Super Late To The Party Here, But Honestly All I Wanted Out Of The Loki Series Was At Least Neutral Rep

Spin this wheel to get a weapon for a zombie apocalypse.

What were Loki lectures for? I see no effects on the series whatsoever.

as a marginalized person who practices karate, please for the love of whatever god(s) you believe in, PLEASE NEVER PUT YOUR THUMB INSIDE YOUR FIST, YOU WILL BREAK YOUR THUMB/OTHER FINGERS

for lack of a good diagram, i have emojis: 🤛 👊 🤜 ✊️

if you want a little bit of extra stab with your fists, try extending your index and middle finger just a little bit, keeping the fist form, but having those two fingers being slightly more forward than the others

make sure to punch forward, as opposed to swinging your arm around your body for the momentum, it will show your inexperience and will be child's play to grab and use against you

i would agree with what op said about the cheekbone and nose for a targe, but if you want an alternative/are unable to reach your opponent's face with your strikes, consider hitting them in the throat or the diaphragm (which is the area right under your ribcage

i wouldn't recommend kicking unless you know how to do it right. this isn't karate kick, the crane kick will not work. if you can sweep their legs safely, attempt that, a person on ths ground will be unable to fight you as well from below (depending on their training) and provides you an opportunity to escape

honestly, the biggest tenant in karate is defense first. if you are safe to do so, always run away from a fight. you do not want to be in a fight for any longer than absolutely necessary

If you are a visibly disenfranchised person in America (by race, gender, sexuality, physical ability, or any other definition) and are worried about violence carried out in the name of sycophants, I would strongly recommend arming yourselves.

Brass knuckles are not illegal at the federal level, although many states have their own laws. They work in two directions: the brass rings increase the injury you do onto someone else, while the palm grip redistributes the kickback so that you're less likely to break your own fingers. Kevlar gauntlets, like the ones I wear for motorcycling, help with the latter more than the former.

Switchblades are becoming increasingly legal on the state level thanks in large part to an EMT lobby -- carrying a collapsible blade is helpful when your job involves cutting people out of their seatbelts in vehicle collisions. They come in two types: side-loading and out-the-front. OTF is triggered faster in an emergency.

In both cases, remember that most things are only illegal if you get caught. The issue comes in states where the sale of brass knuckles or switchblades are illegal, which makes them harder to acquire. If you can find a way to send a care package via a reputable courier, you should have no problem transporting across state lines. (My OTF blade came to PA nestled between a pair of sneakers.)

Handguns are easy to purchase in just about any state. Check your state laws to see whether you need a permit and/or to register your firearm to conduct a sale, but unless you're a convicted felon, the process is fairly straightforward. Always hold a handgun with both hands and practice at the range until you're confident in your aim and your stance.

Long guns are not going to be particularly useful on the street. You're unlikely to get the distance from your target to maintain your accuracy. They're more useful for standing your ground on your own property.

Bows are my favorite weapon to handle, but I would not recommend them for protection. It takes years of practice to fire them accurately, and you need space both to draw back the string to your ear and to fire at a distance. Arrows need a certain amount of momentum behind them, snap shots don't really work. Entry-level bows are cheaper than entry-level guns and that's the only edge I will give them.

General advice:

Put spikes anywhere you don't want people grabbing. Wrists and shoulders are the most obvious places. Punks don't just wear them for decoration!

Slip-resistant boots help you hold your ground in a tussle, and most come with an additional benefit like a steel toe or impact-resistant material.

When aiming with brass knuckles or bare fists, aim for the nose and the cheekbone. Both break easily and cause a shockwave of immediate pain that will make your attacker retreat.

Aim for center mass when possible with any type of puncturing weapon. It's the biggest target with the most important organs.

If you are put in a headlock, the thigh has both sensitive nerves and the femoral artery, and it's probably the most available target to you.

Strangling someone might seem like the nicer option, but it's the most dangerous for you. You need at least 10 seconds to strangle to the point of unconsciousness, during which your hands are both occupied and you can't defend yourself as well. Always go for an immediate, painful injury that will disrupt your attacker's attention.

Any protection - body armor or weaponry - is better than no protection. My motorcycle armor was designed to keep me from breaking every bone in my body in a crash, but the way it redistributes bludgeoning force also helps against baseball bats and batons.

Most people are not as prepared to receive physical violence as they are to dole it out.

Reblog if you only stayed with Marvel this long because of Loki

“now she wants to do transgender operations on illegal aliens that are in prison!”

dude what?

LOKI-CENTRIC GEN LIST

This is everything that doesn't fit on the Fix-It rec list (here, with a part 2 in the works) or the ship-centered rec list (still under construction). Kid!Thor and Loki, pre-canon adventures, missing scenes, AUs that don't quite fit the fix-it fic list, and a wee bit of angst to make you savour the fluff even more. Fics listed alphabetically by author; names that start with numbers are treated as if the numbers were spelled out ("00Cat00" is filed under "Zero...", for instance.) Feel free to suggest you favourite fics for future lists! *********

Yet Our Roots Remain As One by afteriwake --  What if Loki had been in Frigga's chambers instead of Frigga when Malekith stormed them, looking for Jane and the Aether? A rare angsty rec, but one that is much more satisfying than canon.   

Ask Me No Questions by @alex51324 -- Post Avengers AU. Loki is living in Avengers Tower with his magic bound and only able to speak to truthfully answer direct questions.

Figment by anonymous -- Every night, Prince Loki of Asgard has nightmares of a horrific life on Jotunheim. Or is the other way around? (This is a fantastic story.)

Rise by Anonymous -- An AU of Thor, with certain significant events happening differently. It was abandoned at a point where it could either be a fix-it for Loki or end up following the same angsty path, depending on your preference. There's enough changed (for the better) interactions between Loki and each member of his family that it's worth the read despite its unfinished status. (On LJ, chapters go up to 41b.)

No Report of How You Fare by artyartie -- Odin sees through the guard’s glamour

Cracks In the Illusion by awanderingbard -- A terrified young Loki sends for his mother after waking from a nightmare having shifted into his Jotun form.

Better In The Morning by @bedlamsbard -- There is more than one Asgardian variant in the TVA. Loki meets some alternate versions of his family. (Last updated 3/22, but nearly 90k words of an extremely good story.)

A Rescue Mission by doctorgeology -- A very young Thor and Loki have to entertain themselves for the day until their mother returns from an off-world trip.

The child-King of Asgard by @898700 (ghostwriter) -- Loki is still a child when Thor is banished to Midgard, and divides his time between competently undertaking some of the king's duties and sitting with his father while Odin Sleeps.

Once We Were Young by @fallintosanity -- A series of tales of Thor and Loki's childhood, from baby Loki fluff to early adventures with the Warriors 3. Good parent Odin.

From the Altar to the Cradle by Fernajen -- Odin brings baby Loki home

The Weeping Siren by @galaxythreads -- a pre-canon quest to rout a demon from the forest called the Blodig Skog goes horrifically wrong, with Sif, Loki, and the Warriors 3 captured and tortured for months while an injured Thor desperately tries to find them and escape the wood himself. An intense fic that's heavy on the hurt, but the ending is worth it.

Storms by @haeva -- Frigga wakes to the sound of a crying baby Thor and a missing husband.

Pendulum by @hariboowrites -- Post Avengers, Jane’s work on building a bridge of her own pulls her across the cosmos to Asgard, but the Bifrost still lies broken.

Self Hatred Is A Tragedy In Itself by @harmlesshagofthewoods -- Experimenting with shapeshifting; kid Loki breaks the spell keeping him looking like an Aesir and all too quickly finds himself running for his life from the people of Asgard, who only see a Jotun in their midst. Hurt/comfort, 2 out of 3 chapters written, ends with him safely in the healing ward.

A Promise of Protection by Haruko-Mizumi -- Post Avengers, Thor remembers the first time he met his little brother.

Keep your heart around (you might need it someday) by Illasa, tipitina -- A magically de-aged child!Loki is taken care of by Tony Stark and the rest of the Avengers until help comes from Asgard to restore him.

Lost Kings, Fallen In The Mist by Infinite_Monkeys (aka @aninfinitenumberofmonkeys) -- Exhausted from years (centuries?) of timeslipping and failures, Loki finds himself back on Asgard. Set during the Loki series season 2 finale. Also:

Adventures in Parenting -- When Frigga says 'no' to the idea of them raising Loki as their own, Odin says he'll raise Loki himself then, already too attached to let another couple have him. And that means entirely by himself, since he does not yet trust Loki to hold his shapeshift if left alone with servants, until Frigga takes pity on her sleep-deprived husband.

Delicacies by @jaggedcliffs -- There are tales that the Jotnar feast on Aesir flesh. Less known are the places on Asgard where the reverse is true. A tale in three parts. Also:

(I Don't Give A Damn About My) Bad Reputation -- After Prince Loki helps Hildy Volstaggsdottir and her siblings when they get lost in the palace following a late night adventure, she seeks out his help when they find a grievously wounded ampithere, hoping he can save it. The tale ranges from pre-canon fluff to plot to angst as it catches up with the events of the movies.

Farbautison by jalendavi_lady -- A sadly unfinished series, but an enjoyable read. An AU that focuses on things going better with his parents and the Warriors Four when Loki learns of his heritage after the events on Jotunheim. Now, if only some of the older warriors who had always known as well didn't want him dead...

Once More, With Empathy by Kairyn -- Thor and Loki share the spotlight here, with a Thor time traveling back to childhood determined to be a better brother so Loki doesn't end up dead (as he thinks) on Svartalfheim. A very long fic that the author decided to break into parts for easier manageability; part one is complete at 65 chapters, part two is still a WIP.

This Road We Take by @karuvapatta -- Frigga welcomes Odin and baby Loki home. Fluff shadowed by her visions of Loki's future as the family spends some happy time together helping Loki learn to walk some years later.

Any Need As Strong by @katbelle -- A series of glimpses into Odin's life, starting with his life as a second prince not meant for the throne to fatherhood and raising the son that he chose, the son that is most like him, the son that he loves and wants, more than anything, to be happy -- Loki.

Doomed To Repeat It by Kay -- Thor and the Warriors 3 are searching for a Loki who has escaped from prison when a magical storm transports a younger version of the two princes into their midst. Young Loki soon realises that his older self is suspiciously missing and guesses something bad has happened, while Frigga urges that he be told the truth that destroyed his older self. As young Loki hears the truth from Odin, older Loki finds young Thor alone and tells him his own version of events. An angry younger Thor confronts older Thor and Odin as the fic ends. INCOMPLETE, but worth reading, the place it ends will give you lots to think about.

Syrgja by Lady Charity -- A mute, half-dead Loki who has spent centuries being tortured by Thanos is taken in by the Avengers. Meanwhile, Thanos gathers his forces to attack all the Nine Realms. Very AU and lots of hurt, but gripping and well-written with a mostly happy ending. Also:

of the cold and brokenhearted -- When Odin sentences Loki to be stripped of his magic post-Avengers, he goes too far and Loki's Jotun form is revealed to all those watching at court. But as a horrified, stricken Loki drops to his knees, he is surrounded by the family who loves him and all might not be lost.

Origins by LedaSF (aka @iamhisgloriouspurpose) -- Odin finds a hidden baby in a temple filled with Jotun bodies. Loki's childhood is not an easy one, with Odin reluctant to follow Frigga's urging to tell Loki of his heritage, until the Casket of Ancient Winters finally shows Loki where he came from, and the lies have to end. Loki's mother is Laufey here, and died shortly after his birth. Farbauti is his father and wants him back, but also recognises Loki might be happiest staying with the family who raised him. It ends where canon starts, with Loki letting the Jotnar into the Vault, but things are different enough that subsequent events could never be the same. Lots of detailed backstory and exploration of the family dynamics between Thor and Loki and their parents.

Imposter by Lethwen -- Odin runs into who he thinks is Thor one evening in the palace, and invites him back to his rooms for a shared dinner. 'Thor' is actually a disguised Loki, however, who both enjoys spending more time with his father but increasingly resents the ruse as time passes, despite Odin seeking out Loki in an effort to spend more time with him too. Plus, Odin is becomingly increasingly suspicious of certain oddities about "Thor's" behavior during many of their encounters, and finally confronts Loki about the deception just as the fic ends, frustratingly unfinished, but it's such an interesting and well-written premise that I decided to include it here anyway.

Birthright by Lise (aka @veliseraptor) -- Five times Odin nearly told Loki about his heritage. Pre-canon.

This is my brother and no you may not hold him by lunik -- Thor wants to introduce baby Loki to his friends.

And I Would See You Forged In Steel ‘verse by Mira_Jade. -- Extends from pre-canon tales of Thor and Loki and Sif growing up together to post-Avengers and a Loki who is trying to make amends with both the Avengers and his family and Sif. In the chronologically last (and sadly abandoned) fic, Loki is allowed to return to Asgard for an AllMeet with Alfheimer. He tries to settle back in and gets swept up in intrigue when the escaped Draugr Thorolf possesses both Jane and Bruce. Includes:

Envelope Bones Like New Skin -- A pre-Thor fic set in the Steel ‘verse. Thor’s recklessness on a quest ends up with Loki deliberately drinking a poison meant for Thor. When the antidote meant for an Aesir fails, Thor and Sif must quest to Niflheim to bring back the waters that will cure Loki, as he clings to the barest hold of life.

Figment by Moiraine -- Loki has nightly dreams of a nightmarish existence on Jotunheim, always desperately seeking for the way out and back to Asgard and the family that loves him. Meanwhile, Thor learns to stop speaking of his imaginary friend -- the brother he's always wanted -- as he grows older, but Loki is as real to him as if he truly existed. As real as the small Jotun who suddenly appears one day in the palace.

moonshadows’ series on dreamwidth: Loki sacrifices all so Thor can regain his worthiness, becomes friends with Darcy on Midgard and an Avenger, and eventually marry. Odin’s a good dad.

Midnight Offering by Mythtaken Identity -- It started with toddler Loki seeking out his father in the evenings and Odin settling him on his lap and sharing his meal while he worked instead of sending him back to bed. It ends much the same way, except it is Odin who seeks out his son in the dungeons with the hope of fixing what was broken. Also:

The Day He Was Clever, The Day He Was Strong -- Young Thor drags an unwilling Loki along on a dangerous adventure, but when Loki pays the price of saving their lives, Thor does everything that he can to get his brother home safely.

Paper Arts by newredshoes -- A quiet moment between young Loki and his mother, with a hint of underlying melancholy at the end.

Memories of Another Timeline by @nice2meetu -- Dragon!Frigga is happy to welcome alligator!Loki into the family when dragon!Odin comes home from war carefully bearing an egg which he found. 🐊

Echoes of the Frost by ninepen -- After Loki attacks and is badly beaten by some older boys who said that Odin wasn’t his father, Frigga reassures him on the matter and insists Odin spend the whole of Loki’s 12th birthday doing something special with his son. One of the best fluffy Odin/Loki bonding fics I’ve ever read. 

A Well-Timed Retreat by NoRationalThoughtRequired -- All Odin wanted was a peaceful meal. Instead he got two bickering children at the dinner table.

Oblivion by NovaWasTaken1 -- Alone in his cell, Loki fights to untangle the web of spells left behind in his mind by Thanos and the Black Order, alone except for Frigga's insubstantial presence and support, and finally, the brother she sends his way. Angst.

A Father's Love by orphan_account -- After Midgard, Loki fears he won't survive the 100 lashes that Odin sentences him to for his crimes. Then Odin steps forward to bear the punishment for Loki, claiming responsibility for his part in Loki's actions, and Loki, struggling and restrained by guards, must watch and realise that he is truly loved.

The unfailing love of children and gods by orphan account -- I hate to recommend fics that start strong and then are frustratingly abandoned, but there's some good Odin and Loki fluff in here. Starts with a Loki who died horribly in Ragnarok and now, as a child in a new cycle, remembers that previous life. The fic begins to explore how things might have worked out differently.

Even when my eyes are open, I cannot see you by overindulgence -- Instead of opening a timedoor to the TVA, Sylvie accidentally opens a timedoor to Loki's original timeline -- to a future Asgard devastated from the war with Thanos, but one in which his parents are still alive and fighting. (Loki series AU post episode 6)

The God of Stories series by Pimento_Mori -- Mobius decides to show Loki some of the happier scenes from his life. Most of the fics work as stand-alone stories from Thor and Loki's childhood with no mention of the TVA.

Asgardian Family Fluff by Poisonous Jester -- Small scenes from the boys' childhood.

Oblivion by Ranowa -- Alone in his cell except for Frigga’s intangible presence, Loki fights to undo the spells the Black Order laid on his mind. 

Enough For Both by @saentorine -- Frigga dismisses Odin’s offer to find a wetnurse for the baby he has brought her; she has milk enough for both her sons. 

The Weight of Family by shiny_n_new -- During his time posing as Odin, Loki learns some things about his father and brother when he seeks to delve into the ravens’ memories. 

Winternight by @sholio -- Jane attends an autumn festival on Asgard, one that pays tribute to the dead. Post TDW.

Who Are You by snowytuesdays -- Loki disappeared from Asgard 50 years ago. Except he never left. The story is marked as complete, but it ends with the mystery only partly solved. Worth if for family reunion fluff, though.

One Shot by @squeeb100 -- This time, Endgame!Thor stops to talk to Loki in his cell. Who knows what it might change?

Interventionism by @taaroko -- When Thor and Loki are sent to retrieve the recently resurfaced Tesseract from Midgard and a fallen warrior whom Heimdall saw go down in the ice, they find more than they expected and their paths twine with that of Steve Rogers for a while. A mix of fix-its and action adventure on Asgard and Midgard circa WWII.

All This and Heaven Too by @takadasaiko -- When Odin falls ill while investigating a mysterious plague, Thor insists on seeing his father, and Loki, unable to stop him, tags along, figuring his Jotun heritage might make him immune. But it turns out that he shares a bond with his father that Thor doesn't. Also:

Trick or Treat -- Halloween fluff with the princes and Jane on Midgard.

Fleeting Moments -- Odin decides to take his younger son aside for a special lesson after seeing Loki defeated yet again in the sparring ring -- one that Loki unexpectedly enjoys. Pre-canon.

A Collection of Old Memories: Of Children by @Tandirra -- A glimpse into the lives of young Thor and Loki. While Thor looks forward to playing with a group of diplomats’ children every Friday, Loki quietly amuses himself at his parents’ feet and Frigga entertains them both with stories and illusions in her garden afterwards, cherishing every moment. 

let green sea rise up to meet you by thegreatpumpkin (aka @brazenbells on tumblr) -- Selkie!Loki is washed ashore, injured, after a storm and is found by his long-lost brother Thor, the two having been separated when their mother fled back into the sea with baby Loki, leaving Thor to be raised by Odin on land. Still gen enough that I'm placing it here, but will move to the ship rec list if and when the tagged Thorki develops more. A fantastic beginning; WIP.

All Great Quests Start Small by @theotherodinson -- Two small princes sneak out of their nursery in quest of apple tarts.  Also: 

The First Three -- Odin just wants baby Loki to say “Papa”. 

Please Look Both Ways Before Crossing the Bifrost -- When Odin wakes from a horrifying nightmare in which all the events from Thor through The Dark World have happened, he vows to make sure those things never happen. As part of this, he determines to forge a closer relationship with Loki, which starts off well and then goes downhill in a hilarious fashion as Loki realises there can be such a thing as having too much of his father's attention. Pre-canon humour and Odin trying his best to be a good dad. Also featuring Thor, Frigga, and the ravens in starring roles.

Inversionverse by thewickedloki -- What if Loki had been stripped of his powers and cast down to Earth instead of Thor?  Series incomplete; current ending has Loki being welcomed back home to an Asgard preparing for a war with Thanos. (Burgeoning Lokane) -- NOTE: This has been taken down but I'm leaving it here in case anyone has a copy or a link to it from another site they'd be willing to share.

With His Tail In The Air by @tirsynni -- After the snake/stabbing incident, Loki shows Thor what else he can transform into. Chaos results and Odin needs a stiff drink. 

If It Takes A Thousand Years by @victoriousscarf -- Feels like it’s going to be a fix-it, but it’s still very much in progress* so I can’t say for sure. Clint is dreaming of Loki every night, a Loki who is someplace where he is being hurt badly and not healing. Then Thor arrives with news that Loki escaped from his cell on Asgard, and that their mages say that Loki has a bond with Clint, and Thor wants Clint’s help to find Loki. Avengers road trip into space to find Loki. (*Author confirmed in a reply dated Sept. 2022 that they still want to continue this.)

Thor and Loki Drabbles by wbss21 - Odin does his best to comfort a young Loki when he needs it.

Truth, Lies, and Bilgesnipes by wedgetail -- Young Loki gets badly injured while Frigga’s away from Asgard, leaving Odin to step in and do his best while concurrently dealing with an important delegation from Alfheim.  

Family, episode 1: Foundling by Whytewytch -- Odin brings baby Loki home to Asgard and Frigga. The first in a series of related vignettes.

If, Just Maybe by winterdusk -- series in which young Loki has long suspected he’s not Frigga’s own child. But when Loki is stabbed by a cursed blade in his first battle, Thor sees Eir stabilise his dying brother with a poisonous herb and a glimpse of blue skin before he’s ushered out of the room. Encountering a web of lies and secrets when he takes his questions to his parents, Thor seeks an answer in the library, finally discovering the fact that the herb comes from Jotunheim, and is not toxic to the Jotnar. 

Tumblr Prompt Fics by woodelf -- Fluffy short stories from Thor and Loki's childhood.

Don't Forget Me and the Things We Did by @worstloki -- Thor AU. After Thor's banishment, Loki comes down to Midgard to tell him that Odin fell into the Odinsleep, that he's a Frost Giant, and that he's leaving Asgard. Shackled to the chair in the SHIELD base, Thor can do nothing but watch his little brother walk out of his life.

The Kitten From the Basket by zaniida -- What if the Jotnar were big cats and the Asgardians were dogs? A rewrite of the Vault scene where Loki finds out his heritage; for a nice change, things go better than in canon. Crack treated seriously.

Child's Play by 00cat00 -- Child Thor jumps through a portal to Jotunheim wanting to slay monsters, and ends up aiding and befriending a starving, abandoned Jotun boy instead. Long fic, found family. Part one of the Jotunn and the Prince series.

ok enough is enough. whichever one of you virgins invented instagram starbucks recipes, die 1000 deaths. I had a customer come in today holding out their phone (full brightness) and looking all shy and Im immediately like 🙄 fine ok, what does the instagram user want me to make for them this time. well this time it's a cringe harry potter themed frappucino. excuse me??? "can you make this for me?" I said excuse me??? -- I mean *customer service voice* "yeah it looks like I have all the ingredients, haha sure!"

ok cringe instagram harry potter frappucino drinker. ok. die. "Ive never had this drink before" yeah I can tell due to the fact that it didnt exist until someone posted a #aesthetic photo of it to instagram 14 hours ago ok. ok,

but whatever, Im paid to put up with this shit. so I add the ingredients all up on my computer and congrats! ur harry potter cringe social media drink has $10 worth of syrup in it. are you happy??? is this what you wanted??? a $10 frappucino??? $10. for a drink. you doubled the price of this drink for ur off-brand "harry potter and the legend of the overpriced starbucks drink" drink. you doubled the price!!! is this how u imagined spending ur day? is this what u wanted to do when u woke up this morning? $10 for a 24oz drink?

and u know, you KNOW the influencer making this recipe doesn't even work at a starbucks cause when it was all said and done the drink looked like shit. my blender was straining against the weight of your sins (and syrups) and Im sweating, Im an animal, Im losing my mind and my blender is getting watered down frappucino syrups everywhere -- u put so much shit liquid in this blender it doesnt even fit in the cup btw. it's making a huge mess. but is it instagramable? no, its fucking ugly. #trending #foryoupage #cringe $10 harold potter drink for adult children,

so are you happy? is ur social media influencer bestie happy? I made ur stupid $10 drink for u. does it taste good? no? well I hope instagram shuts down tomorrow. I hope you read a different book. I hope I never get sober. there is no sign of land. I hope you die. I hope we both die.

we've done it again folks

Happy April, fools >:)

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use, and i cannot stress this enough, thriftbooks