I Love How Both The Batfam And The JL Assumed That, Yes, Of Course A Shape-shifting Multi-personality

perfect, don't stop. Give Bruce that one more traumatic incident so that he’ll finally go the therapy. 😈

I think Duke should be immortal in the "cannot die" sense and Jason should be immortal in the "cannot stay dead" sense and that they should keep this a secret from everyone including each other. And then they should both get caught in a situation that Absolutely Should Kill Them Instantly, miraculously not die, and then be like:

Like Jason shields Duke from some massive explosion or something, and Duke is horrified because he thinks Jason just pointlessly sacrificed himself for someone who would've been fine anyway - only for Jason to very casually come back from the dead, look at a completely unscathed Duke Thomas, and go, "Hey, what the fuck."

And Duke should look at a freshly revived Jason Todd and be like, "Me what the fuck? No you what the fuck."

And they end up both agreeing to not say a word about this to the rest of the Bats. Which poses issues. Because here you have a pair of unhinged vigilante siblings that do not fear death, that additionally now know they don't have to fear each other's deaths either, both unwilling to give anything less than everything they have to do what they think is right (and/or what they really, really want to).

So. Some things that happen in consequence:

Duke throws Jason off a fifty-story building in pursuit of some shoplifting rich asshole that was caught on camera insulting Duke's favorite metal band and being a classist fuck about it. This does, incidentally, re-traumatize Nightwing, who was ten feet away and not prepared to see his little brother yeeted off the side of a building, no grapple in sight - but it also traumatizes the shoplifter when Jason lands right in front of him, grotesquely knits himself back together, and rises from the ground in a distinctly horrifying fashion just to beat the shit out of him. So Duke takes the win.

Jason shoots Duke in the head to get him to stop shining light in his eyes in the middle of a gunfight. He does stop, but only because Batman shows up out of nowhere, and now Duke gets to pretend to be grievously injured while Batman yells at Jason about "self-control" and "maturity" and "putting teammates at risk." Meanwhile Duke is playing up this horrible concussion that he doesn't even have. Jason is seething. (Duke gets checked out at Leslie's. They convince her to lie for them by appealing to her inner petty bitch.)

Jason gets his payback a few months later by poisoning himself at an undercover op and subsequently forcing Duke to drag his dead body around a mob-owned nightclub for like half an hour trying to convince seasoned criminals that this brick shithouse of a man sprawled awkwardly across his back is just... really wasted. Totally not a corpse.

Both Jason and Duke get caught in many, many, many explosions after that initial reveal, and it's always terrifying for the rest of the Bats. It gets to a point where Batman refuses to partner Duke and Jason together for literally anything, because they always act fucking insane. Big metal vehicle moving hundreds of miles an hour towards an unsuspecting civilian? That's okay! Jason will just throw Duke in front if it. Unknown, volatile substance potentially being used by a notorious serial killer to murder his victims? No lab testing required! Duke will just pour a whole pint of the stuff on Jason's bare arm to see how it reacts. Bomb that can't be disarmed? Why wait for backup when these two psychopaths can just grab the thing and jump into the harbor? Like, genuinely. The stress. Bruce is one particularly traumatic incident away from actually considering therapy.

Please, someone help me. I am invested. I desire to write this, but I don’t know enough about the lore of either fandom to properly string this along. My need is desperate, and I cannot do anything to satiate it-

In Arkham they don't allow outside media in fear of the rouges getting any ideas. This leads to them treating the staff like their own personal TV show, this leads to a level of parasocial obsession that can often be detrimental (See Harley Quinn as a notable example). So when DR. Jazz Fenton comes in with subtle hinting of government conspiracies and a 'i've seen worse' attitude they are INVESTED. Meany of them are staying just for the show, their plans can wait they NEED to know this woman's backstory.

"hey it's been awfully quiet"

"Yeah, new hire at Arkham, it happens sometimes"

*3 months later*

"sooo"

"yeah something's definitely up"

Meanwhile Bruce, jaw hanging, aghast, frantically trying to keep his hellions from meeting Jonng and Kitty while also trying to figure out how to meet them himself-

DPxDC #12

Johnny 13 and Kitty are from Gotham.

(I Cannot for the life of me find the post that gave me this idea. It was one throwaway line of Ember telling Danny that Johnny 13 used to babysit some kid named Bruce. It was also dpxdc.)

So Johnny 13 was a member of the mob, working for the Waynes. (Thomas and Martha were rich people in Gotham of course they did organized crime)

Johnny gets tasked with babysitting baby Bruce, but always brings his girlfriend Kitty with him. They would be the kind of babysitters that just set the kid up in front of a TV and make out on the couch.

Bruce would just be sat watching The Gray Ghost. Bruce would like them because he would be allowed free access to binge his favorite show.

I also love this plot thread, and hope i gets another part. I absolutely had to share. 😁

When Dick called home, begging to come back from his undercover work, he dialed the wrong number. He dialed Fentonworks phone.

Jack Fenton answered.

Jack Fenton sounds so much like Bruce at first listen if someone is tired and emotionally wrecked that Dick started going on his tangeant, pleading to come home.

Jack Fenton doesn't mind more kids at all! Neither does Maddie!

Jack tells him to come home and gives him the address to Fentonworks, and gets the guest room set up and ready to go.

Dick, finally arriving three days later, still sleep deprived and not all there, stares at the blimp on the building and starts to think he may have dialed the wrong number.

He doesn't have time to cry and go back, though, because Jack and Maddie Fenton whirlwind their way out the door and corral him into his new bedroom, treating him like he's always been their son and he's just been gone for awhile.

And Dick...Dick needs this. He's three steps from a mental breakdown, can't think past two sentences worth of planning, and he hasn't slept in who knows how long. He can regret later, right now, he'll take it.

He allows them to tuck him into bed, allows himself to fall asleep, and leaves the freaking out to a more awake him.

Danny, meanwhile, is having a little chat with a few of the ghosts that regularly follow Dick Grayson, and goes invisible and intangible to just...fly over to where this guy had been and steal the info he was after.

Because holy shit, that dude looks like he needs a break.

Or: Dick gets adopted as an adult by the Fentons instead of Bruce, and gets a really weird support network.

Take a break, pause and watch the adorable bbys cross your screen and just enjoy the peace for a few moments.

now 2 beanie baby dragons are crossing your dash together :3

Disney princess Danny

It’s known that animals can sense death. Instances where pets gravitate to someone on their death bed and dogs barking at ghosts. Danny already knew this from before he half died, so he was expecting animals to rat him out with their sixth sense or become aggressive or cower from him. Instead, they all behaved the complete opposite than he anticipated.

Stray cats come running to rub against his legs, dogs nearly pull arms out of their owners sockets to get close to him, birds bring him trinkets, raccoons lead him to trash cans full of food, and even squirrels and rats get close to just sit on his shoulders. It’s… weird, but not unwelcome. He always loved animals.

Danny had come to semi-trust the animals that come to him. They know where the good food is and drinking water, they know when to steer away from a certain area right before something happens, and they always know when a person is bad or okay. So when an animal leads him somewhere, he follows. Sometimes they need help and he’s the one they go to. He’s helped plenty of raccoons out of garbage bins and cats out of gutters to have a good relationship with the animals of the streets.

What he isn’t expecting is to be led to Robin again and again.

The first time it was a cat. A mangy old Tom cat that rubbed against his torn up jeans and looked back with - Danny swears- a raised eyebrow. Danny follows and soon enough he finds himself standing a few paces away from Robin who is kneeling down to give clean water to the momma cat and her three kittens.

Robin freezes and so does Danny. They stare at each other.

“Um, hi?”

Robin straightens immediately, leaving the water on the ground where the cats can drink. Tom cat swaggers over to guard them.

“Civilian. Is there something I can assist you with?”

The dude is probably a year or two younger than Danny himself and he has to suppress a smile at the formal tone.

“Oh, uh, no? The cat just led me here.”

He can see Robin glance at the Tom cat who was now licking himself.

“Is that so?”

“Yea. Sorry to interrupt. Animals just like me for some reason.”

The three kittens one by one all totter over to him on unsteady legs after they had their fill. The orange one starts trying to climb his pant leg with its short and sharp claws digging into the jean material.

“They really like me.”

He carefully sits down crossed legged so the others could also climb all over him. Robin watches for a moment silently and when he sees Danny react well to the little pricks from tiny claws, he seems it safe enough to return to patrol.

The second time it’s a couple of rats that lure him away to find Robin fighting off more thugs than he probably should by himself. So taking the rats’ movements as encouragement, he takes the closest thing, a piece of plywood, and hit the nearest guy over the head with it. The guy crumbles like a wet sock and Danny is moving on to the next thug.

They sweep the floor with these guys with only a few splinters and a twisted ankle.

“It was dangerous to intervene,” Robin tells him. “I had it handled.”

“Yea, I know.”

The vigilante didn’t seem to be expecting that response from his stunned silence. He straightens as much as he can with bruised ribs.

“Well, I’m glad you know your mistake. Don’t let it happen again.”

Danny neither agrees nor disagrees, just shrugs and allow the rats to climb up his leg to his shoulder. Robin looks at them curiously. Danny gives a salute before leaving. Robin gives him a nod.

The third time it happened the roles are reversed.

Some people from the local gang are bullying the lonely, homeless teen to run drugs for them. They don’t seem to understand the word ‘no’. It gets to the point where Danny finds himself with his back against the wall and all his exits blocked with a guy shoving him again and again.

“Stop it!”

“I’ll stop if you agree.”

“I’m not doing it!”

Frank the raccoon and his buddy Bobby launch themselves at the guy’s ankles. The guy shrieks and pulls a gun.

“No!”

Before Danny can dive for it, a projectile comes out of nowhere to knock it out of his hands. He can’t even process what happened before the three are running away, two raccoons chattering at their heels before coming back to crowd him in worry.

Danny looks up to see Robin with a sword out threateningly, staring at where the three fled. He sheaths the sword after a few seconds.

“Are you okay?”

Danny realizes he’s breathing a little heavy and slows down a bit as he leans over to pet the top of the two heads.

“I’m- yea, I’m okay. Thanks for the save. Those guys were jerks.”

“I’m inclined to agree.”

Robin is staring at the raccoons and it takes Danny a long moment to piece things together.

“Did- did they lead you to me?”

Robin doesn’t answer right away.

“You have loyal friends.”

Danny smiles at the weird compliment. Looking down at the two heroes of the evening Danny is also inclined to agree.

The fourth time is funny in a way Danny doesn’t know how to describe.

It was the pigeons. They were at fault of course for how Robin’s secret identity was outed. By pigeons.

The grey birds swarmed Danny and settled in a cloud of feathers. One holding something in its beak before plopping it down in his lap like a golden retriever. It flaps off as Danny picks up the obvious wallet clip holding quite a bit of cash and a student ID. The card says Damian Wayne from Gotham Academy. Just then Robin comes skidding around the corner, clearly out of breath and freezes.

Danny looks down at the clip in his hand and back up at the vigilante. He looks at the crazy amount of birds around him and again at the vigilante.

Said vigilante straightens and approaches like he called Danny there.

“If I could have that so I could return it to its proper owner.”

He holds out a hand with false arrogance, but Danny can see the nervousness in his stance. Danny looks down one last time before putting the clip in the outstretched hand without a word.

Robin nods once, pockets the ID and money, and immediately leaves.

The fifth time just cements what Danny had already figured out.

He was at the park. Not Ivy’s park of course, the one where people actually like to go. He was helping the squirrels find and hide acorns when he’s nearly knocked over by a massive black dog.

“Titus!”

The end of the Great Dane’s leash is a familiar face. Damian Wayne’s eyes widen in recognition as he finally sees who Titus was so excited to get to.

“Uh-“

Danny has to close his mouth quickly or else the massive tongue on his face would have turned into a French kiss.

“Titus! Heel!”

Danny laughs at the embarrassed blush on the other’s face, obviously not used to his companion going off the rails like this.

“It’s alright. We both know how animals like me.”

Damian narrows his eyes to analyze the teen. Danny wasn’t about to pretend and Damian looked like he was debating whether to follow his lead or not. There was literally no one within hearing distance.

“Have you told anyone?”

Danny thought about redirecting, but thought better of it. He actually liked Robin and what he did.

“Nope. I haven’t and I won’t. I swear.”

Damian tilts his head and then looks down at Titus. He seems to come to a decision before looking back at Danny.

“You’re homeless, are you not?”

Didn’t think they were being that direct but sure.

“Yea?”

“I will pay you in food and shelter to take care of my animals.”

Danny blinks. Then actually considers the offer.

“What kind of animals? How many we talking?”

Damian grins.

The family finds out pretty quickly when a teen they’ve never seen before walks into the Batcave with two pails of food for the bats, Titus at his heels and Alfred the cat perched contently on his shoulders.

Duke stares and Bruce short circuits.

“Um, who are you?”

“Hi! I’m Danny. Damian employed me to take care of the animals.”

“O…kay?”

“And where is Damian?” Bruce sounds like it physically hurts to ask and Danny does not envy Damian’s position right now.

“Upstairs. I think he said he was going to his art studio.”

Bruce marches past the boy to the stairs before stopping abruptly and turning to Danny and Duke.

“Don’t touch anything. Watch him.”

Duke and Danny blink at each other for a moment as Bruce disappears up the stairs.

“I’m Duke by the way.”

Danny grins.

This has killed me with its cold humor

Used to it

Danny was quite desensitized to death by the time he finished High school. And he didn’t mean just ghosts. Despite his stellar record of preventing any deaths during his vigilante career, he still managed to see quite a few dead bodies. Though those usually weren’t in Amity but nearby towns.

Ghosts did need help sometimes to get peace and that often meant that he found their remains and anonymously sent in tips to the police. It’s this reason why when he planned to move to Gotham for College, and after checking out rent prices, he decided to do something that would only aid him in saving money.

He took a week during the summer between semesters and traveled to Gotham. After a few days of scouting (and staying in shitty hotels) he found the perfect place. An unused Mausoleum. It just needed a minor bit of renovation (like adding a bathroom) and it would be perfect.

He went to the library and searched to make sure he knew the information of whose building it was and if there were plans to use it soon. His luck was good and it was considered abandoned. He checked the price and winced. It would take a good chuck from his savings but overall it would save him quite a bit.

Deciding to save money after he bought it, he used ghosts with the right obsessions to reconstruct it. When he started living there he was somewhat surprised at how settled he felt. Turns out he somewhat accidentally made himself his own grave, which was good for his ghost half.

He didn’t realize that his coming and going from the graveyard would be noticed by the bats though. He doesn’t really want to have them digging into his life. He knows it will be hard but somehow he knows they will find something.

Guys, pls, someone write this. I didn’t know I needed this in my life, but now I’m desperate. The chaos! The world cannot handle that many Danny/Dani’s and I need to see it!

DPxDC crack prompt

All of the clones in the DCU are Danny and Dani.

They're immortal protector spirits, and clockwork has informed them of a dimension that is barely holding itself together. With all the multiversal threats, godlike beings vying for dominance, magical and demonic powers constantly at war, and idiot speedsters constantly screwing with the timeline, its a miracle that this reality hasnt already completely collapsed their corner of the metaverse.

This reality also has a lot of fruitloops playing god with cloning technology. Danny and dani come up with a plan: they're going to reincarnate as each and every last clone in this reality. At the end of each life they live, clockwork will pull them backward or forward in time as needed to reincarnate into the next clone. Yes, that means there are multiple reincarnations of danny and dani running around simultaneously. The siblings retain full memories, too.

Maybe they restrict themselves to clones that are programmed with no personality or to behave like robots (dont have unique souls) so we can still keep the likes of Kon or any other clone characters we want to leave unchanged.

Point is, everyone in the DCU has come to the conclusion that there is some sort of intrinsic universal law that the majority of clones, no matter who was cloned, will be requisitioned to some vast eldritch hivemind.

However, nobody figured that out until after several thousand clones had been created and a pattern of them waking up and immediately beating the crap out of their evil creators (the rare-but-not-nonexistant ambivalent/benevolent creators tended to get a free pass), getting in contact with another clone like they had their identities already memorized and set themselves up with (very professionally made) forged identities as random members of society. Some clones had even been rescued by other clones that should have had no clue to their existence, having been created by different underground organizations in separate hidden labs.

At least the hiveminded clones appear to be chaotic-good aligned, even if their constant meddling of justice league affairs is quite annoying.

Just the shanigans that are possible.

Batfam nervous cause they havent heard about anything regarding the league of assassins in months, only to find out that they've been overrun by damian clones that talia created to fight damian. They collectively went 'yeah, no' and yeeted ra's and talia into low orbit.

Cadmus creating an entire society of genetically modified clone-monster-slaves? They reach a critical threshold population, turn on the cadmus staff as one and devour them.

Tim tries to clone Kon and succeeds - only for said clone to slap him in the face and give him mandatory therapy.

I love in DPxDC crossovers when Danny/ghosts are enthusiastic about Damian because he comes across as a baby ghost and they think his aggression is cute attempts to initiate play fighting.

But now I want to see fics where the whole batfam (or most) is liminal/ghostly, and due to his life-long exposure to the puts/Gotham’s ambient exoplasm, Damian is actually the oldest ghost in the batfam. Realms beings telling Batman to be quiet, adults are talking, and then turning to Robin for his opinion.

Me, writing feverishly:

The JL are convinced Phantom is this Ancient Eldritch Being - everyone aside from Batman. Batman's, like, 99.9 percent sure Danny is an actual teenager because his Dad Senses are tingling and also because Danny says batshit insane stuff that all of Bruce's kids also say.

It comes to a head when Danny's in Gotham, doing a stakeout with Batman, Red Robin, Spoiler, and Signal. It's dead silent and then Danny just starts wheezing and says, "You must...."

Tim, Steph, and Duke snap to attention like sleeper agents.

And then they all say, simultaneously in a terrible Romanian accent and intermittent wheezing:

"Bounce on it... *wheeze*... crazy style."

Batman knows, in that moment, that Danny is 100 percent a child. (His kids have been bastardizing Nosferatu quotes and doing the hand-pointing thing for the last two weeks since watching the damn movie during family night.)