TOAST DONT PUSH THE BUTTON IT WILL KILL EVERYTHING

me:*pushes button*

marlon:YOU DOOMED USE ALL-

*everyone and every single thing dies*

One of my favorite things about Destiny 2 is how everything just went to absolute shit the moment the Speaker died.

Like Osiris’ useless twink ass nearly gets the universe destroyed because he just has to spend fifteen minutes getting Starbucks while the Guardian fights Panoptes. Rasputin gets riled up and takes over every warsat in the system while Ana’s useless lesbian ass insists that he’s a good guy now. The Guardians are risking life and limb for some Cabal dude they met yesterday because he offered them a shiny new set of armor, Cayde was murdered by a Hot Topic employee and there’s some gamble guy is screaming shit like “EMBRACE THE DARKNESS.” at Guardians as they beat eachother up for loot. Zavala’s probably an alcoholic now.

This is what happens when you kill off the only mom friend.

Bandit: Hey I got two tickets to this new movie-

Blitz: I’m so happy for you! You get to see it twice.

Bandit:

Pathfinder, trying to open a jar: Shitty ass lid!

Bloodhound: [looks at Revenant]

Bloodhound: I wonder where he got that from.

Revenant: The fucking fridge.

“Yumyumyumyumyum…”

The new killer looks amazing! I can’t wait for her to murder me.