Mr. Compress: All The Haters Are Like, “aren’t You Wanted By The State?”

[4:54pm] // B. Katsuki

“fuck,” you cussed for the umpteen time today, mind in overdrive from the numerous math questions you did in the past few hours. it was taking a toll on you and honestly, you just want to take a big fucking nap.

there’s a test tomorrow for class 3A, and the subject was, you guessed it – math.

in the midst of your self-pity, you heard sudden huffing and puffing from behind you, making you furrow your brows.

“you better not be jerking off right now or i will–“

“fuck woman get ya head out the gutter, ‘m just doing some push ups,” katsuki, or better known as your angry-blonde-pomeranian of a boyfriend, interjected as he continued muttering the number of pushups he had done. 195..196..197…

“you didn’t let me finish, i was gonna say that i would join you,” you shrugged your shoulders. “but i guess you clearly don’t want that.”

hearing a growl and a thump, you swivelled your chair around to meet the rather enjoyable sight of a slightly panting katsuki on the floor of your dorm room.

200.

“do you not have to study for tomorrow or something?” you questioned.

katsuki snapped his gaze towards you from the ground, and raised an eyebrow.

“babe, you know i don’t do last minute revision,” he pushed himself off the ground with a smirk, advancing to your desk.

You scoffed at his statement before turning the chair back to face the one math problem you’ve been stuck on for god knows how long.

leaning his body over you, you could feel the dip in your chair from when he placed his arm on the headrest, and his other hand on the desk, the position caging you in. it made you feel safe, oddly.

as katsuki scanned the worksheet, you were busy admiring the slight sheen of sweat on his bicep, deliciously showing off the curvature of muscles.

lick.

a beat passed before you retracted your tongue back into your mouth, seemingly bewildered by your own action.

katsuki was no better, he blinked twice dumbly before registering that you had just licked his arm… his arm.

“What the fu-“

“sweet,”

both of you spoke at the same time, with you sheepishly looking up at his blank yet slightly offended expression.

he stared at you for a few more seconds before sending a quick whack to the back of your head that got you whining in faux pain.

“what was that for!” you rubbed your head with a pout.

“ya fuckin’ idiot,” he sighed exasperatedly but you knew his words and action held no menace, not when there’s a trace of a smile threatening to break through his annoyed facade.

giggling, you looped an arm around his neck above you, pushing it down for your lips to meet. it was a short kiss, but still had the corners of your mouth turn up into an irrepressible smile and your insides warm with affection.

katsuki had his thumb rubbing circles on your head, a silent apology for whacking you in that exact spot a few moments ago.

separating from each other, you could see katsuki’s pink dusted cheeks and awkward borderline smile, it was adorable. he was adorable. so adorable you couldn’t help but coo and pinch his cheeks.

at that, his awkward smile disappeared into a scowl. his ruby eyes narrowing at you.

“tch, c’mon, what’s the problem with this question?”

god, do you love your boom boom boy.

bullying katsuki cuz he’s so fun to tease

now, don’t get me wrong, kit kat lays down pipe like a super mario bro, but that’s doesn’t mean he should get cocky! sometimes he needs to be reminded that he’s obsessed with you and needs you more than air 💞

Ok, so maybe you don’t have as much experience as katsuki, (like none at all, he was ur first) but you’re pretty sure he’s great, and you’re pretty confident you’re ok too. At least that’s what he tells you, and you’ve elected to believe him.

the first few times were pretty awkward, still nice, but a bit clunky. after you get in the rhythm of things tho, you guys are at it like bunnies. it’s pretty clear that katsuki is good at what he does, you cum and you cum hard.

so when ur laying on his chest one day after getting your back blown out, you decide to be really annoying.

“sigh... you suck.”

“what?”

“That was like really bad”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You have terrible dick game, i’m sorry i had to be the one to break it to you”

He furrows his eyebrows before he realises it’s a stupid joke. Rolling his eyes, he pulls you in closer, smushing ur boobs against his side even more.

“Be quiet”

“I’m just speaking my truth katsuki. You are abysmal.”

“Shut up. as if you didn’t just nut.”

You snort and hold him tighter. he’s so warm and cozy, you want to suck his dick sometime soon.

“silence, you don’t know anything about me. I could’ve been faking.”

he lets out a huff. He knows you’re only kidding, but he’s beginning to get defensive.

“i know- i know everything about you. stop being annoying.”

“Ok.”

You yawn and close your eyes. the room becomes nice and quiet, and the BUFFOON actually thinks you’re done. As soon as his eyes flutter closed, you strike.

“Worst dick i ever had,” you whisper, giggling as his eyes fly open and he looks down at you angrily.

“Bitch-! only dick you ever had, fucking virgin.”

You gasp in shock! how could he!

“katsuki!!! that’s mean!!”

“What-! You said worse to me!”

You press your face into his booby and he stares down at you incredulously, but with love also.

“It’s only funny when i do it because you know you’re good! i don’t know i’m good! You’re the cool one, you can’t bully me, that’s just bullying!”

He sighs, examining your little face pressed up against him. well, you’re a pain in the ass, but you’re worth it.

“I only said it cuz you were getting on my nerves,” he says softly, as if you could never get on his nerves really. he places his hand on your head, providing a calming weightiness.

“mm.” you actually look like you might drift off now, and he smiles to himself, a smile that he would never let anyone else see.

“You know... you know i think that you’re amazing right?” you can feel him speak, feel the vibration from his chest. it soothes you.

“yeah.”

“yeah”

“best you ever had?”

“don’t push your luck”

katsuki snorts as you give his abdomen a light thump

“hey! who is it then! go on i can take it!”

“I’m joking babe, of course it’s you.”

He leans down and kisses you on the forehead, which pleases you, but does little to appease you.

“No no, who is it? i’m listening! don’t spare my feelings now!”

that’s when you hear his ugly little gremlin laugh, a laugh he only lets out when he’s with you.

Your frown fades away and you refocus on squeezing him as right as you can.

“why are you so mean to me?”

“Why am i-?!” he pauses, sighs, and lets it go, “i don’t know. i love you.”

“I love you a lot less.”

“mhm”

...

“you know i don’t mean that right?”

“go to sleep y/n”

masterlist

if you enjoyed, pls considering reblogging!!

These tones…

જ⁀➴ Things To Script: Politics Edition

Yes, this is an American aesthetic. Yes it is because I am American.

Elections are completely fair, not rigged, no scandals, fair.

There are no two of the "lesser evils" all candidates are genuinely good people and they want nothing but the best for the country.

All candidates represent the American people, if the American people find that the elected official is unfit they will be REMOVED (yes this is Trump shade.)

There is separation of church and state.

Americans are more open-minded about candidates from parties other than the Democratic and Republican party

(should I just say script out conservatism in general? I mean this is your reality you can if you want!)

We have no official language and ALL languages, cultures, backgrounds are represented and have the ability to be taught.

DEATH to the electoral college.

Fake news, propaganda, lies, non fact checked information cannot make it's way towards journalism.

News outlets have to report TRUE, unbiased information (I'm looking at you FOX)

No trade wars...

America does not involve itself in colonialism, imperialism, militarism, etc (mainly because those things do NOT exist.)

Supreme Court Justices do not rule for life.

There is an age limit to the presidency (this is subjective but personally I don't want an 80 year old president)

The minimum wage is increased from $7.25 (can you believe it's still that) to $20 (or whatever you prefer)

Free healthcare across ALL fifty states.

Planned Parenthood is in every state, providing safe abortions, sex ed, contraceptives, etc to everyone who is in need.

Abortions can NEVER be banned.

Free childcare across ALL fifty states.

Our politicians are civil, cordial, respectful, kind, intelligent (another dig on...let's just say a few people)

World peace

All oppressed/colonized people are FREE and live without any colonial influence.

Affordable prescription drugs.

Baby formula is affordable (this isn't really political but no formula should cost FIFTY BUCKS?)

Gay marriage is legal across all states and can NOT be revoked.

No fascism, Nazism, white supremacy, zionism, any bigoted idealogy in general does NOT exist.

Books are not banned/ can't be banned.

No fracking.

Free college.

No discrimination against ANYONE no matter their race, ethnicity, nationality, origin, sexuality, gender identity, etc.

Rape, sexual assault, pedophilia does not exist.

Crime in general doesn't exist.

Free therapy across the country.

The government actually WORKS to make this country better.

ICE does NOT exist.

Federal assistance programs can NOT be cut.

No wealth gap (no top 1% and the struggling 99%)

No homelessness.

No poverty.

Maternity leave is LONGER (isn't it like 2-6 weeks? come on now...)

Court rulings that have been passed can NOT be overturned (think roe v. wade)

No pink tax!

First time homeowners receive a grant from the government to help them with payments.

Credit scores isn't an issue, anyone regardless of their wealth can purchase a new car/home/rent an apartment.

Native Americans are seen as the true indigenous people of the Americas an they are incredibly respected, the land is returned back to them.

Follow up: Columbus Day does not exist.

The KKK doesn't exist...or MAGA or TRUMP!

No anti-vaxxers (get vaccinated, no they don't cause autism and no they aren't chipping you or whatever right wingers think)

They are laws put in place to protect our planet, nature reserves, recycling is MANDATORY, wildlife parks, etc.

History is NOT erased and is actively taught/encouraged in schools.

Guns...do I even need to explain at this point...

Immigrants are WELCOME and there is no stigma, discrimination or stereotypes about them either!

This country is extremely diplomatic we are on good terms with all countries, every meeting with them goes well and can only strengthen our allyship.

everyone is WOKE, I mean unprecedented woke, profoundly woke EVERYONE GET MORE WOKE NOW!!!

Okay that's all I could come up with for now! Buh bye my loves!

[12:18]

You are a steadily flickering candle in Bakugou’s dim world. He’s not gloomy or upset or tortured– no no, he quite likes the dark.

His mom has always competed with the sun. Bakugou rose first in his childhood home because beating the sun meant a few hours of peace. He wakes up slowly and heavily like he’s shifting under soil. The blankets slip into the creased shapes of his body. In those first few minutes of dark the whole world is buried underground.

Now that he lives with his idiot classmates he sleeps early. Bakugou likes to pull the curtains closed as the sun sets and melt deeply into his too-soft pillow before his eyes can adjust to the dark. Making breakfast alone at dawn, training as loud as he wants to be in the gym across campus lit only by the fires of his quirk. Even at high noon he likes to shower with the lights off, for in these rare moments of dark Bakugou can finally think slowly without competition to worry about. If he lived a quieter life he might even get bored, but blessedly his friends barely spare him a sneeze in peace.

Walking through the halls is like trying to hide from fireworks. Running into Deku is as safe as watching a solar eclipse. He’s blinding and always has been; Bakugou startles every time the fucking kid flashbangs with a ‘good morning!’ or a ‘Kacchan!’ Sparkplug might as well be an electrical fire and Mina makes a blaring siren look like an insult to emergency vehicles. Kirishima is at least tolerable. He shines pink like a happy lighthouse but you still can’t look at him directly for too long.

You though. Bakugou didn’t even notice at first the way you could only be seen in periphery. In the blaring bustle of class and patrol you stayed soft and easy to see. As noisy as the rest but not blinding. Like crouching on the beach and watching a sparkler come to life in your hand. Like polished bells.

If you woke up early enough you might catch him in the kitchen and twinkle sleepily past him like a shooting star through the common room. ‘Mornin’ you’d grumble through a yawn and candlelight would peek out between your fingers when you covered your mouth.

Titling his head slightly to glance at you in class. A halo of gold outlined your body anytime he let himself linger on you like this. Sometimes he saw nothing but you illuminating the vast expanse of peaceful dark. Easier to look at but still warmer than the sun. Maybe the sun couldn’t compete. Oh jesus the sun would probably love you-

“Oi Dynamight,” you murmur.

Bakugou jumps. His cheek falls out of his hand and his elbow slips off the desk. You weren’t the radiant moon basking above rising tide– you were straddling the back of your chair lazily to chat with Uraraka behind you.

Tch, he spits and turns his head quickly towards the window instead.

Your cheek squishes lazily onto your friend’s desk, “you look red, feeling okay?”

“Don’t get us all sick before midterms dude,” Uraraka adds.

Bakugou doesn’t get sick, your sleepy moonglow smile just makes him ache. Not like a sunburn. It’s like being too comfortable in bed for too long. Like a good stretch.

happy birthday katsuki (*ᴗ͈ ˬᴗ͈ )

i love women. i love sleepovers. i love getting ready and taking pictures for no reason. i love sitting on your laptop with a friend shopping endlessly online. i love going to starbucks. i love wearing fuzzy slippers and matching pajamas. i love having a intricate nighttime routine. i love silk scrunchies. i love heart shaped anything. i love everything sanrio. i love having multiple little compact mirrors just because they’re cute. i love pretty baked goods. i love being a girl!

TW: smoking, weed, suggestive?

Imagining getting absolutely out of your mind crossed on a rooftop with Dabi.

——————-

He’s leaning against a corner of brick, smoke billowing from his nose when he laughs at a joke you made, the scarred skin underneath his eyes pulling tight as his eyes crinkle with laughter, hands clutching his side.

It wasn’t even particularly funny, but between the booze and the weed, his guard was lower than usual.

You enjoyed your rooftop adventures with the man for that very reason. It gave you glimpses of what he was like before he built all those walls, before his only dream was destroying his father.

You would’ve liked the old Touya, you think.

You take the moment to just look at him fondly while his attention is elsewhere, your own softer laughter bubbling up at the sight of his happiness.

He draws his legs up as he leans back, wiping his eyes with his thumb as if he’d been on the verge of tears, eyes settling on you warmly. He settles his elbow on one of his knees as he tilts his head to rest on his fist, studying you intensely as you take another long sip from the bottle of whiskey between the two of you, and he stifles a chuckle when you grimace at the taste.

His mouth quirks up in a gentle smile as he holds out the smoldering joint in offering after a moment, still held too close to his body for you to reach from where you sit.

You heave yourself forward onto your knees, body stretching to reach for the joint. The moment your fingers brush against his, he’s pulling back with a grin, holding it just out of your reach.

You frown at him as he presses the weed to his lips and inhales deeply, exhaling smoke away from you as you settle between his legs, arms crossed.

He takes in your pout and chuckles, leaning forward so that his face is inches from yours, his hand reaching to brush a strand of hair away from your face. His thumb is soft when it traces over the skin on your cheek, following a path to your bottom lip and you can’t help the way your pulse jumps.

He watches intently as he tugs it down slightly, wishing he could sink his teeth into it when it snaps back into place.

“Open,” he murmurs, pressing his thumb past your lips to press down on your tongue, your mouth widening immediately.

His eyes are hooded, from the weed or from the way you’re so obedient, so pliant for him, you’re not sure. He uses his other hand to inhale for a long moment before he leans forward and blows the smoke directly into your mouth, watching your eyelashes flutter and tongue pulse under his finger before he’s releasing you.

He slides a hand behind your neck as he chases the smoke with his lips, unable to help himself and slotting his mouth over yours easily as you lean into him. He half heartedly stamps out the joint to free his other hand, both coming to cup your face as he pulls you in closer.

You’re the first to pull away, when he guides your hands under his white shirt and the familiar feeling of his skin and staples beneath your palms snaps you out of your stupor. You’ve done this all before and you know that just like before, it’s going to end badly for you.

“Dabi,” you warn softly, his breath fanning out over your bottom lip as his forehead presses against yours.

“Touya,” he corrects, voice low. “For you, it’s Touya.”

You know you shouldn’t let him draw you back so easily, but when he leans in again, you don’t stop him.

Ingredients: Katsuki Bakugou

Contains: headcanons, soft Bukugou, OOC Bakugou, love and sweetness, written on my tablet, self-indulged, my brain

couldn't think of proper grammar,

Type of order: Hot chocolate(fluff)

Summary: Just some headcanons about soft!Bakugou

A\N: It's around midnight and I needed to get this out of my head before going to sleep. Please enjoy.❤

He will cook for you on his days off

On your bad days he will make your favorite dish

Cuddling with him until both of you fall asleep + pillow talks

Hums to you (especially when you're anxious)

When the two of you are alone he lets you do his hair (even braiding it)

Has an All Might Plushi

Back hugs, and when he gives them to you he nuzzles his head in the crook of your neck (when you're taller than him, he hides his face in your back)

Will take you on wholesome dates, like picnics or beach dates

Whispers sweet nothings to you

Loves leaving Hickey's on your stomach, color bone or in the crook of your neck. (If you don't like hickeys then ignore this pls)

Pillow fights until you both lay laughing on the floor

Secret wife? Secret wife?

#draftdump and no edit

You're Bakugou's side kick- have been for a few years now but with it being your day off you aren’t at the office instead at home folding Katsuki’s Laundry, meal prepping for the week and making spicy curry for lunch tomorrow, for you and your husband.

You're folding his iconic skull T shirt, your kitten, Boom Boom, sleeping in your hoodie when you get the call from the hospital- they don’t call you by your hero name no they address you by your last “hello? Y/n Bakugou? This is nurse Kiyoko from Mustafu Provice hospital your Husband Bakugou Katsuki is currently in the trama unit about to undergo a minor surgery for-“

You don't let the nurse finish before you’re already pulling out the drive way in Katsuki’s orange Jeep. Not having heard the words "minor" only "Katsuki hospital", "husband", "trauma", and "surgery". As you half hazardourdly park the car in the ER parking lot not caring if the car gets towed or that you made a 25 minute drive in only 8.

Your bursting through the doors of the ER ignoring the nurses and clergery staff that tell you you aren’t authorized passed the waiting room and you don’t stop running stomping your way through the halls until you spot Kirishimas red hair, Minas Pink skin and the heterochric eyes of Shoto as you make a bee like straight for them. You aren’t in your hero suit so you don’t expect the medical staff to know who you are. Shit you aren’t even in real clothes just one of Bakugous sleep shirts and a pair of purple spandex, still in your Dynamite house slippers when two buff nurses attemp to stop you in your tracks

“Ma’am I don’t know who you are but you cannot be here!” One of them all but shouts in your ear

While the other day “someone get security!”

It isn’t until you elbow one in the stomach that Shoto voice can be heard from the door way of Katsuki’s room flanked by Mina and Eijiro “She’s with us guys-“

Mina tries to help, you know she is when she supplies a “that’s his side kick!”

And Eijiro just looks confused because how did you know they were in the hospital? Katsuki deliberately told him not to call you on your day off, and he promised he wouldn't not even questioning why the blond thought he would call his sidekick for a minor injury.

It isn’t until you muff the second man in scrubs in the face that you shout at them “his wife has every right to be here you fucking shit head! You fuckers called me!”

And your pushing your way past everyone until your by the blonds bedside he looks out of it and confused and his left arm is all bandaged up but he still recognizes you immediately when he turns his head to the nurse changing his IV

“You called my Wife?!”

“She is your emergency contact Mr. Bakugou and your power of attorney; the moment we were told you passed out in the ambulance we were obligated to contact Mrs.Bakugou”

“Damn straight she was.” You tell him.

“Like hell you were.” he tell her.

You both shoot daggers at each other for split second before you grab his hand and squeeze it, while glaring down at him. "Be nice to your nurse Katsuki." you chide while scrunching your nose at your dumb, stupid husband "I was worried about you and here you are trying to hide shit from me."

Katsuki's eyes soften before looks away "I just didn't want to worry you." he mumbles.

"I'll always worried. Stupid head."

With a chuckle Katsuki squeezes your hand while looking you up and down, "at least I don't look like a stupid head, why you wearing house slippers in the hospital?"

"because I love your ugly ass, thats why" you sigh, leaning down to kiss his big ass forehead before turning back to the nurse. "Sorry about him, are there any papers I need to sign?"

"Oh no problem Mrs. Bakugou, he was a a treat to talk to while he was going under, wouldn't stop talking about you. All I need from you is a signature for the insurance claim, and a debriefing on post-op care, he should be ready to go home later this evening." she smiles.

Making her way past the other hero's and out the room.

"So were you just not going to tell us you were MARRIED!?" Mina accuses.

Enjiro just looks hurt "Bro how could you not tell anyone? How could you not tell me?"

"They told me." Todoroki supplies.

"Not helping Sho."

"Don't be a snitch icyhot."

"How could you?" Enjiro looks like he's going to pass out, as if finding out his best friend was married might actually kill him.

Bakugou groans while turning his head, but letting go of your hand, shoving his face into your arm.

"we needed a witness and Shoto doesn't have a big mouth like the rest of you guy. sorry" you supply.