Honestly Will Never Forget This Older Client We Had Who Told Me How Her Life Had Gotten So Much Better

everyone shut up and look at this

WAUCE BLAST

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)

So round I had to touch it.

Me, after forgetting to cut the top off an onion before dicing it: “Aw dammit”

The Gordon Ramsey that lives in my head: “Don’t worry there, this mistake isn’t going to ruin anything. No need to be too hard on yourself”

Me: “Wow, that’s…not what I was expecting”

Gordon: “Of course, you ought to know by now that I don’t shout at cooks just to do so. I do it because the people in hit television show Kitchen Nightmares are putting their services out into the public and claim to be good enough to have the title of head chef. You’re just some guy in your twenties making beef stroganoff for yourself and your roommate. I’m kind of a dick, yeah, but I’m not gonna scream at you for a minor mistake like this”

Me: “Oh….well…thanks”

Gordon: “You’re welcome…cunt…”

I fucking despise when a middle schooler is like “I hate being 13.” and everyone is like “Oh honey, it only gets worse. You don’t know the meaning of struggle.” like no. Let’s be honest. 12-15 is a really difficult age to be. It’s usually when you start waking up to how fucked up the world around you is but you’re still so young and immature that you can’t begin to fix it. It’s a time of horrible change, mentally, physically, prospective-wise.

Personally, it was when the onset of my mental illness developed. My parents’ marriage dissolved in a series of drunk sometimes violent arguments, I was stuck in the house with them, helpless to leave. I would rather kill myself than be 13 again in all honesty. The best part of being 13/14 is that you’ll never be 13/14 again.

Mushrooms are so fucking weird

Physiologically, the cells of a mushroom are more similar to the cells of a steak than those of a plant

You put a mushroom into a mri and you’ll get an image that shows they have as much electrical activity as any brain.

We know that the mycelium, the main body of the mushroom, is interspersed into the soil, that the head of the mushroom itself is just the flower or fruit.

We also know that most plants grow better in soil with a living mycelium, and that branches of it will create small nodes that attach to the plants roots

Large old trees have shown that they have smaller rings in years where younger plants did well. Young plants do better when there’s older plants and mycelium present, even when there is no difference in nutrient content. The older plants are using the mycelium to communicate, to detect the presence of young plants and delegate resources to them. They’ve done this for millions of years, living in communal symbiosis.

They’ll help deliver water to places they’re more dry, sugars to places with less sunlight, and even carry minerals and other nutrients from place to place. The plants access the mycelium as a social network, to communicate their needs and offer any access resources they have.

Plants have had internet millions of years before humans ever even walked the earth

cats + nature <3